Mess is Mine
by trace619
Summary: Ex-LAPD Detective Olivia Benson is now a short cropped bleach blonde named Rachel Martin. Ex-NY ADA Alex Cabot is now a long haired bottle brunette named Emily Dawson. Neither knows the other is in the Witness Protection Program in Wisconsin. What happens when they meet? And what will happen when each can finally leave WPP? A trace619 & Little Miss Nicap collaboration.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Well, I'm back again. Credit for the idea for this story goes to Little Miss Nicap. It was her idea and she has trusted me with writing it. We have been discussing it since November and we are very excited about it. This is going to be very different but at the same time will follow SVU canon to an extent. The story begins during Loss so most of you will know what that means. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 1

It was already a warm September morning as Detective Olivia Benson walked into the squad room of the LAPD Special Victims Unit. As she took a seat at her desk she glanced at the picture of her and her Mom that sat there. Her relationship with her Mom had been strained at times but seeing how happy they both looked in the picture always brought a smile to her face. She turned her computer on and began checking over the messages that were on her desk. As difficult as her work was she loved what she did. She had always wanted to be a police officer but when she was twelve years old her career path was solidified the day her Mom told her she was the child of a rape. Serena had been raped while in college in New York City and after graduation fled the city in an attempt to rid herself of the painful memories. Even though Los Angeles was on the opposite side of the country it didn't make the pain go away. How could it though when your child was the result of the rape. Olivia had always wondered how her Mom had managed to celebrate her birthday. There was never much of a party, usually a couple friends, some pizza and a cake from a grocery store bakery. It was better than nothing but Olivia knew it killed her Mom to even be at the party. After all, how do you celebrate the result of the worst moment of your life?

"Mornin Liv." Elliot Stabler said as he walked into the room and dropped a pastry on his partner's desk.

"Thanks." Olivia said as she held the pastry up and then took a bite. She waited till he had taken his seat across from her before speaking again. "So how did the game go last night?"

"Dickie scored a touchdown." He said smiling with fatherly pride. "He wants to know when you're going to come watch him play."

Olivia smiled at the thought of watching the boy play football. She may not have children of her own but she loved kids and she enjoyed being around the Stabler kids. "I hate to make him a promise then break it but tell him I'll try and make it to next Saturday's game."

They were both quiet for a bit as they went through paperwork that had made its way to their desk overnight.

"So what did you do last night?" the blue eyed detective asked.

"I went to the hospital to try and talk to Elaina again but she still isn't talking." She sighed as she leaned back in her chair "She knows who raped her Elliot, I'm sure of it."

"She probably does Liv, but you know when a victim is scared they're reluctant to talk."

Both looked up when Captain Cragen walked out of his office and into the squad room. "Fin is at the lab, he said they've got a hit on DNA from Elaina's rape kit." He walked over and handed Olivia a piece of paper.

"Sonny Dipalo, aka Sonny D." she looked up at the Captain with a skeptical look.

Elliot burst into laughter "Sonny D? Like the kids drink?"

Cragen couldn't help but smile slightly at the thought of it. "There's nothing 'kid' about this guy."

Olivia pulled up Sonny's record on her computer and let out a low whistle "Sonny Dipalo, twenty five years old and a record as long as my arm. Arrests leading back to when he was thirteen, starting out with petty theft but he's worked his way up to assault, battery, and larceny. Was charged at twenty one for attempted murder but charges were dropped after the Prosecutor was unable to bring enough evidence." As she continued scrolling she realized why he wasn't in jail. "He's a member of the LA Knights gang and has ties to New Jersey and the Ricci Crime Family."

"Great." Elliot said as he nodded and paced around their desks "Not only is our suspect a gang member here in LA he also has ties to the Mafia." He looked to Olivia "That shouldn't make things too tough, should it?"

The brunette ran her fingers through her hair, she hated when their cases involved a gang. Of course this was LA and a lot of their cases involved gangs, but this meant that they would have to get involved with the gang unit and they could be very territorial at times.

"Okay." She said as she slid her chair back to face her partner and Captain "We reach out to the gang unit and see what they have on Sonny, and I'll go back to the hospital and see if Elaina will talk."

"Since Fin used to work Narcotics he has connections with the Gang Unit. I'll have him get in contact and see what we can find out." Cragen said.

Olivia picked up her cup of coffee and downed the last bit before she and Elliot headed toward the elevators. As the doors opened ADA Casey Novak stepped off. Olivia grinned "Hey Casey."

"Olivia." she said with a bit of a smirk. Then turning "Elliot."

"What brings you here Counselor?" he asked.

"I needed to talk to Cragen about a case." She looked to Olivia again "Where are you two headed?"

"We got a hit on Elaina's rape kit. I'm going to try talking to her again." she said as she tried not to blush.

Casey remained professional "Okay, let me know if you need a warrant." She said before walking past, making sure to brush against Olivia in the process.

They stepped onto the elevators and once the door closed Elliot grinned but faced straight ahead "So what's the deal with you and Novak?"

Olivia looked at him, but a little defensively replied "There's no 'deal' with me and Novak."

At that Elliot laughed and looked her in the eye "Don't act like you weren't blushing a minute ago." A faint pink colored her normally olive complexion "There it is, you're doing it again!"

Thankfully they had reached the ground floor and Olivia made a break for the open elevator door "Asshole." She said as she walked off.

Once in the car Elliot continued his good natured teasing "I notice you two have been hanging around each other a little more lately."

Olivia banged her head against the headrest and then looked over at her partner "Okay…so…we're kinda, sort of dating. Are you happy?"

"Yeah." He said sincerely.

Olivia looked over in shock "Really?"

"Yeah Liv. I mean I like Casey and I don't want to see you alone, I want you to be happy. So if kinda, sort of dating Casey makes you happy then I'm happy."

Olivia breathed a sigh of relief "Thanks El that means a lot."

The ride was quiet until they were about to pull into the hospital parking garage "So how serious is it?"

"Not very, we've only been going out for about a month. A few dates when our schedules have permitted."

"So, is it going to become serious?" he asked as he parked the car.

"We're not sleeping together if that's what you're asking!"

The former Marine shook his head and held up his hands "I wasn't!"

"Uh huh." She said as she nodded.

"I promise." Then a sly grin "Although the way you two were blushing at the station…"

"All right if you must know, we made out on her couch last night."

"But?" he knew his partner well and he could sense a but coming.

"But I'm not sure I'm ready to go that far with her yet. I mean I like kissing her and last night was pretty great but I just don't want to screw things up you know. It's like it just doesn't feel like it's right yet."

Elliot looked at her seriously "Is she pressuring you?"

"What?" Olivia looked wide eyed at him "No, God no. Casey would never do that. Besides I think she feels the same way. I mean we were slowly rounding the bases on her couch last night and just when I was thinking I needed to stop, she stopped. The look in her eyes made me think she's not ready either."

He nodded in understanding "You'll know when it's right." And with those words the conversation ended and they headed into the hospital to speak to their victim.

In the room Elliot was leaning against the wall while Olivia sat in a chair next to the bed "Elaina, there was a match to the DNA collected in your rape kit." She watched as the young woman grew visibly nervous "Is there anything you want to tell us? Do you remember anything at all?"

Eliana tried to hold her tears back but was unable "He'll kill me."

"Elaina he can't hurt you." Elliot said in a soft voice "We can protect you but you have to tell us who raped you."

Elaina shook her head "No, he will kill me. You can't protect me."

Olivia reached out for her hand and was grateful when she was allowed to take it. "Elaina I promise you we will get him. All you have to do is give us a name." she could see the young brunette was fighting a battle "Elaina," she whispered "Do you know who raped you?"

"Sonny." She said in a sob. "Sonny Dipalo." Then a louder cry "Oh God, he'll kill me!"

Olivia gently held the young woman as she cried while Elliot made a phone call arranging twenty four hour protective detail for Elaina. He stepped from the room and called Casey to ask for a warrant for Sonny's arrest. Both detectives remained at the hospital until a uniform officer arrived and took up his post outside Elaina's room.

As they walked into the hospital lobby they saw Fin walking toward the elevators "I called my buddy in the Gang Unit. He said Sonny likes to hang out at a pizza joint on Ocean Ave."

Elliot shrugged as he faced his partner "I'm in the mood for pizza, how about you?"

As Olivia drove Elliot was on the phone with Casey to find out the status of the arrest warrant. He hung up and informed Olivia that Casey had secured a warrant. Now they just hoped Sonny was there. Fin had gone ahead to make a pass by the restaurant and wait to back up his fellow detectives.

Olivia parked the car and she and Elliot made their way in. They immediately recognized the man from his most recent mug shot. He was sitting at a table with two other men.

"Sonny Dipalo." Elliot said as he walked up to the table.

"Yeah?" Sonny said with a bit of an attitude.

"Stand up." Olivia said as she stood next to him.

"For what?" he asked with a raised voice as he looked up at the brunette detective.

"You're under arrest for the rape of Elaina Daniels. Now get up." she said as she pulled her handcuffs out.

"You gotta be out of your damn mind!" Sonny shouted as he jumped up and attempted to make a run for the door, pushing Olivia toward a table opposite his.

Elliot blocked his path but he quickly knocked the detective down and continued toward the door where Fin was approaching him. He was surprised though when he felt a weight against his back as he fell to the floor. Olivia had regained her footing after being pushed back and managed to tackle him from behind.

"Sonny Dipalo you are under arrest for the rape of Elaina Daniels." She said as she cuffed him and began to read him his rights.

Fin walked ahead of them and opened the back door of the squad car that had joined them as backup, with Elliot following along behind his partner. As Olivia pushed him into the backseat Sonny looked up at her with a menacing look "You just made a huge mistake bitch."

"Yeah?" Olivia asked as she leaned in "You made an even bigger mistake when you raped Elaina." She replied as she slammed the door shut.

"Did he just threaten you?" Elliot asked as he walked up. Olivia shook her head but it didn't stop her partner. Elliot leaned down to look in the window "Did you just threaten her?"

Olivia placed a hand on his shoulder "I'm fine Elliot." She looked down at the cold eyes staring back at her "He doesn't scare me."

* * *

Alex Cabot stood just outside Judge Petrovsky's chambers trying to decide what to do. After just having been informed that a federal judge had barred Judge Petrovsky from subpoenaing a DEA agent she knew her case was quickly heading down the drain. She took a calming breath and started toward the elevators. She shook her head when she saw Det. Brian Cassidy and Det. Nick Amaro walking toward her.

"They can just go over the judge's head and that's it?" Nick asked as they walked down the hallway.

"I'm going to appeal it to the Second Circuit." Alex replied "Now we're getting into a violation of state's rights."

All three stopped short though when Agent Donovan approached them.

"I thought you didn't want to show your face around here?" Brian asked.

"Ms. Cabot, we've received a credible threat."

"It didn't come from us!" Alex said as she stepped closer and lowering her voice "We have kept your identity confidential."

The other man shook his head "The threat was made against you."

Alex froze, feeling a slight shiver run down her spine. She looked to her left at her detectives, their expressions clearly showing confusion as well as concern. She was aware of Agent Donovan placing a hand on her shoulder and guiding her toward the elevator. As they exited the courthouse she couldn't help but look around more than she normally would. She was grateful when Nick and Brian stayed close on either side of her. Nick held open the passenger side door for her before climbing into the back seat of the Crown Victoria. As they drove through the streets of New York her mind was racing, as well as her heart. She jumped slightly when she felt Brian lightly pat her arm. She looked over and gave him a weak smile.

All four sat around a table as Agent Donovan explained when the threat had been intercepted. Alex listened as the two men talked about the one man's 'girlfriend', her. She looked up in surprise at Nick as the one man rattled off her address and what time she usually got home from work.

"Son of a bitch." Brian said as he sat up to listen closer.

Alex had been trying to keep her nervousness under control but as soon as she heard her mother mentioned the nervousness turned to fear. When she heard the one man give her mother's address she had to fight to control the nausea. "Oh my God!" she said in a low voice as she dropped her head into her hands. She listened as Agent Donovan asked a few questions and did her best to answer but she was now too rattled to really know what she was saying.

Nick leaned toward her "Okay, as of right now you have a protective detail. You set foot outside you have an armed escort."

Brian leaned back in his chair "We'll have to rig a security system at the office and the apartment."

Agent Donovan informed them that Federal Marshals were prepared to offer her protection and would be there within the hour to escort her home.

Alex was finally able to shake her mind from the fog that it was currently lost in. She shook her head "No, I want to go home now."

"Okay, we'll take you." Nick said while looking across the table at his partner.

After leaving the office Alex nodded toward a restroom and told them she just needed a minute. Nick motioned her to wait a minute and stepped into the restroom to make sure it was clear before allowing her to enter. She smiled at the gesture as she passed by him. She liked her detectives, all of them, but she had worked with Amaro and Cassidy more than the others. She was grateful for both of them being with her, especially Nick. They had grown close over the last couple years and she counted him as a good friend.

Alex grabbed a paper towel and wet it then placed it on the back of her neck. She leaned over the sink and took a few calming breaths. She was just beginning to calm down when her phone rang causing her to nearly jump through the ceiling. She smiled slightly when she heard the southern accent of Abbie Carmichael. "Hey."

"Hey, I tried calling your apartment. Where are you?"

Alex was about to answer but remembering her phone could be tapped decided against it. "Still working."

"Oh." Abbie replied "Well do you want to come over when you're finished? I could order dinner, or if you're really feeling adventurous I could cook for us." the smile evident in her voice.

Alex smiled but at the same time was growing fearful for the brunette. "Um…thanks but I'll have to pass. I've had a day." She could see the disappointment on the other woman's face through the phone.

"Oh, okay, well how about tomorrow? Lunch maybe?"

"Lunch sounds good."

"Great." Abbie said, a little more optimistic "Call me when you get home?"

"I will. Bye Abbie."

"Bye darlin."

Alex sighed as she hung up. She knew that her relationship with Abbie wasn't going anywhere but she didn't have the heart to break up with her. She would readily admit that Abbie was a good person and had been so good to her, not to mention she was more than a little easy on the eyes, but she just didn't see them together several years down the road. Making matters worse she was pretty sure Abbie could see a future for them. She decided that she would wait until this mess was over and then have a difficult conversation with Abbie.

The three walked out of the building, Nick and Brian on either side of Alex. The detectives were looking all around them while Alex stared at the pavement.

"Ms. Cabot!"

All three whirled around, Amaro and Cassidy drawing their guns on Agent Donovan. They all breathed a sigh of relief that it was just him but the two detectives were less than thrilled that he ran out and shouted Alex's name. Alex walked over to him and listened to what he had to say, thanking him when he said that if they couldn't catch the guy he would go to Judge Petrovsky and testify in open court. He assured her it was handled before walking across the street to his car.

Brian was standing next to the car continuing to look up and down the street. Nick turned when the blonde stopped next to him "Alex, why don't you come stay at my place tonight till we figure this whole thing out? I'll call Maria, she won't mind. I promise." His worry evident.

"No it'll be okay, but thanks."

Brian opened the back door of the car "Okay, we do a drive by first to make sure nothing looks off." He had just sat down in the car when an explosion from across the street shook the vehicle.

Alex and Nick hit the pavement as the wave from the blast hit them. Neither were sure what exactly had happened. Both rose up onto their elbows and looked at the burning car across the street from them. Little cuts from glass and the fall littered their hands and faces. Both were still gasping for air as they looked to Brian then back to Agent Donovan's now burning car. Alex slowly looked over to her friend as the reality of what she was involved in began to sink in.

Nearly forty five minutes later Alex found herself sitting in the back of an ambulance looking out at the devastation in front of her. More than once her gaze had landed on the sheet covered remains of Agent Donovan and her heart broke for him and his family every time. She was aware of Nick standing in front of her, saying something about there wasn't anything she could've done, but most of it was fading into the background. She pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders in an attempt to stop the shaking her body insisted on doing. Reality quickly kicked in though when Agent Hammond approached. She tried telling him she didn't know how it happened but he didn't want to hear it, after all he'd just lost a partner and friend. She winced slightly when he said that Donovan had two kids.

"Knock it off!" Nick said but it wasn't stopping the older man.

Alex sat there allowing him to take out his hurt and anger on her, it wasn't like she could feel any worse.

Brian, who was approaching, quickly pushed his way in front of Hammond "Enough! Enough pal." He looked up at the blonde "Alex, you've got to get yourself off this case. End of story." His eyes were pleading with her.

Once she was finally home Nick begged her once again to come stay with him and his wife but she again refused. Brian then offered to sleep on her couch just in case. She smiled and thanked them but still said no. They had made a couple passes around the block before finally going inside. Nick stopped and talked to the night doorman, letting him know that no one was to go up to Alex's apartment besides him or Cassidy. He also told him that she was not to receive any packages. Alex was about to unlock the door but Nick gently stopped her and took the keys. He and Brian entered first and methodically cleared the apartment.

"Okay," Nick said as he looked out the window at the street below "There is a radio car parked out front and it will be there all night." He eyed her carefully "I assume you're planning on going to work tomorrow."

"Yeah."

"Okay, you don't leave until Cassidy and I get here." He looked to his partner who nodded in agreement. "We'll personally escort you to work and home again tomorrow afternoon. There will also be an armed guard at your office. I talked to Lt. Murphy and he has been in contact with the police in Irvington, your Mom also has a protective detail."

"Oh my God! I need to call her." Alex said as she reached for her phone.

Nick held his own out "Use mine, just in case."

Alex fought the tears as she heard her Mom's worried voice. "I'm okay Mom I promise."

"Alex, sweetheart, what is going on? I get a visit from the local police saying that I have a protective detail and that a US Marshal will be by later to talk to me."

"Mom it's just…" she trailed off unsure how to explain it. "It's just someone I'm prosecuting. He's made a few threats, and they're just being careful. Is Dad with you?"

"No he's still in Boston but he'll be back in the morning. Alex why are the US Marshals involved if it's your case? You don't prosecute federal cases."

"They're just offering to help Mom. I fine, I promise. Two of my detectives are with me now and there is a car parked in front of my building. I'll have an escort for a few days as well but it'll be okay." She wasn't sure who she was trying to reassure, herself or her mother.

"Okay honey, I love you."

"I love you too Mom." She replied while trying to hold the tears back. She handed Nick his phone back and smiled "Thanks."

"Alex, are you sure?"

"Nick I'm fine here. Just go home and get some rest." She was lying, she wasn't fine, they all three knew it.

"See you in the morning. Seven okay?" Brian asked.

"Seven is fine. Thank you both, for everything."

The two men said their goodbyes and left, both standing on the other side of the door till they heard the locks click in place.

Alex suddenly found herself a little unnerved at being alone in her own home. She went to the kitchen and was about to pour herself a glass of wine but instead opted for the tequila that was there from a few weeks ago when Abbie had made margaritas for them. After taking a shot she went to take a shower, she wanted to relax under the hot water but the longer she was in there the more her imagination got the better of her and she quickly got out. Once out she checked the apartment again then chastised herself for allowing these people to unnerve her. She then poured a glass of wine, and after checking all the locks one more time, headed to bed.

It was well past midnight and she was no closer to sleep than she had been when she went to bed. She had gotten up and poured a second glass of wine in the hopes it would relax her enough to go to sleep but it wasn't working. She had thought the quiet would allow her to hear any noise but found it heightened her senses and made her aware of every little noise. She turned the television on to some mindless program but it was just enough to ease her nerves. She had tried closing her eyes but every time she did she saw Agent Donovan's burning car. She lay staring at the ceiling hoping sleep would eventually come, Brian's voice echoing in her mind that she needed to get off the case.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:Thank you for all the reviews, follows and favorites. I'm so glad you liked it! This chapter was meant to focus on both ladies but I had to split it into two. This chapter will focus on Olivia while chapter 3 will focus on Alex. I own nothing except my own characters, no infringement intended. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy! **

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Chapter 2

Olivia and Elliot walked into the squad room, a smirk on both their faces. They had been to the courthouse that morning for Sonny's arraignment and Casey had managed to get him remanded. They had made a stop at the hospital where Olivia informed Elaina that Sonny was in jail and that she was safe. The young woman was still scared but they told her that even though she was going home she would still have a protective detail. While Olivia didn't want to admit it Elaina's words were still echoing in her mind. _"It doesn't matter that he's in jail. If he wants to get you, he'll get you."_

"Where have you two been?" Cragen asked as he stepped from his office.

"We stopped at the hospital to check on Elaina on our way back." Olivia said as she took a seat at her desk.

"Sonny is currently sitting in lockup, no bail." Elliot smirked as he poured a cup of coffee.

The Captain looked around at the fairly busy squad room then back to two of his best detectives "Olivia, we need to talk." he nodded toward his office.

Olivia knew by his expression that it was serious and she immediately ran through her mind trying to figure out what she had done this time. She got up and followed and looked to her partner.

"Elliot, you should be in here too." The older man said.

Once they were seated the Captain leaned forward "I just received a call from Marshal Carson with the US Marshal Service. They have been investigating the LA Knights and they intercepted a phone call last night between Sonny and an unidentified gang member."

"Okay." Olivia said, a little unsure of where this was going.

Cragen blew out a shaky breath "He told them the name of the officer who arrested him, you. While Sonny didn't give the order a threat was made."

Olivia looked at the Captain then to her partner. She had heard what he had said but at the same time she didn't quite comprehend it. "A threat? Against me?"

"What kind of threat are we talking about here?" Elliot asked as he slid forward in his seat.

"He didn't say. Marshal Carson is on his way here to talk to you." he looked down at his hands "Olivia we need to set you up with a protective detail."

"I can defend myself."

Elliot turned to face her "We know that Liv, but we're dealing with a gang as well as ties to organized crime. It's not such a bad idea to have a detail for a few days until we can figure this out."

The brunette detective leaned back in the chair and sighed as she stared at the ceiling. She'd had perps threaten her before and nothing ever came of it, but this one was different. "Okay, so, what do I do now? What about work? I can't be chasing down perps or interviewing witnesses with a protective detail following me around."

"It'll probably be for a few days. The Marshal Service just needs time to figure out where the threat came from and it'll all be over." He smiled, trying to reassure her "Take a few days off, relax a little. It'll give this time to blow over and then you'll be back to work."

"He's right Liv."

Olivia raised her hands but dropped them back to her lap in defeat "Okay, so what do I do now?" they were interrupted by a knock on the Captain's door.

Cragen stood and greeted his guest before turning to his detectives "This is Marshal Tyler Carson. Marshal Carson, Detectives Stabler and Benson."

The man was young, a little too young Olivia thought but she was willing to give him a chance. She shook his proffered hand before sitting back down. "So what exactly is going on?"

"Detective Benson we intercepted a call on one of our many wire taps that we have on the LA Knights. The word got out on who the arresting officer was in Sonny's case. Now Sonny isn't one of the top members of the gang but he is high enough that they will do what they can to protect him." He pulled a small recorder from his pocket and placed it on the desk "This is what we picked up, one of the voices is a known gang member the other we haven't determined who he is yet."

"_Hey man it's me. I need a favor. I'm not going to make it back in time, could you drop my sister's present off to her?"_

"_Yeah, sure."_

"_Okay her name is Olivia. She usually leaves work around seven or so but don't take it to her at work. She lives at 129 West Maple Ave. Apartment 5B."_

"_Okay man, I got it."_

"_You have to make sure she gets it today. I don't want her to think I forgot about her."_

"_No problem man, I'll make sure she gets it today."_

"That call was intercepted at a little after six this morning. The man placing the call is Little G and he is a known member of the Knights, we are trying to determine who the other man is. We can't trace his phone because he's using a disposable one."

"Well, you're not going home tonight." Elliot said.

Olivia turned to him "I'm not going to let these punks run me out of my own home. Now I'm willing to accept the protective detail but I'm going home."

"Detective we are prepared to put you up in a hotel for a few days."

"No, I'm going home. Now either you can protect me there or I can do it myself."

The three men looked at one another, Elliot and Cragen knew full well that there would be no changing her mind. "Okay, we'll escort you home. I have two Marshals outside ready to go."

Olivia walked out into the squad room and pulled her purse from her desk and a few things from her locker she thought she might want over the next few days. She was just closing it when Fin approached "What's going on Liv?" he whispered.

She shook her head in an attempt to wave it off "One of Sonny's friends made a threat against me and they're just being a little overprotective. I'm gonna have a protective detail for a few days."

He looked at her seriously for a moment then placed a hand on her shoulder "The Feds are a bunch of punks. You need me Liv just call, I'll be there in a heartbeat."

She smiled and squeezed his arm "Thanks Fin, I appreciate it."

As the day slowly turned into evening Olivia was growing more restless with each passing hour. She called downstairs to let the Marshals know she was going out. They had urged against it but that only made her more determined to go out. When she stepped outside her door the female Marshal was there to greet her, Grayson was her name. "Look I know you're just doing your job but if I don't get out for a little bit I'm gonna go nuts."

"I understand but you have to realize they are after you." she sighed, knowing she wasn't going to win the argument. "My partner is waiting downstairs for us. You and I will take a walk around the block, just two friends out for a stroll and he will follow along behind."

Olivia knew that was the best she was going to get "Okay."

Although the walk was short Olivia found that it did help calm her nerves. She also found that she enjoyed talking to Marshal Grayson and discussing their careers. As they turned the corner that would bring them back to her apartment Olivia pointed across the street "They have really good ice cream. Since I'm being such a pain in the ass would you allow me to treat you to dessert?"

Marshal Grayson nodded then placed a quick call to her partner who was a few yards back "Sure, but no hanging around. We get our order and leave."

"Deal." Olivia said with a smile.

Ten minutes later they were crossing the street and heading back to Olivia's apartment. While her building wasn't in one of the busier areas of the city there were shops along with a few bars and restaurants. The street was becoming more crowded as people went about their evening. Olivia was looking at Marshal Grayson as the other woman talked about growing up in Colorado when a man bumped into her. "Sorry."

Marshal Grayson was about to say something when she felt the brunette slump against her. She turned her head just in time to see Olivia leaning forward clutching her stomach. The woman reached out just in time to grab Olivia before she hit the ground "Olivia? What's wrong?"

Olivia was aware of Grayson speaking to her but she was unable to respond. Her stomach felt as if it were on fire while at the same time it felt as with every move her skin was being ripped. She tried to speak but all that came out was a strangled sob. She looked down and began to panic at the sight of blood, her blood, dripping onto the sidewalk. "Stabbed." Was all she managed to say.

"Oh God!" Grayson tried to hold the brunette up but was struggling. She looked behind her just in time to see her partner, Marshal Matthews, running toward her "She's been stabbed Jason!" people were beginning to stare, a few offering to help, as she guided Olivia away from the center of the sidewalk. She looked back and saw Jason frantically looking around for the assailant but it was too crowded. Grayson pulled her phone from her pocket and called 911 while pressing her hand to Olivia's wound.

The next few minutes were chaos for Olivia as she struggled to stay awake. She was getting cold and could feel her body shaking. She was trying to focus on what was going on around her but it grew more difficult with each passing second. The last thing she remembered was looking up into the kind face of a stranger.

* * *

Olivia slowly opened her eyes. She was aware of a dull ache in her abdomen but at the same time her head felt fuzzy and her throat was sore. She blinked a few times as she tried to determine where she was. The smell of disinfectant was the first thing to hit her senses, followed by beeping of machines, and the tubes and wires attached to her body. She rolled her head to her left and a faint smile spread across her face when she saw Elliot sitting in the chair next to the bed.

"Hey Liv, you're awake!" he smiled as he reached out and took her hand in his.

"Wh…wha…what happened?" she finally managed to whisper.

He picked up the water from the bedside table and poured a bit in a cup. He then held the straw to her lips and allowed her to sip a little before pulling it away "Just a little for now." He sat the cup down then took her hand again "Do you remember anything at all?"

Olivia shook her head, quickly realizing it maybe wasn't the best idea. "Uh…ice cream. We had stopped for ice cream." She reached her hand down to her stomach and instantly felt the tenderness there as well as the bandages. "Some guy bumped into me and then I was bleeding."

Elliot nodded and sighed before speaking "You were stabbed Olivia." he watched as her eyes widened slightly "Grayson said that a man bumped into you, he's the one who did it."

"They get him?"

Elliot shook his head "Not yet but we're gonna get him Liv. I promise you, we'll get him."

"What now?" she asked as she tried to comprehend what she'd been told.

"The doctor will be in soon to talk to you. There is a US Marshal posted outside your door, and I'm not leaving your side until we figure this out."

Olivia drifted in and out of consciousness the rest of the morning and afternoon before the medicine finally began wearing off early in the evening. It had been almost twenty four hours since the stabbing and she was still as confused as when she woke up. Marshals' Grayson and Matthews had been in to check on her, both apologizing profusely for what happened. Olivia told them she understood and thanked them for saving her life. The doctor had also been in to check on her and explained that she was lucky, the blade had missed her major organs but it had nicked an artery so they had to operate in order to stop the bleeding. The older woman telling her she was positive she would make a full recovery. Fin and Cragen, as well as Casey, were waiting to see her but the Marshals insisted they talk to her first. Marshal Carson tried asking her questions to see if she remembered anything about the man who stabbed her but as hard as she tried she couldn't remember anything. If she was being honest she didn't even remember seeing his face. He told her they were interviewing witnesses and they were doing everything in their power to find him.

"Thank you for what you're doing." Olivia said as she tried to adjust her position in the bed.

Carson nodded but sighed "Detective Benson I'm going to say something and I know you're not going to like it."

Olivia's eyes narrowed "Well, you might as well spit it out."

"The Knights know you're still alive, that they didn't succeed." Seeing the look on both the detectives' faces he explained "We don't know how they know but we intercepted more calls and they know you're still alive. Detective you are not safe. They will not stop until you are dead."

Olivia had never been one to back down or allow a perp to scare her but there was something about Marshal Carson's words that made the little hairs on the back of her neck stand up. She looked to Elliot and could see the anger at the gang as well as the fear and worry in his eyes. She laid her head back against her pillow and blew out a breath as she stared at the ceiling "Okay. So what do I do now?"

Marshal Carson slid forward in his seat "As long as you're in LA you will have a target on your back. We need to get you out of this city." He paused but was unable to finish his thought as Elliot had already picked up on it.

"Witness Protection."

Olivia looked to her partner then back to the Marshal "Witness Protection? Are you serious?! People who go into that are supposedly dead. Did you declare me dead?"

"No, besides the gang knows you're still alive so that wouldn't work. We do want to move you into the Witness Protection program for your safety. We will move you to a secure location once you are able to leave the hospital and while there we will give you a new identity and a new past."

"So just like that huh?" she asked with a snap of her fingers "You'll drop me in the middle of BFE with a new life and everything will be just fine I guess?"

"Detective this is what we do. The way we keep people alive is by hiding them in plain sight. This way it'll allow us time to find the man who stabbed you as well as who ordered the hit. We have been working for a while at taking this gang down, you being in the program will also allow us time to do this."

She looked to Elliot but saw that as much as he didn't like her leaving he was leaning toward the idea. "So what happens if you never take them down? I just stay in hiding forever?"

"I'll be honest it does happen, but there are also numerous cases of people being able to leave as well."

Olivia was quiet for a minute "I'll need some time to think."

"Of course." He said as he stood to leave "A Marshal will continue to be posted outside your door no matter what you decide. Your partner has given a list of a few people who can visit, aside from that no one other than the doctor or nurses can get in." he shook both their hands then left.

Once he left Elliot called the Captain and Fin and asked them to come in. The two men hugged the brunette and after a little small talk they asked what the Marshal had said. "They want me to go into Witness Protection."

Silence fell over the room as the two men took in the news. "Is that what you want Olivia?" Cragen asked.

"It really doesn't seem like I have much choice." She ran her fingers through her hair. "I mean I can stay here and take a chance on getting killed or I can run away."

"Liv it's not running away." Fin said gently "It's called surviving. I know I can't stand the thought of you going away but if it means you staying alive…" he trailed off.

The four sat quietly for a bit, here and there discussing her medical situation and what the doctor had told her. The room had grown silent again when Olivia sighed "Um…I'm gonna need to talk to Casey." the look on Fin and Cragen's face telling her they had suspected something was going on between them. "I'm going to need to talk to her alone guys. That includes you too Elliot." All three nodded and stood.

"Your job will be waiting when you get back." Cragen said as he struggled to hold back his tears.

"Thanks Captain, thank you for everything." Her tears finally starting to spill over.

The older man simply squeezed her hand and nodded, not trusting his voice to speak.

Fin leaned down and whispered in her ear while hugging her "It doesn't matter where you go Liv, like I told you the other day…you need me just call, I'll be there in a heartbeat. I still got your back Olivia."

She smiled "Thanks Fin. I'll be back."

"I know you will baby girl."

All three men left the room leaving her alone for the first time since this whole mess started. She found herself being a little nervous as well as jumping at the noises from the hall. She jumped again when there was a knock at the door and then Casey stepped inside. While she may have still been unsure about the direction of their relationship she couldn't deny that she did care about the red head, and judging by the tears in Casey's eyes she cared for her too. "Hey." Olivia smiled as she wiped a few more tears.

Casey walked over and started to sit down in the chair but Olivia motioned her to sit on the edge of the bed. The red head cautiously sat down then leaned in for a gentle kiss. "How are you feeling?"

"Like hell." Olivia laughed, causing the red head to laugh as well and ease a little of the tension in the room "I don't care what anyone tells you, getting stabbed is a bitch."

"I'll have to keep that in mind." Casey chuckled as she took Olivia's hand in her own. They both grew quiet as both tried to figure out how to say what they wanted to say. "So what happens now?"

Olivia looked to the window as she struggled to keep her emotions under control. As she turned back to Casey she laced their fingers together "I'm um…I'm going into the Witness Protection Program."

"You're what?" Casey asked in disbelief.

"I don't like it Casey but as much as I hate to admit it I don't really think I have a choice. It's like Marshal Carson said, I'm not safe until they are caught. They want me dead Casey."

"So…when do you leave?"

"I'm not really sure. They'll want to get me out as soon as possible." she became quiet as she tried to decide how to say what she needed to say. She reached her free hand up and cupped Casey's cheek and tilted it so she could see her eyes. The pain and fear were evident there. "Casey I don't know how long I'll be gone. It could be six weeks, it could be six months. Hell, it could be six years, or…I may never get to come back." she swallowed her tears at the words and saw Casey do the same. "I don't expect you to wait for me. I want you to go on with your life and most importantly I want you to be happy."

Casey wiped her tears, she knew they weren't in a serious relationship and honestly she didn't see it turning into one if they had continued on. She did care for Olivia though and she knew she always would. It broke her heart to think of the brunette going off somewhere alone, having to assume a new identity as well as constantly look over her shoulder for fear of being killed. "I'm going to miss you."

Olivia smiled, more tears falling, "I'm going to miss you too. Promise me you'll keep fighting for the victims."

"Always." She blew out a shaky breath "And I promise I'll try to be happy. Now I want you to promise me that you'll come see me as soon as you're out."

"I promise." Olivia smiled. She pulled Casey down to her for a kiss. While she may not have seen their relationship lasting she had to admit Casey was a pretty good kisser. When they parted Olivia placed one last kiss to her lips.

"I'm gonna miss kissing you." Casey said with a grin.

"I just had the same thought." Olivia laughed.

Casey finally stood but her fingers were still laced with Olivia's. "Now remember, I want you to come see me as soon as you're out. I don't care if we're older than dirt and I'm living in a home, at least stop by for coffee."

Both laughed at the image "Coffee it is then."

Casey leaned in and lightly pushed the hair back from Olivia's face "You're going to be fine." Olivia nodded, even if she didn't quite believe it. Casey leaned in for one last kiss "I'll see you when you get back."

Olivia watched as she walked toward the door "Keep kicking ass Novak!" she was rewarded with a bright smile. Once the door closed and she was alone again Olivia finally broke down.

The next morning Olivia nervously sat and listened to Marshal Carson as he detailed the next steps. "The doctor has given the all clear for you to be moved tomorrow. We will have a nurse who works for us traveling with you for the next few weeks. Your personal belongings will be moved to a secure location and your assets frozen."

"So when I am leaving?"

"We haven't set a time yet, it will be sometime tomorrow though. I am still arranging transport that will make it a little easier on you."

"Can Elliot get a few things from my apartment? Just sentimental items."

"We don't allow that. We don't want anything that could tip someone off as to who you are."

"They won't. It's a bracelet that I never wear but my Mom gave me when I graduated high school and a necklace when I graduated the academy. Neither identify me, nor relate to law enforcement."

He sighed as he thought about it, he really didn't want to argue with her. "Okay. Those two items only."

"And a gray hoodie." She saw the look on his face "Look it's a plain gray hoodie, I've had it forever and it's the most comfortable thing I own. Plus it will be something easy to wear with my injuries. If Elliot goes to get it for me and someone's watching they'll see him carrying a bag out and think he's just bringing things to the hospital for me." she narrowed her eyes and drew up her best detective stare "I want my stuff."

"Okay fine, but just those three items." He looked to Elliot "Go get it and be back here in an hour." He turned and walked out of the room.

Olivia motioned toward the notepad on the table. She quickly scribbled a few more things on the paper "Take this stuff to your house and hold onto it for me. I'll be back eventually to get it."

He looked at the list, it wasn't long just some diplomas from high school, college and the academy. A few of her awards and a few pictures. At the top of the list was her gold shield. "I'll be back in an hour."

The following morning Olivia was dressed in a pair of loose pajama pants and her gray hoodie. Marshal Carson and Elliot were helping her move from the bed to the wheelchair while the nurse who would be traveling with her talked to her doctor. The two jewelry items she had asked for were tucked securely in a little cloth bag in the pocket of her hoodie. She had also squirreled away the pic of her and her Mom that she'd carried in her wallet. She had snuck it out before they took her purse.

They all looked up when another man knocked and stepped into the room "We're ready."

Olivia looked nervously at Elliot before reaching up and pulling him in for a hug "Be careful."

"I will Liv." he pulled back and looked her in the eye "This won't be forever, you'll be back."

She nodded but neither were sure they believed it. "Do me a favor, watch out for Casey. I told her I don't expect her to wait for me and that I want her to move on with her life. I just want her to be happy Elliot."

"I will, I promise."

"Don't let her fall for some loser okay?" she grinned and he smiled "I want her happy but not with a loser." She reached out for his hand when the Marshal who had stepped into the room placed his hands on the back of her wheelchair. "I'm gonna miss you El." She said as she began to cry.

"I'll miss you too Olivia." he hugged her one more time then watched as his partner was wheeled from the room.

Olivia was wincing in pain as the SUV drove from the underground loading dock of hospital. They had made the backseat a little more adjustable which allowed her to recline a little more in an attempt to make her as comfortable as possible. She stared out the tinted windows and watched the city as it passed by. They had headed south out of the city and she knew they were probably going to drive in circles for a bit to throw off anyone who may try to follow. She smiled as she caught sight of the ocean, she loved the beach and had spent many days there as a kid to escape her Mom's drunken stupors. The beach had always had a calming effect on her. She was unaware she had started crying until she felt the tears on her cheek. The car made a turn left and she knew they were now headed east. Her tears fell faster as the sight of the ocean, her refuge, slipped from view. She wondered how long it would be before she saw home again.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you all for the reviews, follows and favs. I am so glad you are enjoying it! This chapter is very long and it is very emotional at times, and like the last chapter focused on Olivia this one will focus on Alex. In case you become confused when I mention the town Alex's parents live in it is different from what it is in the show and what I used in Ch1. I had planned on using a different town but ended up typing the one used in the show. I did go back and change it in Chapter One to the correct town. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 3

Alex was exhausted as she stood in the squad room of the sixteenth precinct. She had gotten very little sleep the night before. Every time she had closed her eyes she continued to see Agent Donovan's burned car. They were discussing how best to go about the case and while she was grateful the detectives were supporting her she was worried for their safety as well. "The DA's office has their own investigators who-" she was cut off by Cassidy.

"Who are a bunch of punks. I'm in."

"So am I." Munch said.

She looked at Nick and Lt. Murphy who also nodded. "Okay." She said with a slight smile. As the three detectives continued to discuss the case Murphy motioned her to join him in his office.

He handed over an old service revolver "It may look a little old but it's a reliable shot. I had a permit expedited for you." seeing the question in her eyes he elaborated "Since your prints are already on file with the DA's office they allowed it without your signature."

Alex smiled at the gesture while Murphy answered his phone. She wasn't crazy about guns but in this moment she couldn't help but think it wasn't a bad idea.

He looked up as he hung up the phone "Boss is looking for you."

Alex knocked before entering Arthur Branch's office.

"Are your ears still ringin?"

"A little." She said as she made her way over to the sofa.

"It won't last too long."

Alex sat quietly and listened as he spoke of Pablo Escobar, Colombian drug cartels and how many people had died over the years trying to fight them. While she wouldn't let it show she felt a chill as he mentioned the many judges, informants and law enforcement who have spent the rest of their lives with bodyguards because they stood up to a drug cartel. He then informed her they were dropping the Zapata case.

"Why?"

"The way I hear it the Feds have a better case than we would've ever had."

"How bad does it have to get? How many more people have to die?" Alex questioned.

"Too many people have already died Alexandra."

And with those words, while she didn't want to admit it, she felt a small bit of relief that this case was over.

The next day in court she asked Judge Petrovsky that charges be dismissed with leave to refile. The judge had barely laid her gavel down when two US Marshals stepped into the aisle and arrested Zapata for the murder of a Federal Agent. Alex watched as he was led from the courtroom and didn't fail to miss the look he was giving her.

Later that night everyone had decided an evening of drinks was in order. Alex sat at a table with Abbie, Nick, Cassidy and Munch. They all looked up expectantly as Murphy returned to their table "The Feds linked Zapata to the car bomb. He's going to flip and testify against Cesar Velez. If he provides enough evidence to secure an indictment the Colombians will arrest Velez and start the extradition process."

"In exchange for what?" Nick asked as he took a drink.

"Probably a reduced sentence and a new identity in Scottsdale, Arizona." Cassidy replied.

"And with those words my friends its time I leave." Munch said as he stood and said his goodbyes to everyone. Murphy stood as well and followed the older detective out of the bar.

The four who remained talked quietly about this and that as they nursed their drinks. The events of the past few days still not far from their minds.

Alex was staring into her whiskey when she was aware of Abbie leaning in "Are you ready to get out of here?" came the deep voice of the brunette.

Alex gave her a small smile "Not yet." She looked at the two detectives who were laughing over a joke. "I think I'll just stay with them for a while."

Abbie nodded as she gathered her purse "I have arraignment in the morning so I'm gonna get going." She leaned in to whisper again "You want to stay at my place tonight?" Alex sighed internally as she reminded herself of a conversation they desperately needed to have. While they hadn't slept together, and she knew Abbie would never force her or pressure her, she knew that sharing a bed in any way would eventually lead to sex. And while she was sure she would enjoy being with the brunette sex would only serve to make matters worse when she did end the relationship.

"No, I didn't get much sleep the last few nights, I just want to go home tonight."

Abbie managed to hide her disappointment "Okay darlin."

Alex leaned in for a kiss when she saw Abbie doing the same. Their lips parted and met briefly in a soft kiss. Even if she didn't see the relationship lasting Alex would admit Abbie was a pretty good kisser. As they parted they were aware of the whistles coming from the two detectives. "Oh grow up." Alex said as she threw a napkin at the pair.

The trio grew quiet again after Abbie left. "We had a good run," Brian spoke up "We were bound to get screwed sometime."

"Yeah, I mean Velez can do more harm to Zapata than the justice system ever could."

Alex appreciated them trying to make her feel better. "It just never seems like it's enough."

"Alex," Nick said with a smile "We can't always win."

"That's it though, even when we win we don't." she looked down at her drink then shook her head "Come on, let's get out of here."

"Get ya a cab?" Brian asked as the stepped onto the sidewalk.

"Nah, I'm not far from here I'll walk."

The conversation was quickly interrupted when several gunshots rang out into the night.

"Get down, get down!" Brian called out as he and Nick hit the pavement. When he heard the squeal of tires Brian jumped up and ran after the SUV trying to at least get a plate number.

Nick looked around as he was trying to get up. His eyes went wide and his breathing went shallow when he saw Alex laying sprawled on the sidewalk. "Alex! Alex!" he began crawling toward her "Oh God no! Alex!" As he pressed his hand to the wound in her shoulder he looked up to see the crowd that was slowly gathering "Someone call an ambulance. Now!"

Alex was vaguely aware of Nick saying her name but it was like she was underwater and his voice sounded far away. Her shoulder felt as if it were on fire yet at the same time she was beginning to feel cold. Her eyes were closing and she was fighting to keep them open but it was growing difficult.

"Alex. Alex it's gonna be okay." Nick said as he pressed harder to try and stem the bleeding but he knew he was fighting a losing battle as more blood seeped up between his fingers. He looked back over his shoulder to see Brian's look of shock and fear. He turned back to his friend. "Come Alex just stay with me." he could hear the sirens approaching. "The ambulance is on the way Alex, they're coming. You're gonna be fine Alex. Just stay with me. Listen to me Alex. Just stay with me."

Alex was still aware of Nick's voice but it was as if it was beginning to fade away. She tried to focus on the street lights and night sky above her but it was growing harder to keep her eyes open. Her head rolled to her right and she could see Nick's face but it was blurry. She blinked once or twice before losing the battle and her eyes finally closed.

The ER waiting room was bustling with people coming and going, but a small group of people sat quietly in the corner of the room. It had been over three hours since the shooting and they still hadn't heard anything on Alex's condition. Nick continued to stare at the floor only occasionally looking at the door expecting to see a doctor. Munch sat quietly next to him and did his best to comfort the young detective. Brian leaned against the wall and every so often would pace the waiting area before returning to their corner. Lt. Murphy was sitting off to the side on his phone trying to keep One PP updated. He had placed the call to the Irvington Police Department and asked them to notify Alex's parents. The Cabot's were now sitting to themselves, holding one another as they prayed for their daughter's life. Everyone looked up when Arthur Branch entered the waiting room.

"What the hell happened?" he asked as he looked between the detectives and their Lieutenant.

"I…I tried." Nick said as he stared at his hands. Even though Munch had forced him to wash them he could still she Alex's blood there. "I should've protected her. I should've pushed her down. I…I…."

Munch placed a comforting hand on the back of his neck "It's not your fault."

Branch walked over to Alex's parents and took a seat across from them asking if there was anything he or his office could do.

"Has anyone called Abbie?" Brian finally asked.

Nick sighed and shook his head. He looked down at his phone knowing he had the brunette's number after calling her one evening looking for Alex. He was just about to dial the number when he heard the door to a consult room open. "Cabot family?"

Everyone held their breath as they watched Alex's parents follow the doctor through the door. A few agonizing moments passed before a strangled sob from Mrs. Cabot confirmed their worst fear. Brian slumped into the chair behind him and dropped his head into his hands. Munch was standing with his hands in his pockets solemnly looking at the floor, he quickly turned his head and wiped a stray tear. Nick began pacing around the room before finally punching one of the vending machines.

Everyone waited until Mr. and Mrs. Cabot finally returned to the waiting room. The couple did their best to thank everyone for being there and then Nick for doing what he could to save her life. He barely nodded as in that moment it certainly didn't feel like he should be accepting their thanks.

"Did they say what happened?" Branch asked.

Mrs. Cabot tried to speak but was unable so her husband cleared his throat as he began to speak. "They said she lost too much blood. The bullet," he cleared his throat again as he struggled not to cry "The bullet severed an artery." He looked to Nick "The doctor said there was nothing that could've been done." He placed a hand on Nick's arm "Son, I don't want you blaming yourself for this. Alex has spoken very highly of you and I am so grateful that you were there with her." he wrapped his arm tighter around his wife and they began walking toward the exit. He turned to face the detectives, his tears finally beginning to fall "I want you to get the bastards who took my baby."

Alex slowly opened her eyes, the bright lights causing her to close them again. She started to move but quickly stopped when she felt the searing pain in her shoulder. She realized she was in the hospital and slowly the memories of what happened began to come back to her. She looked to her side and instead of seeing her parents, or even Abbie, she was surprised to see a woman not much older than her. She began to grow nervous when she realized she didn't recognize the woman.

"Miss Cabot. My name is Kelly Wilson, I am a US Marshal. How are you feeling?"

Alex cleared her throat "I was shot, how the hell do you think I'm feeling?"

Marshal Wilson grinned "Fair enough." She waited until it appeared that Alex was more alert. "The doctor will be coming in shortly to talk to you."

"Okay." She tried to make herself more comfortable but found it was difficult with her shoulder. "Did you catch them? Whoever shot me?"

"I'm afraid not Miss Cabot."

They were interrupted when a light knock was heard at the door. A doctor who appeared to be in his early forties entered. "Miss Cabot I'm Dr. Wilkes. I treated you when you came in. How are you feeling?"

"My shoulder is killing me."

"I'll make sure you get another dose of pain medicine as soon as you can have it." he pulled a chair up to the opposite side of the bed and took a seat "The bullet entered at an angle and lodged just under the shoulder bone. It nicked and artery and you did lose quite a bit of blood so we had to give you a transfusion. The bullet chipped the bone slightly from where it hit but it will heal, it will hurt for a while but it will heal. We lucked out and didn't have to operate since it was still close to your skin."

As he stood Alex reached out her left hand to shake hands with him "Thank you." once they were alone again she looked to the Marshal sitting next to her. "Has anyone called my parents? They've been worried sick about me for the last few days."

The dark haired woman cleared her throat as she slid forward in her seat. "They have been notified and I believe they may already be here. You've only been here two hours."

"Really?" Alex was shocked how little time had passed.

Kelly nodded "No one from your squad or family has been updated on you condition yet. We need to discuss something first."

Alex narrowed her eyes, she didn't like the feeling she was getting. "Okay."

"Can I call you Alex?" the blonde nodded "Alex you are not safe. You have gone up against a member of a Colombian Cartel. I assure you, they will stop at nothing to protect their interests. They attempted to assassinate you on a New York City street. As soon as they find out you survived they will make an attempt again. Now I'm not trying to scare you but they will come for you again. Until Velez is taken down you will have a target on your back."

There was a knot growing in her stomach and Alex knew she didn't like where this conversation was going. "Okay, so, what do I need to do?"

The Marshal had only had this conversation a couple times before and she never liked it. "Until the threat against you is dealt with we think it would be in your best interest to enter the Witness Protection Program. You would be declared dead, legally, and we would move you to a new location with a new identity." She waited for a response but all she was receiving was a look of shock.

"Let me get this straight." Alex said as she felt the prosecutor coming out "You want me to go live God knows where and pretend to be someone else while my family and friends think I'm dead?" she closed her eyes and laid her head back against the pillow. This wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening.

"Alex I know this is a lot to take in but we can keep you safe this way. Even if you had an armed bodyguard with you everywhere you went we couldn't guarantee your safety, this way we can."

Alex swallowed her tears as the reality of the danger she was in began sinking in. "Can I have some time to think about it?"

"Of course. The doctor and nurses who treated you do know of your status but they have been asked not to let anyone know your condition. I don't mean to pressure you but as soon as you've made your decision then we will notify your family." she gave Alex a sad smile before stepping outside the door.

Once alone Alex finally allowed the tears to fall. Of course some of them were for the pain she was in, but mostly it was for the life altering situation she found herself faced with. She understood what the Marshal said and as much as she hated to she had to agree. If Velez was willing to have her gunned down on a sidewalk in the middle of Manhattan there was no telling what he would do if he found out she was still alive. At the same time she didn't know if she could handle going off somewhere alone to start life over as someone else. Then there were her parents. She didn't know if she could live with knowing she was alive and they were grieving her death. Could she put them through that? At the same time she was still terrified as to what the cartel could do to them just to get to here if they found out she was alive. She closed her eyes and blew out a breath, no matter what decision she made someone would still get hurt. If she chose to stay she, or even her parents, could be dead within days or weeks. If she left she would be alone and her parents would be grieving the death of their child. She shook her head as she cried, the thought of leaving her parents grieving was killing her. The thought of giving up her life was killing her. She didn't know how she was to make a life changing decision in a matter of minutes.

Alex was lost in her thoughts when she heard a light knock and Marshal Wilson stepped into the room. The Marshal walked over and sat back down next to the bed. She smiled sympathetically "Have you made a decision?"

Alex cleared her throat "Will I ever be able to come back?"

The other woman sighed "I can't say. Some people are able to leave the program after months or even years…some never leave. If Velez is arrested and extradited or dealt with then there is a very good chance you will get to return. What I can tell you is that we can and will keep you safe."

Alex slowly nodded "Okay." She looked over to meet the other woman's eyes "I'll go."

The Marshal reached out and laid a comforting hand on Alex's arm "I'll get everything started to get you into the program. We have our own nurse who will be treating you as soon as you're able to be released." She squeezed Alex's arm "I'll be right back. I need to talk to the doctor, he'll…he has to go notify your family."

When the door opened Alex could see the plain clothes Marshal outside her door who was standing guard. When it closed and she was alone she began to cry. Her heart broke for her parents and what they were about to experience. She wished she had one last chance to hug her Mom and Dad and tell them how much she loved them. While not religious she closed her eyes and said a silent prayer, asking for comfort for her family and that she would one day be able to see them again.

It was well after midnight when Nick and Brian arrived at Abbie's apartment. They had decided to go and notify her despite the hour to avoid her hearing it on the news the next morning. Nick shifted nervously as they waited for her to answer the door, while Brian ran his hand over his face "I hate notifications." The sadness and exhaustion evident in his voice.

Abbie pulled the door open expecting to see a Homicide detective in need of a warrant not the two that were at her door. Brian's head was down, he was barely able to meet her eyes. She knew something was wrong but when she saw Nick's red rimmed eyes and the look of heartbreak in them the air left her lungs. "What's wrong?" she began to panic.

"Can we come in?" Brian asked solemnly.

Now she was shaking "What's wrong? Alex?"

"Abbie I'm so sorry." Nick said as his tears began again.

"No. No!" she cried as she felt her knees give out.

Brian was the first to react and quickly wrapped his arms around her waist to hold her up "Come on, let's get you inside." He helped her over to the sofa while he and Nick sat down on either side of her.

Abbie leaned forward and dropped her head into her hands as she sobbed. There was no way Alex was gone, it had to be a mistake. "How?"

Nick placed a comforting hand on her back "She was shot as we left the bar." He cleared his throat as he tried to stop his own tears. "It was a drive by. Cassidy ran after the car but they got away. I'm so sorry Abbie I tried to save her. I tried to save her."

"What about the hospital? I mean people get shot all the time and survive. Couldn't they do something?"

"They tried." Brian said quietly "She lost too much blood. Nick tried his best to stop the bleeding but he couldn't."

All three sat in silence as they mourned their loss "Oh God, her parents." Abbie said as she looked between the two.

"They've been notified, they were at the hospital." Nick said. When he saw the look on Abbie's face he decided to explain further "Abbie we weren't trying to exclude you it just happened so fast. I was about to call you when the doctor came to talk to the family. Once we knew she was gone we wanted to tell you in person not over the phone."

"If she'd just come home with me or if I had stayed…maybe I could've protected her. Maybe it would've hit me instead of her."

"Hey, hey," Nick said as he held her "There was nothing anyone could've done." He just wished he could convince himself of that.

The following day was the beginning of the grieving process for many in the DA's office, courthouse and sixteenth precinct. The detectives all wore black bands around their badges while Murphy had a blue and black banner hung in the squad room. Nick and Murphy were planning to travel later that afternoon to Alex's parents' home to offer their condolences again and to offer their help in anything they needed.

Alex remained in the hospital till later that day. It still hurt to move very much and while she never liked taking medicine, aside from something for a headache, she found that the pain pills did ease her suffering slightly. The only sleep she got the night before was when she had taken her medicine. When it wore off she would lay awake and wonder if she had made the right decision. She also worried about her family. She hated the thought of leaving them but if her being dead meant that Velez's people wouldn't harm her family she could accept it.

Late that night she finally left the hospital and was moved to a safe house just outside the city. Even though she was in New Jersey she already felt as if she was a million miles from home. She stared out the window of her bedroom and watched the lights of the city, wondering when she would get to see them again. She jumped slightly when there was a knock on the door.

"I'm sorry." Marshal Wilson said as she entered. "I'm going to be turning in soon but I wanted to check in on you first."

"I'm okay as I can be." Alex replied sadly. "How long will we be here?"

"Most likely till tomorrow. We will probably move again sometime after dark but I'm not completely sure yet. The two Marshals you met earlier will be standing guard tonight and of course I will be here as well."

"How long will you be with me?" while she had only known the other woman for about twenty four hours she had begun to trust her, and was dreading when they would part ways.

"I'll be with you until we have you placed and you're settled. I will also have your book for you sometime tomorrow, maybe the next day."

"My book?"

She nodded "Your book with your new identity and cover story. It will essentially hold your new life."

"Oh." Alex said as she turned back to the window and looked at the city.

"There is also someone here to see you." she walked back to the door and whispered to someone on the other side.

Alex turned a little surprised, she felt her heart rate quicken as she deeply wished that it would be her parents. She was shocked however when Agent Hammond entered the room.

"I'm glad to see you're okay Miss Cabot."

"Yeah, I bet you are." She said barely above a whisper.

"Look, my partner was killed I was upset and never mind the fact you couldn't back off."

Alex turned and the anger flashed in her eyes. Seeing it Kelly stepped in front of Hammond "Don't even start. You are only here because of your knowledge and investigation of Velez."

Alex stepped closer "I need you to do something for me."

"I'll do my best." He said honestly.

"Before I leave I want to see my two detectives and my girlfriend."

"No." both Hammond and Wilson replied.

"Look, it's bad enough I will probably never see my family again but I want to see those three. All I can remember aside from the pain was Nick begging me to stay with him. I don't want him living with the guilt that he couldn't save me for the rest of his life. I want to see Nick, Brian and Abbie. It just needs to be a few minutes is all." she fixed them with the same stare that she reserved for perps and their lawyers. She didn't know when, or even if, she would get to be counselor Cabot again, she wanted to make sure she got to be that part of herself at least one more time.

Hammond, knowing what he was up against, looked at Kelly, the look clearly saying they wouldn't win this argument. "No promises Miss Cabot."

Alex nodded "Thank you."

The following afternoon Alex sat staring at the midday news on the television. It was very surreal watching news coverage of your own death. She watched as one of the spokes people for the DA's office relayed what little info they had before Branch stepped in front of the microphone. He spoke of Alex's winning record as an ADA and the hundreds of victims she had gotten justice for, and how deeply missed she was going to be in the DA's office. Next up was the Police Commissioner, he spoke of what a loss it was for the police force as well since Alex was one of their own. He also spoke directly to whomever was responsible for her murder and assured them there was no safe hiding place, they would be found and prosecuted. She had managed pretty well until her Uncle Bill Harriman stepped up to the mic. She loved her uncle dearly and seeing the grief in his eyes was almost more than she could bear.

"_Speaking as a Judge I will say that the Justice system lost one of their finest a few days ago." He cleared his throat and looked down before looking back at the camera and reporters "Speaking as an Uncle," his voice cracking slightly "I will say I lost one of the most wonderful people I've ever had the privilege to know. Alex was full of life and anyone who knew her was the better for it. She loved her job and she loved speaking for those who couldn't. While Special Victims is one of the most difficult units to prosecute cases for Alex felt it was where she was supposed to be." He looked down once again as the tears threatened "Alex's mother and father asked me to extend their heartfelt thanks for the outpouring of sympathy they have received. While we may celebrate Alex's life and everything she fought for, her death," another crack in his voice accompanied by a couple tears "Has left a hole in our hearts and our lives that can never be filled. We ask that you allow us our privacy at this most difficult time."_

With her uncle's final words Alex felt her body begin to shake as sobs over took her. She turned the television off and threw the remote, earning the attention of Kelly. When the Marshal entered the tiny living room she found the blonde laying on her side crying. "Alex?" she asked cautiously as she approached. "Are you okay?"

Alex wiped her tears and slowly sat up, wincing slightly from pain as she did so. "It's so unfair." Then in a stronger voice "It's just so fucking unfair!" she looked at the woman who had sat down beside her "Here I am, alive and headed God knows where while my family thinks I'm dead. My parents are about to do the one thing no parent should experience, which is to bury their child, and I'm not even in the damn casket!"

The other woman had seen this from other people in the program and she knew it was something Alex needed to get out of her system. She was angry, scared and grieving the loss of her own life. It would be a process that she would slowly work through over the coming weeks and months. "Alex I understand." Upon seeing the look she was receiving she clarified "No I don't know exactly what you're feeling but I do understand it because I have seen others go through it as well. It will take time but you will slowly work through this." she reached over and was relieved when Alex allowed her to take her hand and give it a comforting squeeze. "Now I've made us a sandwich and a salad. While it may not be restaurant quality you do need to keep your strength up."

Alex smiled a bit as she stood "Thank you."

Late that evening they were preparing to move again. Alex put on the clothes she had been given, a few new items that had been purchased for her trip to who knows where. There was a slight chill to air, fall had definitely arrived and she was grateful for the leather jacket they had given her. She waited as Kelly helped her into the sling for her arm then tied the scarf around her neck.

They walked downstairs to await the car that would take her away. There still hadn't been word on whether or not she would be allowed to see her friends before she left and she was slowly giving up hope. The one bright spot in her day had been when the received word that Zapata had been killed while in holding, no witnesses. At least he received some form of justice for killing Lydia Sandoval.

Alex was sitting in the backseat of the black SUV with Marshal Wilson as they made their way to their next location. She began to worry though when it appeared that they were getting closer to the river and the area was looking more and more remote. She looked at the woman on her left who simply gave her a small smile. The cars pulled off the road and into an area where they wouldn't be seen. "What's going on?"

The Marshal smiled "Just a little last request."

Nick, Brian and Abbie climbed from the Crown Vic and approached Hammond. Neither detective had much use for the DEA Agent but since this was about tying up a loose end on the case they figured they could be nice for the moment. Abbie walked between them, still unsure of her presence being requested. Both men stayed close to the dark haired woman knowing she hadn't eaten or slept much since the shooting.

"What did you call us out here for?" Nick asked as they followed Hammond to the SUV.

"Real pain in the ass this one." Hammond said as he looked over his shoulder "Wouldn't take no for an answer."

As the back door opened and Alex stepped into view Nick, Brian and Abbie were sure they stopped breathing. Nick began tearing up at the sight of his friend while Brian stood with his mouth open unable to form a coherent thought. Abbie burst into tears as her knees buckled. Thankfully both detectives were quick on their feet and managed to grab her before she collapsed.

"Alex." she breathed between sobs.

"I am so sorry for all of this." Alex said as she fought her own tears.

Realization dawned on Brian first "Witness Protection." It was a statement not a question.

Agent Hammond looked at all three "This meeting, this conversation never happened."

"Your funeral's tomorrow." Abbie whispered.

"Which you're all expected to attend." Hammond replied.

"How long?" Abbie asked, her eyes red from the crying she had been doing for days while fresh tears streamed down her face.

Alex looked up beginning to feel her grip on her own emotions starting to slip "Until Velez is extradited or…otherwise dealt with." she looked back and forth between Nick and Brian, her eyes finally settling on Nick's "I don't want either of you blaming yourself for that night. I know you did your very best to protect me and if I had it to do all over again I would still trust you two with my life. Nick it's because of you that I'm alive. Whether you believe it or not you saved my life."

Nick was crying and he shook his head "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. You saved my life." then looking at him and Brian again "Keep an eye on my parents will you? They have a rough road ahead of them."

"Of course." Brian replied.

"Whatever you need." Said Nick.

She then looked to Abbie "I'm so sorry to put you through this. I know this is the last thing you want to hear but I want you to move on with your life." seeing Abbie lean into Nick as a fresh round of tears began she felt a little piece of her own heart break "Abbie I don't know how long I'll be gone….I may never get to come back. I want you to move on and I want you to be happy." She stepped over and pulled the raven haired woman close and wrapped her good arm around her "Promise me you'll try to be happy."

"I…I'll try." Abbie cried into her shoulder "I'll never forget you Alex. Never."

"I won't forget any of you either," then looking at Nick "Or what you did for me."

"We're on the move." Once of the Marshal's at the side of the car said.

Alex slowly climbed back inside the SUV and looked back at her friends, nodding her head in a silent goodbye. As the door closed behind her Alex took one last look at her friends before the lead car pulled away and their SUV followed. She looked down at her hands and cried as New York, and her life, faded into the background.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks again for the reviews, follows and favorites. This chapter will include both ladies as well as a little about their new identities but I'm not giving it all away just yet. Even though it may have moved quickly from their stabbing/shooting to them going into the program, their journey is just beginning. Usual disclaimers apply, I own nothing but my own characters. Again a thank you to Little Miss Nicap for trusting me with the idea for this story, I hope I do it justice. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 4

It had been three weeks since the stabbing, and three weeks since Olivia had spent more than two nights in one place. While her wound had healed nicely the emotional scars were still healing. At night she would have dreams of being stabbed again only this time she lay bleeding out on the sidewalk, the worst one was when she would dream she was kidnapped by the gang and was forced to watch as they killed her friends. After leaving LA there were stops in Nevada, Arizona, Colorado, Kansas, Missouri and their final stop was in Madison, Wisconsin, her new home. They had spent several days in New Mexico since that was where her new identity said she was from. She was now Rachel Martin, age thirty five, short blonde hair, born and raised in New Mexico. While in New Mexico the Marshals took the opportunity to take pictures of her at a few locations to add to her story. The entire time she was traveling she felt as if she were suffocating. People were around her at all times, barely leaving her a moment alone. Marshal Carson was still with her and he would also be who she contacted for any issues or emergencies. The nurse who was traveling with her had finally left once she had healed.

She was now settled into a small two bedroom ranch style house in a quiet neighborhood just outside Madison. When she was a kid she had lived in a house with her Mom but after graduating from the academy she had only lived in apartments. Olivia had to admit as much as she hated her situation she did kind of like her new house. It was nicely decorated, even if it wasn't her style, and the Marshals had assured her that she could redecorate any way she wanted. She was sitting on the couch with the large binder that included her entire life, her new life. Rachel had been born in Santa Fe but grew up in one of the quieter neighborhoods just outside the city. Her father had took off shortly after her birth leaving just her and her mother. Her Mom worked as a secretary at the high school she had attended and had passed away a few years ago. After graduating high school Rachel attended Santa Fe Community College and had taken a job at St. Vincent Regional Medical Center working the admit desk in the emergency room.

She looked up from her studying when Marshal Carson entered the home. He was staying with her for a few more days and in case any neighbors stopped in to introduce themselves the story was that he was her cousin who helped her move and would be sticking around for a few days. "Well Tyler, what's the real world like?"

He took a seat in the chair on the opposite side of the room "I've told you that you can go out if you want. You will have to get used to going out alone."

She leaned her head back and stared at the ceiling "I know, it's just every time I'm about to I get nervous."

He nodded at the notepad next to the phone "Well you'll have to get over that pretty quick. I forgot to tell you that while you were in the shower you had a phone call. That daycare that you applied to, in the Woodburn office building, they called and want to set up an interview."

"I…I don't know. I don't know if I'm ready to go out yet."

"Look it's a good job from the sounds of it. Day time hours, no weekends. And didn't you say you like being around kids?" she nodded. "Well there you go. Give them a call." He then leaned forward in his seat "We don't know how long you'll be with us. Now I'm not trying to sound like a dick but you need to get out there and get on with life. I know it sucks but this is reality now."

While Tyler had annoyed her at times she had to admit she liked him "Whether you meant to or not you do sound like a dick." She smiled then "You're right though. I'll call them as soon as I finish going over my info again."

Later in the evening she was once again reviewing her story for her interview the next day. The thing she had found most difficult was answering to Rachel and not Olivia. She had been Olivia for thirty five years that was not something you could change overnight. Tyler, as well as a few others on their trip to Wisconsin, had repeatedly worked with her but it wasn't without mistakes. She had finally gotten to the point where she could hear Olivia but not look at the person who was saying the name. She was sitting on the bed in her room reciting her name and address in preparation for her interview.

"Hey Rachel?"

"Hmm?"

Tyler broke into a wide smile "You did it."

Rachel cocked her head sideways "Did what?"

"You answered to Rachel right off the bat. You're getting the hang of it."

She smiled but it was a sad smile "I'm trying but its hard being someone you're not."

He stepped into the room "I understand."

Rachel stood from the bed and began looking through the sparsely populated closet "I really hope I get this job I need to get some more clothes."

"What, you don't like the clothes the government provided?" he smirked.

She gave him a thumbs up "My tax dollars hard at work." They had provided her with money for necessities until she got a job. They had provided her with some clothes to get through until then as well, considering the only clothes she owned when she left the hospital were the ones she was wearing. "It's not that I don't appreciate what I've been given but they're just not exactly me."

"You're not Olivia anymore." He said gently.

She sighed as she pulled a blouse and dress pants from the closet "Don't remind me." she then looked into the mirror over the dresser "And why blonde hair?" she asked as she ran her fingers through her now short cropped hair.

"We had to change your appearance. In the event someone followed or anything. I know you find a lot of this annoying and an inconvenience but we are trying to keep you alive."

"And I appreciate that." she sighed. "I'm trying to adjust but it's hard."

"I think the color suits you."

She gave him a withering look "Really? Are you blind? I haven't been a blonde since I was sixteen and I swore that I would never do that again." she leaned in closer to the mirror "I couldn't wash it out fast enough. Plus it's awfully short, I just managed to get it grown out again."

"It's just hair Rachel."

She looked to him and then down to his wedding ring "I certainly hope you don't talk to your wife that way."

He smiled brightly "No ma'am…she can kick my ass."

Rachel burst into laughter "In case you've forgotten I can kick your ass."

He laughed as well "Yeah but I'm only going to be around you for a few more days and then I'm gone. I'm spending the rest of my life with her."

As much as she hated her situation she was grateful she at least had someone who was nice and tried to be understanding to her situation, but at the same time wasn't afraid to call her out. "I'm sure it will be a good life too." She then put her hands on his arm and pushed him out the door "Now I have to go to sleep I have a big day tomorrow. It'll be the first job interview I've done in more years than I care to count."

The following afternoon Rachel pulled into the driveway of her new home. She had been nervous at first about going out alone but slowly began to relax. After her interview she had decided to drive around her neighborhood a bit to familiarize herself. It was nothing like LA that was for sure but she figured there were worse places she could be spending her time.

She walked in and wasn't surprised to see Tyler sitting at the dining room table on the phone while going over paperwork. She held up the grocery bags and smiled as he hung up. "I'm tired of takeout and microwave meals, and I'm sure you are too, so I stopped at the store and I'm going to cook for us."

"You cook?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

"Very little. How does salad and roast chicken sound?"

"Sounds great."

"Good," she nodded "It's the only thing I can make anyway."

After changing and getting dinner started she returned to the dining room table and began looking over some of the papers that were for her.

"So how'd the interview go?"

She smiled but her head was still down. "I got it. Well if my drug test comes back clean I've got it."

"That's great."

"They'll call me back tomorrow or the next day but as of right now I start Monday. The lady who runs the daycare was very nice and I think I'll like it there. She said we have anywhere between thirty and forty kids a day, all ranging in ages from infants to five years old. She said during school holidays and summer vacations that number can increase as well as the age range. The pay is good, not what I made before, but good plus it's got great insurance. Never mind it's Monday thru Friday seven thirty am to five thirty pm and weekends off." she laughed lightly and shook her head "I don't remember what it's like to have a weekend off."

"Maybe you can have a life." he offered.

At that her smile faded "And all it took was losing my life."

On Saturday morning Rachel was cleaning up the kitchen after breakfast while Tyler was preparing to leave. Her drug test had come back clean, as she expected, and she would be starting work at the daycare on Monday. She had spent the last couple days going out and learning more about her new town and neighborhood, as well as going shopping for some new clothes. She had lucked out with getting on at the daycare since they dealt with kids all day and messes were a given she would be allowed to wear jeans and they would provide polo shirts with the daycare's logo on them. She was so lost in her thoughts she didn't hear Tyler approach from the hall.

"Olivia!"

"What?!" she shouted as she jumped and turned to face him.

"Wrong!" he said.

"Damnit!" she said as she realized she had failed another one of his tests.

"I didn't mean to scare you but I had to test you. You've gotten pretty good at not responding to Olivia in a normal conversation but what if someone yells out Olivia on the street? If you are being watched and you respond to Olivia that's it."

"I know. I know."

Three more times that morning before he left Tyler tested her by shouting Olivia. Finally on the third time she didn't respond. As he stood at the door with his bags in hand he reached out and shook hers "You're going to be fine."

"I know." She didn't exactly sound convinced.

"You have all your papers and my number. I will be checking in on you from time to time but if you need me just call. Like I already told you, if you think you've been made call me immediately."

"I will."

He turned and made his way out to his rental car. After backing out of the driveway he rolled the window down and waved "See ya next time Rach!"

She smiled and waved while speaking under her breath "I hate that name."

* * *

Alex groaned as she went through her exercises with her nurse. Her wound from her gunshot was healing nicely and she was now doing physical therapy to regain her strength and mobility. It had been four weeks since the shooting and she was now settled in her new home just outside Madison, Wisconsin. The townhome she was now living in was nice but it wasn't her apartment in Manhattan, it wasn't home. On her way here from New York she had spent a little time in several different locations. She didn't like the stops and starts and only spending a few days at a location before moving again but riding in the SUV wasn't kind to her shoulder. The location they had stayed at in Indiana had been her favorite, it was peaceful and the fresh air had helped her to relax a bit. She wasn't sure how to feel about her new home, at least not yet. She had secretly hoped for a location a little further south, at least she could avoid the snow and cold that New York and the North was famous for. She had a feeling that the winter wouldn't be kind to shoulder.

"Do you think I'm well enough to start work?"

The older woman who was her nurse smiled "I think so. The wound has healed up nicely and your therapy is going well. As long as you're not lifting anything heavy you should be fine."

"I start tomorrow with an insurance agency. It's a desk job and right now it'll just be handling claims and assisting one of the agents. She told me that if everything goes well and I do a good job I will move up to researching fraudulent claims." She secretly hoped that would happen quickly. While she couldn't do anything in the law field she would take what she could get, even if that meant researching fraudulent insurance claims. At least she would be helping put a stop to people who were breaking the law.

"Emily?"

"Emily?"

"Emily!" Marshal Wilson said a little louder.

"Huh?"

Kelly walked over and took a seat facing the other woman. "You've been doing pretty well in responding to your name. What happened?"

She sighed "I wasn't paying attention. I was thinking."

"That's understandable but that won't work every time you don't respond to your name. You're starting work tomorrow."

"I know and I think being called Emily all day by multiple people will help." Emily stood and stretched lightly after finishing her exercises. She walked to the door with the nurse and said their goodbyes. The older woman was staying at a hotel and would be leaving in the next few days. The story for Marshal Wilson was she was a childhood friend who had helped with the move and was staying on to visit for a while. Just before closing the door, and just like she had been doing every time she opened the door, Emily looked around to make sure she wasn't being watched. She had never been a paranoid person and she hated that this had turned her into one.

She returned to the couch and pulled a blanket around her shoulder to ward off the chill. "So what now?"

"Let's go over your info again."

The former blonde, now brunette, sighed as she began to recite the story she'd been studying and reciting for weeks. "My name is Emily Dawson. I'm twenty nine years old, born and raised in Tulsa, Oklahoma and graduated from the University of Oklahoma."

Kelly smiled "Good. Now when people ask try not to stumble over your words but don't rattle them off like you're reciting it."

"Yeah, sure, that should be easy." She grew quiet for a bit and stared out the window "How are my parents?"

The dark haired woman shook her head "I don't know how Mr. and Mrs. Cabot are doing."

"Can you find out from someone? I mean I've been in the justice system long enough to know that cops will check in with a victim's family. I would think the Feds would do the same."

"Emily you know that you are not to seek out anything related to your old life."

At that she slid forward on the couch and stared hard at the other woman "I know that but they are my parents. My name might be Emily Dawson but James and Danielle Cabot are still my parents! Now it's not like I'm asking for a phone call or a visit I just want to know how they are."

Kelly sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, Hammond was right, this one was a pain in the ass. "Okay, no promises but I'll see what I can find out."

"Thank you."

Later that evening Emily was going through her closet looking for what she would wear her first day. She had purchased clothes that were appropriate for an office setting and a few things that would work for trips out, although there hadn't been many of those. She had only been out on her own twice, once for the interview and once to the grocery store. She and Kelly had walked to the park that was a few blocks from her house and while it wasn't Central Park it was a nice little space. She could see herself going there when the weather was nice and sitting on a bench reading a book or having a cup of coffee. As much as she hated to start seeing herself as becoming comfortable in her new town she was slowly admitting that this could be her home for the rest of her life.

While going through her nightly routine she stared into the mirror at how much she had changed in the past month. Her hair was now brown, she'd been a blonde all her life but she didn't look bad as a brunette she thought. She did look tired though and not the tired that she always looked from working long hours. This was a different tired. Her eyes showed the stress and worry she had been under for the last month or so, her skin was paler than the fair complexion she'd always had. She had also lost some weight and it was showing too, her appetite had left the same night she found out about the hit that had been put out on her. Emily picked up the bottle of lotion and began to gingerly rub lotion around her wound. She knew there was going to be a pretty good scar left but she was determined to make it as minimal as possible. She flicked the light off and crossed the room to her bed. She could hear Kelly moving around downstairs and wondered how she was going to handle being on her own again when the Marshal left in a few days. She reached out and turned the lamp down a bit. This was a new habit, sleeping with a light on. She was doing better though she was no longer sleeping with it on as bright as it would go. She hoped that eventually she would be able to sleep with it off.

As Emily lay in bed she listened for sounds of sirens, car horns, or just people out on the street, but that didn't happen here. Her little neighborhood was very quiet and she found it was another thing that affected her sleep. She was used to the sounds of a vibrant city filtering in all hours of the night. She tilted her head and looked at the alarm clock, it was only nine thirty. She decided to go downstairs and get some water then try to go to sleep again.

Kelly was sitting on the couch reviewing some papers when the brunette came down. She looked up and nodded "Alex."

"Hmm?"

"Nope." Kelly replied with a shake of her head.

"Fuck!"

"I know it's hard but you have to stop responding to Alex. As much as you don't want to hear it you are no longer Alex Cabot, you are Emily Dawson." She said following the brunette into the kitchen.

Emily swallowed a couple ibuprofen to ward off the growing headache then turned to go back upstairs. She stopped and looked Kelly in the eye as she passed. "I'm not sure who I am anymore."

The next morning Emily climbed into her used BMW and started toward her new job. To say she was nervous was an understatement and there was more than once that morning she considered calling and quitting before she even started. Then while standing in front of the mirror after her shower she heard her Dad's voice saying she was a Cabot not a quitter. Even though she broke into tears momentarily at the thought of her Dad she knew that she wasn't a quitter. Deep down she was still Alex Cabot and she was going to fight.

It was nearing lunchtime and while she was used to having tons of paperwork Emily was bored out of her mind. Her job mostly consisted processing payments and starting claims. She prayed that she would soon be able to work her way up to investigating fraudulent claims. She looked up when her boss knocked on her door.

"Hey Emily I'm ordering lunch is there anything you would like?"

"No Janet I brought something from home, but thank you."

The red haired woman stepped into the office and took a seat "How's it going so far?"

"Okay. I'm still getting used to everything."

"Well based on how quickly you've gotten through some of this paperwork you're a quick learner." She smiled.

"Thank you."

Emily was just finishing her lunch when Janet knocked on her door again "I'm sorry to bother you but you couldn't possibly do me a favor could you?"

"Sure."

"Could you possibly run my daughter's medicine down to the daycare? I forgot to send it with her and she's due a dose but I have to be on a conference call."

"I'd be glad to, besides I could handle stretching my legs a bit." She took the bottle and started toward the elevator.

Stepping off the elevator onto the fifth floor Emily smiled at the brightly painted walls that led to the daycare. Aside from the couple offices the daycare used and the small kitchen where they prepared the kids meals the daycare took up the rest of the fifth floor allowing the kids plenty of room to play. The sound of laughter met her as she turned the corner and looked through the several glass panels that lined the hall allowing her to see inside. For a brief moment she flashed back to the children she had encountered while working SVU, it was nice to see kids happy and carefree for once.

Emily opened the door, A Place to Grow painted in bright colors across it, and stepped inside. She was lost in her thoughts of watching a little boy and girl pretend to have a tea party when she was aware of someone approaching causing her to startle slightly.

"Can I help you?"

Emily looked to her left to see a blonde haired woman wearing a polo with the daycare's name on it. She had an olive complexion and kind brown eyes. Emily immediately felt herself begin to relax.

"Uh, yes. I'm Emily Dawson I work upstairs at the insurance office. My boss is Janet Greene she asked me to bring her daughter's medicine down for her." she said as she held the bottle out.

The other woman chuckled "Sophie is going to be so excited when I tell her I have her medicine. Like most kids she hates taking medicine."

"Lucky you." she laughed. "I better get back upstairs it's my first day, don't want to make a bad impression."

"I've met Mrs. Greene she's a nice lady, you'll be just fine with her as a boss. I'm new here as well. My name is Rachel."

Emily smiled "Mine's Emily, it's nice to meet you."

Rachel nodded again as she looked into bright blue eyes "It's nice to meet you too." She looked over when she caught sight of Sophie rushing past "Well, I better get moving. I have a three year old to do battle with."

Emily shook her head as she turned to go, 'Don't even think it Emily.' She thought to herself.

As Rachel chased Sophie down she looked through the glass and watched as the brunette made her way down the hall 'Get over it Rachel, a woman like that wouldn't give you a second glance.'


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thanks as always for the reviews. I'm so glad you are enjoying this story! The title of this story is from the song Mess is Mine (no infringement intended). There will be scenes that reference lyrics from the song, so if you have heard it you might recognize them. This chapter is shorter than usual, but there is a method to my madness so bear with me. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 5

Rachel leaned against the kitchen counter staring out the window as she sipped a cup of coffee. She wrapped her arms tighter around herself and snuggled into her gray hoodie. It was so much colder here than what it got in LA. If it was this cold now she couldn't begin to imagine what it was going to be like in the middle of the winter. She was slowly adjusting to her new life but it didn't make things any easier. She also worried about her friends back in California. One of the hardest parts was not looking up anything to do with her old life. She worried about the guys and friends she had made over the years in the department. There wasn't a day that passed that she didn't wonder if they were okay or if she would even be told if something happened to one of them.

While she was exhausted at the end of the day, Rachel had fallen in love with her job. Yes she was tired when she was working as a detective but this was a different tired, a good tired. It did her heart good to be around happy, lively children all day, as opposed to children who had been abused or had their innocence stolen. In all honesty she couldn't remember the last time she had laughed so much, but every day she found herself smiling at the joy 'her kids', as she had taken to calling them, brought her.

Nights however were when the reality of her situation would begin to take over her thoughts. Of course it was much quieter than what LA was and the quiet would often allow her mind to wander. And as much as she hated to admit it she was lonely. No she hadn't been in a committed relationship in LA but it was nice having someone to call and talk to at the end of the day. She had made friends with the other women she worked with at the daycare and they were all very nice. She especially liked the older woman who ran the daycare. Her name was Ina and she was a retired school teacher, and had invited Rachel to have dinner with her and her husband the night before. Rachel had found out from a few of her coworkers that Ina always invited a new employee over for dinner. It was a nice evening and at least for a few hours Rachel didn't feel quite as lonely.

After finishing her coffee Rachel changed into her workout clothes and headed out for a run. Now that she was completely healed from the stabbing she had wanted to get back into a routine of working out. She would hit the gym a few days a week and enjoyed running on the weekends. Even though it was already into November and the air was definitely colder than when she arrived she found that the cold air helped to clear her head. As she reached the corner at the end of her street she debated which way she was going to go. After a second or two she took a right and continued on her way. One thing her experience had taught her was that she chose a different route every time she ran. She also found herself altering her drive home, and she was constantly checking her surroundings.

As she was heading back home she caught the distinct smell of fresh baked bread and pastries. Rachel slowed as she saw the sign for the farmer's market. She had seen advertisements for it in the newspaper but hadn't bothered to check it out. The growl that came from her stomach however convinced her to stop. She purchased a pastry and cup of coffee to snack on as she walked through the booths looking at all the seasonal fruits and vegetables. Realizing that she would be buying a few things she purchased a reusable shopping bag and was grateful she had brought money along with her.

Emily lay in bed that morning and stared out the window. During the week she would get up after pressing the snooze button once and head to work. On the weekends she found she lay in bed and had a hard time getting up. A small voice in the back of her mind kept telling her that she was on the verge of sinking into depression but at the same time she was trying her best to fight against it. The quiet unnerved her the most. Wisconsin was so unlike New York in that the nights were so quiet. She was however growing more accustomed to her new home. It wasn't as crowded and the people did seem a little nicer than those in New York, and while she couldn't put her finger on it something about her new home made her feel safer. It still didn't mean that she wasn't paranoid or even scared. Emily still caught herself randomly looking out the window, turning to see if she was being followed or startling easily.

Emily slowly climbed from bed and made her way downstairs. She looked out the window of her kitchen and smiled slightly at the sun as it slowly began peeking through the curtains. While part of her wanted to pull the curtains and stay inside until Monday morning that small, nagging voice told her she should go out for a bit. She made herself a cup of tea and sat down with the paper, looking to see if anything caught her attention. Twenty minutes later she was dressed in jeans, a blue sweater, jacket and black boots, and heading out the door.

Emily parked her car and walked into the farmer's market. It was something she had often done in New York on Sunday mornings and she thought that it could be something to help her relax a bit. As she made her way through she found herself slowly beginning to relax. It was a little after eight am and while it was crowded it wasn't enough to make her nervous. She was a little surprised when she ran into an older gentleman who had been into the insurance office where she worked earlier in the week. She stood and talked to him for a few minutes and found that something as simple as talking to a kind, elderly man on a Saturday morning made her feel more relaxed than she had since her ordeal began.

Emily was just standing at a booth that sold homemade jams and jellies when movement from across the aisle caught her attention. The woman was wearing charcoal gray spandex pants, blue jacket and a blue baseball cap. Emily caught herself smiling as she watched the woman move around, _'not bad, not bad at all'_ she thought to herself. She found herself wishing the woman would turn around so she could see what she looked like. The other woman slowly began to turn around and was looking down as she put a small bag of apples into her shopping bag. Emily's jaw dropped when she realized she had been staring at the blonde who worked in the daycare in her office building. _'Oh what is her name?' _She thought to herself._ It starts with an R doesn't it? Rachel! That's it, her name is Rachel.' _Emily continued to watch as Rachel turned and began walking to the next booth. She froze though when Rachel suddenly turned and looked in her direction. She quickly turned her back to the blonde and prayed she hadn't been caught.

As Rachel walked away from the booth her cop instinct was kicking in and she had the feeling she was being watched. It was a very unnerving feeling and she felt a tingle run down her spine. Deciding a casual look around to check her surroundings couldn't hurt, she slowly turned and looked up and down the aisle then across to the next one. Not seeing anything out of the ordinary or anyone that appeared to be paying her any special attention she took a deep breath and reminded herself to calm down.

Rachel made her way back toward the entrance of the market and stopped at the booth where she had bought the pastry to buy a few more and some bread. While talking to the woman who owned the stand she caught sight of a familiar looking woman making her way up the opposite aisle. Her eyes followed the brunette and quickly realized it was Emily who worked in the same building she did. After meeting for the first time a few weeks before Rachel had caught herself hoping they would have the chance to speak again. She discretely kept her eyes on the brunette for a few more minutes before turning and walking out the door.

Once she arrived home Rachel put away her purchases and changed clothes before settling on the couch and picked up one of the novels she had purchased at the local bookstore a few days prior. She sighed as she settled in for another day at home alone.

After leaving the farmers market Emily had to fight the urge to rush home and stay there. She decided to drive around a bit and make a trip to the grocery store. Her day had gone well until she went into the store. It was crowded and the longer she was in the store the more uncomfortable she became, the final straw coming when a man accidentally bumped into her right shoulder while in the checkout line. It still hurt from time to time and the sudden jolt caused a sharp pain. Emily did her best to remain calm and she managed to nod and tell him it was okay as the man profusely apologized. By the time she made it to the car though she was on the verge of a breakdown. She sat in the car and took deep, steadying breaths as she tried to stop shaking. She silently wondered if she would ever get past this feeling. Once home and everything put away Emily found herself going through the house and pulling the curtains. Once she was sure the door was locked she laid down on the sofa and pulled a blanket over her, insulating herself from the rest of the world.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you all for your kind reviews and continued support. It means a lot. This is a long chapter but I think you will like it. As I've said before I own nothing but my own characters, no infringement intended. Again a big thank you to Little Miss Nicap for having the idea for this story and trusting me to write it. She has helped with ideas along the way but at the same time she's in the dark just as much as everyone else. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 6

"It should be illegal to be this cold." Rachel muttered as she stood in line for a cup of coffee at the food cart outside her office building. It was one small way of holding onto her old life. In LA there was always a food cart or truck selling something, and she always found herself gravitating toward one at some point in her day. After paying she thanked the man and wrapped both hands around her drink trying to soak up its warmth. It was the day before Thanksgiving and since the offices in the building would be closed for the holiday as well as the day after it meant the daycare would be closed as well. While Rachel was looking forward to her four day weekend she also found herself dreading what she would do with those four days. She had never shopped the day after Thanksgiving sales and had no desire to start. Besides, who would she shop for anyway? Even if something had caught her eye that she would like to have it wasn't worth the hassle of fighting the crowds.

Rachel walked into the building and breathed a sigh of relief at the warmth she felt. She stood in the lobby and waited to board one of the elevators. It was a little past seven-thirty am and the crowd of people coming in was picking up. While the daycare's hours were seven to five their hours varied, some days she worked seven to four and other days it was eight to five. Today was her eight to five shift but like she had as a detective she always arrived early. She loved being around the kids, and while she was usually exhausted at the end of the day she loved what she was doing. Of course there were fights and temper tantrums thrown multiple times throughout the day but Rachel found that she was able to handle them without losing her own cool. When she started she thought that if she could chase a perp down the street, or handle a drunk, or disarm a man bigger than her and handcuff him how hard could kids be? She quickly found out that a three year old throwing a tantrum was right up there with some of the people she had handled in her life as a cop. Never mind the four year old she had put in timeout the week before for not wanting to share, she had received kinder looks in an interrogation room than she had from that little boy.

Emily slowly climbed from her car and began making her way up the sidewalk toward the building. She glanced over at the food cart and considered buying a bagel or doughnut but decided against it. She really didn't eat much these days and she figured her yogurt and banana would hold her over till lunch. As she listened to people making talking about their plans for the holiday she had to bite back tears that she wouldn't be spending it with her family. Over the last few days Emily had found herself thinking about her parents who were about to spend their first holiday without their daughter. Just the evening before she had stopped at the store to get something for dinner and her heart ached as she watched a mother and daughter, they were about hers and her mother's age, as they talked about Thanksgiving dinner and what they were going to make. Emily went home, forgot all about dinner, and climbed into bed…staying there till this morning. It was hard enough for her but she couldn't begin to imagine what her parents were feeling. Holidays were always a big deal in the Cabot family but she had a feeling this year would be a much more somber occasion. She just hoped they would go on with dinner and try to have a good day.

As Emily stepped onto the elevator she found herself quickly scanning the small group but it was the same crowd she saw every day. She stepped back and leaned against the wall, near the door, and waited for the doors to close.

Rachel was looking down and unzipping her coat when she was aware of someone stepping next to her. She looked up and realized it was Emily standing next to her. It was the first time they had been this close since the day they met and the first time she had seen the brunette since that day at the market over a week ago. She turned back but continued to discretely study the woman next to her from the corner of her eye. She had noticed Emily had blue eyes the day they met, she loved blue eyes, but today they were more gray and stormy. She wanted to ask if she was okay but didn't think that would be appropriate considering they had only met once. She worked up her nerve and decided a 'hello' wouldn't be to forward.

"Good morning."

Emily turned to her left and smiled when she saw the blonde woman next to her "Good morning." Both remembering seeing one another at the market but neither willing to admit to it.

Rachel suddenly unable to think of what to say settled on neutral, safe topics "Cold this morning, isn't it?"

Emily began to relax but wasn't sure why "Yeah it is. Although I've been colder places." Mentally she kicked herself, hoping no one would realize she was thinking about some of the New York winters she had experienced.

When the elevator stopped on the floor for the daycare Rachel caught herself wishing they had at least another floor or two. "Well, this is my stop." She smiled "Have a good day."

Emily leaned back to allow her room to pass and returned the smile "You too."

They were just cleaning up from the mid-morning snack when Rachel was aware of Ina standing next to her. The blonde turned and smiled at the older woman "What?"

"Are you sure you weren't a teacher or child care provider in a past life?"

Rachel swallowed her words, wanting to tell her boss her past life was as far from teacher and child care provider as you could get. She chuckled and shook her head "I promise I wasn't, but if that was a compliment I'll take it."

Ina laughed and pat Rachel on the arm "It's definitely a compliment. You have such a way with them. Did you ever consider being a teacher?"

Rachel looked at her boss, she was in her late fifties with blonde hair that was slowly beginning to gray a bit. Ina was thin and her eyes were a blue gray, Rachel couldn't shake the feeling that something about her reminded her of her Mom…or at least how Serena could've been had she not been raped. The only comfort Rachel had throughout this entire ordeal was her boss, she was already coming to think of the other woman as a mother-like figure. "Me? A teacher?" the blonde laughed "No, I can honestly say I've never considered being a teacher."

"Well," Ina said as she wrapped an arm around the younger woman's shoulders "Maybe in another life."

Rachel kept her head down as the words echoed. How many more 'life's' was she going to live?

"I know you're alone here and I wanted to invite you to have Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow with my husband and me."

Rachel smiled at the invitation, then tried to remember the last time she had dinner on Thanksgiving. Usually she would work that day so officers, and later detectives, could spend the day with their families. Depending on how the day went she would sometimes have dinner with Elliot and his family but it wasn't guaranteed. "I appreciate the invite but I'll be fine at home."

Ina turned and gave Rachel the same stare she used on students "Now I'm not going to have you sitting at home alone eating some frozen turkey dinner and watching whatever movie is on television." She stepped over and took Rachel's left hand in hers "Now dinner is at four but feel free to show up any time you like. It'll just be me and my husband, our son and his fiancée, and her daughter. Unfortunately our daughter is spending Thanksgiving with her husband's family this year."

Rachel grinned knowing she wasn't going to get out of it, and if she was being honest with herself she didn't want to get out of it. "Okay, I'll be there. Is there anything I can bring?"

"Your appetite." Ina said with a smile before walking away.

Emily began clearing her desk and gathering her purse to leave for the long weekend. She was getting better at going out and not having a panic attack but they still happened from time to time. In all honesty though she was looking forward to staying in for a few days and not having to be around anyone.

"Emily? Do you have a minute?"

The brunette looked up at her boss and nodded "Sure Janet, come on in."

"So what are your plans for the weekend?"

"Nothing much really. Just a few quiet days at home, maybe read a book or watch a few movies." she said with a smile. All the while saying to herself _'stay in and avoid people, sleep, sleep some more'._

"Well I have a better idea. Why don't you come have dinner with me and my family?" Janet asked.

"Oh no, I couldn't impose." Emily said while shaking her head.

"Of course you can." Janet grinned. "It'll just be my husband, myself, the kids and my mother in law. And before you ask, yes I like my mother in law so no worrying about a contentious dinner."

Emily sighed. She didn't want to seem ungrateful and she did want to get along well with her boss so she plastered on a smile "Only if you're sure." Janet nodded "Then I accept."

"Great!" Janet said as she clapped her hands together and stood. She grabbed a post-it off Emily's desk and wrote down her address and handed it to the brunette. "We usually eat at two but feel free to come by anytime you want. My husband will be piled up watching one of the games and the kids will hopefully be in the other room watching a movie and not in the kitchen."

Emily chuckled "Thank you for inviting me. I'll come over around twelve or one so I can help out."

Janet turned back as she left the office "Well at least you'll have time to watch the Macy's parade."

Emily winced slightly at the mention of the parade but hoped she had hid it. "I might just do that."

The following afternoon Rachel parked her black Grand Cherokee in Ina's driveway and slowly made her way up to the door. After being assured by Ina that her family did not dress up for dinner she decided on her best pair of dark jeans, black boots and a purple sweater. Rachel had barely raised her hand to ring the doorbell when Ina was opening the door and pulling her in for a hug.

"Oh, I'm so glad you came!" the older woman said as she pulled the blonde into the house.

"Thanks for inviting me." Rachel said as she held out a plate "I'm not much of a cook but I can make cookies. I hope chocolate chip are okay."

"They're perfect. My soon to be step-granddaughter is five and I happen to know she loves chocolate chip cookies."

After being pulled inside and introduced to her boss's family Rachel found herself sitting on the sofa watching one of the many football games that was on that afternoon. When dinner was served, although she had spent Thanksgiving with friends over the years, she found herself feeling more at home here than she had with any of her friends. They laughed and talked, Rachel telling as much of her life story as she was comfortable with. Even though Ina told her not to worry about it Rachel insisted on helping clean up. She and Amy, Ina's soon to be daughter-in-law, did all the cleaning up from dinner before joining everyone in the den for a movie. When she finally arrived home that night Rachel was exhausted, she also brought home enough left overs that she wouldn't have to worry about cooking anything for a few days. She barely managed to change clothes before falling into bed and collapsing into a post-Thanksgiving turkey coma.

When Emily arrived home from her dinner she found she actually enjoyed herself that day. For the first time in a while she had been happy. Her boss's family had been incredibly kind and welcoming. She had met Sophie on several occasions and the little girl had been so excited to see her. Sophie had insisted she come upstairs to her room and see her dolls and doll house. Janet's five year old son David had also been quite taken with the brunette. He insisted she sit next to him at dinner and afterwards he wanted her to see his awards from soccer and hockey. Janet had been right, her mother-in-law was very kind, but Emily found that the woman reminded her of a slightly older version of her mother. She found it hard to keep her emotions in check at times. That night, after putting away the leftovers she was sent home with and settling into bed, was when the emotions finally took over. Memories of holidays with her family began flooding her mind as the tears flowed. Her heart broke for her parents and how they must be feeling. If Thanksgiving was this hard for her she couldn't imagine how hard Christmas was going to be. She then remembered how much both her parents loved Christmas and how it must kill them to know they would soon be celebrating their favorite holiday without their only child. With that thought she rolled over and pulled the blankets over her head, and like she had most nights since entering the program…she cried herself to sleep.

Friday was quiet for both ladies since neither were into the day after Thanksgiving sales. Rachel was content to finish up the latest book she was reading then watching a few of the movies that were on that day. That evening she reheated some leftovers for dinner and watched the evening news while she ate. She shook her head as she watched the coverage from the morning's sales, people pushing and fighting one another. "All for a TV or some cheap bed sheets." She quickly had to cover her mouth to keep from spitting out her drink as it showed to women throwing punches over a gaming system "Ooh!" then laughing as two cops broke it up and drug them away "Glad I never had to cover those sales."

Emily on the other hand spent most of her day in silence. She had planned to go out for a walk but the air was so cold she decided it would be best to stay in. Earlier in the week she had stopped at the library and she attempted to read on of the books she had picked out but found she didn't really have any interest. She had loved reading since she was a child but once she started law school and then later working for the DA's office she rarely had time to read for pleasure. By late that evening she was sitting in her living room staring at the television and was surprised to realize the evening news was just ending. She had spent the entire day laying on the couch wrapped in a blanket. The only thing making her feel alive at the moment was the growling coming from her stomach. It was then that she realized she hadn't eaten yet that day. After heating up a few leftovers she sat on the couch and slowly ate her dinner. "You've got to snap out of this." she said out loud. Emily knew she was sinking further and further into depression and if she didn't soon do something she wouldn't be able to pull herself out of it.

After finishing her dinner she picked up the newspaper and slowly read through it. When she turned to the last page an ad caught her attention. She glanced at it quickly then read over it again. She tossed the paper onto the coffee table and headed to the bathroom for a long soak in the tub.

Saturday night Emily stood in front of the mirror in her bedroom and looked over her outfit. She was wearing a cream colored sweater, dark jeans and knee high black boots. It was the first time she had dressed up to go out in months. While there was a part of her that was screaming to change back into sweats and stay in that small nagging voice told her she needed to get out, even if it was just for a couple hours. As she drove toward her destination Emily prayed she wasn't about to make a mistake.

Less than a mile away Rachel reached into her closet for the final piece of her outfit. She inhaled the scent of the leather jacket as she slipped it on. A smile crossing her face as she did so. She had fallen in love with leather jackets as a teen, a rare 'just because' gift from her mom in one of her sober moments. She did a once over in the mirror checking her reflection, she was wearing black boots, dark jeans and a teal-green blouse that was unbuttoned just low enough, her black leather jacket completing the look. "It's about time you got out and had a little fun." She said to her reflection.

After a short drive Rachel parked her SUV and walked up to the bar. She looked up at the sign and chuckled at the name 'Hot Legs'. _'Well,'_ she said to herself _'I've been in places with far worse names'._

Emily sat at the bar slowly sipping her Margarita. She had been tempted to order a Manhattan for sentimental reasons but decided against it, one it was a connection to Alex and two she never cared for the drink. The atmosphere in the bar was a decent balance, it wasn't too noisy or crowded but there was a fun atmosphere. She was surprised it wasn't more crowded on a Saturday night but it was just a little before eight pm and she was sure it would pick up as the evening went on. There had been a few ladies to say hello or try to catch her eye but she really wasn't interested in company. All Emily wanted was to have a drink or two, try and feel comfortable in a crowd of strangers, then run to the safety that was her home.

Rachel took seat at the end of the bar and ordered a Jack and Coke when the bartender asked what she'd have. She wasn't a huge whiskey fan but she didn't plan on having more than one drink so if she sipped it slowly it would last her a while. Vodka was the one drink she swore off…well that and Gin. Vodka had been her mom's go to drink with Gin coming a close second. Of course wine was also a popular choice but it was only if she discovered she was out of the others. As she took her first sip of her drink she casually looked around the bar. Not overly crowded, there were quite a few on the dance floor. She noticed a couple making out in one of the corner booths. It was something she had never understood, if she was going to make out with someone it certainly wasn't going to be in a room full of strangers. She noticed a red head trying, and failing, to discretely watch her. Rachel felt her heart rate increase for a brief moment but then she reminded herself she was in a bar, it was normal to get stared at. She quickly turned in the opposite direction hoping the other woman wouldn't approach her. When she turned though she caught sight of a familiar profile almost at the other end of the bar. She had seen Emily enough to recognize that jaw line anywhere. _'What's the worst that could happen?'_ she thought as she stood from her seat and walked to the other end.

Emily became aware of someone standing next to her and as she willed her pounding heart to calm down she also began formulating an excuse in her mind to tell whoever it was that she didn't want the company. She was surprised though when she looked up and saw a familiar face.

"Is this seat taken?" Rachel asked as she nodded toward the empty bar stool to Emily's right.

"Um…uh…no…no, it's not taken." She said as she tried to figure out why she had suddenly become so tongue tied.

"Do…you mind if I sit down?" Rachel asked, slightly hesitant.

"No, no, not at all." Emily replied with a smile.

Both sat there in silence for a few minutes trying to figure out what to say. Emily wondering why Rachel would want to talk to her anyway, and Rachel wishing she had thought about what to say before she walked over. "So, uh, do you come here often?" Rachel started.

"No, this is the first time." Emily took a sip from her drink before looking back at the blonde. Once again she felt her body begin to relax. It wasn't the first time she had felt that way in Rachel's presence and she wondered why that was. "You?"

Rachel grinned "First time as well." she looked into Emily's blue eyes, God she really did love blue eyes. Rachel quickly reminded herself this was just a friendly chat with someone she'd met at work. She wasn't here to pick anyone up. "Did you have a nice Thanksgiving?"

"I spent it with my boss." Then realizing how it sounded she chuckled as she corrected herself "It was a very nice dinner. Janet invited me over to have dinner with her family and her mother-in-law. I ate way too much." In all honesty she really hadn't eaten nearly as much as she had at Thanksgiving dinners in the past but since she had hardly been eating for the last few weeks it didn't take much for her to be full. "Did you have a good day?"

"I had dinner with my boss." Rachel said in the same tone earing a laugh from both. "No really, I had dinner with my boss, her husband, her son and soon to be daughter-in-law and her daughter. Like you I ate way too much so I think I'm gonna have to hit the gym a little harder this week."

They made small talk for a bit over how Rachel was going to join a gym since it was getting to cold to run and Emily talked of how she used to like running but hadn't done so in a while. Both noticed the growing noise level as more people began streaming in but tried to talk over it.

Rachel looked around at the growing crowd "It's going to get crazy in her soon and I'm getting a little hungry. Would you care to go to that diner across the street and get a bite?"

Emily got nervous for a moment, could this be a set up? Could Rachel actually work for the cartel and be leading her into a trap? When she looked back into those warm brown eyes she saw nothing but kindness reflecting back and the relaxing feeling from earlier began to come over her. _'You really need to get a grip Emily. Not everyone is out to kill you.'_ she pulled a few bills from her purse and paid for her drink "You know, I'm getting a little hungry myself."

As they entered the Greek diner both were worried they wouldn't find a seat but luckily it wasn't too crowded. They were seated in a corner booth with Emily facing the door. Rachel would've preferred to be facing the door but when Emily sat down she didn't argue. Neither was eager to have too much alcohol and slip up and spill a secret so they settled on water and tea. Emily ordering a Greek salad and Rachel ordering spanakopita and a Greek salad.

"So is it always this cold this early?" Rachel asked after the waitress left.

"I'm sorry?"

"The weather. It's absolutely freezing and it's not even December yet. Is it always this cold?"

Emily had been careful to only reveal what was necessary about herself so far, but Rachel seemed so nice. She heard that nagging little voice start up again and remind her that she had decided she wasn't going to sink into a depression. Maybe she could at least have a friend to talk to. "I don't really know, I just moved here not too long ago."

"Really?" Rachel looked up with a hint of surprise behind her smile _'It's just a coincidence.' _"I just moved here too."

"How…how long ago?" Emily wrapped her hands around her cup to stop them from shaking.

Rachel pretended to think but she knew exactly how long she had been there "A little over six weeks I guess." She looked up then smiled back at the brunette "Yeah that sounds about right. It was the beginning of October."

Emily breathed a sigh of relief, Rachel had made it there before her. Not by much but she was there before her. "I moved here not long after I guess. Early October." Feeling herself relax into the conversation Emily decided to continue "So what brought you to Madison?"

Rachel took a deep breath and recalled the info that she had drilled into her head "My Mom died." She saw the look of concern on Emily's face "It's been a while, about a year ago. I just decided there wasn't anything left for me in New Mexico so I decided a change of scenery might be good."

Emily nodded and becoming interested prodded further "What made you choose Madison though?"

"After my Mom died a friend of mine invited me on a road trip. She had been to Wisconsin before and it was summer so we drove up here for a few days. When I decided to move I remembered how nice the area was so I decided to move up here."

"Well it is a big change from New Mexico I guess." Emily mused.

They stopped talking as the waitress returned with their food. The silence remained as they began eating except for little comments on how good their meal was. Seeing that Emily was nearly finished with her salad Rachel spoke up "So where did you live before here?"

"Born and raised in Tulsa, Oklahoma." She'd repeated it to herself so many times that she almost believed she really was from Oklahoma.

"A Sooner huh?" Rachel said with a smile.

Emily was grateful that the Marshals had gotten everything down to the last detail, including college football "University of Oklahoma. My alma mater. I guess you're a football fan?" Emily silently prayed that Rachel didn't ask any football questions, she really didn't know that much about the sport.

"A little. I used to watch games from time to time with friends, and of course the Super Bowl. How did you end up here though?"

Emily looked down for a minute as she debated whether or not she wanted to go into the whole story. She felt a few tears sting her eyes as she did so.

"Hey you don't have to tell me if you don't want to." Rachel said as she could see the brunette struggling.

"No, no it's okay. I mean there's part of the story I don't really like to talk about but I can tell you the rest. I…something happened to me and after I recovered I decided I wanted out."

Rachel's cop instincts kicked in but she pushed them down and instead listened intently to what the woman across from her was saying.

"My Mom was dead," More tears tried to fight their way to the surface but she suppressed them "And my Dad I really don't speak to one another." Again more tears and this time she allowed a few to escape. She loved her parents dearly and it killed her to say the things she just had.

"You don't have too." Rachel said as she placed a comforting hand on Emily's.

"It's okay." She smiled sadly. "I started looking for jobs online and I sent my resume out to a few places and I got a call back from the insurance agency. I figured it would be a nice change so I packed up what little I had and here I am." Both were quiet for a minute while Emily tried to wipe the few tears that had escaped. She then chuckled "I'm sorry, this is horrible dinner conversation."

Rachel laughed as well "Its okay, I promise. I haven't really made any friends yet so I'm just glad to have someone to talk too. I mean I love Ina but she's older and more of a mother like figure so this is just fine with me."

"I'm not the only one who has been on their own then either, huh? That's good to know."

They made small talk for a little while longer until Emily looked at her watch and both realized how late it had gotten. After paying for their dinner they bundled up and walked out into the cold air. Rachel inhaling a sharp breath as the air it her in the face while Emily only shivered. She was used to the cold from the New York winters but it never got this cold this early into the winter months.

Rachel turned and faced the brunette "So…do you need a lift home?"

"No." she said quickly then recovered "No, thank you. I drove so I'm okay." Then returning the offer "How about you?"

"I drove as well. I'm not far anyway."

Both stood there wanting to say something else but not sure what. Emily looked over at the bar and shook her head at the crowd and the music that could be heard thumping from inside "I'm kinda glad we left when we did."

"Me too." She turned back and smiled "Well, I guess I'll get going."

"Yeah I should too."

"Um…do you think you could give me a call when you get home? Just so I know you made it safely?" Rachel blushed slightly and she had no idea why.

"Uh, yeah, okay." Emily said hesitantly.

Rachel reached into her handbag and pulled out a piece of paper and pen and quickly wrote her home number down. "I'm not trying to be weird it's just I worry." Seeing the confused look on the younger woman's face she corrected "We're women and we're out alone at night. I just want to make sure you get home safely."

At that Emily smiled, it had been a long time since someone other than her parents worried about her like this. She took the paper and slipped it into her pocket "I'll call you when I get there."

"Okay. Have a good night then." Rachel said as she started to walk away.

"You too." Emily turned and started in the opposite direction toward her car.

Both felt better than they had in ages. Maybe this was just what they both needed, a friend whom they could talk too and feel comfortable with. When Rachel arrived home she found herself getting excited at the thought of talking to the brunette again. She needed a friend and she was hoping that Emily felt the same way.

When the phone rang Rachel waited a second before answering "Hello?"

"Hey it's Emily. I just made it home."

"I'm glad. Thanks for calling."

"You're welcome. Thanks for being concerned." She waited a second "Well, I guess I'll see you Monday morning."

"I'll see you Monday morning"


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Wow! Here we are at the beginning of chapter 7 and this story already has 51 reviews! Thank you all so much for your support! Thank you to those who continue to favorite and follow as well. I guess it's time to see what our ladies are up too. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 7

Like they had hoped both ladies bumped into one another on Monday morning at the food cart. Rachel ordering a coffee while Emily settled on tea. They talked about how they spent Sunday, Rachel grocery shopping and cleaning up around the house while Emily did a little housework and finished her book. She left out the part that she had spent most of the day excited that she might finally have a friend. They made small talk on the elevator and planned to meet up to walk to their cars that evening if they left work at the same time.

Tuesday morning was much the same only this time Rachel was able to convince Emily to order a bagel with her cup of tea. Even though it was only their second morning of meeting before work both were enjoying their time together. Rachel found that with each passing day there was something about the brunette drawing her in. Emily was so warm and kind, and while she was a bit hesitant, even withdrawn at times, Rachel found herself wanting to get to know the person underneath. For Emily she felt more relaxed than she had in a while when in Rachel's presence. Something about the blonde made her feel safe and calm.

Wednesday morning both arrived slightly earlier just to have a little more time with one another. Rachel ordered her coffee and stepped aside for Emily to place hers. "I'll have an English Breakfast Tea and a bagel with cream cheese."

"Ooh, cream cheese!" Rachel teased "Moving up in the world. By next week I'll have you eating a farmhouse breakfast!"

Emily shook her head "I wouldn't go that far." They walked toward the building as she ate "It's just…since I moved here I haven't had much of an appetite but it's slowly coming back."

"I was that way at first too. It's always a little intimidating being in a new place." Little did she know they were both nervous about their new homes for the same reason. In all honesty Rachel was a little surprised she was still living here. When she entered she knew there was a chance she would be here for a while, but at the same time part of her thought they would've eliminated the threat against her. She sighed as they entered the building, with each passing day she was slowly accepting that this was her new reality. It was also one of the reasons she was glad to have met Emily. Knowing this was probably her life from now on it would at least be easier if she had a friend. At the same time she was also realizing what she felt toward Emily was more than friendship, and it scared her. Granted it wasn't love but she did feel an attraction toward her and wanted to get to know her even more. She suddenly realized she had spaced out while Emily was speaking and the brunette was now looking quizzically at her "I'm sorry?"

Emily chuckled at the dazed look on the blonde's face "I wondered where you went. I was asking if you had any plans for this evening."

"No plans, as usual." She grinned.

"I saw an advertisement for an art gallery that's showcasing the work of a young photographer." She then looked down "I know it sounds boring but it just caught my eye and I really didn't want to go alone." she hated to sound so pathetic but she felt so calm and relaxed around Rachel that she thought the blonde might make her more comfortable in a crowd.

"I think it sounds like a great idea." She laughed when Emily gave her a surprised look. "I like art, I mean I'm not too crazy about some of that abstract stuff but I do enjoy it. What time do you want to go?"

They boarded the elevator before Emily continued "It starts at six but I was thinking six-thirty or seven? It would give us time to go home and change." In no time the elevator stopped at Rachel's floor and the blonde moved to exit. "I'll meet you in the lobby this evening and give you the address."

"I'll see you this evening."

That evening as Emily waited outside the Weston Art Gallery she shivered in the cold wind. She had only just arrived but part of her was wishing she had waited in the car a few more minutes. She stuffed her gloved hands into the pockets of her black pea coat and hoped Rachel wouldn't be much longer.

Rachel rushed down the street wishing she had left home sooner. She told Emily she would meet her at six-thirty and it was now six-twenty-five, she hated to be late for anything. It was something her mother had instilled in her as a child, in one of her few 'mothering' moments, and it was reinforced at the academy. "I hope you haven't been waiting long." She said as she stopped next to the brunette.

Emily turned and smiled "Just a couple minutes." She nodded toward the door. "Come on, it's freezing out here."

Once inside they shed their coats and took a moment to admire one another's outfits. Both had been afraid they would overdress for the evening but at the same time they didn't want to underdress either. Emily had settled on a pair of black heels, black slacks with a white blouse and an off white button down sweater. When she saw the sweater in the store not only did it look like it would be warm, but it also reminded her of one her mother had bought on a trip to Ireland for her.

"You look really nice." Rachel said as she took a moment to take in her friend's outfit.

"Thank you." Emily replied as she looked at the blonde. "So do you." Rachel was wearing a maroon top with a deep V-neck and dark gray pants, black boots and a black blazer.

"Thanks. I wasn't sure how dressy or not dressy this would be. It looks okay though?" She felt as if she was dressing for court as she got ready since this was an outfit she would've worn when she had to spend the day in court.

"You look very nice." Emily said before turning and starting into the gallery.

They wandered around the gallery each enjoying a glass of champagne and a few appetizers. The gallery was showcasing photographs of rural Wisconsin life. Both stopped to congratulate the young photographer and congratulate him on his success. As they stepped onto the sidewalk Rachel gasped as the cold air took her breath away.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded "Just still not used to this cold air yet. I can't believe you're handling it so well. I didn't think it got cold in Oklahoma?"

Emily was about to stumble over her words but took a calming breath "I used to go to the Rockies and visit family. It could get really cold there." Rachel nodded and Emily breathed a sigh of relief at how easily her lie was received. "I guess I'll see you in the morning?"

Rachel gave her sad smile "No, I have to be in at seven. I was thinking we could go for a cup of coffee after you get off though."

"I'd like that but that means you'd have to wait around for an hour after you get off."

"I have a few errands to run anyway. I could do that and then we could meet up. What about that coffee shop around the corner from work?"

"Next to the bookstore?" Rachel nodded "Sounds like a plan. Maybe we could have a look through the bookstore too."

"Great. I'll see you tomorrow afternoon then." Rachel said as they went their separate ways.

Rachel was already sitting at a window table in the coffee shop when she saw Emily approach. Both women had been surprised at how much they missed their shared morning. They didn't always get to leave work at the same time but occasionally they did and both liked hearing how the others day had went. Emily especially enjoyed hearing about the antics of some of the kids. "Hey! How was your day?" Rachel asked as Emily took a seat across from her.

"Same old, same old." She chuckled before taking a sip of her coffee "How was your day?"

"Well it was pretty good until lunch. I should know by now if everything goes good in the morning it'll go downhill after lunch." she took a sip of coffee and leaned back in her chair "I put three in timeout for fighting, two girls and a boy." Emily began laughing and Rachel shook her head "Here's the kicker the girls were fighting each other and Matt tried to break it up, mind you the girls are four and he is three, he told them to not fight and they lit into him!" none of the kids involved had been hurt aside from feelings, and a few red marks on each girl.

"Why did he get put in timeout if he tried to break it up?"

"He fought back. I hated to do it but I had too. I mean I don't want to see anyone fighting but I'm glad that kids are willing to stand up for themselves. After it was over I had to explain why fighting isn't how they should solve their problems. Thank goodness I won't have to be the one to explain it to their mothers." She shook her head and chuckled "Poor Ina."

"Well that doesn't sound too bad as far as days go."

"Oh it gets better. After nap time Tanner woke up with an upset stomach and proceeded to vomit everywhere…apparently the fish sticks we had for lunch didn't exactly agree with him. In addition to that Josie woke up with a cold and running a fever so I had to call her Mom to come pick her up."

Emily shook her head "Well, at least he didn't vomit on you."

Rachel held her coffee cup up and nodded "The silver lining."

After talking for a bit they decided to go next door to the bookstore before it closed. It was a small shop, had been there since the 50's according to the sign, and the older woman who ran it stepped from behind the counter to greet them. They wandered up and down the aisles pointing out books they'd read, ones they liked and disliked. Both found a novel that looked interesting and decided to buy and read it together, it would be one more thing they could discuss.

Since Rachel had parked her car close by she offered to give Emily a ride back to where she had parked that morning. It was also another excuse to spend a few more minutes with the brunette. While running her errands that afternoon Rachel had decided that she was going to bite the bullet and ask Emily on a date. She knew she could be making a massive mistake but if she was honest with herself she wanted a date with the brunette. If Emily turned her down she would be upset but she would accept it and hope that they could at least remain friends.

Rachel was a little grateful for the evening traffic meaning it gave her a few more minutes to work up her nerve. Her thought process was broken though when Emily spoke "What time do you have to go in tomorrow?"

"Uh, I go in at eight tomorrow."

Emily turned and smiled "So that means we get have coffee in the morning!" she surprised herself at how excited she was at the thought.

Rachel grinned "I guess so." She grew quiet for a minute trying to gather her nerve to ask the brunette out.

Emily noticed her friend's silence and was becoming concerned "Rachel? Are you okay?"

"Hmm?" then gathering her nerve "I um…I wanted to know…"

"Know what?" she asked kindly.

Rachel looked into those bright blue eyes and lost all nerve "I wanted to know if maybe you would want to do something this weekend? Maybe go shopping or something." _'Chicken.'_ She said to herself.

"I do love to shop." Emily said with a smile causing Rachel to smile. "How about we plan something tomorrow."

"I'll see you in the morning then."

Friday morning Emily got in line at the food cart and was surprised she hadn't seen Rachel yet, usually the blonde got there just as she did or even before. She ordered her tea and bagel and stepped off to the side to wait. She finally gave up and went inside to warm up and wait to see if Rachel showed up. She had wrote Rachel's number down and put it in her purse in case she found herself in need of help she knew she could rely on her friend. She considered calling her in case she had overslept but decided against it. Knowing she couldn't wait any longer she boarded the elevator and headed to her office.

By lunch Emily's imagination had gotten the best of her and she decided to go down to the daycare and find out why Rachel missed their morning coffee. When she opened the door to the daycare she was greeted by Ina whom she had been introduced to by Rachel one evening on the elevator. "Hello Emily."

"Hi Ina. Is Rachel here?"

The older woman shook her head "No poor thing called in today. She must have picked up a cold from one of the kids." she smiled kindly "One of the hazards of being around kids all day."

Emily chuckled "I guess so."

"Is there something I can do for you?"

"No, I was just wanting to check on her. We've been meeting in the morning for coffee this week and when she didn't show up I was a little worried."

"Well I'm glad she has a friend like you then."

Emily said goodbye then headed back upstairs to finish her day, and already formulating a plan in her mind.

Later that afternoon before leaving for the day Emily pulled the piece of paper from her purse with Rachel's number on it. She picked up the phone and dialed.

"Hello?" came Rachel's voice, hardly sounding like herself.

"Hey, it's Emily. How are you feeling?"

As bad as she felt Rachel couldn't help the smile that crossed her face. "Like I've been hit by a truck."

"I missed talking to you this morning." _'God Emily, could you sound any more pathetic?'_

Rachel's smile now turning to a goofy grin at the brunette's admission "I missed talking to you too."

"You were fine last night. What happened?"

"I don't know. I was fine when I went to bed, I sneezed once…then I woke up like this."

"Did you go to the doctor?"

"Nah, I managed to drag myself to the drugstore a few blocks away and picked up some cold medicine and cough syrup. I'll live."

"What's your address?"

"I'm sorry?"

Emily had surprised herself at the question. "What's your address? I'm going to come over."

Rachel sat up still trying to figure out if she had heard correctly "You don't have to do that. I'll be okay. I don't want to chance you getting sick."

"I was out with you last night, besides it's cold season so if I'm going to get sick I'm going to get sick."

"Emily…" Rachel tried to cut her off.

"I'm not trying to be weird, I'm just worried."

Rachel smiled as she heard her own words echoed back at her. "Okay. My address is 1139 Conway Drive."

Emily stopped for a moment as a surprised look came over her face. She had passed Conway Drive, it was less than a mile from her house. "I'll see you in a bit."

Rachel tried to make herself look more presentable but every time she moved it felt as if a sledgehammer was hitting her head and she was a bit dizzy as she stood. She slowly made her way to the door hoping she wasn't about to scare the brunette off.

Emily admired the house as she waited for the door to open. It was a nice little house and it seemed very Rachel. She smiled brightly but her smile faltered as the door opened to reveal a red nose and puffy eyed Rachel. "You poor thing."

"You really didn't have to do this." Rachel said as she stepped back and allowed her friend to come in. She quickly grabbed a tissue from the pocket of her hoodie as she felt another sneeze coming on. She walked over and collapsed on the sofa "I tried to straighten up." she said as she waved her arm indicating the box of tissues, medicine, bottle of water and tissues scattered across the couch and coffee table. Her pillow on one end of the couch and a blanket draped across it.

"Don't worry about it." Emily said as she made her way through to the kitchen with her bags.

Rachel lay there listening to Emily move around in her kitchen and smiled. She hoped that one day Emily could be in her house and not just because she is sick. She was embarrassed that the woman who was her friend, the woman she wanted to take out on a date, had to see her this way but she couldn't deny how happy it made her that it hadn't scared Emily off.

"So I asked where to find the best chicken noodle soup and several people recommended the little Jewish deli around the block from the office." Emily said as she entered the room carrying a steaming bowl of soup. "I got enough that you can have some again later and tomorrow."

"You really didn't have to do this." Rachel said as she sat up and reached out for the bowl.

"What would you like to drink? A cup of tea?"

"I have some apple juice in the refrigerator." Rachel said sheepishly, feeling like she was sounding like a child.

"One apple juice coming up." Emily replied with a smile.

"Will you have some as well?"

"I want to make sure you have enough for tomorrow."

"Please?!"

Rachel's voice sounded so pathetic Emily couldn't help but laugh "Okay, but only because you sound so pitiful." She fixed a bowl for herself and returned with their drinks as well.

They ate in companionable silence as they watched the evening news. It was the kind of quiet evening that neither had experienced in their previous lives. It was only the second time they'd had dinner together but both felt as if they had been doing this forever. Rachel asked how Emily's day had gone and Emily filled her in on the news she had overheard in the halls and elevator that day.

As the clock passed nine both were surprised that it was so late. "I really should be going."

"You don't know how much I've enjoyed this, even though I was sick. I really, really hope you don't get a cold too."

"I can handle a cold." Emily chuckled. She stood next to the door and pulled her coat on. "Now don't forget there's more soup in the fridge. Make sure to get plenty of rest and plenty of fluids."

Rachel shook her head but groaned a bit as it still hurt "Yes Mother."

"Ha. Ha. Don't forget you still owe me a coffee. Actually two if we count the one we missed this morning."

"And as soon as I'm feeling better we're going to have that coffee too."

"No, not as soon as you're feeling better. Not until you're well."

Rachel tried to pull herself from the couch but found it was too much work. "You don't know how much I appreciate this."

"I'm just glad I could help. Besides," then grinning "You would do the same for me."

Rachel smiled "I most certainly would." She rolled over onto her side "Call me when you get home?"

"You know it." seeing the flush on the blonde's face she walked over and placed her right hand on Rachel's forehead "You're burning up, fever must be back."

Rachel felt her face become even hotter at the brunette's touch, whether it was from her fever or Emily's hand she wasn't sure. "I'm gonna take a few ibuprofen and go to bed."

"I'll call when I get home, and I'm going to call and check in on you tomorrow too."

Rachel managed to stay up until Emily called to let her know she had made it safely. She had been surprised and excited to find out they live so close to one another. As she lay in bed she thought about how kind Emily had been, as well as how welcoming it felt to have someone care for her like that. She hated Emily seeing her in the state she was but she also realized that Emily had seen her at her worst and didn't run off. As she began drifting off Rachel made a silent promise to herself _'As soon as I'm better I'm going to ask her out.'_

By Monday Rachel was feeling much better but had decided to stay home to avoid passing anything on to one of the children. Deciding she was going to go crazy if she stayed inside any longer she called Emily and asked if she would feel up to meeting after work for their missed coffee. Emily was more than happy to take her up on the offer but was a little concerned about the blonde's cold. After being reassured it was okay she accepted.

As Rachel sat in the coffee shop waiting she grew more nervous with each passing moment. What if Emily turned her down? What if Emily turned her down and no longer wanted to be friends with her? What if they did go out for a while but it ended badly? Rachel shook the thoughts from her mind as she promised herself she would preserve their friendship above all else.

Emily stepped in and shook the cold off as she allowed the warmth of the coffee shop to come over her. She placed her order at the counter then walked over to the window table where Rachel was sitting. "You look much better than you did the other night."

Rachel chuckled "That's not much of a compliment considering I looked like death warmed over for the last few days."

"You didn't look that bad." She chuckled at the withering look Rachel was giving her "Okay you did look that bad, but you really do look like you're feeling better."

They made small talk as they sipped their coffees. Both commented on the Christmas decorations continuing to pop up around the city as well as the fast approaching holiday. When it came time to leave Rachel was practically shaking with nerves. She had caught herself more than once having to run her hands over her jeans to dry them from sweating. As they walked out into the cold evening air Rachel took a deep breath to try and calm herself.

"So will I see you tomorrow?" Emily asked while pulling her gloves on.

"Yeah I'll be there tomorrow."

Emily noticed the blonde was looking at the sidewalk a lot and fidgeting a bit "Are you okay?"

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine."

"You're lying." Emily said with a smile earning her one in return.

Rachel took a deep breath and blew it out "Um…I wanted to ask you." Another breath _'Just say it.' _"I wanted to ask, would you like to go out with me?"

Emily stared at the blonde for a moment unsure if she had heard what she thought she heard. While she was surprised at the question she had to admit she wasn't really opposed to the idea. She liked Rachel a lot and anyone could see how attractive she was. She was just concerned about their friendship, Rachel was the first friend she made and was the only friend she had.

Rachel grew more nervous the longer the silence lasted. She knew she shouldn't have asked, that it would backfire. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

"No, it's okay." Emily stumbled slightly over her words. "You just caught me off guard."

"Look I'm really sorry and I understand if you don't want to be around me anymore but I really hope we can stay friends."

"I want us to stay friends, you're the only one I have." She grew quiet for a moment before a small smile began to spread across her face "Okay."

"Okay what?" Rachel was trying not to get her hopes up.

"I'll go out on a date with you." her smile bright now.

"Really?" Rachel's smile matching Emily's "You want to go out on a date, with me?"

Emily laughed "I'd like that very much."

Rachel had gone over in her head what she was going to say a thousand times that day but now that the time was here she forgot all of them. "Okay…well…um, how does Friday night sound?"

"I look forward to it." she could see the nervousness on the blonde's face, and she could feel it coursing through her body as well. Emily couldn't remember the last time she had been this excited about a date, let alone a first date.

Rachel was smiling so widely she was sure her facial muscles would be sore the next morning but in that moment she didn't care. "I can't wait." Now she was suddenly unsure of what to do so she pushed her hands into her coat pockets and nodded toward her car "Well, I guess I should be going."

"Yeah, I should too." She started to walk away but turned and smiled "Call me when you get home?"

Rachel laughed as the tables were turned on her "Absolutely."

"Okay. See you in the morning." Emily turned and began walking to where she had parked her car. She was so thankful she had decided to drive over rather than walk from where she normally parked. It was too cold to have to walk very far. She waved her hand in the air when Rachel called out that she would see her in the morning.

Rachel still couldn't get over the fact that Emily had indeed accepted her request for a date. Now she had the rest of the week to plan it. She suddenly began to panic as she realized that meant she only had three days to plan the perfect first date. Wanting to catch one more glimpse of the brunette she turned and smiled as she watched her retreating form in the glow of the street lights "Friday night!" she shouted with a hint of laughter, and still a bit of shock.

Emily laughed as she turned back to face the blonde "It's a date!"


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: My sincerest apologies for the delay. I've tried working on this chapter since the last but nothing was coming out right. Instead of forcing it I just took a break from it for a few days. I also started a new job which has also kept my mind occupied. I hope there won't be such a long delay for the next. For anyone who hasn't seen it last night's finale was amazing, at least in my opinion. Some of this chapter may come across as a little cheesy but I wanted it to be happy and lighthearted after everything they've been through. Thank you for the reviews as well as your continued follows and favorites. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 8

By Friday morning Emily couldn't believe how excited, and now nervous, she was for her date with Rachel. In the past she would be a little nervous about a first date but this nervousness felt different. There were little butterflies fluttering in her stomach, and it was only Friday morning…she couldn't imagine what they were going to be like by that evening. The week had gone as usual with them meeting to order their morning coffee on the days they went in at the same time. The fact that they were going on a date was never brought up aside from an occasional mention at how much they were both looking forward to it.

Rachel smiled as she watched Emily approach seemingly lost in her thoughts. She was so excited at the thought of their date that evening yet at the same time she was terrified she would screw it up somehow. Since she had chickened out the first time she had wanted to ask the brunette out she hadn't left herself much time to plan their evening. She only hoped Emily would like what she had planned. "Morning."

"Good morning." Emily said with a smile as she stepped in line with the blonde to order her morning drink. They made small talk as they waited in line then headed inside to spend their last few minutes together before heading to their respective jobs.

"So, we're still on for tonight?" Rachel asked timidly, still afraid Emily would change her mind at the last minute.

"I'm looking forward to it. Although," she grinned "If you told me where we were going I could be looking even more forward to it."

Rachel chuckled at the brunette's attempt to find out what the plan was for the evening. Emily had been trying all week to get it out of her but she wasn't giving up. "Hey now, I told you it's a surprise. At least I told you whether it was dressy or casual. Although I'm sure you will look nice no matter what you choose to wear."

Emily smiled and hoped she wasn't blushing "I just wanted an idea. I don't want to be underdressed but I don't want to overdress either." She just hoped the outfit she had ran out and purchased on Wednesday evening would be appropriate.

Glancing at her watch and seeing they would have to be on their way Rachel looked to Emily "So I'll pick you up at seven this evening." After Emily had told her where she lived the day before Rachel was shocked at how close by she lived.

Emily smiled "I'll be ready."

Both grew more nervous yet excited as the day progressed. Emily was just putting away the last of her files when there was a knock at her door. "Hey Janet."

"I know you're about to leave but do you have a minute?"

"Sure." Emily silently prayed that this wouldn't cause her to be late getting home.

"Are you okay?" the other woman asked as she leaned on one of the chairs in front of Emily's desk.

Emily scrunched her face in confusion. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

"Well you've seemed a little distracted today, like something was on your mind."

"Oh…it's nothing. I'm okay, I promise."

Janet nodded "Okay then. I was just a little concerned so I wanted to stop in and make sure you were okay."

Emily smiled, she was growing to like her boss more and more every day. "Thank you for your concern but I really am okay. It's just-"

Janet held her hand in the air "You don't need to explain."

Emily knew she needed to at least open up a little if she wanted to have friends. She smiled and blushed slightly "I have a date tonight."

Janet's eyes went wide and she grinned "Really? How exciting! Do I know this lucky person?"

Emily debated whether or not she should answer. She wasn't sure if Rachel would want her to say, she wasn't sure if she wanted to say. It also wasn't lost on her that Janet didn't say 'he'. "Um…you might but I'd rather not say who. It's just a first date we don't know where it might go."

Janet walked over and pat the brunette on the arm "I shouldn't be so nosey. I really like you Emily and I hope this person is good enough for you. Have a nice evening."

A few floors down Rachel was rushing to finish up so she could leave on time. She really wanted the evening to be perfect and that meant making it home in time so that she wouldn't have to rush.

"Rachel honey, is there a reason you're rushing around like your backside is on fire?" Ina asked as she watched the younger woman put the vacuum cleaner away.

Rachel stopped in her tracks "Just trying to get everything done."

"Well you're not going to get fired if it's not done by a certain time. If there is somewhere you need to be just tell me. Julie and I can finish up."

The blonde shook her head "Oh no, I can't leave all this for you two."

Ina walked over and took Rachel's hands in her own "What's going on with you today? You've seemed a little off, almost nervous. I haven't known you that long but I've never seen you this way."

"I…I have a date tonight and I'm just really nervous."

Ina grinned "I didn't know you were seeing anyone!"

"Well I'm not actually seeing anyone yet, it's a first date. I want everything to be perfect but I'm afraid I'm going to screw up somehow."

Ina pulled Rachel in for a hug, there was something about the blonde that made Ina want to mother her. "You're going to be just fine sweetheart! A first date is always nerve wracking but a person would have to be crazy to pass you up."

Rachel chuckled "Well I guess we'll know after tonight." She took a deep breath and smiled at the kindness she saw reflecting in the older woman's eyes "Thank you for calming me down."

"You're going to be just fine. I'm sure it'll be a lovely evening." she was quiet for a minute before grinning and lowering her voice to a whisper "It's not by chance that sweet little Emily from upstairs is it?"

Rachel's eyes went wide as she stumbled over her words "Um…uh…"

"I'm sorry, it's none of my business." she looked around to make sure no one was listening in "If it is though I think she's such a nice person and you two would look so cute together."

Rachel breathed a sigh of relief. "It is Emily, but please don't tell anyone. We've been careful not to mention it in front of anyone here, plus I don't know if she would be comfortable with anyone knowing at the moment." Ina nodded and promised to keep it to herself "How did you know it was her?"

"Well I've seen you two hanging around one another and I know that doesn't mean you're dating, but I kind of wondered when you were sick." Rachel tilted her head in confusion. "She was concerned when she didn't see you that morning so she came down at lunch to check on you. When I told her you were sick I could see it in her eyes. She was worried about you. I know it's early but I really think you two would be good for one another."

"Thank you."

Ina hugged her one more time "Now go on and get out of here and have a good time. And I expect to hear all about it on Monday."

Later that evening Rachel nervously checked her appearance one last time in the mirror that hung in the entryway of her house. She ran her fingers lightly through her hair one last time, still adjusting to it being so short again…let alone blonde. She had done the short, spikey hair style a few years ago and after a slip by a hair stylist she had a pixie cut for a while. She had finally gotten her hair out to a length she was happy with when she entered the program and it was cut off again. She stepped back a little more to get a better look at her outfit. She had chosen a black three quarter-sleeve scoop neck dress. She knew what she had planned for the evening but she hoped that it wasn't too formal for a first date. Rachel slipped on a pair of black heels, grateful it wasn't snowing, and pulled a black pea coat from the closet. As she climbed into her Jeep she took a deep breath and backed out of the driveway.

Emily glanced at the clock on her bedside table from where she stood in her bathroom. It was ten minutes till seven and she knew Rachel would be arriving any moment. She put the finishing touches on her makeup and stepped into her bedroom giving herself another once over in the floor length mirror. Not having any clothes to dress up in she had gone shopping after Rachel gave her a clue as to their evening. She had settled on a bright blue short sleeve dress that landed at her knees. She had found a red sleeveless satin dress that she had fallen in love with but felt it would be a little too dressy for a first date, but purchased it in the hopes she would have the opportunity to wear it later on. She pulled a pair of matching blue heels from the closet and slipped them on before doing one more once over in the mirror. She had curled her lightly and her makeup was lightly done as well. She was just coming down the stairs when she heard the doorbell ring.

Rachel shifted nervously as she could hear Emily's footsteps on the other side of the door. When it opened she smiled but felt the butterflies in her stomach increase their fluttering, she wished they would at least flutter in formation. "Hi."

"Hi." Emily said as she held the door open wider "Come in, I just need to get my coat."

Rachel stepped in and suddenly remembered what was in her hand. She held out a small bouquet of lilies "These are for you."

Emily smiled and graciously took them "Thank you, I love lilies." She went into the kitchen to put them in water before returning to the living room. She took the opportunity to take in what the blonde was wearing while Rachel glanced around the room "You look beautiful." She froze as the words left her mouth, afraid she'd overstepped a bit.

Rachel blushed slightly at the compliment but at the same time her nerves eased a bit "Thank you. You look beautiful as well." both stood there for a moment in awkward silence before Emily picked up her coat from where it was laying across the arm of a chair and put it on. Rachel reached out and opened the door "After you."

Emily grinned as she stepped outside then turned to make sure the door was locked. They made small talk for a few minutes before Emily spoke up "So where exactly are we going?"

"It's always about the questions with you, isn't it?"

"Well excuse me for wanting to know where I'll be spending the evening." Emily said in mock anger.

Rachel sighed sarcastically and rolled her eyes "Oh alright. I found a restaurant called Nola. The chef is originally from New Orleans." Then suddenly worrying that maybe Emily wouldn't like it she stumbled. "I mean I thought it sounded good but if you don't like the sound of it we can go somewhere else."

"No, I think it sounds good. I've never been to New Orleans and I've always wanted to go, you know visit the French Quarter, Mardi Gras."

Neither could take their eyes off the building as Rachel pulled up to the valet. The building was decorated in the style of many buildings in the French Quarter and if it wasn't for the cold they could almost imagine they were in the southern city. As they followed the hostess to their table Emily was aware of Rachel following along close behind her and just to her right. She hoped the blonde wouldn't bump into her as her shoulder still hurt sometimes, she was also aware of the feeling of safety she felt whenever Rachel was close by. After ordering wine and taking a few minutes to look over the menu and order, Emily the shrimp and grits and Rachel the lobster mac &amp; cheese, they settled into conversation.

"So do you have any siblings?" Rachel asked, deciding to jump right in. Emily looked a little surprised by the question so she clarified "You don't have to answer that if you don't want to. It's just a typical first date question."

Emily smiled and nodded "And it's not like we've really discussed our personal lives. To answer your question no siblings, I'm an only child. How about you?"

"I'm an only child as well."

"What about your Dad?" then realizing how personal the question was "I'm sorry, that's none of my business."

Rachel shook her head and held up a hand "It's okay, really." It wasn't like her story was much different from Olivia's. "I don't know my Dad, he ran off before I was born. It was just me and my Mom." Well, the story wasn't as bad as the truth.

"I'm sorry. So what did you do in New Mexico?"

"I worked the ER admit desk at a local hospital."

"I bet that was difficult but I'm sure it was interesting too."

"It was. I mean it was difficult seeing some of the people we did but at the same time you wouldn't believe some of the things we saw." _'Just like being a cop, most wouldn't believe the things we saw.'_

"I can only imagine. I'm sure it's a big change working in a daycare."

"Yeah but I've always loved kids so that helps with the change. So how about you, what did you do before you moved here?"

"I um…I worked in a bank." Still not ready to share the fact that she had been shot and carried a pretty nasty scar to prove it she carefully chose her words "We um, we…we were held up one day." She watched as Rachel's brown eyes went wide "I was one of the tellers on duty when it happened." Emily shook her head "I couldn't go back. I decided that moving and making a fresh start would be best."

"Did they catch the per-people who did it?" _'Always the cop.'_ she thought to herself.

"They did, a day or so later. Thankfully they pled guilty so none of us had to worry about testifying at a trial." Both sat in silence for a moment until their food arrived. After the waiter placed their plates in front of them and left Emily smiled "That's enough talk about the past. How about we talk about the present…and the future?"

Rachel felt her heart skip a beat at the mention of the future "Sounds great to me."

Over dinner they discussed things they had discussed already but continued to learn more about one another. They talked about their favorite music, books, movies and television shows. Both were shocked at how the other didn't pick up on how guarded they seemed to be about sharing certain parts of their history.

"I think that is one of the best meals I've had in ages!" Emily said as she pushed her plate away and drank the last bit of wine in her glass.

"Oh my God I know what you mean!" Rachel replied as she finished the last of her wine "Who knew that you could class up mac and cheese like that? I don't think I could eat another bite!"

Emily watched as another waited passed with dessert and her eyes widened at what was on the plate. She looked to Rachel and knew the blonde was thinking the same thing. "Those beniets look really good."

Rachel grinned "I think I could go for something sweet."

The brunette motioned for their waiter "We'd like an order of beniets."

The young man smiled brightly "Yes ma'am, and can I get a café au lait for each of you?" both nodded "A very nice way to end your meal."

When the sweet treats were placed in front of them both grinned like kids who were allowed ice cream before dinner. Both quickly dug in, doing their best to avoid getting the powder sugar all over their clothes. Emily dusted the sugar off of her hands before picking up her cup and taking a sip. "This is so good! Kind of like a fancy doughnuts and coffee."

Rachel laughed at the joke, probably more than she should have. She hoped Emily didn't think she was doing so just to please her. "I'll never go to sleep tonight. I'm gonna be on a sugar high till well past midnight."

"And here I thought our evening would cause you to be on a high." She couldn't believe the words had left her mouth.

Rachel grinned _'Was she just flirting with me?' _"Well," Rachel said as her smile grew wider "That too could have something to do with it."

They finished their meal and Rachel motioned their waiter that they were ready. He lay a black book down with the ticket inside, Rachel saw Emily reaching toward it and placed her hand over it preventing the brunette from picking it up. She slid it over and took her credit card from her purse and placed it inside and handed it back to the young man.

"I'd be more than happy to pay for my meal."

Rachel shook her head "I asked you out and I am paying. I'm not one to expect my date to pay their half of the evening."

As they were leaving the restaurant she found herself smiling as they waited for the valet to bring the car around. "So what now?" she asked after climbing in and wrapping her coat tighter around her to ward off the cold till the car warmed up.

"Um…I had something else planned but if you don't like the sound of it or you think it's too cheesy just tell me and we don't have to go."

"Well if you don't tell me how will I know?" she teased.

"Okay, I heard about this Christmas event on the radio. It's set up to look like a village right out of a Charles Dickens novel. You can walk through and there are carolers and they sell little treats and candies." She could see a small smile on Emily's face and hoped that was a good sign. "I love A Christmas Carol, it's my favorite Christmas movie! I've read the story and everything. Plus I really enjoy reading Charles Dickens."

Emily couldn't help but smile at her date's enthusiasm. "I think it sounds like a great idea!" after a moment of silence she took a moment to observe Rachel before speaking again "By the way, I love Dickens too."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Most people only know who he is because of A Christmas Carol or haven't heard of him at all. Do you have a favorite novel of his?"

"I don't really have a favorite but I love Great Expectations and A Tale of Two Cities. How about you?"

"No favorite but I've read them all."

"How did you get started? Was it in school?"

'_No, my Mom was an English professor and that's where I got my love of reading. One of the few things she did in her brief sober moments was make sure I had an appreciation of reading.'_ She thought to herself before coming up with a cover "My Mom bought me a copy of Oliver Twist when I was a kid and I fell in love."

"I got hooked in high school when we had to read Great Expectations."

They pulled up outside the Middleton Community Center where the event was being held. It was free to enter but Rachel had heard that they did take donations at the door to support local charities. It was open every weekend in December thru Christmas and each weekend the money raised went to a different charity. That particular weekend all monies raised would go to a local family refuge center to help provide a Christmas dinner for those in residence as well as a small gift for the children staying there. While neither acknowledged how close to their heart it was both were more than happy to give a generous donation as they entered. Emily slipped her coat off and draped it over her arm as Rachel did the same with hers. Emily was taken by surprise though when she felt Rachel gently place her hand on her back as they started down the first aisle. She glanced at the brunette from the corner of her eye and if Rachel was aware of what she was doing she wasn't showing it.

Rachel hoped that Emily couldn't feel her hand shaking. She hadn't even been aware of what she was doing until her hand was already on Emily's back, it had just felt like such a natural thing to do. She took a deep, steadying breath and decided to enjoy the moment while she could.

The giant room was decorated to look as if it had just popped out of a Victorian novel. Even the different booths that were set up were decorated to reflect the theme and the people working the booths were dressed in period attire as well. "This is so great!" Rachel exclaimed as she looked around. "I feel like I climbed into A Christmas Carol."

Emily had to laugh at her date's enthusiasm. "You are so cute!" she instantly felt the blush creep up her face.

Rachel tilted her head sideways a bit to look at the brunette, a bashful grin on her face. "Why thank you. I think you're pretty cute too."

They stopped to look at the different crafts and treats being offered for sale at the different booths. When Rachel said they should order cups of hot chocolate to sip while they listened to the carolers Emily quickly ordered and paid before the blonde had a chance. After listening to the carolers for a few minutes they slowly made their way back toward the entrance, purchasing little candies and treats along the way. While looking at a display Emily unconsciously looped her arm around Rachel's. When they finally made it back to the entrance Rachel hated the thought of removing Emily's arm from hers to put her coat on. She wondered how sick she would get if she simply went without her coat for the walk to the car. Both reluctantly broke contact and put their coats on but Rachel missed the contact and once again placed her hand on Emily's back as they walked out the door.

"I'm gonna gain a hundred pounds from all this candy I bought." Emily groaned as she looked at the homemade cookies, fudge and candy she had purchased.

"Not even." Rachel laughed. "You strike me as the type who can eat whatever she wants and never gain a pound. Me on the other hand, I'm pretty sure I gained ten pounds just looking at it and smelling the food." She glanced at the bag of goodies she had purchased. "I shouldn't have bought all that. Ina's been bringing in candy and cookies that she has made. One of the other girls, Meg, said that any day now she'll be bringing in some for each of us to take home. Apparently she does it every year. I'm gonna have to hit the gym hard by the end of the month."

"I need to get back into it as well. I have a treadmill but I used to run before…" she trailed off as her mind flashed back to her runs through Central Park. "Anyway," she said as she cleared her throat "Maybe I'll need to start looking into a gym after the start of the year."

"Maybe you could go with me a time or two and see if you like the one I go to."

"Sounds like a good idea." She said with a smile.

When they pulled up in front of Emily's home both felt a sadness that the evening was coming to an end but at the same time both felt it was the best evening they'd had in months. Emily slowly got out of the car, she was trying to hide it but the cold made her shoulder hurt from time to time. She smiled when she saw Rachel already standing next to the car to escort her to the door. It did make the brunette feel more at ease going into her dark home knowing Rachel was with her. Once inside she took her coat off and laid it across the chair before turning back to her date "I had a really nice time this evening, thank you."

Rachel smiled brightly "I had a really nice time too, and I would like to do it again sometime."

"What are you doing tomorrow evening?"

Rachel grinned and raised an eyebrow "I don't know, what are you suggesting?"

Emily couldn't help stepping closer to the blonde "I'd like to take you out tomorrow evening, dinner and a movie."

"I'd like that very much."

Both were nervous and unsure as to what to do, they knew it was too soon for a goodnight kiss but it didn't mean the thought didn't cross their minds. "I really should be going." Rachel said.

"Call me when you get home."

"I promise."

Rachel backed out the door, unable to turn and take her eyes off the brunette. "Goodnight." She said as she slowly made her way down the walk.

"Goodnight." As nervous as it made her Emily stayed in the doorway and watched until Rachel had pulled away. Once the Jeep was out of sight she locked the door and leaned back against it, a smile crossing her face and a sigh escaping her lips. Maybe, just maybe, there would be a silver lining to all this madness.

Rachel was unable to wipe the smile from her face on her short drive home. Tonight had felt so different than all the time she had spent with Emily, it was as if the brunette was a little more open and relaxed. She had to chuckle at the small squeal that escaped when she thought about their evening. It was still early but she felt that this could really go somewhere. She shook her head at the irony. Who knew that getting stabbed and running from a gang could possibly lead to the best thing to ever happen to her?

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**A/N: A Christmas Carol is my favorite Christmas movie and I had to include it. Even though it is almost summer as I wrote this I found myself fighting the urge to watch it. My favorite versions are the 1984 George C. Scott version and the 2009 Jim Carrey cartoon version. I wanted to give them something in common that they could share, hence both being a fan of Dickens.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:Thank you all for your kind reviews! So glad you enjoyed their first date, we will see a little of their second date in this chapter. Some of you mentioned you liked that they are taking it slow, and I'm glad you like that. Both have secrets and fears so they of course will be taking it slow. I hope to have the next chapter up soon, I will do my best to update within the next week. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 9

It was cold yet sunny Monday morning when Rachel stepped out her door to go to work. She inhaled deeply and watched as her breath floated in front of her as she breathed out. As she walked to her Jeep she couldn't wipe the smile from her face. The past weekend had been the best weekend she had spent since this entire mess started. She had counted herself lucky when Emily agreed to their date on Friday night but she couldn't believe it when the brunette turned around and asked her out for Saturday. As much as they wanted to see one another they spent Sunday alone, both afraid of overdoing it, but they did spend some time on the phone with one another Sunday afternoon.

As she drove to work Rachel wished they had been able to ride together but had decided against asking at least for now. She parked and sat listening to the radio until she saw the brunette's BMW approach. Rachel checked her appearance one last time in the mirror before climbing out and walking across the aisle to Emily's car.

Emily smiled when she caught sight of Rachel approaching. She grabbed her purse and looked in the mirror then grinned when she saw Rachel with her hand on the door ready to open it for her. She climbed out and smiled brightly "Why thank you."

Rachel's smile was just as bright "Good morning."

Following their morning routine they headed to the food cart to get a cup of coffee. As they waited in line both kept looking at one another shyly, grinning from time to time feeling like a couple of teenagers. After ordering, coffee and a pastry for Rachel and coffee for Emily, they started toward the building. "So this weekend was good." Emily said.

"It definitely was." Rachel agreed. "Saturday night was a lot of fun." She smiled but it quickly turned to a sly grin as she watched the blush slowly creep up the brunette's face.

Emily stopped in her tracks and turned to face the blonde who was now struggling not to laugh. "Oh my God! I'm never gonna hear the end of that, am I?"

"Aw come on, it wasn't that bad." Rachel said as she lightly nudged Emily's left shoulder.

"Maybe not for you." Emily shook her head as she flashed back to their date on Saturday.

_Emily hummed along to the Christmas music playing on the radio as she got ready for her date. Her date the night before with Rachel was hands down the best first date she had ever been on. She'd had trouble falling asleep as she replayed the evening over and over in her mind. Unlike most nights since entering the program she actually slept. For the first time in weeks she woke feeling rested and looking forward to what the day could bring._

_Rachel stood in front of her closet and looked over the items hanging there. She couldn't come up with something that suited her. Their date that night was simple, a movie then a late dinner, but she still wanted to look nice. She settled on boots, dark jeans and a beige sweater. She tousled her hair a bit. She had worn her hair like this years before when it was short and it seemed that Emily liked it when she wore it this way to work. When she heard the knock at the door she turned her bedroom light off and quickly walked through the house._

_Emily shifted her weight as she waited outside the door. Even though it was their second date she was almost as nervous as she was the night before. She hoped that Rachel would enjoy what she had planned. Hearing the door open Emily looked up and smiled "Hi."_

"_Hi." Rachel said as she stepped back and held the door open "Come in."_

"_These are for you." Emily said as she held out a bouquet of mixed flowers. _

"_Thank you." Rachel said as she inhaled their scent then headed to the kitchen to look for a vase. When she returned she took a moment to take in the brunette's outfit. Emily was wearing a blue blouse with a white cami underneath, dark blue jeans and black boots with a black coat. "You look great."_

_Emily blushed slightly at the comment but smiled "Thank you. You look pretty great yourself." She waited while Rachel pulled her own coat on then opened the door "Shall we?"_

"_Been looking forward to it all day." Rachel smirked as she walked past. _

"_So what movie are we seeing?" Rachel asked as she climbed into the passenger seat of Emily's car._

"_It's ladies choice, so it's up to you."_

"_Um…wouldn't that mean it's up to both of us?"_

_Emily laughed "Well here's the thing, I've chosen a few movies and I'll let you pick. If you don't like the sound of them you can pick what we see." Seeing Rachel smile and nod she continued "There is one theater that shows classic films, they are showing two tonight, or we could go see a new release. That new Tom Cruise movie is out."_

_Rachel smiled when she heard Emily mention the classic theater. In one of their earlier conversations she had mentioned how she loved classic movies, and the fact that Emily remembered that and took it into consideration made her heart beat a little faster. "What movies are showing at the classic theater?"_

"_Breakfast at Tiffany's and The Girl Can't Help It."_

"_Hmm…Audrey Hepburn and Jayne Mansfield, that's a tough choice." She thought for a moment before looking over "Since I own Breakfast at Tiffany's how about we see The Girl Can't Help It? Maybe we could have a movie night one night and watch my DVD?"_

_Emily grinned "I think that sounds like a great idea."_

_When they entered the theatre both felt as if they had stepped back into the past. The theatre was decorated in the classic style of the forties and fifties. When Rachel began to protest about Emily paying the brunette politely pointed out that she was the one who asked her out and she would be the one paying. They made their way into the theater after ordering soda's, a popcorn to share and a box of gummy bears for Emily._

_As the movie played they both settled in closer until they were leaning against one another. Emily was grateful that Rachel had sat on her left and not her right, she had yet to tell the blonde about being shot and wanted to avoid it as long as possible. Emily reached over and took another handful of popcorn from the bag that was sitting on Rachel's lap, hating that their hands didn't brush like they had several times already._

_Rachel shifted the popcorn to her left hand as she tried to work up the nerve to put her arm around Emily's shoulder. She was pretty sure the gesture would be welcomed it was just getting the nerve to do it. Emily felt the blonde moving around and she hoped that she wasn't going to move away she was enjoying the closeness too much, maybe a little too much. She reached over for more popcorn and was suddenly aware that her hand wasn't going in the bag, but between Rachel's thighs._

_Rachel looked down at Emily's hand that had unceremoniously landed between her thighs. Her breath caught as a few images of what that hand could do flashed through her mind. At the same time she couldn't help but grin, it was kinda funny. She looked to her right and even in the dark theater she could see the blush that had spread from Emily's neck to her face. _

_Emily froze when she realized where her hand was. Her brain was screaming at her to move but it was as if her hand wasn't getting the message. She looked to Rachel expecting to see a look of disgust but instead saw that the blonde was grinning. "Oh, I'm so sorry!" the brunette whispered as her hand finally managed to move. _

"_It's okay." Rachel whispered. _

_Emily shifter her gaze back to the screen and wished a hole would open up below her seat. She startled slightly though when she felt Rachel's arm drape across the back of the seat and settle on her upper right arm. She chanced a look out of the corner of her eye and had to smile when she saw the look of nervousness on Rachel's face. She exhaled slowly and hoped that her face would be back to its normal color by the time the lights came up. As she settled back into her seat and gently slid closer to Rachel she couldn't keep the smile from her face as Rachel whispered to her again._

"_It's okay, I promise."_

While Rachel had reassured her that her little 'slip' as she had called it was okay it didn't mean she wasn't going to tease her about it. The blonde had made a joke or two about it at dinner after the movie and again while talking on the phone on Sunday.

"You know I'm just giving you a hard time, right?" Rachel asked as they walked toward the building.

"I know." Emily said in a slightly exasperated tone "If the situation was reversed wouldn't you be embarrassed?"

"Yep," Rachel nodded "And if the situation were reversed wouldn't you be giving me a hard time?"

At that Emily laughed "Touché."

As they rode the elevator neither realized that they were standing closer to one another than they usually did. Emily also had to smile when she felt Rachel's hand brush hers, their fingers briefly wrapping around one another's. "Have a good day." Rachel said as she stepped forward and exited the elevator. When the doors closed Emily dropped her head back against the wall and smiled as she remembered the moment from Saturday night when they first held hands.

_After the movie they drove a short distance to a pizza place in keeping with their relaxed evening. Rachel had finally let up in her teasing Emily much to the brunette's delight. "I really liked that movie." Emily said. _

"_So did I. You know, she's a very underrated as an actress." Emily nodded in agreement. "Can you imagine having curves like that though?"_

_Emily looked over "I wish I did, but you are pretty lucky in that department." _

_Rachel laughed "Oh really, and what department is that?"_

"_Curves." Emily looked over seriously now that she had parked the car, but a sparkle in her eyes "You've got amazing curves."_

_Rachel grinned at the blatant flirting and decided to give as good as she got "Well thank you, but you…you've got legs that go on for days."_

_Both were quiet for a moment before Emily found her voice "Um…I guess we should head inside."_

"_Yeah." Rachel said as she cleared her throat before climbing from the car "I am a little hungry, someone ate most of the popcorn."_

_Emily tilted her head and looked down her nose at the blonde "We bought it to share. I can't help that you didn't eat any of it." They started toward the restaurant but Emily nearly stopped in her tracks when she felt Rachel take her hand causing her to look over in surprise. Rachel didn't look over but Emily could see the nervous smile on her face. _

_Rachel prayed Emily wasn't able to detect her nervousness as she took her hand. She had wanted to take her hand on their first date but just like kissing her she was afraid to overstep her bounds. She breathed a sigh of relief when she felt Emily lace their fingers together as they entered the restaurant._

"So how did it go?" Ina asked excitedly once the initial morning rush was over.

"How did what go?"

"You know darn good and well what I'm talking about." Ina said as she fixed the blonde with her teacher stare.

Rachel laughed "It was great. Really, really great."

Ina smiled brightly "So when is the second date?"

At that Rachel's smile turned to a sly grin "It was Saturday night." Rachel was taken by surprise when she felt Ina's arms wrap around her.

"I'm so happy for you. Emily is a wonderful girl and I think you two will be very good for one another."

"Thank you." Rachel said as Ina walked away. "I'm starting to think that too."

A few floors up Emily was enduring her own 'interrogation'. "So?" Janet asked as she stood in Emily's office door.

Emily blushed slightly "It was…" then grinning "It was the best first date I've ever been on. It was also the best second date I've ever been on."

Janet's eyes widened as she smiled "Two dates in one weekend?" Emily nodded "Lucky you!" she walked over and leaned in closer "So care to share who this great date was?"

Emily sighed and hoped Rachel wouldn't care "It's Rachel Martin."

"Rachel from daycare?"

"Yeah."

"Oh I like her, she's such a sweetheart! Josie loves her. When did you two meet?"

"We met that day you asked me to take Josie's medicine down to her."

"So technically it's because of me that you two met."

Emily tilted her head "I guess it is. Thank you."

"No need to thank me, just make sure I get an invitation to the wedding!" Janet laughed as she left the office leaving a furiously blushing Emily.

The rest of the week passed at an agonizingly slow pace. Rachel was either going in earlier or working later than Emily which put a halt to meeting in the morning. They did manage to find time on Thursday evening though to go to dinner.

"So I've got a question." Rachel said as they neared the end of their meal.

"And what's that?"

"How would you feel about taking a little trip on Saturday?"

Emily panicked slightly for a moment "Um, well…it sounds nice but I don't think I'm ready for that."

Rachel's eyes widened as she realized what Emily thought she meant "Oh no, I didn't mean it that way. I just meant a little day trip."

Emily breathed a sigh of relief "Well what did you have in mind?"

"I was thinking Chicago. It's only about an hour and a half drive from here so we would have plenty of time to spend in the city. I know it's the weekend before Christmas and it'll probably be crowded but I think it would be fun."

"I would love to."

On Saturday morning the two women piled into Rachel's Jeep and headed toward Chicago. They laughed and talked as well as sang along to the radio from time to time. "Oh I love this song!" Emily said as Madonna's 'Open Your Heart' came on the radio.

Rachel reached over and turned the volume up slightly as she began dancing along in her seat. She looked to her left and couldn't help but enjoy the sight of the brunette dancing and singing along in her seat. She loved how Emily seemed to be opening up a little more every day. The detective in her was sure there was something Emily was still hiding from her but she wouldn't push, she would let her open up on her own. After all she had her own secrets as well.

After arriving in Chicago they parked in a parking garage and headed out to see the city. It was a bit cloudy but the sun was peeking through from time to time, snow was in the forecast but they were hoping it would hold off for most of the day. They wandered through stores and little shops enjoying the decorations and displays as they did so, holding hands the entire time. Emily loved how Rachel always walked on her left side as if she were a barrier between her and traffic. She always felt safe when the blonde was around and it wasn't the first time that she thought if Rachel had been with her the night of the shooting things may have turned out differently.

Even though neither had any family to shop for both wanted to buy gifts. They bought something for each of their bosses while Emily also picked out a gift for each of Janet's kids. They stopped for lunch at a little restaurant after Rachel insisted that since they were in Chicago they needed to have a deep dish pizza. While the food was good Emily felt it wasn't nearly as good as her beloved New York pizza.

"So before we go home I would love to go to the Sears Tower. I want to go to the observation deck, look out over the city. You're not afraid of heights are you?"

"No I'll be fine."

Rachel had intentionally found a parking garage close to the building in the hopes that Emily would be willing to go. They stopped off and put their purchases in the car, covering them up in the hopes no one would break in while they were gone. They walked hand in hand to the Sears Tower and rode the elevator to the observation deck. When they stepped off the elevator and made their way over to the windows they were in awe at the view. The city stretched out below them until it met Lake Michigan.

"Oh wow!" Rachel whispered as she stepped up to the glass then pulled out her camera to take a few pictures.

Emily smiled at her almost childlike wonder "It is a great view."

"Let me take your picture."

"What?"

Rachel motioned her to turn her back to the glass "Come on, I just want a picture of you here."

Emily relented and turned her back to the glass and smiled at the blonde _'God, she really is amazing.'_ She thought to herself.

'_She is quite possibly the best thing that will ever happen to you, don't screw this up Rachel.' _She took a few pictures of Emily to make sure she got the perfect shot "Thank you."

"Now," Emily said as she walked over, making sure to add an extra sway to her hips, "It's your turn to get your picture taken." Rachel walked over and posed for a few pictures. She even did her best pinup girl pose for a few causing Emily to laugh and earning a few stares from other visitors. When she was finished Emily turned to the young woman who was standing nearby "Excuse me, would you take our picture?"

"Sure."

Emily walked over and stepped close to Rachel. She wasn't surprised when she felt Rachel's arm around her waist and she did the same in return. The woman said she was going to take a few to make sure they would have a good photo. "One more please." Rachel said. Emily was about to ask why when she felt Rachel's lips on her cheek. She could only imagine what her face was going to look like when they would have the pictures printed. Rachel on the other hand couldn't believe she had kissed Emily. Granted it wasn't the kind of kiss she wanted to share with her but it was a step closer. She only hoped it wouldn't backfire on her. When she chanced a look at Emily she was grateful she didn't see a look of horror or disgust.

The ride back down few words were said between the two and they were only about the view of the city. When they exited the building Rachel turned to the younger woman "I'm sorry, was that okay?"

"Was what okay?" Emily asked slightly confused.

"Um, what happened." She pointed skywards indicating their kiss.

"It was okay. I promise." Emily took Rachel's hand in hers and began walking down the sidewalk. From their view at the Sky Deck she knew they were only a few blocks from the Chicago River. When they arrived at one of the paths that overlooks the river a light snow began to fall.

"I was hoping this would hold off until we made it back home." Rachel said although secretly she enjoyed the snow having only seen it a few times in her lifetime.

"I think we'll be okay." Emily replied as she stopped and leaned on the railing overlooking the water. Both smiled as they looked up and down the river bank as the lights in the buildings slowly began to come on. They pointed out sparkly lights and decorations in the windows as well as one of the boats that floated by.

Rachel reached over and took Emily's hand in hers giving it a light squeeze "Do you know how beautiful you look right now?"

Emily had the good graces to blush "Not nearly as beautiful as you."

Rachel blushed in return "That's debatable." It was now or never she decided, and knew Emily was thinking the same thing when she saw the brunette leaning in slightly. Their lips were a breath apart when Rachel's eyes flicked down to Emily's lips then back to her bright blue eyes. Seeing no hesitation she leaned in the last little bit and pressed their lips together. It was brief, lasting only a few seconds, but for Rachel she knew it was something she wanted to repeat.

"That," Emily whispered as her eyes slowly opened "Was more than okay."

"Hmm…yes it was." Rachel barely got the words out when she felt Emily's lips on hers again. This time the kiss was longer and deeper. When she felt Emily's tongue barely brush across her bottom lip she was grateful to still be leaning on the railing as it felt like her knees were about to give out. Upon hearing the laughter, whistles and cheers from a passing group they finally parted, both laughing as they did so.

"I think that's our cue that we should get going." Emily said.

"I guess so." Rachel said before stealing one last quick kiss then lacing her fingers with Emily's and heading back to the car.

The ride back home wasn't quite as lively thanks to the exhaustion both were feeling after wandering around the city for most of the day. Their hands stayed joined together on the console between the seats for most of the ride. It was only when the snow began to pick up did Rachel release her hold on the brunette's hand in favor of holding the steering wheel. She had never driven in snow before and had found the days that it had already snowed made her nervous.

"Are you okay?" Emily asked when she noticed the near death grip the blonde had on the wheel.

"I'm fine, just not used to driving in the snow. Makes me a little nervous." She admitted sheepishly.

Emily grinned and moved her hand to Rachel's thigh and gave it a light squeeze "You're doing just fine." Seeing that the other woman was still nervous she tried again "Do you want me to drive?"

"How do you know how to drive in the snow?"

"I've spent time with friends and family in Colorado, remember?"

"I forgot." She took a deep breath "I'll be okay."

"I trust you." Emily said. The words bringing a smile to Rachel's face. While it was said for Rachel's benefit Emily knew that her words had an effect on her as well. She had been so worried about being alone here, and was afraid to trust anyone. Rachel had changed that. She felt safe when the blonde was around and deep down she trusted her. She kept her hand on Rachel's thigh and smiled when she could see the blonde was beginning to relax.

When they pulled up in front of Emily's house both were sad that they would have to part after having such a wonderful day together. Rachel got out and walked Emily to the door, their arms around one another's waist. Emily loved that Rachel walked her to the door, it was a kind gesture but at the same time she was still nervous about going in alone after dark. She was growing more accustomed to it since it was almost dark when she would arrive home from work in the evenings. Just to make her feel safer she had a lamp on a timer in the living room to come on at dark. It made walking in alone a little easier.

"I've had so much fun today." Rachel said while standing just inside the door.

"So have I." Emily said as she stepped closer and wrapped her arms around the blonde's waist, pulling her closer.

Rachel grinned as she draped her arms over the slightly taller woman's shoulders "Of course, there was one part of the day I enjoyed more than anything else."

"Oh really?" Emily grinned coyly "And what was that?"

"The pizza." Rachel was barely able to maintain a straight face "That was some of the best pizza I've had in a long time."

Emily's jaw dropped, her eyes wide "You had better be joking Ms. Martin."

Rachel burst into laughter "Sorry, I had to do it." then stepping closer "Our first kiss was the best part of the day."

At that Emily smiled, her eyes sparkling "Best part of the day for me too." She said before leaning in for a kiss. The kiss was slow, both knowing there wouldn't be any interruptions this time. Both tried to inch just that little bit closer, loving the feel of their bodies pressed together.

When they finally parted, their lungs screaming for air, they stayed wrapped in one another's arms, foreheads resting against one another's. "Probably one of the best days of my life." Rachel whispered.

"Mine too." Emily replied, her voice barely above a whisper.

Rachel regrettably pulled back "I guess I should get going."

"Yeah. Do you maybe want to have brunch tomorrow?"

Rachel smiled "Sounds good. Call me in the morning?"

"Only if you call me to let me know you made it home."

"You've got yourself a deal." Rachel said as she kissed her quickly again.

Rachel had already stepped out the door when she turned back "Hey, I was wondering…how would you feel about spending Christmas together?" she waited a second and when Emily didn't respond she began to ramble "I mean I know you don't have any family here and neither do I but if you already have plans that's okay. I just thought we could spend the day together. I usually worked Christmas day so someone who had kids or a family could be off and this is the first time in years I'll have the day off." she was taken by surprise when she felt Emily's lips against her own.

Emily chuckled when she finally pulled back "Do you always ramble like that?"

Rachel blushed slightly and chuckled "No, but if that's what you're going to do when I start maybe I will more often."

"I would love to spend Christmas with you."

"Great! It won't be anything fancy, maybe between the two of us we can come up with a halfway decent meal then watch movies the rest of the day?"

"It sounds like a great way to spend the day." Emily said with a smile.

Rachel nodded "We can make plans over the next few days."

"Okay, see you tomorrow."

Rachel was making her way over to her car when she turned and ran back "Just one more." She said before pressing her lips to Emily's one last time. "I'll call you in a few minutes!" she said as she turned and ran the short distance to her car.

Emily couldn't help but laugh, her body still tingling from the feel of Rachel's kiss. Only a few dates and she was already feeling things she had never felt before. Never had she been as excited about a new relationship as she was about this one. It was still early but this could be it, this could be the one. _Please God, let her be the one. _


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Sorry for the delay. Thank you all for your kind reviews and messages, as well as the follows and favorites. You all seem to be enjoying it and for that I am glad. This is a bit longer than usual but I wanted to cover both Christmas &amp; New Year's. There will be a small time jump in the next chapter but not much, about a month. As always I don't own anything except my own characters. Again, a shout out to Little Miss Nicap who had the idea for this story. I know I would've never come up with this on my own. To anyone who is curious yes she knows the general premise of the story and we do bounce ideas back and forth but she is in the dark about the majority of this story just as everyone else is. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 10

Monday evening Emily and Rachel sat in the brunette's car just outside Janet's house. Her boss had invited her for a small Christmas party and had told her to bring Rachel along. "So…are we gonna sit in the car all evening?" Rachel asked.

Emily looked over and grinned but took a deep breath "No. Are you sure you're okay with this?"

"With what?"

Emily motioned between them then pointed at the house "Us going together. I mean there will be people from work there."

"I'm fine with it. Are you?" suddenly a little nervous about how Emily may feel about them going together.

Emily smile now "I'm okay with it I just wanted to make sure you were. I mean we've been out in public together but we haven't done anything like this."

"Well," Rachel said as she leaned over for a light kiss "Let's get this show on the road."

They walked to the door hand in hand, Emily carrying the gifts she had purchased for the kids. They were welcomed in by Janet and all three shared small talk in the entryway before entering the living room to join the rest of the guests. Rachel was just about to accept a drink when a high pitched squeal stopped her.

"Rachel!" Josie shouted as she ran across the room and crashed into the blonde's legs.

"Hey Josie." Rachel laughed as she reached down for a hug but instead had to pick the little girl up.

"You come to our party!" Rachel was about to answer but was quickly cut off "Santa gonna come tomorrow night. We gonna get a lot of presents!"

"I know you will because you have been such a good girl." She laughed as listened to the little girl rattle on about Christmas.

Emily stood back and watched the exchange. She wondered why Rachel had spent so long working at a hospital when she was so good with children. _'She would make a great Mom.'_ Emily thought then shook the thought from her mind as she wondered how it had crept in there. They had only been dating a few weeks it was far too soon to be thinking things like that. Deciding that if she didn't step in Rachel would never get the drink she was holding for her.

"Hey Josie."

"Hi Emily!"

"I brought a gift for you and your brother. Your Mom put them under the tree."

"Thank you!" she shouted as she wiggled her way from Rachel's arms and ran over to where her brother was getting both gifts out.

Emily handed the glass of wine to the blonde "You're welcome."

Rachel laughed "You gotta love her though."

They mingled for a bit with other guests, Emily introducing Rachel to a couple of people she worked with and Janet introducing them both to friends of hers. Rachel loved how even though when they were on opposite sides of the room they were still somehow able to catch one another's eye. She had just returned from the bathroom when she looked up and caught sight of Emily talking to an older woman. The brunette was wearing a pair of black slacks and a red sweater, her hair curled lightly. Rachel still couldn't get over the fact that someone so beautiful would give her a second glance. She watched as Emily turned and met her gaze a bright smile lighting up her face. Rachel felt her heart beat just a little faster and had to smile. She walked over and placed her hand on the small of Emily's back, her smile growing wider when she felt Emily's arm wrap around her own waist.

They continued to talk for a bit longer before deciding to call it an evening. Rachel put her coat on and held Emily's out for her to put on.

"I'm so glad you both came." Janet said as she stood in the hallway with the pair.

"Oh thank you for inviting us." Emily replied.

"Yes thank you." Rachel said.

They were interrupted when Janet's kids entered the hall to thank Emily for their gifts. Josie hugged Emily then held her arms in the air indicating she wanted Rachel to pick her up. "Bye munchkin." Rachel said as she hugged the girl.

"Bye Rachel." Josie said as she hugged her back. She pulled back and looked at Emily then back to Rachel "Is she your girlfriend?"

Both blushed slightly. "Well…um…" Rachel was a little unsure as to how to answer the question.

Emily chuckled at the question and Rachel's response. She finally took pity on the blonde and leaned in close "Yes Josie, I'm her girlfriend."

Rachel looked over, her eyes wide. They had only been on a few dates and while she was hoping that she would eventually be able to call the brunette her girlfriend she was taken by surprise when Emily said she was. "Really?" she whispered.

Emily nodded and kissed her cheek lightly "Really."

Once back inside Emily's car Rachel looked over "So you're my girlfriend huh?"

Emily nodded "I know I want to be your girlfriend. I'm sorry if that was a bit presumptuous of me to say. I know we've not discussed it yet what we are exactly."

Rachel reached over and squeezed her hand "It wasn't presumptuous. I would love to be called your girlfriend and to call you my girlfriend. I know it's still early on but I really like you and, well…" she grew quiet for a moment as she thought about what would happen if the call came that she could return to LA. She quickly shook the thought from her mind and decided she would cross that bridge when she came to it. She smiled as she looked up and met Emily's expectant gaze "I can see this going somewhere."

Emily leaned in for a kiss, their lips moving slowly against one another, smiling into the kiss before pulling back "I see this going somewhere too."

Tuesday morning they met at a grocery store in their neighborhood to decide what they were going to have for their Christmas dinner. Emily had suggested maybe just ordering something from a restaurant but Rachel insisted they should try and cook their own. After much debating, and Emily reiterating the fact that she wasn't much of a cook, they settled on a small turkey breast and a few simple sides.

"Are you sure you can roast a turkey?" Emily asked as they stood in the checkout line.

Rachel looked back, pretending to be offended "I can roast a chicken. Actually roast chicken is one thing I make really well."

"Yes, but we're talking about a turkey not chicken."

"Yeah but they're both birds." She started unloading their cart onto the counter then looked up "Besides if you put a naked chicken next to a naked turkey you can't tell the difference."

Emily tilted her head and shook it slightly as the blonde laughed at her own joke "You're so funny."

"So I'll pick you up about four." Rachel said outside as they put the bags in her Jeep. When she didn't get a response she looked up "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Emily said as she stared at the traffic.

Rachel closed the back of the Jeep and turned to the brunette. She stepped closer and placed her hands on Emily's arms "Emily? Do you not want to go?"

Emily sighed and turned to face the woman in front of her. "No I want to go." Ina had invited them both to Christmas Eve dinner at her house that evening. "It's just…" she trailed off as she felt tears threatening. Her parents had been on her mind heavily over the last few days but of course she couldn't talk about that. "It's just my first Christmas in a different place and I always miss my Mom this time of year." She said as the tears finally spilled over. She felt Rachel's arms wrap around her and hold her close.

"Oh Emily." Rachel whispered into her ear and lightly ran her hand up and down her back.

They stayed that way for a couple minutes until Emily calmed down a bit. "I'm sorry." She said as she wiped her tears.

"Hey, don't apologize." Rachel said as she looked Emily in the eye "It's hard losing your Mom." While she wasn't as close to her Mom as Rachel was to hers it had still hurt when the Captain called her into his office to tell her that her Mom had died. Regardless of their relationship Serena was still her Mom and it still hurt to this day. "Are you sure you want to go this evening?"

Emily cleared her throat and smiled "I'm sure."

"Okay then, I'll see you at four." Rachel leaned in for a kiss that lingered when Emily held her tighter. When they finally parted Rachel blinked a couple times to gain her bearings and grinned "I'll…I'll see you this evening."

Later that evening as they sat on the sofa in Ina's living room Emily did her best to control her emotions. The older woman, along with her family, had been so warm and inviting in addition to providing a delicious dinner. It reminded Emily of holidays spent with her own family and how much she was missing them. She startled slightly when she became aware of Ina standing in front of her.

"Emily, honey, you have to try these cookies Rachel made."

Emily took a cookie from the tray and took a bite. She looked to her girlfriend, her eyes wide "I didn't know you could make cookies. These are delicious! Please tell me you're going to make these for tomorrow."

Rachel laughed "I made plenty today so don't worry."

"You two are just so cute." Ina said causing both women to blush slightly.

"I think so too." Rachel said as she looked at the woman beside her.

They stayed for a while longer, laughing and talking while Christmas music played in the background. As they were about to leave Emily was talking to Ina's daughter in law while Rachel got their coats.

"Ready?" Rachel asked as she stepped next to the brunette. Both looked around though when they heard Ina clear her throat. The older woman was grinning and pointed to the ceiling. Rachel and Emily looked up to see they were standing under the mistletoe.

Emily looked to Rachel who was blushing then grinned "Ah, what the hell." She pressed her lips to the blonde's in a quick kiss. "You're so cute when you blush." Emily whispered as she pulled back.

Rachel chuckled "So are you."

Christmas morning rolled around and both found they were having a little trouble getting out of bed. Rachel lay watching it snow outside, enjoying her first white Christmas but all the while thinking of her friends back in LA. Of course she would be working so Elliot could spend the day with his family but she would usually be able to spend the evening with them. She thought about Fin and the Captain since neither really had any family to speak of and wondered what they would be doing. She also thought about Casey and hoped that she was doing well. Her thoughts then turned to Emily and the new relationship she found herself in. Granted it had only been a couple weeks and they were still getting to know one another but she found that the brunette made her happier than she ever had been in a relationship. Emily was so kind, funny and thoughtful, it scared Rachel because she had never felt this way this early on. She was also worried about what would happen if they called her up and informed her she could return to LA. What would she do? If she was able to go home she would certainly want to go but where would that leave them. Long distance relationships rarely worked out. Would Emily be willing to move to LA? She was just starting over here Rachel doubted her girlfriend would want to move and start over somewhere else. She decided to push the thoughts from her mind since with each passing day she had the feeling she may never return home.

Emily glanced at the clock on her bedside table. It was a little after nine and she was supposed to be at Rachel's at eleven but with each passing minute she found she was having more trouble getting up. She rolled back over and continued to stare out the window at the falling snow. She allowed her mind to drift to her family and what they might be doing. New York was an hour ahead of Wisconsin which meant it would be after ten am. If she were home she would be sitting in her parents' house enjoying a cup of her Mom's homemade hot chocolate. She had considered making some for herself on a few of the cold nights but couldn't bring herself to do so. Memories of Christmas past began flashing through her mind as she lay there. Images of she and her cousins as kids playing outside in the snow, the beautifully decorated tree sitting in the corner that her Dad always insisted had to be real. She could picture her Uncle Bill and her Dad discussing city politics and sports. Her Mom and her aunt in the kitchen preparing dinner while they caught up on the latest gossip. She wasn't even aware she had begun crying until she could feel the wet spot forming on the pillow. She pulled the corner of the sheet up and wiped her eyes but it did little to stop the flow of tears.

Emily lay there quietly for a few more minutes before picking up the phone and holding it in her hand. She didn't want to cancel on Rachel she had been looking forward to the day but now she didn't know if she could go through with it. She was just about to dial the blonde's number when the phone rang, Rachel's name displayed on the screen. She cleared her throat before answering "Hello?"

"Hey!" Rachel said.

"Hey."

Rachel could hear something in her girlfriend's voice and she was also pretty sure she had been crying. She chalked it up to Emily missing her Mom "Merry Christmas."

Emily could hear the smile in Rachel's voice and just picturing her smile made her mood lighten a bit "Merry Christmas."

"So I just wanted to call and make sure we're still on for today."

Emily sighed, she would love nothing more than to stay in bed all day but hearing the excitement in Rachel's voice she knew she couldn't cancel on her now "Of course we are. I was just about to get ready."

Rachel grinned "Okay I'll let you go. See you in a bit."

Just under an hour later Emily was standing at Rachel's door. She smiled when the door opened and she saw the blonde smiling back at her. She stepped inside "Merry Christmas."

Rachel closed the door then stepped close for a quick kiss "Merry Christmas."

"Mmm…Merry Christmas to you too."

After taking her coat off and settling in Emily reached into the bag she was carrying. She handed over a bottle of wine then shyly pulled out a small wrapped box. "I know we didn't really say anything about gifts but I saw it and I had to get it."

Rachel laughed "Thank you." she then reached over to the coffee table and handed Emily a box "Like you said, I just had to get it."

They sat down and unwrapped their gifts; a matching hat, scarf and gloves set for Rachel and a blue cashmere sweater for Emily. They leaned in for a thank you kiss that turned into a slow, lingering kiss. Emily slid her hand along Rachel's thigh, slowly circling until it was around her waist and lightly caressing her back through her shirt. Rachel sighed into the kiss as she felt Emily's hand on her back. She couldn't believe the things the brunette made her feel just by kissing her. She wondered what else Emily could make her feel but quickly shook the thought from her mind, it was too early to be thinking things like that. She wasn't ready let alone knowing if Emily was. She wrapped her arm around Emily's shoulder and pulled her closer.

Emily jerked slightly as Rachel's hand pressed into her shoulder, causing her to hiss as she pulled back.

"What's wrong?" Rachel asked worriedly.

Emily took a deep breath and moved around a bit as the pain went away. She was still sore at times if she moved the wrong way or bumped into something. Never mind how the cold could make it hurt especially first thing in the morning. "My shoulder."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Emily grabbed her girlfriend's hands "Its okay I promise. You didn't know."

They sat quietly for a few minutes allowing Emily to recover. As she did so Rachel watched her and could tell there was something just beneath the surface. She wasn't sure if now was the time to ask but decided to give it a shot. "What's wrong with your shoulder?"

Emily blew out a breath before looking her in the eye "I'd rather not talk about it right now. Maybe later?"

"Sure."

Two hours later they stood looking at Rachel's dining room table. "Not bad for two people who aren't too great at cooking, huh?" Rachel asked as she lit a couple candles and took a seat at the end of the table. A spread of turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing and cranberry sauce. In addition to some leftover dessert from Ina.

Emily took a seat to her right and laughed "Not bad at all, but this was made by someone who isn't too great at cooking and someone who sucks at cooking."

"You don't suck." Rachel said as she squeezed Emily's hand. "You made the mashed potatoes and gravy and they look great." She took a bite and smiled "And it tastes delicious."

Emily rolled her eyes but had to laugh "They are instant potatoes and the gravy came from a jar. It's not like Julia Child fixed this dinner."

Rachel quickly kissed her cheek before going back to eating "Well I'd take this over something from Julia Child any day."

After lunch and cleaning up they settled in on couch to see what was on. "So is there anything in particular you would like to watch?"

Emily shook her head "I've always liked It's a Wonderful Life. I bet it will be on later."

Rachel checked the guide on the tv "It'll be on tonight. We can watch it if you want."

"Well I know you like A Christmas Carol is there anything else you would like to watch?"

A title caught her eye on the screen and Rachel began to smile "I used to love watching Miracle on 34th Street when I was a kid. Do you mind if we watch it?"

Emily shook her head no as she wondered if she could keep her emotions in check while watching. Here she was trying her best not to think of home and Rachel had just asked to watch a movie that was synonymous with New York and Christmas. She shifted and moved throughout the movie finally excusing herself to go to the restroom when she could no longer hold back her tears.

Rachel had carefully watched Emily throughout the afternoon and now the early evening and she couldn't turn off the detective part of her mind that the brunette was hiding something. She chalked some of it up to her missing her mother as she had admitted the day before. Even though she wasn't close to her own mother she was missing her. She also noticed more than once that Emily had been favoring her shoulder. She tried not to pry but did ask again if she was okay to which Emily said she was. They had decided to watch a choral program on the local access channel before starting the final movie of the evening.

Emily held the blanket up as Rachel returned from the kitchen with a plate of cookies and two cups of hot chocolate. She smiled as the blonde settled back in next to her and pulled the blanket back over them. As the choir wrapped up their program with Silent Night as much as she was missing her family Emily realized she hadn't felt so calm and at peace in ages as what she felt in that exact moment. She sat up slightly and turned to face the blonde "Can we talk?"

"Of course." She said as she turned the tv down and turned to face the other woman.

"Okay, so…you know how you asked about my shoulder earlier?" Rachel nodded. "Well there's something I need to tell you. I mean if this relationship continues like I hope it will you will eventually find out anyway but I'd like to tell you now."

Rachel placed her hand over Emily's that was resting on the back of the couch. "You can talk to me about anything."

"Okay." Emily blew out a breath "Remember how I told you about how I worked in a bank before I moved here?" Rachel nodded "Well, I was…" images from that night outside the bar began flashing through her mind and she had to take a deep breath to remain calm "I was shot."

Rachel's eyes went wide and her jaw dropped slightly "Shot? How?"

"The usual way." Emily said sarcastically in an effort to lighten the mood.

It took Rachel a second to catch on and she grinned as she ran her fingers along Emily's forearm "You're okay now though, right? I mean no lasting effects?"

Emily shook her head "I'm okay. I mean it still hurts from time to time depending on what I'm doing or if I sleep on it too long. The cold makes it hurt too."

"So were they like holding you up specifically or how did it happen? If you don't mind my asking."

Emily closed her eyes for a moment as she pictured the pages she had studied repeatedly. "We all stayed behind the counter. They had incapacitated the guard. We thought it was over they didn't take too much because we only had a couple teller windows open at the time. We thought we were going to get by without them firing any shots but one of them bumped into the counter knocking something off. I guess it startled the other guy and he fired his gun. It caught me in the shoulder. I guess it could've been worse."

Rachel was quiet for a moment. She had known there was something Emily was hiding she just didn't expect this. "I am so sorry that happened to you. It must've been awful."

"Painful would be the word I would use." She smiled halfheartedly at her attempted joke.

"I'm sure. I've seen gunshot wounds in my previous line of work." It wasn't a lie.

Emily shook her head and smiled "It's Christmas, enough bank robberies and gunshot wounds." She slid closer and snuggled further under the blanket "I was very much enjoying being curled up here with you watching movies." she leaned in for a heated kiss.

"I'm enjoying it too. I'm also enjoying this." She said as she leaned in for another kiss.

By the time It's a Wonderful Life ended both were barely awake. They were cuddled close together under the blanket, both leaning against the back of the couch and their feet propped on the coffee table and Rachel's arm around Emily as the brunette rested her head on her shoulder. There was a comfortable silence between the two and while neither knew it they were both thinking the same thoughts. The movie had them thinking about their lives, the lives they left behind, and how if their lives had not taken the drastic turn they had they never would've met.

"I really should get going." Emily whispered but made no initiative to move.

"It is getting late." Rachel replied. The question was on her lips but she knew it was too soon to ask. Not that anything would happen, she would gladly take the couch and give Emily her bed but she knew deep down it was still too soon. She wanted this one to work.

Emily sighed as she finally sat up and stretched. Part of her had hoped Rachel would ask her to stay but an even bigger part was glad she didn't. She knew it was too early in the relationship to be doing such things and she wanted to do this one right. For the first time in her life she could see herself in a relationship for the long haul.

They stood at the door, Emily already dressed for the cold night air, and held one another as they shared a long goodnight kiss. "I really like kissing you." Rachel mumbled against her girlfriend's lips.

"Mmm, I really, really like kissing you." she finally pulled back "But I have to go." She stepped out onto the porch "Do you have any plans for New Year's Eve?" Rachel shook her head no "Want to spend it at my place?"

"Sounds great."

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A week later Rachel pulled into Emily's driveway to start their New Year's Eve celebrating. It had begun snowing again likely to add another couple inches to the nearly foot of snow already on the ground. She had barely closed the door to her Jeep when she felt something hit her in the back. She turned to see Emily laughing hysterically while forming another snowball in her hand. While she knew she needed to be on defense she had to take a moment to take in Emily's outfit. She was wearing jeans and a black coat with yellow rain boots and a gray knit hat, she looked adorable. "Sneak attack? You play dirty Dawson!" Rachel leaned down and grabbed a handful of snow and began making her own snowball.

Emily continued to laugh "When it comes to snowball fights sometimes you have to play dirty!" she finished her sentence just as Rachel launched a snowball at her. Her laughter grew till she was struggling to catch her breath when Rachel fell while trying to throw another snowball. She rushed over to make sure she was okay but continued to laugh "Oh my God, are you okay?" When she saw Rachel's head pop up from behind a pile of snow she couldn't help but notice how cute the blonde looked in her cream knit cap with the two little tufts on top, the very one she bought her for Christmas.

"Yeah." Rachel groaned as she tried to get up but her feet were on a little patch of snow covered ice and no matter what she did she continued to slip "Damnit I can't get up!" she laughed which only made matters worse when it came to getting up.

"Here let me help you." Emily extended her hand but was of little use because she lost her balance and fell as she began pulling Rachel up.

They lay there in the snow in Emily's little front yard laughing hysterically. When they finally calmed down a bit Emily leaned in for a quick kiss "You look adorable in that hat."

"You look quite cute yourself."

They lay there for a few minutes simply staring at one another choosing to ignore the cold as it began seeping through their clothes. Rachel was about to make an attempt at getting up when Emily grabbed her arm "Let's make a snow angel."

"Huh?"

"A snow angel. Haven't you ever heard of that?"

"Yes I know what a snow angel is."

"Come on, let's make one." Emily said as she stood and moved over to an area of undisturbed snow. She held her arms out and fell backwards then began moving her arms and legs in a sweeping motion. "Come on!"

Rachel stepped just to her side and fell backwards mimicking her moves. When finished she stood and admired their work. "That's the first time I've ever done that."

"Well I'm glad I could share your first time."

"Well I'm glad I got to share it with you too." Rachel whispered as she leaned in for a kiss. It was short lived when the sound of a car door slamming startled them. They turned in time to see the pizza delivery that Emily had ordered.

The rest of the evening was spent sprawled out on the couch eating pizza and snacks while flipping through the channels watching bits and pieces of different New Year's Eve programs. As it grew later in the evening Rachel found herself lying on the couch with Emily half laying on top of her. The brunette had dozed off and Rachel decided to just enjoy the closeness and allow her to sleep for a little bit. She lightly ran her hand along Emily's arm but was mindful of the brunette's shoulder. She sighed and smiled when she felt Emily's arm wrap tighter around her waist. She forced thoughts of how she ended up here and what would happen if she was told she could return home from her mind. This was too wonderful a moment to think of such things.

Emily woke and had to stop herself from panicking when she felt the body she was curled around. However when she breathed in the scent of Rachel's perfume she immediately relaxed. "Sorry I fell asleep."

"It's okay. I was gonna make sure you were awake in plenty of time to ring in the New Year."

Emily nodded slightly. She looked down at where her hand was resting on Rachel's abdomen and couldn't help the bit of excitement she felt when she saw a tiny bit of olive toned skin peeking out from under Rachel's shirt. In an emboldened moment she carefully slipped her hand under Rachel's shirt. Feeling a slight shiver from the woman beneath her she wondered if she had made a mistake "Okay?"

"I'm good." Rachel replied as she willed her body to relax. When she felt Emily's fingers lightly move over her scar she looked down into questioning eyes. "From an accident."

"Care to share?" Emily asked as she rose up slightly so they could look eye to eye, her fingers still lightly moving over Rachel's skin.

"It happened at work. A patient came in one night, he was a paranoid schizophrenic, and he had a knife on him we didn't know about. One minute he was fine and the next he thought the doc was trying to kill him. I just happened around the corner at the wrong time and next thing I knew I had been stabbed." The images of what really happened flashed through her mind as she told her carefully crafted lie. Seeing the look of shock on Emily's face she shrugged "It could've been worse. They had to operate to stop some internal bleeding but that was it."

Emily leaned in for another kiss. "I'm glad you're okay. I hate to think I would've never met you."

Rachel felt a lump in her throat at the words "Same here baby, same here." She said as she pulled her back to her.

Their little make out session lasted longer than the previous one that evening but was cut short when Rachel saw it was almost eleven. Rachel refreshed their drinks and straightened up some of their mess while Emily excused herself upstairs briefly. They had watched the ball drop in Time's Square and since they were an hour behind the East coast were now waiting to watch a celebration from Chicago on a local channel. Little did Rachel know Emily had excused herself in order to get her emotions under control at watching her city celebrate the New Year.

"I grabbed each of us a soda, is that okay?" Rachel had limited herself to one beer knowing she would have to drive back home that night. There would be more than enough drunk drivers on the road, she didn't need to add herself to that crowd as well.

"That's fine."

Rachel turned to look over her shoulder and she was sure she stopped breathing when she saw Emily wearing a pair of brown, almost tortoise shell framed glasses. She swallowed a couple times to try and find her voice. How had she not known that Emily wore glasses? "Since when did you start wearing glasses?"

Emily chuckled at the expression on the blonde's face "Since forever. I guess staying up at night and reading by flashlight as a kid ruined my eyes. I usually wear contacts but every now and then I wear these. After falling asleep my contacts were hurting my eyes so I switched." Then deciding to tease "Do you not like them?" adding a slight pout.

Rachel reached out her hand and quickly pulled Emily down onto her lap causing her to squeal "Oh I like them…I like them a lot." She placed her hand on the back of Emily's head and pulled her in for a heated kiss. "It doesn't matter what you do you can't not look beautiful, can you?"

"You're good for my ego." She said with another kiss. They stayed that way, sharing kisses and looking at one another until they heard the countdown. When they could hear the cheers from the crowd, the music playing and the fireworks in the background their lips met in another kiss, this one slower but no less passionate. "Happy New Year baby." Emily whispered as she ran her fingers through Rachel's hair at the back of her neck.

"Happy New Year." Rachel replied as she lightly traced her fingers along Emily's jaw line.

They watched a little bit of the celebrations in Chicago before getting up and straightening up their mess from the evening. When finished Emily pulled Rachel to her and began to sway to the music coming from the radio they had been listening to. "I know you have to go but I want one dance."

"You got it."

They held one another close as they swayed to the music, Rachel's arms around Emily's shoulders while Emily's arms were around Rachel's waist. After a couple songs Rachel regrettably pulled back "As much as I hate to I'm gonna have to go."

"I know." Emily said as she watched the blonde put on her boots then her coat and hat. She pulled Rachel in for a hug and held on tight "Please be careful. There's gonna be a lot of drunks out tonight."

"I know, and I promise I'll be careful."

"Call me?"

"As soon as I'm in the door." Rachel leaned in for another kiss, then one more after that one ended chuckling as she pulled back "Okay I've really got to go."

"Okay. Be careful."

Rachel waved as she made her way down the walk, laughing as she passed their snow angels. Once in the car she sat and waited a moment for it to warm up. She watched as Emily closed the door then stepped to the living room window to wave goodbye. _'I could fall in love with her.'_ Rachel thought to herself _'I could see a future with her.'_ A bright smile spreading across her face "Who am I kidding, I am falling in love with her."

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**A/N: In case you wonder about the hats I mentioned them wearing I took inspiration from both Stephanie and Mariska's instagram. There are pics of both of them wearing those hats there.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: As always thank you all for your reviews! Another long chapter but I think you'll like it. Thank you all for sticking with me in between updates. I always intend to get them out faster than I do but it doesn't always work that way. I own nothing but my own characters. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 11

Emily stared at her computer screen wishing the day could be over. It was Friday afternoon and she had a date with Rachel that night. What their evening included she didn't know, all she could get out of her girlfriend was 'It's a surprise.' She glanced at her clock again she had almost an hour left before she could pack up and leave for the day. Not that she didn't like her job, she did, it was just now that she had gotten the hang of it she was getting a little bored. She enjoyed the interaction with people who came in but the work was a little tedious. She had heard earlier in the week that they were needing more help investigating frauds and suspicious claims. She was planning on mentioning it to Janet in hopes she could help. At least it would allow her to use her investigating skills and allow her to put her knowledge of the law to use. A knock on her office door startled her out of her thoughts.

"Last hour of the day is always the worst." Janet said as she walked in.

"It's even worse on Friday evening." Emily said as she put away the file she was working on. "I'm sure you didn't come down her to talk about how the time drags on."

Janet grinned as she took a seat. "No I didn't. I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Okay." Emily wasn't sure whether she should be excited or nervous.

"Would you be interested in learning how to investigate possible fraudulent cases? Our office processes all the potential fraud cases for this part of the state and we could always use a little extra help. I think you are doing an excellent job and you are a fast learner. You don't have to decide today. Take the weekend to think about it and let me know."

Emily was becoming excited until a random thought entered her mind. What if she had to go to court over a case? What if it was a high profile case and there were reporters there and her picture somehow ended up in the paper or on television? She nodded slowly as she considered the offer "Would I have to go to court over any of these cases?"

"No, corporate attorney's handle that. All we do is the research and investigation. It's mostly going over files, documents, police reports, things like that. To many it sounds like very boring work and I won't lie at times it can be, but I also know that most of the people who have done it have enjoyed it. Like I said, I don't need an answer today."

Emily couldn't hide the smile on her face "Thank you for the opportunity and your confidence in me. It sounds very exciting. I'll let you know Monday." She waited until she knew Janet was out of earshot before hitting her hand against the desk "Yes!"

At a few minutes till five Rachel went in search of her boss "Is it okay if I head out a few minutes early?"

"Well I don't think the place would fall apart if you did." she said with a smile.

"Great!" Rachel said with a smile "I'll see you Monday morning." She grabbed her things and left, catching the elevator at the end of the hall and hoping she'd make it up to Emily's office before she left. They had now been dating for almost two months and Rachel couldn't remember the last time she was this happy. Actually if she was being honest with herself she had never been this happy. Emily made her feel things she'd never felt before. She wasn't in love with the brunette, yet, but every day she felt her feelings grow a little stronger. And based simply on the way Emily looked at her she was starting to think her girlfriend felt the same way. Upon entering the office she nodded to the receptionist then headed down the hall toward Emily's office. She stood quietly in the doorway and watched her girlfriend as she worked. Emily was sitting at her desk filling out some papers, her glasses had slid down her nose and her chin was resting on her hand. She looked beautiful.

Emily glanced at the clock and saw it was almost five and decided to call it a day. She began packing up her desk when she caught sight of Rachel standing in the doorway "Stalker much?" she asked without looking up.

"I can't help it that you're so beautiful I briefly forgot how to speak." Rachel said as she entered the room and took a seat.

Emily looked over her glasses at the blonde "You're not just a stalker, you're full of it too." She stood and walked around her desk and leaned in for a brief kiss. "Lucky for you I like you too much to press charges."

Rachel wrapped her hand around Emily's wrist and pulled her back to her "That's good to know."

They made their way downstairs and over to Emily's car. They had begun carpooling on the days that they had to be in at the same time as a way to spend more time together. "So what's the plans for the evening?" Emily asked nonchalantly.

"Good try but I'm not telling. You'll find out soon enough."

"Oh! I almost forgot to tell you." Emily said as she pulled up in front of Rachel's house. "Janet asked if I would be interested in learning how to investigate possible fraudulent cases. It could be a move up."

"Congratulations!" Rachel smiled brightly as she leaned over for a kiss "I'm proud of you."

Emily's eyes lit up at the blonde's words, she had never dated anyone who took pride in her or her work. Rachel was different though, she was genuinely proud of her…Emily could see it in her eyes.

Emily grew nervous as she looked at her outfit in the mirror, her dress would make part of her scar visible. It was continuing to heal nicely but it would forever be a reminder of what she had been through. All she knew about their evening was Rachel told her to dress up for a night on the town. The dress she was wearing was one she had purchased a few months prior but wasn't sure she would ever wear because of her scar.

Once she was ready Emily busied herself straightening up while she waited. She reflected on the last couple months that they had been dating, she had never felt as safe or comfortable with another person as she did with Rachel. While she still feared for her safety, grew nervous if a stranger looked at her just a little too long, she had this feeling deep down that as long as she was with Rachel she was safe.

Rachel walked up to Emily's door trying her best not to fall in the freshly fallen snow. She was really growing tired of the cold and snow. The only upside to the cold winter evenings was having dinner at one of their homes and curling up together for the evening on the couch and watching a movie. She began grinning as she thought about how curling up together usually led to kissing which eventually led to making out. Their relationship was steadily progressing and both were more than happy with the pace they were going at. There was no rush, no hurry, they were happy to simply be together. When she reached the door she rang the bell pulled her coat closer to ward off the cold. She wished she had taken the brief moment to prepare for seeing her girlfriend.

Emily opened the door and had to laugh at the look on Rachel's face. The blonde's eyes were wide and her mouth slightly open, she was so cute. "Are you gonna stand there in the cold or come in for a few minutes?"

"Huh?"

Emily laughed as she grabbed Rachel's hand and pulled her inside. She leaned in for a welcoming kiss "I was wondering if you were just going to stand there all night."

Rachel took Emily's hand in her own as she stepped back to take in her outfit. "You look amazing!" Emily was wearing a sleeveless, knee length red dress. The outfit was finished off with black and white stilettos, her hair was down and lightly curled, and she was wearing her glasses. Rachel thought she couldn't look more beautiful. She pulled Emily back to her and wrapped an arm around her waist "You are so beautiful."

Emily smiled as she reached up and lightly ran her fingers along Rachel's neck and up behind her head pulling her in for another kiss "You are quite beautiful yourself." When the kiss finally broke she pulled back and grinned "Now I think it's only fair I get to see your outfit."

Rachel opened her black coat and chuckled at the look on the brunette's face.

Emily felt the smile spreading across her face as she took in her girlfriend's outfit. Rachel was wearing a classic sleeveless little black dress with black heels and her hair combed straight. She was going for simple yet classic but to Emily her outfit screamed classic and amazing. "Whoever created the little black dress obviously had you in mind when they designed it."

"You're so full of it." Rachel laughed as she helped Emily with her coat, kissing her once it was on "It's one of the many, many things that makes you so attractive."

"Uh huh, talk about being full of it." Emily said as she locked the door and took Rachel's hand as they headed to the car.

Emily tried her best all throughout the ride into the city to find out what the plan for the evening was but Rachel wouldn't budge. When they pulled up in front of one of the fanciest restaurants in town she looked over in surprise, she had mentioned reading about it in the newspaper but she never imagined Rachel would bring her here. "Trying to class up our dates are you Ms. Martin?"

Rachel chuckled as she took Emily's coat along with her own and handed them over to be checked then placed her hand on the small of the brunette's back as they followed the hostess. "It's not like we have pizza and beer every date, but I wanted to do something very nice this evening." she smiled sincerely when Emily turned and met her gaze "You're worth it."

Emily's heart melted just a bit more at the sincerity in the blonde's eyes, it was a feeling that she found she was having more often. "You're worth it too."

Their meal was filled with talk and laughter, occasionally drawing the attention of a few people at the tables around them. To those watching they assumed the couple had been together for years, and on some level both Emily and Rachel were starting to feel as if they had known one another for years as well.

"Dessert looks really good but I'm not sure I could eat it." Rachel said as she shifted in her chair.

"Why don't we share one?" Emily asked as she glanced over the dessert menu. "That chocolate lava cake sounds really good." She said with a smile.

"I'm gonna have to hit the gym extra this week." Rachel replied as she motioned the waiter over.

By the time they had finished their dessert Rachel couldn't wait to get outside in the cold evening air. Sitting across the table from Emily, listening to her moan in pleasure at how much she was enjoying her dessert was nearly her undoing. Things were progressing between them but they had yet to add a physical aspect to their relationship aside from making out. She took a few deep breaths as she signed the credit card slip allowing her to calm down a bit. It was pointless though as she looked up and watched as Emily scraped the last of the chocolate from the dish and licked the spoon, her eyes closed and a smile on her face.

"That was delicious." She said as she opened her eyes. "What?" Emily chuckled at the look on Rachel's face. The blonde's eyes were wide and her jaw was slightly open "What?"

"Uh…um…nothing." Rachel shook her head as she stood and reached her hand out for Emily's.

Emily shrugged it off as she stood but now it was her turn to have the wide-eyed, open mouth look. It was the first time that evening she got sight of Rachel from behind, and while she did always enjoy the view, she enjoyed it even more so this evening. Rachel's black dress dipped lower in the back than what Emily expected it to allowing her to see the majority of her girlfriend's back. When she felt a slight tug on her hand she looked up to meet Rachel's slightly confused expression.

"Coming?" Rachel asked as she started walking toward the door.

'_Why did she have to use that word?'_ Emily groaned to herself as she followed along.

When they pulled up to the parking area for the Madison Symphony Emily couldn't hide her excitement. "The symphony? Are you serious?"

"Well I had noticed you had a few classical cd's in your collection and you had mentioned once that sometimes you listen to classical music to relax." She was taken off guard when Emily quickly leaned across the seat and pressed their lips together.

"You are so wonderful, do you know that?"

Rachel grinned and shrugged as she tried to keep the tears from her eyes "Well I try."

Emily reached up and lightly brushed her fingers through Rachel's hair where it was growing out a bit in the front. "Sweetheart there's no trying. You are so amazing, no one has ever treated me as wonderfully as you do."

Now Rachel couldn't stop the few tears that escaped. "I've never been with someone who treats me as well as you do either."

Both were quiet for a few minutes as they allowed what had been said to sink in. Their feelings had been deepening and growing stronger, but neither were ready say it just yet. They could feel it though, the words were slowly bubbling up inside and both silently knew it wouldn't be long before they would find their way out.

"I guess we need to get going if we plan to see the concert." Rachel said as she cleared her throat and pulled the sun visor down to check her makeup in the mirror.

Emily chuckled as she did the same on her side "I never pegged you for the type to enjoy the symphony."

"I'm just full of surprises." She said as they met in front of the car and joined hands. _'You have no idea.'_ She thought to herself.

Rachel found she was enjoying the concert more than she thought she would as she listened to the musicians play. Not that she didn't appreciate classical music, she did find some of it to be relaxing, it just wasn't really her style of music. She did however enjoy seeing the look of happiness on Emily's face. Just knowing her girlfriend was enjoying the evening made it all worthwhile. When a certain selection caught her attention she debated whether or not to say anything for fear of looking stupid but when she giggled and it caught Emily's attention she knew she was busted.

"What?" Emily whispered as she leaned closer.

"I just keep expecting to see Bugs Bunny run across the stage." She was grateful for the darkened auditorium so Emily wouldn't see her blush.

Emily covered her mouth to cover up her laughter as she squeezed Rachel's hand "You're not the only one. I was just having a flashback to sitting in the floor on Saturday morning eating a bowl of cereal and watching cartoons."

While they played mostly classical pieces the orchestra did play a few more modern pieces and old standards. When the first notes of Moon River began playing Rachel sighed and leaned in closer to the brunette. One of her favorite scenes from Breakfast at Tiffany's was the opening scene showing an empty Manhattan street as the music played. Her other favorite was when Holly Golightly sat on her window sill and sang the song. She looked over when she felt Emily rest her head on her shoulder and pulled her hand up to kiss the back of it.

Emily bit her bottom lip at the romantic gesture but she was finding it a little difficult to enjoy the music as she easily pictured Fifth Avenue and Tiffany's store front in her mind. She wondered what it would be like to walk down that same street while holding Rachel's hand. She closed her eyes as she pictured the scene so clearly. They would be up early on a Sunday morning and go to a bakery for a pastry and coffee then walk down Fifth Avenue and have breakfast in front of the iconic store. She was pretty sure Rachel would love it…she only hoped she would someday get the chance to do so.

"Are you okay?" Rachel whispered when she was sure she had felt a tear hit her arm.

Emily just nodded.

As the concert drew to a close the orchestra began playing their final selection for the evening. The first few notes had barely been played when Emily sat up a little straighter and began smiling.

"I take it you like this song?"

Emily looked to her left and smiled brightly "It's Pachelbel's Canon in D. I love this song!"

Rachel watched in amusement and enjoyment as Emily smiled, her body swaying slightly to the music. Even though the auditorium was slightly darkened Rachel was certain she could see a sparkle in the brunette's blue eyes. "It's a beautiful song."

"I always thought," Emily whispered while leaning in closer "If I ever got married I want this song to be played at some point. I didn't work out if I wanted it in the ceremony or the reception but I've wanted this song played at my wedding since the first time I heard it."

"It would be a great wedding song." It was still early, too early to think such things, but Rachel made a promise to never forget what she'd just been told.

As they entered the lobby Emily nodded toward the restrooms while Rachel headed over to look through some of the cd's that were being sold of past performances. She decided on one for herself and one for Emily.

As Emily made her way back through the crowd she couldn't get over what a special evening Rachel had planned for her. No one she had ever dated had been willing to take her to the symphony. If she did take a date she could always tell they were less than thrilled with going. With Rachel it was different, the blonde seemed genuinely interested and appeared to have had a good time. As she rounded the corner back into the lobby she caught sight of her date and once again gasped at the sight of her in her dress. Rachel had her back to her so it allowed her a few extra moments to take her in. While it was low cut in the front she was still surprised Rachel was wearing something so low cut in the back. Emily shook her head as her eyes slowly traveled over her girlfriend's olive toned skin. _'She is amazing.'_ Emily thought to herself. _'What I wouldn't give to run my tongue down her spine.'_

Rachel began walking over when she saw Emily standing off to the side. She noticed the brunette seemed to be staring off into space and it made her wonder what she was thinking. "Ready to go?" When she didn't receive a reply she lightly touched Emily's forearm causing the brunette to jump slightly then blush. "Hey, where were you? It looked like you were out in right field somewhere."

Emily hoped she wasn't blushing as much as her face was burning "Oh nothing, just thinking." She cleared her throat to help regain her composure as well as restore a little moisture to her mouth "So, um, ready?"

"I am if you are."

Rachel pulled into the small driveway and parked the car. "I had a really great time tonight."

"So did I." Emily whispered as she leaned in for a kiss. When she pulled back they simply stared at one another for a minute before she spoke again "You want to come in? Maybe have a drink or a cup of tea?"

It was far from the first time she had been in Emily's home and it definitely wasn't the first time they had invited each other in after a date but something felt different this time and it caused Rachel to hesitate.

"You don't have to if you don't want to." Emily said sensing the change in the blonde.

"No it's not that." her eyes darted around in the dark for a moment, then smiling "I'd love to come in."

Rachel stood at the counter pouring them each a cup of tea while Emily looked to see if what she had in the way of a snack. When she turned around she took a moment to watch the blonde again from behind only this time without and audience. In a sudden moment of boldness she walked over and wrapped her arms around Rachel's waist, whispering in her ear "Do you know how absolutely gorgeous you look tonight?"

Rachel felt a tingle throughout her body at the feeling of Emily's breath against her ear. "You've told me once or twice." She reached down and rested her hands over Emily's that were clasped over her stomach "You look quite gorgeous yourself this evening as well." she turned her head slightly to kiss her girlfriend.

They stayed that way for a few minutes until Rachel finally turned in Emily's embrace and wrapped her arms around her shoulders. She tangled her fingers in long brown locks enjoying the little sighs she heard coming from the blonde. Emily kept her arms securely around Rachel's waist. When she felt Rachel's tongue brushing against her lips she gladly opened her mouth and allowed her entry. Leaving one hand low on Rachel's back Emily began lightly trailing her fingers up and down the blonde's spine. Smiling into the kiss when she heard a moan escape Rachel's lips.

Rachel was glad they were leaning against the counter when she felt Emily's fingers tracing her spine as she was certain her knees buckled for a brief moment. It was not the first time they had made out nor was it the first time she had felt Emily's hands on her skin but this time it was different. Emily was making her feel things she hadn't felt in a long time, and if she was being honest she was feeling things she had never felt.

When their kiss finally ended they slowly opened their eyes, both were flushed, their lips red and swollen, both were breathing deeply to catch their breath. Both could feel a shift in their relationship but was afraid to mention it first. Finally Emily took a deep breath and spoke "Are you feeling the same thing I am?"

"Yeah." Rachel whispered.

Not wanting to break contact Emily took Rachel's hand in her own as they walked into the living room while Emily locked up. She turned back to the blonde and could see the nervousness in her eyes, the same nervousness that she was sure was showing in her own. She leaned in for a gentle kiss hoping to give time for her nerves to settle down.

"Are you sure?" Rachel asked.

"I'm sure." Emily said as she turned and began pulling Rachel toward the stairs.

Once in Emily's bedroom their nerves were showing as both their hands grew clammy in one another's. In an attempt to calm herself Rachel took a moment to look around Emily's room taking in what a soothing, calming space it was. She reached out and pulled Emily into her arms. "Um…it's been a while since I've done this." then chuckling nervously "It's been a long while."

"Me too." Emily laughed lightly "It's been a long time for me too."

"Let's just take it slow. So far everything in our relationship has happened naturally so let's keep it that way. We can take it slow tonight and whatever happens, happens. I want you to promise me though that if you want to stop or don't want to do something you'll tell me. All you have to say is stop and I'll stop. I promise."

Emily nodded "As long as you promise me the same thing." Their lips met again in a slow kiss that began growing as their passion took over. They kicked their shoes off as Emily slid her hands around Rachel's back and began to unzip her dress.

Rachel pulled back for lack of air and began placing light kisses along Emily's neck and across her shoulders. "You're so beautiful." She said as she unzipped her dress and began pulling it from her shoulders as the brunette did the same to her. Both shyly looked down as their dresses landed at their feet.

Emily looked away though when Rachel lightly ran her fingers over her scar.

"Did I hurt you?"

Emily shook her head and sighed. "It's just…it's just ugly. It's a permanent reminder of what happened."

Drawing on her own experience and feelings Rachel cupped Emily's cheek in her hand "It's also a reminder that you're a survivor, that you're a fighter." Seeing a tear slip down Emily's cheek she wiped it with her thumb before kissing her chastely. She reached out and slipped her fingers under the strap of Emily's bra and began sliding them down. She leaned in and as gently as she could, placed a kiss to Emily's scar. "I think it's beautiful." She reached around and unhooked the brunette's bra and let it fall to the floor.

Emily made quick work of Rachel's bra and pulled her close. Both sighing at the feel of topless bodies pressed together for the first time. She ran her hands up Rachel's sides and cupped a breast in each hand. "These are even better than I thought they'd be." She mumbled against Rachel's lips.

The blonde laughed "What you mean is they're huge."

"That too. Unfortunately mine aren't very big at all."

"I think they're the perfect size." She replied while gently squeezing Emily's.

Emily pulled back, reaching out and pulling down the covers. She sat down on the edge then slid over further allowing Rachel to climb in next to her. They rolled onto their sides facing one another joining hands as their kisses continued. Emily slid closer and began running her hand up Rachel's arm and down across her back pulling her closer. Rachel draped her leg over Emily's and moaned into the kiss causing the brunette to pause for a moment.

"Are you okay?"

Emily grinned a bit as she nodded "I'm good. It's just like I said, it's been a while." Then blushing as she looked down at Rachel's nearly naked body "I suddenly feel like a nervous virgin all over again."

Rachel laughed, a laugh Emily found she absolutely loved, which helped ease the tension a bit "So do I. At least now we know what we're doing."

Emily pulled Rachel back to her and after a few more kisses slowly eased onto her back pulling the blonde on top of her. She winced slightly as her shoulder was in an uncomfortable position causing Rachel to pull back. "Just give me a second to get comfortable."

Kisses continued as hands began roaming, both amazed at the goosebumps they could feel on one another's skin. Emily slipped her hands into the back of Rachel's panties pulling her close and grinding against her.

"Oh God!"

"These need to come off now." Emily said as she began pushing the garment over the blonde's hips.

Rachel rose up enough to finish sliding them the rest of the way off and hooked her fingers into the top of Emily's. She looked her girlfriend in the eye and seeing no hesitancy slid hers off as well. She settled herself between Emily's legs and began placing kisses across her neck and chest. "You are so beautiful. Absolutely beautiful."

"So are you." Emily said as Rachel rose up to kiss her again. When their lips parted she quickly rose up and closed her mouth around Rachel's breast, circling her nipple with her tongue.

"Shit!" Rachel whispered as she tried to keep her arms from giving out. She quickly straddled Emily's leg and slowly began running her hand down her body, resting her hand between her thighs. She began lightly stroking her as she leaned in for another kiss.

Emily groaned at the feeling of Rachel's hand between her legs. Wanting to give her girlfriend the same pleasure she was receiving she worked her hand between their bodies and pressed her finger against her entrance.

"Are you sure?" Rachel whispered against her lips.

"Absolutely."

They took their time, wanting to be sure they didn't hurt one another as well as take the time to learn each other's bodies. Rachel loved watching the different expressions that crossed Emily's face, the sighs and gasps. For Emily it was the look in Rachel's eyes, the way they darkened and how she just knew Rachel would never hurt her. Emily gently slipped another finger into the blonde and moaned when she felt Rachel drop her head against her shoulder. "More." She groaned.

Rachel quickly slipped a second finger into her girlfriend allowing the palm of her hand to hit her clit as she began thrusting faster. When she felt Emily's thumb rubbing against her own she nearly came undone "Right there."

"Faster." Emily panted "That's it, right there." She gasped as her head dropped further back into the pillow "So good!"

Both knew they wouldn't last much longer and were trying to draw out as much pleasure as possible. "I'm there baby, I'm right there." Rachel said between gasps for air.

"Me too. I need to come." Emily began moving her thumb at a frantic pace as she felt Rachel curl her fingers inside her. Her back arched and her eyes slammed shut as she kept her free arm around Rachel's back and held her close.

As hard as she tried not to Rachel felt her arm give out and she tried her best to avoid Emily's shoulder. She lay against the brunette struggling to catch her breath as she came down. When she finally felt she could move she raised her head and smiled at the sight in front of her as Emily had a smile on her face and was breathing deeply.

Emily blinked a couple times before pulling her hand from Rachel's back and pushing the hair from her face. "That was…"

"Yeah it was." Rachel chuckled as she leaned in for a slow kiss before rolling off and lying next to the brunette. They lay quietly for a bit before she was aware of Emily rolling onto her side, pulling the covers up tighter and draping an arm over her. "So I guess this means I'm staying?"

Emily raised her head up enough to look her in the eye and upon seeing the sparkle she knew she was joking "Well…only if you want to."

Rachel kissed her one more time "I want too."

The next morning as Emily woke she began to panic for a moment when she felt a body close to hers. As she tried to clear the fog from her mind she tried to work up the nerve to open her eyes. As her mind began clearing images from their date the evening before as well as Rachel coming home with her flooded her mind. Sighing with relief Emily opened her eyes and couldn't help but smile at the sight of Rachel asleep next to her. The blonde was laying on her side facing her, her hair a mess and her mouth slightly open. She was absolutely beautiful. Emily snuggled further under the blanket and slid a little closer and watched her girlfriend sleep.

When Rachel began to wake she felt a soreness in her muscles that she hadn't felt in a while. She smiled to herself as she remembered the night before. When she opened her eyes her smile grew wider as she saw Emily watching her. "Some people consider it creepy to watch others sleep."

"Is that so?"

Rachel nodded as she closed her eyes and yawned "Lucky for you I'm not one of those people." She saw Emily leaning in for a kiss and she pulled back slightly "I have morning breath."

"I don't care." Emily said before pressing their lips together.

They lay quietly for a while, sharing kisses and enjoying a quiet morning in bed.

"Has anyone ever told you that you have the cutest nose?" Emily said as she kissed the tip of Rachel's nose.

Rachel laughed "No, I can honestly say I've never been told that."

After a few more minutes Emily reluctantly crawled from her warm bed and pulled on a long sleeve t-shirt "I'm gonna run downstairs and get us a bite to eat. Coffee or tea?"

"Coffee please."

"Oh," Emily said she turned and looked back at the bed. "Help yourself to anything you might need in the bathroom. There's an extra toothbrush in the cabinet if you want to use it." she left the room but stepped back in and grinned as she saw Rachel sitting up in bed, the covers bunched around her waist "Don't worry about clothes, because as soon as I come back this is coming off." she said indicating her shirt.

They spent a couple hours curled up in bed, sipping coffee, eating muffins that Emily had purchased at a local bakery and talking.

"What's wrong?" Emily asked seeing Rachel look at her dress a time or two.

Rachel shook her head and ran her fingers through her hair. "I just thought, I bet my neighbors as well as yours are gonna love seeing me do the walk of shame."

Emily laughed "You don't have to do that, I'm sure I have something you can wear." She grew quiet for a moment as she wondered if last night would change their relationship. "So what are your plans for today?"

"Not much, figured I'd do some laundry, call and see what you were up to. What about you?"

"Eh, about the same."

"Well, you know," Rachel said as she looked over and smiled "You could always come over to my place and spend the day," then taking Emily's hand in hers "And night with me. Maybe have a repeat of last night?"

Emily leaned over and pressed her body against Rachel's as they shared a searing kiss. "I can't think of anything else I'd rather do."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Well this chapter was written much faster than expected. Thank you all for your reviews of the last chapter. Over 100 reviews, you guys are great! Olivia's dress in this chapter was the same as the one she wore at the beginning of Counterfeit. I know it's another long one but I think you'll like it. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 12

Rachel glanced at the clock on her bedside table as she pulled her suitcase from her closet. Her mind briefly drifted back to the day she was told she was going into hiding and how she wished she had been able to pack a suitcase. Instead all she left California with was the clothes on her back and a couple pieces of jewelry hidden away in her pocket. She shook the thought from her mind as she began going through her clothes trying to select her best outfits. Emily was due anytime and she would rather spend time with her girlfriend, not packing. No sooner than she had the thought she heard the doorbell. She walked through the house and peaked out the window, smiling at the sight of Emily standing at her door. "Hey baby."

"Hey cutie." Emily said, stopping for a kiss as she walked past. "I got Greek." She said holding up a bag "A chicken gyro for you and a Greek feta burger for me, lemon roasted potatoes to share and baklava for dessert."

"It probably won't be long before we can just walk in and say the usual." Rachel laughed as they walked into the kitchen and began setting out the food.

Emily began laughing and turned to face her girlfriend "Funny you should say that. I called and placed the order before I left home but when I walked in Constantine was behind the counter. He began smiling and said 'Let me guess, chicken gyro for your lovely lady friend.'" Emily said in her best Greek accent.

Rachel grinned as she thought of the older man who owned one of their favorite restaurants "He's a sweetheart." Then turning and looking back as they walked to the living room and took a seat on the couch to eat "Your 'lady friend' huh?"

Emily grinned and kissed her once more, this one lasting longer than the one at the door "I'll have you know I told him you are my girlfriend. He just smiled and said we are very lucky."

After finishing their meal Emily carried her bags in and left them in Rachel's living room before going into the blonde's bedroom and collapsing on the bed to watch her pack. They were going away for a little weekend trip, their first weekend away and both were excited. They had settled on visiting Memphis, Tennessee and both were excited to be in a location where the temperature would be above the low forties.

"So how was work today?" Rachel asked as she held up a shirt then hung it back.

"I finished up my latest case. It turned out the woman paid a stranger to set her house on fire so she could collect the insurance money. It really wasn't that elaborate of a scheme to be honest."

Seeing the smile on the brunette's face Rachel had to smile "You're really enjoying this new job, aren't you?"

"I love it." while it wasn't prosecuting special victims cases it did give her a satisfaction that she hadn't felt since she left New York. She rolled over and grabbed the spare phone charger off the table on her side of the bed and plugged her phone up. She smiled internally as she thought about how she had 'her side of the bed' at Rachel's. It had been almost two months since they were intimate for the first time and while they were nowhere near living together they did stay the night with one another, usually on the weekends. Things were still progressing naturally for them and both liked the pace at which their relationship was going. It didn't feel rushed and there was no pressure. The physical aspect of their relationship was continuing to grow as well. They enjoyed being able to learn one another's likes and dislikes and how their bodies responded. Emily was startled from her thoughts when Rachel tossed a dress onto the bed as she continued going through her closet.

"What do you think of this shirt?" Rachel turned and held a cream colored shirt up. Seeing the dazed look on Emily's face she snapped her fingers. Seeing the brunette jump she chuckled "Where were you?"

Emily ran her fingers over the dress and smiled "I was just thinking about the last time you wore this dress."

Rachel sat down on the edge of the bed. "Our little Valentine's Day dinner before Valentine's Day?" Even though they had been dating for a couple months at that point they had decided instead of spending money on dinner at a crowded restaurant they opted for going out for a nice dinner the weekend before. Rachel had worn a black sequined, spaghetti strap dress that fell just at her knees, while Emily had opted for a blue, long sleeved cocktail dress.

Emily leaned over pulled the blonde in for a kiss, sliding her hand around her neck and holding her in place. "Have I told you how hot you looked in that dress?"

"More than once…but I can handle hearing it again." Since they had decided against going out for Valentine's Day they spent a quiet evening in at Emily's. Rachel fixed their dinner, then spent the evening on the sofa watching sappy romantic movies. "You know," Rachel said as she pulled back "If you don't quit distracting me I won't be able to finish packing."

Emily settled back against the pillows "Well you really only need clothes to wear when we go out." then grinning mischievously. She chuckled loudly upon hearing her girlfriend groan at the thought.

Early the Thursday morning they loaded their bags into the back of Rachel's Jeep and started off on their journey for their long weekend. Their trip to Memphis would take over nine hours not counting stops for gas or stops at things that caught their attention. Emily kept her camera out for the entire trip taking pictures of the scenery and of course a few of her girlfriend. And while she thought the blonde was a good driver on more than one occasion she found the way she maneuvered in and out of traffic reminded her a lot of the way the cops in New York drove. She had been in the car with both Nick and Brian on a few occasions and at times had to wonder if she was in a car or on a carnival ride.

When they pulled up in front of the hotel Rachel looked over "What was with the death grip on the door and console a little bit ago?"

Emily eyes went wide "Umm…the way you whipped in front of that truck? You crossed two lanes of traffic in a heartbeat."

"I was gonna miss our turn if I didn't." Rachel shrugged as they walked to the back of the Jeep and began unloading their bags.

"Did you drive a race car in a previous life?"

'_No, but I have plenty of practice of driving a squad car in traffic on the LA freeways.'_ "What can I say, I'm good behind the wheel."

"That's not the only place you're good." Emily said as she quickly pecked her on the lips then started toward the door, leaving a blushing Rachel standing next to the car.

After settling in their room they began leafing through a few of the brochures Emily had picked up in the lobby. They settled on going for dinner at a barbecue place but decided relax for a bit before heading out. "So why Memphis?" Rachel asked. She had been a little curious when her girlfriend mentioned the southern city when they were discussing places to go.

"Well you've got the food, the music, we're right on the Mississippi River, plus it's the south and the weather is much warmer here than at home. Then there's Graceland."

Rachel grinned as she rose up to look the brunette in the eye "Are you an Elvis fan?" when Emily darted her eyes she started laughing "You are, aren't you!"

"No but I do enjoy some of his songs. Besides I think it would be wrong to be right here in Memphis and not go." She reached up and ran her fingers through Rachel's hair "You know what I'm most looking forward to about this trip?" Rachel shook her head "To being able to spend two days and three nights in the same room as you."

Rachel smiled, feeling tears sting her eyes but she refused to let them fall. She ran her fingers along Emily's cheek as she stared into her eyes. She could feel it deep inside, she knew how she felt for the brunette she just couldn't get the words out. Instead she leaned in for a kiss, hoping to convey exactly how she felt.

Later in the evening they walked hand in hand as the hostess led them to a table by the large windows that overlooked the Mississippi. They watched the boats and jet skis as they went by on the water and the couples passing by on walkway along the river. "Oh look it's one of the river boats!" Rachel pointed out the window "That would be cool to ride."

"Well let's look into it later and maybe we can do that before we go home."

Their eyes widened when the waitress returned with their food. "This looks so good but I don't know if I can eat all of it." Rachel said as she looked at the pile of ribs and sides in front of her.

Emily nodded, when she had ordered the brisket she figured it would be a lot but not this much. She reached for her sweet tea and raised her glass for a toast "I guess we'll just have to work extra hard tonight to work this off."

"I think that's an excellent idea."

Friday morning they woke slowly, between their trip the day before and their late night activities neither were too eager to wake. "So what's our plans today?" Rachel asked sleepily as she climbed from their bed and began pulling an outfit from her suitcase.

Emily stretched before rolling onto her side, making sure the t-shirt she was wearing rode up enough to show off her hip. Seeing Rachel's eyes run the length of her legs she knew she'd accomplished what she wanted "I'm gonna call and see if I can get us tickets for the river boat. Other than that I guess we can just play tourist and see what catches our attention."

"Okay. I won't be long." Rachel said as she pulled her shirt off, tossing it onto the bed and continuing on to the bathroom in just her panties. She laughed to herself as she caught Emily's expression out of the corner of her eye.

They spent the day wandering around the city taking in the sights. They visited a few museums and historical spots as well, including Civil War history and the National Civil Rights Museum. They bought lunch from a deli and walked to one of the many parks that lined the river, finding an empty bench where they could enjoy their meal.

"God it feels so good to be able to go out without wearing a heavy coat." Emily said as she tilted her head back to look at the cloudless sky.

"It does, doesn't it?" Rachel leaned her head on Emily's shoulder and stared out at the river in front of them. "I can't wait until it warms up and we can do this at home."

"Me either."

"You don't get motion sick do you?" Rachel asked as they were about to board the boat.

"No. I mean it's been a while since I've been on a boat but I've never gotten sick before. You?"

"I'm good."

Two hours later they walked back to their hotel, Emily's arm around Rachel trying to support her. "Are you sure you don't want me to get a cab?"

"I'd rather walk. I don't want to be in anything moving at the moment." Rachel gave her a weak smile. She couldn't believe she was so nauseous. She loved the beach, going out on boats, had been on jet skis, and that was on the ocean. She thought for sure she would be fine on the slow moving river boat on calm water, but that wasn't the case. She was fine in the beginning. They had walked on the decks outside enjoying the view and she was fine. The problem came when they ordered a glass of wine. She was fine on the first glass and even when they had a few appetizers, halfway through her second glass she realized she wasn't feeling so well. Emily had helped her to a chair and that only made matters worse. She stayed on her feet the rest of the ride to avoid getting sick. By the time she stepped off the boat she felt like she was going to collapse. She was grateful for the brunette, Emily helped over to a grassy area and she laid down taking deep breaths to try and calm her stomach. Now all she could think about was getting back to the hotel.

Once back in the room Emily helped Rachel onto the bed then grabbed a cool wash cloth from the bathroom. She folded it and laid it across her forehead. "Better?"

"Getting there." When she looked over there was nothing but pure concern being reflected in Emily's eyes. "I'm sorry for ruining the rest of our evening."

"You haven't ruined a thing."

"You haven't ate since lunch except for what little you ate on the boat. We were supposed to get dinner."

"Hey." Emily cut her off. "It's gonna be fine. It's still early. You just lay here for a bit and rest. If nothing else we can order room service later if you feel up to eating."

They had been back for about an hour and Rachel was laying in the bed alone. Emily had headed downstairs to see if she could find some ginger ale for her before she attempted any dinner. Emily had turned the lights off except for a couple lamps and she was relaxed to the point she was about to fall asleep when her phone rang. She jumped and it took her a minute to find it. Not recognizing the number she was hesitant to answer "Hello?"

"Hey Rachel! How are ya?"

Rachel blinked for a moment as she tried to clear her mind. She started to panic for a moment when she recognized Tyler's voice, but calmed after she realized if it was serious he wouldn't sound so happy. "Hey Tyler. I'm good, you?"

"I'm good. Just wanted to call and check in on you, it's been a while since I've talked to you. It was what back before Christmas wasn't it?"

"Yeah I guess it was." She was quiet for a minute "So any news?" out of fear of someone tracking the phone call or listening in she wasn't about to mention her stabbing or the gang.

"Nothing new I'm afraid."

"That's what I figured."

"So how's it going? Are you really doing okay?"

"Yeah, work is good, I really enjoy it." she smiled then "I'm seeing someone."

Tyler laughed "The same someone you were seeing the last time I talked to you?"

"Yes the same someone."

"How's that going?"

"It's good…really, really good. She's great. She's so good to me. We're on a little weekend getaway right now."

"Really?!" he raised his voice and asked in a teasing manner.

"Shut up Tyler." Rachel laughed. "I'm really glad I found her. She's made this a lot easier."

"Sounds like you two are getting close." When Rachel said they were he sighed "You can't tell her."

"I know that."

"I'm serious Rachel. It's fine that you've met someone and could possibly make a life with her but you can't tell her. I'm not saying that she's out to get you or anything like that. It's just if you say anything that's it I'll have to pull you. Once your cover is blown you're out of there. I've known people in the past who have told a close friend or a significant other and we've had to pull them for their own safety."

Rachel looked out the window and ran her fingers through her hair as she thought about what had been said. She knew she couldn't tell Emily but she the thought had crossed her mind a time or two. "I know I can't. I won't tell her I promise." Then feeling a heaviness in her chest at the thought of getting pulled at a moment's notice "I can't lose her."

"I really am happy for you Rachel. I truly am."

"Thanks Tyler."

"Okay I've got to go but you know how to reach me if you need me."

"Wait, do you have a new number?"

"No, but you've got the number you can reach me on if you need me. Enjoy your vacation!" the line went dead.

Rachel sat her phone back on the table and laid back on the bed with a sigh. She knew she couldn't tell Emily and in all honesty she had no plans to but she would admit she had thought about it. After talking to Tyler though she knew deep down she couldn't. She trusted her girlfriend but what if Emily slipped and said something? She was already worried that if the gang had somehow tracked her down they could do something to Emily to get to her. She shook her head, the thought of leaving the brunette sealed the deal, there was no way she was telling Emily her secret.

"Hey." Emily said as she reentered the room "I didn't think to ask what you liked so I got ginger ale, Sprite and some club soda."

"Thank you. Ginger ale is fine."

Emily poured some into a cup and handed it to her "Feeling any better?"

"Actually I am." she reached up and pushed Emily's hair behind her ear and pressed a kiss to her cheek "You're always taking care of me when I get sick. What would I do without you?"

"Be sick all on your own I guess."

Rachel laughed "I think I'm up to having a little dinner. You wanna pick somewhere to go?"

"Why don't we stay in and order room service? I looked over the menu and it looks very good." Seeing Rachel about to speak she held up her hand "This way if you don't feel like eating you're right here and can lay down. Instead of going out tonight we can go out for a nice breakfast in the morning."

"You know," Rachel said with a grin, "You missed your calling. You should've been a lawyer, you're very convincing."

Emily smiled but quickly turned her head to grab the room service menu and keep Rachel from seeing her tears. She wiped her eyes before turning back around "I'll just use my powers of persuasion on you instead of the legal system."

The following morning Rachel was feeling much better and they headed out to do more sightseeing. As they walked down the street toward Graceland she couldn't help but notice the look of excitement on the brunette's face. When they walked up to the gates to start the tour Emily was almost shaking with excitement. "Are you sure you're not an Elvis fan?" Emily looked over but was unable to hide the look of excitement in her eyes. "Oh my God you are!" Rachel began laughing "I've got my own little Elvis groupie."

Emily turned "Yes I'm a fan…my Mom was a fan." She looked off into the distance to control her emotions "She played his music all the time when I was growing up and I guess it just stuck."

Rachel ran her hands along Emily's arms "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make fun of you."

"You didn't make fun of me. If it had been you I would've laughed as well." she kissed the blonde quickly then began pulling her toward the entrance "Come on, I've wanted to do this my whole life!" seeing that Rachel was grinning at her excitement she no longer cared about showing off her excitement "I can't wait to see the Jungle Room!"

By the time they made it back to their hotel later that afternoon they were loaded down with souvenirs and other shopping. Since it was to be their last night there they decided to go out for dinner and check out a few of the clubs listen to some music. After dinner they went to a blues club that several at their hotel recommended. They spent the evening dancing and enjoying the music. When the singer announced they would be doing karaoke Emily hit Rachel on the arm "Wanna do it?"

"You're kidding, right?"

"No."

"Sorry but I'm not getting up and singing."

"I guess I'll have to do it alone then." Emily made her way over to the side where there was a book listing the songs. She wasn't surprised to see a number of Elvis songs as well as blues standards. A smile spread across her face when she saw the perfect song. She waited until the group on the stage was finished and then took a mic in her hand and stepped onto the stage. The words were being displayed on a screen on the wall but it didn't matter because she knew most of them anyway. She made sure to lock eyes with Rachel as she swayed to the music and began singing.

There were a few cheers and whistles from the crowd but Rachel was unable to move as the first lines of Peggy Lee's Fever began echoing throughout the room. She watched as Emily seductively swayed to the music and couldn't believe that it was her girlfriend up there.

Emily smiled as she kept her eyes locked on Rachel's, knowing her performance was having the desired effect. She felt her own temperature rising as she watched the blonde squirming in her chair. She lowered her voice a bit as she sang.

"_When you put your arms around me_

_I get a fever that's so hard to bear_

_You give me fever when you kiss me_

_Fever when you hold me tight."_

Rachel had all but checked out as her sole focus was on trying not to rush the stage and take Emily right there. She shifted uncomfortably and squeezed her legs together looking for some relief. She was brought back to reality when Emily ended her song and left the stage to the cheers, whistles and applause from the crowd. Emily took her seat and whispered in Rachel's ear causing the blonde to shiver "Well?"

"Let's go, now!" Rachel said as she took Emily's hand and they left the club.

The couple block walk back to their hotel was almost more than either could bear. Rachel pulled Emily into an alley, pushed her against the wall and began kissing her. "Do you have any idea what that little performance did to me?"

"Turned you on to the point of being ready to explode?" Emily said as she ran her hand under Rachel's shirt and teased the top of her jeans with her fingers.

"We really need to get back to the hotel."

Ten minutes later clothing was scattered across the floor and Rachel was sprawled on the bed while Emily straddled her. Hands were roaming while their tongues dueled for control in a passionate kiss. Emily pulled back and ran her fingers through Rachel's hair "I love how it's growing out."

"My hair is the last thing on my mind right now." Rachel said while palming her girlfriend's breasts. "I really need you."

"Oh you do, do you?" Emily asked as she placed kisses along the blonde's neck. "Well just where do you need me?" she asked as she began kissing her way down across Rachel's chest "Do you need me here?" as she traced her tongue around each breast.

"I'm serious Emily." Rachel groaned as she lifted her hips trying to find relief.

"So am I." Emily chuckled as she continued her journey south. She ran her fingers between Rachel's legs being careful not to touch her anywhere that would give her release. She began kissing her inner thighs and scraping her nails along her legs. She grinned when Rachel spread her legs further apart. "Hmm…do you need me here?" she asked while blowing her breath across her. "Or do you need me here?" she asked before placing a kiss to her most sensitive spot.

"Yes!"

"How about here?" the brunette asked as she tapped her finger against her girlfriend's opening.

"I'm about to die here, will you please stop teasing me!" Rachel almost cried. Her body was screaming for release and she wasn't sure how much longer she could take it.

"Oh all right." Emily said as she quickly slid two fingers into the blonde and placed her lips over her clit. The action causing Rachel's hips to raise and a squeal of pleasure to escape. Emily groaned at the sound having not heard that from her girlfriend yet.

"Oh baby that's it. Right there…uh…." She lost the ability to form words as a powerful orgasm ripped through her.

Emily slowed her ministrations allowing Rachel to come down. She placed a few kisses across her stomach before raising up and meeting in a passionate kiss.

"I don't think I've ever felt anything like that!" Rachel said as she tried to catch her breath.

"I'll take that as a compliment." Emily said as she rolled onto her back and started to pull the sheet up over them.

"Hey." Rachel said as she rolled over and looked her in the eye "You have to have your turn."

Emily gave her a coy grin and wiggled her fingers. "I came with you."

Rachel shook her head as she snuggled closer and yawned "You are something else."

Sunday morning found them oversleeping and narrowly missing their checkout time. When they pulled into Rachel's driveway they loaded Emily's bags into her car before going inside for a light dinner.

"So are we riding together in the morning?" Emily asked as she helped clean up.

"I go in at seven, but we can on Tuesday."

"Sounds good."

Rachel watched Emily as she moved about the kitchen and the feelings she'd been having for a while began bubbling to the surface again. She reached out and pulled Emily to her earning a smile in return. Their arms were wrapped securely around one another's waist and Rachel had never felt as at home as she did in that moment "I love you."

Emily's eyes went wide and she felt as if the air had left her lungs. She had imagined hearing those words, she imagined saying them but it still surprised her. Knowing she couldn't trust her voice at the moment she pulled Rachel to her for the most loving kiss she could muster. When their lips parted she looked into Rachel's eyes and smiled "I love you too." They spent the rest of the evening reveling in their newfound confessions before Emily finally went home for the night, both promising to see one another the next day.

Rachel had tried to call Emily a couple times that day but just figured she was busy after taking a couple days off the week before. When she got off work went upstairs to Emily's office. Not finding her she turned and headed back to the receptionist to see if she knew, running into Janet on her way "Hey, have you seen Emily?"

Janet looked puzzled "I was going to ask you the same thing. She didn't come in today and when I called her she sounded very upset and told me she couldn't come in. Was she okay yesterday?"

Rachel was confused "She was fine last night." She was starting to worry now, her cop instincts running on high alert. "I'm going to her house."

When she pulled up Emily's car was gone. Even though she knew the brunette wouldn't park in the garage she still peaked in the window on the side but it was empty. She knocked on the door a couple time and walked around the house trying to look in the windows but no sight of her. She was about to leave when she noticed Emily's elderly neighbor walking to her car. "Excuse me, ma'am?" Rachel called out as she ran over "Have you seen Emily today?"

"This morning when I was leaving for my doctor appointment. She ran out and jumped into her car. She was carrying her purse and an overnight bag. She looked upset."

"Umm…thank you."

'_Where could she have gone?'_ Rachel wondered as she climbed into her car and started home. She had hoped when she turned onto her street that she would see Emily's car but it wasn't there. She dialed her number again as she walked in the door "Hey baby it's me. I'm really worried about you. Please just give me a call. I love you." she collapsed onto the couch and her mind instantly went to what had been said the night before. _'Did I scare her off? Was it too soon to tell her I love her? But she said it back so it couldn't be that.' _She hoped that declaring her love wasn't what caused the brunette to run. She debated calling the police but she knew what they would tell her so she decided to hold off for the moment. She rested her head against the back of the couch as she tried to keep her mind from going to places it shouldn't. All she knew was that she was in love, she was happier than she'd ever been, and Emily had disappeared.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Thank you all so much for the reviews. So glad you enjoyed the last chapter! My coconspirator (Little Miss Nicap) and I are thrilled that you're enjoying it! Let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 13

The room was dark except for a dimly lit bedside lamp. Emily surveyed the mess that was her hotel room; balled up tissues scattered across the bed and tables, an empty wine bottle on the counter next to a newly opened bottle of whiskey. She glanced over at her phone and saw the multiple missed calls and messages, some from Janet but mostly from Rachel. She couldn't bring herself to listen to or read them because she knew in that moment she wouldn't be able to respond. The only contact with the outside world she'd had since arriving two days ago was when she went to the liquor store down the street, and the few words exchanged with hotel staff. She walked over to the counter and picked up the whisky and carried it back to bed with her, taking a drink before setting it on the bedside table. She climbed into bed and pulled the shirt she was wearing tighter around her. It belonged to Rachel and was one of the items of clothing the blonde had left at her house. She took another swig from the bottle, the burn doing nothing to ease her pain. She picked up the piece of paper she had read repeatedly over the last twenty four hours and her tears began to flow. She didn't think she had anymore tears but obviously she did. Emily buried her head in the pillow as she continued to cry.

Rachel aimlessly wiped the kitchen counter down after the kids were down for nap time. It was the brief quiet time they all looked forward to in the middle of their day. It was now Thursday afternoon and the last time she had spoken to Emily was Sunday night when the brunette left to go home. She had called repeatedly, left numerous voicemails and text messages but still no answer. After work the day before she went to the local police station and inquired about filing a missing person's report. The detective she talked to was nice and she seemed concerned but she also pointed out that it appeared Emily had left on her own after Rachel told her what the neighbor had saw. As much as Rachel wanted to tell her she was a detective and knew how the system worked she also knew the other woman was right. The detective assured her she would keep in contact and that if she had any new information to let her know. When she arrived home she considered calling Tyler and asking if there was anything he could do, but decided against it feeling that the US Marshals had more important things to worry about than her girlfriend who had taken off. Now she was starting to wonder if maybe she was the problem. She hadn't slept hardly at all since Monday and the night before all she could think was that maybe telling Emily she loved her did scare her off. Even though Emily said the words back, and Rachel felt sure she meant them, she wondered if maybe it was too soon. Maybe she just needed some space to sort out her feelings. But it that was the case why wouldn't she call? Rachel was slowly driving herself crazy with worry and what ifs.

"Are you okay?" Ina asked as she entered the kitchen seeing the blonde alone. Something had changed in the younger woman in the last few days and she was beginning to worry about her. Rachel shook her head as she began to tear up. "Oh sweetheart, what's the matter?" the older woman said as she pulled Rachel into her arms.

"Emily's gone." She whispered as she allowed the woman to comfort her.

"What?! Where did she go?"

"I don't know." Rachel said as she then relayed the events from Monday and the last couple days.

"And the police aren't doing anything?"

"There's really nothing they can do at the moment. It appears that she left by her own free will."

"What about family? Is there anyone you can contact?"

"No. She doesn't really have any family to speak of, and the ones she does she's not close too." She pulled back and grabbed a paper towel and began wiping her tears "I told her I love her on Sunday." She said with a sad smile. "And she said she loves me too."

Ina smiled but her heart was breaking for the woman in front of her. "Oh Rachel that's wonderful."

"Yeah, I tell her I love her and she runs off the next day. So much for that, huh?" her mind replayed all the past failed relationships, things her mother had said to her over the years "Maybe it's me. Maybe she said it as a reaction to me saying it." then tears starting again "Maybe I'm just not loveable."

Based on how she said it Ina was certain Rachel had heard that at some point in her life. She grabbed a dry towel and began to dab at Rachel's tears while taking her hand with her free one. "Don't ever say that. Don't ever think that. You are a wonderful person Rachel and anyone would be lucky to be loved by you." she pointed to the other room where the kids were sleeping. "Those kids in there love you so much. All I heard last week when you were gone was 'Where's Rachel?' And while we're at it I love you Rachel. You are one of the kindest, most warm people I've ever had the privilege to know."

Rachel smiled as more tears escaped. Here was a woman she'd known barely six months and in that time she'd shown her more love and affection than her own mother ever did. "I love you too, you've been so good to me."

They were both quiet for a minute as the regained their composure "Why don't you come over and have dinner with my husband and I tonight?"

"Thank you, but no. I was gonna drive around a bit and see if I can find her. I did that yesterday and the day before. I checked a few motels but no luck. I just don't get it. Why would she just disappear like that?"

"I don't know darlin, I don't know."

That evening Rachel drove further out of the city and checked motels in some of the surrounding towns. It was killing her not knowing where Emily was, if she was okay, what had made her leave. When she returned home she collapsed on the couch and picked up her phone to call her again but decided against it. She was afraid that if she was the reason Emily left that her repeated phone calls and messages could driver her further away. She briefly considered calling Elliot or Fin and asking if they could run a check on Emily's credit cards but decided against it. She definitely didn't want to blow her cover and have to leave not knowing where Emily was.

Friday passed the same as the last few days. Rachel checked her phone constantly to see if there was any word but of course there wasn't. When she left work she stopped at Emily's house to see if there were any signs of her coming home but there were none. When she arrived home she collapsed on the couch and decided to rest for a bit before going back out to check a few more motels.

When Rachel woke she took a moment to allow her eyes to adjust to the darkness of her living room. She switched on a lamp and looked at her watch, it was almost eight. She kicked herself for falling asleep but she hadn't slept all week and it had caught up with her. She looked at the empty wine bottle on the coffee table from the evening before. She had always resisted drinking when upset or worried as she wanted to avoid her mother's tendencies but she couldn't help herself this week. At least she had stuck to wine and avoided harder alcohol. She was about to go to the kitchen for another when she remembered that was her last bottle. She grabbed her keys and purse and started toward the door. She could at least get a couple bottles to get her through the weekend. When she opened the door she gasped at the sight in front of her.

"Hi." Emily said quietly.

Rachel opened and closed her mouth a couple times trying and failing to form words. She blinked as she tried to figure out if she was still asleep and dreaming. "Em…Emily?"

Emily nodded "I was wondering if I could talk to you?"

Rachel couldn't quite get a grip on what was going on. She turned and went back inside leaving the door open. Emily took that as an invitation to come in and followed her inside. Rachel took a few deep breaths as she paced her living room and tried to calm down. On one hand she was so excited to see Emily and she appeared to be okay, on the other she was so upset that Emily had just casually showed up at her house as if nothing had happened. She looked back and noticed Emily looked a little more pale than usual and her eyes were red.

Emily glanced around the living room and noticed the mail piled on the table, the wine glass and empty bottle on the coffee table, and the box of tissues next to it.

"Sorry for the mess." Rachel said as she picked the blanket up from the couch and folded it then took the wine bottle and glass to the kitchen.

"I don't mind." Emily said as she took a seat in a chair and waited for Rachel to return.

Rachel stayed in the kitchen for a minute and took a few deep breaths as she tried to calm down. She had been going crazy with worry over the last few days as to where the brunette was, what she was doing, whether or not it was her fault that she left. Now Emily was sitting in her living room after showing up like it was any other day. If Emily wasn't concerned then why should she be? She walked back in and took a seat on the couch as she struggled not to cry. "So what are you up to this evening?"

Emily was taken a little off guard. While she hadn't expected everything to be sunshine and roses she definitely didn't expect the response she was getting. While she could tell the blonde was upset Rachel appeared almost aloof and uncaring. It made her wonder exactly how much damage had been done to their relationship. "Um…well, uh…" she closed her eyes and sighed "Maybe I should just go."

Now Rachel was angry. She wanted to explode, to yell, and to ask what was going on but she just couldn't. "Whatever you want. I mean you're free to come and go as you please." based on the look on Emily's face the words had stung, and as much as she hated to admit it that's what Rachel wanted.

"Right." Emily said as she walked to the door. She turned and her heart broke at the look of hurt on Rachel's face. "I do love you."

"Yeah." Then almost as an afterthought "Love you too."

Emily walked out and climbed into the car, hitting her head against the back of the seat as her tears began to fall "I blew it. I really blew it."

Saturday morning Rachel woke later than she normally did. Even though she rested a bit easier after seeing Emily her mind was still racing as to why she left. She had finally passed out at a little after three that morning. When she got up she saw that there were a few missed calls and messages from Emily. She started to return them but decided against it _'Let her see how it feels.'_ She thought to herself.

Emily sat curled in a blanket on her couch staring at the phone. She didn't know why she was expecting her girlfriend to answer. _'If I can even still call her that.'_ she wondered. She pulled the blanket tighter as it smelled like the blonde and helped comfort her.

As the day passed there were a few more calls from Emily and finally that afternoon Rachel decided to answer. "Hello?"

"Hey."

Rachel sighed as she tried to hold back the tears. "Hey."

"Look I know you're mad at me and I don't blame you, but I really want to talk to you."

"Emily…"

"Please." she pleaded. "Rachel I really want to talk to you about this. Would you come over this evening? I'll make dinner for us."

At that Rachel chuckled causing Emily to grin "You'll make dinner huh?" she was quiet for a minute before speaking "Okay."

When Rachel arrived at Emily's the greeting was awkward and a little cool. There were no hugs, kisses or playful flirting like there usually was. They both stood for a moment wondering what they should do before Emily spoke "I just need to check on dinner. Make yourself at home."

Rachel took a seat in one of the chairs opposite the couch and waited for Emily to return. She tried to gather her thoughts and figure out what she wanted to say before Emily returned.

Emily took a seat on the couch and sighed "So…I'm sure you've got some questions."

"What the hell Emily? You just up and disappear with no warning, no nothing and then you show up on my doorstep like nothing happened. So yeah, I've got questions. One actually. Why?"

"It wasn't you Rachel, I promise."

"What was I supposed to think it was? I tell you I'm in love with you and the next day you disappear. So what was it?"

Emily grabbed a tissue and dabbed at her eyes as she could already feel the tears beginning. "I um…got a call Monday morning." She wiped her eyes again as she couldn't hold the tears back now "A woman I was very close to, she was…she was like a mother to me. She passed away unexpectedly." As the words left her mouth she broke down.

Rachel was out of her seat and next to the brunette in a heartbeat. While there was still a part of her that was angry that Emily hadn't called and let her know she was okay, her heart was breaking for her girlfriend. "Oh baby, I am so sorry." She said as she pulled Emily to her and held her close. She knew Emily had lost her mother when she was younger and to now lose the woman who was like a mother to her had to be unbearable. "Is that where you were?"

Emily nodded as she cleared her throat and went over her story in her head before speaking "I got the call and just threw some stuff in a bag and left. I went for the services. I'm sorry I didn't call you first but I was so upset."

"I understand but I would've been there for you. I would've come to you."

"I know and I'm sorry. I just…I just wanted to be alone. Do you understand?"

It still hurt that Emily didn't call her but Rachel understood. "I do. If something happens again though let me know. I'd do anything for you."

"I love you." Emily said as she leaned in for a light kiss. She then pulled back and rested her head on Rachel's shoulder.

Rachel settled back against the couch and began running her fingers through the brunette's hair "I love you too."

They sat in silence for a bit as they both replayed the last few days. Emily cried a few more times and Rachel would soothe her and hold her tight. Rachel felt bad for the way she treated Emily the night before now that she knew she had lost someone close to her but at the same time she was still slightly hurt that Emily hadn't called her. Everyone processed grief in their own way, maybe Emily did just need to be alone. She thought back to when her own mom died and how after the initial shock wore off she just wanted to work. She remembered coming into work after the funeral and the captain trying to send her home. Being home alone was the last thing she wanted, but maybe for Emily being alone was her way of coping. She looked down when she felt Emily starting to sit up. Rachel took Emily's hands in her own "I'm sorry for the way I acted last night and earlier."

"Don't apologize."

"No, I want to. I acted like I didn't care last night and that's not true. I care, a lot. I was scared and worried that something had happened or that it was because of me that you left. I'm just not used to feeling this way about someone. I'm not used to loving someone this much." She knew she was in love with Emily before this, but after the last few days it confirmed exactly how much she was in love with her.

"Apology accepted. I'm not used to being in a relationship like this either. I think we both have some learning to do." she then smiled, she was pretty sure it was the first time she'd smiled in almost a week. "And there's no one I'd rather learn it with than you."

Once Emily had settled down they moved to the kitchen for dinner. It was nothing fancy, just casserole and salad but Rachel voiced how impressed she was with how Emily's cooking skills were improving. "Are you up for dessert?" Emily asked as she began clearing the table.

"I think I could be convinced." Rachel said as she helped clean up.

Emily smiled "She always made bananas foster French toast for dessert. It was delicious!" she sighed "I'd love to try and make it for you." As she gathered the ingredients Rachel began making the French toast. Emily's mood was improving and Rachel was glad to see it. "She also used to make this and put it on pancakes. Talk about amazing, you would start your day with a sugar high!" Rachel had just taken the French toast from the pan and Emily grabbed the bottle of rum to finish off the desert. She poured it into the pan and began stirring. Just as she was about to move the pan from the burner Emily burnt her hand, dropping the pan back onto the stove top. As it hit the surface it tipped causing some liquid to spill out. In a split second a flame shot up from the alcohol in the pan hitting the burner. Emily froze but Rachel was already in motion, grabbing a lid and dropping it onto the flame putting it out.

Rachel took Emily's hand and pulled her to the sink and began running cool water over the burn. "It's not too bad." She dried her hand and lightly kissed it. She looked up expecting a grin or even an incredulous look, what she wasn't expecting was tears. "Does it hurt that bad?"

"She's gone and I can't even do something to remember her by!" Emily cried as she dropped her head to Rachel's shoulder.

"Come on." Rachel said as she began walking toward the stairs taking Emily with her. "You need to relax." Once upstairs she ran a bath and lit a few candles. She undressed the brunette and helped her into the tub. "Just relax for a bit and I'll clean up downstairs." She couldn't imagine what Emily was feeling. Yes she had been hurt and upset when Serena died but at the same time they hadn't been very close. She didn't understand what it felt like to lose someone she was very close too.

Emily had just stepped from the tub and was drying off when Rachel walked back into the room. The brunette wrapped her towel around her body and stepped into her bedroom. She smiled at the grin that was on Rachel's face "I take it you like what you see."

"Yes ma'am."

Emily wrapped her arms around the blonde "Thank you."

"For what?" Rachel asked as she held her tight.

"For being you. I'm sorry for the way I treated you this past week by not letting you know where I was or that I was okay."

"No apology necessary. I'm sorry for the way I acted last night when you came over to apologize."

Emily kissed her quickly "No apology necessary." She walked over to the dresser and pulled out a shirt and shorts to sleep in. "Are you staying tonight?" she placed her hand on the drawer where Rachel kept some clothes.

"I'd love to."

In the early morning hours Emily lay awake while Rachel slept soundly next to her. It was a little after two and she had hardly slept even with Rachel holding her. She quietly reached over and slid open the top drawer of her bedside table and pulled out a piece of paper. She turned the lamp onto the lowest setting and felt new tears begin as she stared at the paper in her hand. After receiving the phone call on Monday morning she'd jumped into the car and drove finally stopping a couple hours away and checking into a motel. When she took a seat in front of a computer in the motel's business center the next day she knew what she was doing was wrong but she didn't care. She did the one thing the Marshals had told her not to, seeking out information on her previous life. Emily now stared at the crumpled, tear stained paper in her hand, a printout from the Irvington Gazette. She felt her the pain in her chest return as she read the first few lines again, not that she'd ever forget them. _'Danielle Elizabeth Cabot, loving wife and mother, left this world unexpectedly on Sunday night.' _It didn't matter how many times she read that line it hurt just as much as when Kelly, the Marshal handling her case, called her. A sudden and massive heart attack she said. Her Mom had always been so healthy and active, granted she wasn't a health nut but she stayed in shape. She'd never heard of heart disease in their family so that made her death even more of a shock. She hated that her Mom left this world thinking she was dead, that she never got to tell her goodbye or that she loved her one last time. She was also worried about her Dad, in less than a year he had lost his daughter and now his wife, he was now alone. She had debated calling him, to let him know she was alive but knew if she did she wouldn't be able to see him and on top of it she would be moved and she would lose Rachel. She'd just lost her Mom she couldn't lose her girlfriend as well. When she felt Rachel stirring next to her she quickly put the obituary back in the drawer and turned the light off. She settled down and pretended to be asleep but could tell by Rachel's movements she was still asleep as well.

Emily sighed when she felt Rachel wrap her arm around her and pull her close. "Emily." Rachel whispered in her sleep. She reached down and laced her fingers with Rachel's as their hands rested on her stomach. She loved when Rachel would whisper her name at night. She wondered what it would be like to hear her whisper 'Alex'. As she closed her eyes Emily hoped that one day she'd get that chance. She snuggled back into Rachel's embrace, grateful for the blonde and that she at least had someone and she wouldn't have to grieve alone.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Thank you all for the reviews, follows and favorites! We are so glad you are enjoying. I know the last chapter was a heavy but this one is a little lighter. Of course life always throws things at you you're not expecting but I hope this time it's balanced out with humor. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 14

Emily lay staring at the ceiling as she took slow, deep breaths. She looked to her right and grinned as she watched Rachel's chest continue to rise and fall as her breathing was beginning to slow. "You alright over there?"

Rachel held up a finger and smiled "Just…give me minute." She took a deep breath and coughed before laughing "God, either I'm getting old or I'm really out of shape if sex wears me out this much."

Emily laughed now as she rolled onto her side and ran her index finger down Rachel's chest and across her abdomen "You are neither old nor out of shape. As a matter of fact," she said while leaning in for a kiss "I really love your shape."

"You happen to have a pretty hot shape yourself."

Emily rolled over so she was resting on her back again as she willed her body to cool down. She considered getting up to turn the heat down but wasn't sure her legs would support her at the moment. It had been over a week since they had been intimate with one another. First Rachel came down with a cold followed by Emily catching the flu, they had spent the last week and a half nursing one another back to good health.

Rachel pulled the sheet up over her body as she began to cool down and rolled over to face the brunette. "How are you not cold?"

"How are you not hot?"

Rachel bit the tip of her tongue as she grinned "I do believe you called me hot just a little while ago."

"Oh you are smokin' but it's like a hundred degrees in here right now. If I thought my legs would hold me I'd open the window." She looked back at her girlfriend and both burst into laughter.

Once the laughter died down they lay quietly for a bit just enjoying being with one another. Rachel took the opportunity to admire the woman lying next to her. While she had admired Emily's body many times over the last couple months they had been sleeping together she still took every opportunity to do so. She loved how comfortable they were and that Emily seemed less inhibited when they are together. The brunette was lying next to her, sprawled out and completely naked. Rachel put her hand on Emily's thigh and began walking her fingers up until she reached the tattoo on her right hip. "So I'm gonna ask again, what's the story with this tattoo?"

Emily rolled her eyes and sighed, Rachel had asked this question several times and she had always dodged it but she figured she might as well answer it now. "Okay, this is so embarrassing, I got it when I was in college. Several of us were out one night at a bar drinking and as the evening progressed we began betting what someone could do or couldn't do. It started out little, like betting someone couldn't do more than two shots of whiskey back to back, or betting someone couldn't drink the worm in the tequila. The drunker we became the bigger the bets got. This one guy, Jason, he and I started upping the ante. Finally he dared me to get a tattoo. In hindsight I was probably more drunk than I thought I was. I accepted. The two people who were still standing besides us went to a tattoo parlor with us. I picked out the peace sign then turned and told Jason he had to watch and I also dared him not to get 'excited' while watching as I undid my pants and pulled then down far enough for the guy to do the tattoo." She was chuckling now "I only did that because I was pretty sure Jason had a thing for me."

"So you got a tattoo and all he had to do was not get hard?" Rachel asked as she traced the tattoo with her finger.

Now Emily was laughing "Yeah well…he kinda failed at that, especially when I made a point to moan when it hurt a little bit."

Rachel laughed "So what did you make him do since he failed?"

"I told him he had to get one. He kept saying no, anything but that. So I told him that since his little 'friend' had made an appearance he should get it pierced." Now she was laughing uncontrollably "His face went completely white! I mean all the color drained like in a cartoon. Turns out Jason was afraid of needles."

Rachel wiped tears from laughing so hard. "So what did he do?"

"I told him it was one or the other and he chose the tattoo. I also got to pick what and where."

"And?"

With as straight a face Emily looked to her girlfriend "I figured I would go easy on him. He was a huge Star Wars fan so I chose Yoda…to be tattooed on his ass!" once again they lost it.

"You're not serious!"

Emily nodded "He's probably had it removed by now but for years he wondered around with a cute little Yoda on his ass."

"Poor Yoda." Rachel said as she struggle to catch her breath again. She then leaned down and kissed Emily's tattoo "Well I have to say it was an interesting story and I absolutely love this tattoo, it's so sexy." She stuck her tongue out and lightly traced it like she had several times before.

Emily groaned as she ran her fingers through the blonde's hair "And it's so sexy when you do that." she then motioned for Rachel to move up and met her with a kiss "Now stop working me up, I'm just starting to cool off."

"Oh alright." Rachel grinned as she settled down and pulled the sheet up tighter. "Farmer's market in the morning?" she asked as she felt her body beginning to drift off.

"Sounds good."

"Then maybe tomorrow night at my place." She opened her eyes to see a confused look on Emily's face.

"Tomorrow is Sunday, we don't stay the night with each other when we have to work the next day."

Rachel took the brunette's hand in her own "I know, but I thought it might be nice once and a while to wake up and get ready together, ride together then come home together that evening." seeing the hesitancy in Emily's eyes she continued "I'm not trying to push this along or anything, I like the pace we're going at, I just thought it sounded like a good idea. We can keep staying with one another on the weekends but maybe once in a while stay together during the week."

Emily smiled as she kissed Rachel lightly "I don't see what once in a while would hurt."

Rachel smiled as she snuggled closer, but not to close knowing Emily was still hot, and began to drift off. It was still too soon to be discussing living together but this was another small step in the progression of their relationship.

On Monday morning Rachel blindly reached around her bedside table for the alarm clock. After hitting the snooze button she rolled over and smiled at Emily sleeping next to her. She watched her sleep for a moment then reached out and ran her fingers along Emily's arm "Hey, time to wake up."

"Hmm?"

Rachel grinned, her girlfriend was definitely not a morning person. "I said it's time to get up."

"Too early." Emily groaned as she snuggled closer "Five more minutes."

"I hit the snooze so we have ten minutes but then we'll have to get up or we'll be late."

"Sounds good." Emily mumbled as she slipped her arm over Rachel's waist and slid closer.

Thirty minutes later Rachel was just finishing her cup of coffee and fixing Emily's when she heard footsteps behind her. She looked around and had to smile at the sight of the brunette standing in front of her wrapped in a bath towel. She held out the mug as Emily walked over and accepted it while leaning in for a kiss. "Did you have a nice shower?" Rachel asked when they parted.

"Mmm hmm." Emily took a sip of coffee. "I've got to get a shower head like that for mine. It's amazing!" she leaned in for another kiss "I was hoping you would join me."

"And if I had we'd still be in there and would be late for work."

"Oh but it would be worth it."

"I'm gonna get in the shower."

Emily reached out and swat her on the behind as she passed "One day when we're not working we're gonna try out that shower together. Especially the massage setting!"

Once arriving at work they shared one last kiss in the car. While they weren't ashamed of their relationship they had both decided they wanted to remain professional while at work. "So…plans tonight?" Emily asked as they began walking to the building.

"You wanna go to dinner?"

"Sounds good." Emily would do anything to spend a little more time with the blonde. She was still grieving the death of her mother, well Alex's mother really, and she found it was even worse when she was alone. Every day there was a battle to keep from calling her Dad and telling him she was alive and how much she loved him. She pulled herself from her thoughts and smiled "How about that restaurant over on 3rd?"

"The one that serves southern food?"

Emily nodded "After being sick and now that my appetite is back I would love to have some fried chicken." She looked Rachel in the eye and tilted her head "Are you feeling okay?" Rachel gave her a confused look "Your eyes, they're a dead giveaway when you're not feeling well."

"I'm fine, I guess I haven't shaken this cold completely." She squeezed Emily's hand as they went inside and boarded the elevator "I'll see you at five."

As the week progressed Emily put up a brave front during the day but at night she would curl up in bed and cry herself to sleep. It had been a little over a month since her Mom passed and while the pain had eased she knew it would never leave. The only time she didn't feel any pain was when she was with Rachel. It was Friday evening and they had plans to go to dinner and the movies. As she watched Rachel walk out of her house carrying a small overnight bag she had to smile. The weekends were their favorite since they get to spend them together.

Rachel threw her bag in the backseat then climbed in the front. She leaned over and greeted the brunette with a kiss "Hey beautiful."

"Hey gorgeous." Emily had barely finished her greeting when Rachel began coughing. "I really think you should see a doctor."

"I'll be fine. I picked up some cold medicine yesterday after work. I can already tell a difference."

It was eighties night at the classic theater and they were showing The Breakfast Club, a favorite movie of both ladies. Once seated Rachel couldn't help but tease Emily about the first time they were there and her little slip of the hand. Emily grinned and leaned in, knowing what whispering in the blonde's ear would do "Yeah, but now I'm very comfortable with my hand between your legs." She chuckled when she saw Rachel shiver "Who knows? We might just have a happy accident this evening."

Like they always did at the movies they shared a popcorn and Emily always had to have some kind of candy. Emily had noticed that her girlfriend had snuggled closer throughout the movie and she couldn't decide whether it was because she wasn't feeling well or because she wanted to be close. A little over halfway through Emily placed her arm around the brunette and smiled when Rachel rested her head on her shoulder. She allowed her hand to slide lower and her fingertips began lightly teasing the top of Rachel's left breast.

Rachel sighed and tilted her head to whisper in Emily's ear "I knew it, you only put your arm around me to feel me up."

"Yeah well," Emily whispered "You should know by now I'm a boob girl." Then dropping her hand low enough to give a good squeeze "And these are the best boobs I've ever had the pleasure to pleasure."

Rachel laughed, much louder than she intended "And I love when you pleasure them."

By the time they left the movies Rachel was coughing more than she was earlier in the evening. Emily stepped in front of Rachel and turned to face her "I swear, if you don't go to the doctor Monday I'm putting your ass in the car and taking you myself."

"Is that so?" Rachel's eyes sparkled with amusement.

"Yeah, that's so." Emily kissed her quickly then pulled her along "Now come on, that theater was cold and I have a bathtub with our names on it."

Emily glanced at her alarm clock, it was a little after one and they had only been asleep less than an hour. She had just closed her eyes when she felt the mattress shake as Rachel began coughing. She quickly turned the lamp on and sat up "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." She took a drink from the glass of water she had brought to bed with her. "I'm okay. Go back to sleep."

Emily's sleep was restless as she listened to the blonde cough. She was worried her cold was coming back and would be worse this time around. The weather was warming up and it was the perfect time to get sick. She had finally dozed off only to be woken again at three by Rachel tapping her shoulder. She sat up and looked over to see Rachel sitting up in bed with her hand on her chest.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't breathe."

"That's it." Emily said as she got up and grabbed pajama pants and a hoodie to put on "You're going to the hospital."

Rachel nodded as Emily helped her from the bed. Normally she would put up a fight but not tonight. She allowed Emily to help her into pajama pants and a sweatshirt before leaving.

Emily looked at her watch and huffed, they had taken Rachel back but asked her to wait in the waiting room. As worried as she was she was becoming agitated as well. She approached the admit desk "Is there any information on Rachel Martin?"

"You are?" the young woman asked.

"Her girlfriend."

"I can only release information to a family member."

Emily closed her eyes and took a deep breath before speaking "Well like I said, I'm her girlfriend."

"But you're not an immediate family member."

"Look," Emily said as she squeezed her fist on the counter in an attempt to calm down. "I'm the only family she has. Not that it's any of your business, but I brought her in because she was asleep in my bed when she got sick. I am her family."

The nurse sighed "I'll see what I can find out."

Emily nodded and headed back to her seat. She felt the prosecutor in her coming out, it had been a long time since she felt that…she had to admit it felt good.

"Martin?" a male nurse about Emily's age called from the door.

Emily rushed over "I'm Emily Dawson, Rachel is my girlfriend."

He smiled and nodded her to follow. "I'll take you back to her." he pointed his thumb back towards the desk "She was just following procedure but most of us don't follow it too closely." He stopped and pointed at a door "She's just in there."

Emily walked in and took Rachel's hand, leaning in for a kiss "Hey baby, how are you feeling?"

"I've been better." She took another deep breath. She hated the feeling of not being able to breath.

"So what have they said?"

Rachel held her arm up "Well they took blood, the nurse said the doctor would be in shortly."

At that moment a middle aged man entered the room "Hello, I'm Dr. Bailey." He began asking questions Rachel doing her best to answer and when she became short of breath Emily would answer for her. He nodded as he listened to her lungs and heart then made a few notes on his chart. "I'm going to send you for x-rays because it sounds like you have pneumonia." He looked to Emily "It won't take very long, you can wait here if you like."

Fifteen minutes later Rachel was back. She settled back in the bed and tried to get comfortable. Emily jumped up to try and help. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For everything. It's the middle of the night and here you are at the hospital with me." she barely got the words out before another coughing fit overtook her.

Emily rubbed her back and waited for it to subside then offered her some water. "Of course I'd be here." She kissed the blonde's forehead "Rachel, honey, you seem to have forgotten that I love you, very much, of course I would be here with you."

Rachel felt tears in her eyes but held them back for fear of getting choked up "You're too good for me."

Emily smiled and kissed her lightly on the lips "Well I happen to think you're too good for me so we'll just have to agree to disagree."

A few minutes later Dr. Bailey returned "Well, it is pneumonia."

"I'm not contagious am I? I work around kids." Emily smiled, Rachel was always more concerned about others than herself.

"No but you're not going to be working so you don't have to worry."

"How long?"

"I want you to stay home for a week." Seeing the look on her face he chuckled "Trust me, you're not going to feel like doing anything." The nurse reentered the room with her discharge papers and a little basket. "Before you leave the nurse is going to give you a steroid shot. It'll help jump start your lungs fighting the pneumonia."

After the doctor left the nurse prepared the shot "Okay, if you can just stand up and pull your pants down enough to expose your hip."

"I'm sorry?" Rachel asked as she looked at the young woman.

"Your shot, I have to give it to you in your hip." Seeing the hesitancy she smiled "Trust me, it'll hurt a lot less there than in your arm."

Rachel reluctantly stood and pulled her pants down on the right side then leaned on the bed as instructed. She looked at Emily who was doing a horrible job of hiding her amusement. Rachel rolled her eyes and shot the brunette a look.

"Okay, all done." The nurse said when she finished. "It might be sore for a little bit."

When they were alone again Emily helped Rachel get dressed "My poor baby."

"Shut up. You weren't the one getting a shot in the ass."

Emily laughed "Do you want me to kiss it and make it better?" the withering look she received in return was all the answer she needed.

"My place or yours?" Emily sleepily asked as she drove down the empty street.

"You can just drop me off at home."

"I'm not just dropping you off." Emily said with a serious look. "If you want to go home that's fine, but I'm not leaving you alone." seeing the look she was getting she shook her head "You're not winning this argument. We'll go to your house and later I'll get your meds filled and get a few things from my house. I'm not leaving you until you're feeling better."

Rachel smiled but there were tears in her eyes, never had she been with someone who cared for her this much. It was a little overwhelming at times. She reached out and squeezed Emily's hand "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Lucky for you, you'll never need to find out." _'Just as long as the cartel doesn't find me and I have to disappear.'_

It was a little before eight when Emily woke. She groaned at the time and her lack of sleep. She reached out and sat up when she realized the other side was empty. She got up and went in search of the blonde. "What are you doing in here?" she asked seeing Rachel curled up on the couch.

"I was coughing and I didn't want to wake you."

Emily took a seat next to her and felt her forehead "It feels like you've got a slight fever." She kissed her forehead "I'll get you some ibuprofen." She returned with the little orange pills and a cup of tea "The pharmacy down the street opens at eight I'll be back as soon as I can."

"It can wait, you need to get some sleep."

"Sleep can wait, you need your medicine. I'm gonna run by the store and pick up a few groceries as well."

"My credit card is in my wallet."

As the day passed both stayed curled up in the living room watching TV. Rachel had called Ina to let her know she wouldn't be working and the older woman told her she would be over later that evening with dinner for the couple. They were both tired from their lack of sleep but Emily had to laugh at how the cough medicine they had prescribed seem to knock Rachel out. Her girlfriend didn't seem the type to react so easily to medication, but within ten minutes of the first dose Rachel was out cold.

"You would think that Ina thinks we're going to starve." Emily said as she and Rachel sat on the sofa eating dinner. The older woman had brought vegetable soup for them to have for a few days but tonight's dinner was meatloaf with mashed potatoes, green beans and biscuits. She also brought a chocolate cake that Rachel loved.

"Yeah but, you have to admit this food is sooo good." Rachel wondered for what felt like the millionth time what she ever did to deserve people like this in her life. As much as she missed LA, her job, the guys and her old life, at the same time she realized she had grown to love the life she had here. She had finally found someone whom she loved very much and loved her equally in return. In Ina she had found both a friend and confidant, not to mention a mother like figure.

After dinner they settled in with dessert and one of their favorite movies The Goonies. Emily had her feet propped on the coffee table and wiggled her toes while singing along with Cyndi Lauper as she sang the theme song. Rachel smiled as she watched her "You're so cute."

"You're pretty cute yourself." Emily said leaning in for a quick kiss causing Rachel to grin. "And there it is, that nose scrunch! It's just so cute!" Emily kissed the tip of her nose.

Rachel started to laugh which sent her into another coughing fit. She doubled over and wrapped her arms around her waist, her stomach muscles and ribs were killing her.

Emily rubbed her back and waited for it to subside. When it finally did Rachel's eyes were wide and her face was red. "Are you okay? That was one of the worst ones today. Do you need your inhaler?" she reached for the item on the coffee table.

Rachel shook her head "I..I..I.." she stuttered, unable to believe what she was about to say. She looked Emily in the eye and blushed, her voice coming out in a whisper "I think I pissed myself."

Emily was about to laugh but quickly swallowed it "What?"

Rachel jumped up and ran to her bathroom. When she stepped out Emily was sitting on the edge of the bed looking at her with concern. Rachel felt a blush creep up her face again but at the same time she began laughing "I coughed so freakin hard I pissed myself! I'm a grown woman for crying out loud."

Emily couldn't help but laugh now. She stood and wrapped the blonde in her arms "It'll get better soon, I promise." Seeing Rachel's eyes flutter she nodded toward the bed "Why don't you get in bed, I'll bring your medicine and you can go to sleep. You need your rest."

"So do you." Rachel said as she changed and climbed into bed.

"And as soon as I straighten up I'll join you." she leaned in for a kiss, it was slow and loving and conveyed exactly how they felt for one another. "I'm not going anywhere until you're better." Then worried she'd overstepped her bounds "If it's okay with you."

Rachel smiled and pulled her down for another kiss "It's more than okay. You by my side is the best medicine I can get."

"I'll gladly be your doctor." Emily said in a low voice.

The close proximity as well as her girlfriend's words caused Rachel to take a shallow breath. "I'd like that. And maybe when I'm feeling better," she said as she lightly ran her fingers up Emily's arm "We could enjoy you being my doctor a little more."

Emily chuckled "Ooh, role playing? I think I like it." she kissed Rachel once more then went to the kitchen to clean up. When she returned Rachel appeared to be resting comfortably but she could still hear slight wheezing. She placed a bottle of water and her inhaler on the bedside table then felt her forehead, grateful it seemed her fever was staying down. She changed into a t-shirt and shorts and climbed into bed. She kissed the blonde lightly on the lips and settled down facing her.

"Emily." Rachel whispered before rolling onto her side facing the brunette but was still asleep. Her hand unconsciously reached out and latched onto Emily's "Love you."

"I love you too, always will."


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: So sorry for the delay. Thank you for your reviews of the last chapter. I know some of you were a little concerned about Rachel but she is okay, we all get sick from time to time. For the continued follows and favorites, thank you. We (Little Miss Nicap &amp; myself) are so glad you are enjoying. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 15

Rachel took a deep breath as she ran down the street. She brushed back a few strands of hair that were sticking to her forehead as a few beads of sweat rolled down her neck. As she rounded the corner at the end of the street she chanced a glance over her shoulder and saw that her pursuer was gaining ground. Her house was in sight, she was almost there. Hearing the footsteps hitting the pavement behind her she increased her speed. She was two houses away when she felt a hand on her arm.

"Gotcha!" Emily shouted as she grabbed Rachel's arm and sped past the blonde.

Rachel grinned as she tried her best to catch up to the brunette. Since recovering from her bought with pneumonia she was getting back into her workout routine. Of course while she had taken a break from running Emily had kept up which made her a little faster. Now that the weather had warmed up and summer was about to begin she was working hard to get back into a workout routine. She was determined to be in shape if and when she was able to return to LA. She shook her head as she could hear the grief she would get from the guys if she wasn't in the same shape she was when she left. She watched as Emily raced ahead of her and her thoughts quickly changed from the guys and her workout to the woman in front of her, specifically how she looked in her tight spandex pants. They were the same pants Emily wore that morning at the farmer's market so many months ago.

"Hey!"

Rachel was startled from her thoughts by Emily's shout "What?"

"Stop starring at my ass!" Emily laughed as she continued to jog the last little bit to Rachel's house backwards so she could keep an eye on her girlfriend. The smirk she received in return was all the confirmation she needed but she didn't need confirmation, she always knew when Rachel was watching her. In the past she hadn't been overly crazy about someone she was seeing watching her, but with Rachel it was different. She could feel the love the blonde held for her simply from a look.

"Then quit wearing those pants!" Rachel said as she closed the gap between them.

Emily turned into Rachel's driveway and continued her backwards jog. "Only if you stop wearing a bra when we run." She placed her hands over her chest and made a slight juggling motion "I like watching the girls bounce!"

Rachel now had to slow down from laughing so hard. "I can't do that, with knockers this size I'd give myself a black eye!" Now both women were laughing uncontrollably. It was short lived however when Emily ran into the back corner of Rachel's Jeep, knocking her to the ground. Rachel watched her fall almost as if it was in slow motion. The brunette squealing as she hit the pavement.

"Emily!" Rachel shouted as she ran the short distance to where Emily was laying on the ground.

"Damnit!" Emily shouted as she held her shoulder and rolled to her left side. She had managed to somehow not hit her head but her shoulder felt as if it had taken the brunt of the fall.

"Are you okay?" Rachel asked as she knelt next to her girlfriend.

Emily bit her bottom lip as she tried to hold back her tears "Yep." Then taking a deep breath "My shoulder's killing me though."

Rachel put her arms underneath Emily and helped her to her feet. After being sure nothing was broken they slowly made their way inside. "Do you want to go to the doctor?"

"No, I'm okay." Emily said as she settled onto the sofa. She chuckled as Rachel brought her a couple pain relievers "Guess I should pay more attention to what I'm doing instead of your boobs"

Rachel nodded "Maybe we should just stop checking one another out so much." Both were quiet for a moment before bursting into laughter…. that will never happen.

Later that evening Emily was sitting up in Rachel's bed reading a book while the blonde was going about her nightly routine. Rachel stood in the doorway of her bathroom brushing her teeth and watched her girlfriend for a minute "How's your shoulder?"

Emily bookmarked her page and rotated her shoulder as she laid the book on the bedside table "Still sore, along with the rest of my body." She rolled her eyes but grinned, she still couldn't get over how clumsy she had been. She smiled though when she looked up and saw Rachel standing next to the bed holding the heating pad. She had mentioned once that putting a heating pad on her shoulder helped with the pain. Now anytime it appeared she was hurting Rachel would get it out and lay it over her shoulder.

After making sure Emily was comfortable Rachel climbed into bed and turned the television on. "Better?" the smile and nod she received in return melted her heart. They turned their attention to the entertainment news program that was on. In what had become routine on the night's they were together they would watch the program for a few minutes then the ten o'clock news before going to sleep. Both thought about what a change it was from their lives before. Gone were the nights of being stuck at the precinct, following down leads, pouring over case files and writing motions. Now here they were in the mid-West doing the things that any other couple would do.

The current story was on yet another celebrity affair. Emily shook her head "I will never understand cheating. Why do they think they'll get away with it?"

Rachel nodded in agreement "Has it ever happened to you?"

"Once." Emily sighed. "She was only the second woman I ever dated, and the first one I dated seriously. We had been together about four months when I caught her with another woman. I went out for drinks one evening with some people from work and as we were leaving she came around the corner hugged up to a redhead." She shook her head "What in the world do people see in redheads?"

Rachel shook her head as her mind briefly drifted to Casey. "I dated a redhead once, turns out we were better friends than lovers."

"You ever been cheated on?"

Rachel nodded "A guy I was dating in college. It turned out that a woman he had wanted to date was suddenly free but he didn't want to break up with me either so he just decided to see us both. Needless to say neither one of us was too happy when we found out what he was doing. What was her excuse for cheating on you?"

Emily rolled her eyes as she looked over "According to her, and I quote, 'I wasn't putting out enough'." Rachel's mouth opened slightly and her eyes widened. "I know, right? She was the second woman I had slept with and I was still nervous and inexperienced, and even a little uncomfortable at time."

Rachel leaned in a little closer "And now?"

"Uncomfortable and nervous aren't even in my vocabulary when it comes to being with you."

"And you're definitely not inexperienced." Rachel said as she pressed their lips together. When they parted Rachel began laughing as she caught sight of the actress on the screens outfit. "Do they not own a mirror? The outfits some of these people choose!"

"I don't care what anyone says but that is not fashion." Emily said of the outfit that looked like it was out of a futuristic science fiction movie.

By the time the news started they had settled down further into the bed and preparing to go to sleep. Emily leaned over and unplugged the heating pad and sat it to the side since the soreness in her shoulder had eased. She was barely paying attention but the anchor's words caused her to turn her attention back to the screen.

"_And in news from around the country tonight police in Miami were fired on after a drug bust early this morning. Authorities from multiple agencies took part in a round up this morning where drugs were being brought into the US by way of chartered boats. One Coast Guard official and two DEA agents were injured during the shootout but their injuries are not life threatening. Three of the smugglers were also shot, two are in critical condition while the other is expected to make a full recovery. More than two dozen were arrested and an estimated one million dollars in cocaine was confiscated. The smugglers are believed to be working for Colombian cartel leader Cezar Velez." _Hearing the name Emily froze as she stared at the screen_ "Velez has been wanted by US authorities for years now and was actually the target of a raid earlier this year but was tipped off before authorities were able to make an arrest."_

Emily began taking slow, deep breaths as she tried to remain calm. There wasn't a day that went by that she didn't think about her situation but the fear wasn't as severe as it was in the beginning. The feeling of safety was something she credited her blonde girlfriend with. While she was still scared at times, worried when someone looked at her a little too long, she had an overwhelming feeling of safety when around Rachel. She knew deep down that Rachel would protect her at all costs.

Rachel was leaning over to kiss Emily goodnight when she noticed her taking deep breaths. "Baby, are you okay?"

"What?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah….yeah, I'm fine." Then another deep breath "Just still a little sore." Her body began to relax when Rachel leaned in for a gentle goodnight kiss.

"If you need anything wake me up. I don't care what it is."

Emily smiled as she rolled onto her left side and snuggled up to the other woman "I love you."

"And I love you."

In the early morning hours Rachel woke to Emily tossing and turning. She had thought that maybe her shoulder was hurting again and was trying to get comfortable but when she heard the whimpering she knew she was dreaming. In the time they had been sleeping together she had learned that the brunette had nightmares from time to time but would rarely talk about it. All she knew was that they were about the shooting. Not wanting to startle her she gently laid a hand on her arm "Emily? Emily, sweetie, wake up."

Emily sat up suddenly and shouted "Nick!"

Rachel jumped from the scream as well as Emily's sudden movement. She could tell by the look in Emily's eyes that she wasn't fully awake yet. She reached out to touch her, causing Emily to jump "Emily, honey, you're okay."

Emily gasped for air as she woke and felt a hand on her. When she saw Rachel next to her she slowly began to calm down but continued to take quick, shallow breaths.

Rachel had turned the lamp on and slowly wrapped her arm around Emily, grateful she didn't pull away. "Baby you have to take deep breaths, you're going to hyperventilate." Once she had her attention she began taking slow breaths as well urging the brunette to follow her lead "Come on sweetie, that's it, nice deep breaths."

"Rachel?" Emily asked as she seemed to finally shake herself from the last remnants of her dream.

Rachel nodded "Yeah baby, it's me." she pulled the brunette closer and sighed in relief when Emily leaned into her. They sat quietly for a minute as Emily tried to calm down. "You had another nightmare." Emily nodded "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not right now."

"Okay."

Emily hadn't had a nightmare this bad since just after she and Rachel began dating, and she knew it was all because of the mention of Velez in the news report. She blew out a breath before pulling away "I need to go to the bathroom." Once alone she took a few minutes to gather her thoughts. She splashed cold water on her face and dried off before heading back into the bedroom. Just like when she left Rachel was still sitting up with a concerned look on her face. Emily smiled weakly "I'm okay."

"Is there anything I can do?"

At that Emily smiled as she slid back into bed "Just keep being you, I couldn't ask for more." After Rachel laid down Emily settled against her and rested her head on her chest. "I'm sorry I woke you up."

"It's okay." Rachel reached out to turn the lamp off but looked back when she felt Emily's hand on her arm.

"Um…would you mind if we left that on for a while?"

Rachel laid back, Emily along with her "I don't mind." It wasn't very bright and at that moment she would do whatever Emily needed. She placed a kiss to the top of Emily's head "I love you."

Emily rose up for a kiss that lingered longer than she had intended "I love you too."

Rachel listened until she heard Emily's breathing even out and her body relax. She was glad it was Friday night and they didn't have to work the next day because she knew she wouldn't be getting much sleep. She lay awake for a couple more hours and watched over her girlfriend, ready to protect her from whatever was haunting her.

While both were exhausted the next day they went about their normal Saturday routine of going to the farmer's market that morning and a trip to the grocery store afterwards. Rachel sometimes had to chuckle to herself when it came to making a shopping trip, gone were the days of takeout or stopping to buy something for that evening. In a weird way it made her feel more settled. In some strange way the upheaval of her life had actually given her a calmer life.

With the warm weather now upon them they decided to pack a picnic and head to a nearby park for lunch. "I really am sorry about last night." Emily said as she popped the last bite of the BLT Rachel had made into her mouth.

Rachel reached out and squeezed her hand "There's nothing to be sorry for. I'm just glad I was there for you." she reached into the little cooler she had brought their lunch in and pulled out the strawberry shortcakes Emily had put together for dessert. She had to admit she was impressed with their growing culinary skills.

They sat quietly as they ate, watching kids playing and people taking a leisurely afternoon stroll. Both smiled and commented as an elderly couple passed by. The couple was holding hands and the look of contentment on their faces made both ladies hope that that would be them in the future.

When they returned to Emily's Rachel finally asked the question she had been holding back for fear of ruining their afternoon. "So, um, who's Nick?"

Emily furrowed her eyebrows as she turned "Huh?"

Rachel looked down for a moment "I was just wondering who Nick is. You um, you shouted his name last night during your dream."

Emily nodded for a moment as she flashed back to her nightmare. Every time she dreamt of that night the situation was different, but last night was more disturbing. _She was laying on the sidewalk, her shoulder on fire from the bullet and Nick crouched next to her telling her to hold on. Suddenly there was more gunfire and she saw Nick jerk as a bullet pierced his chest. She wanted to help him, save him, tell him to hang on like he was doing for her but she couldn't. The more she tried to speak the harder it became. Finally with one last burst of energy she was able to say his name. _

"Nick is um…" she tried to come up with a good story for who he was but her mind was failing her. When she saw the look in Rachel's eyes she knew what she was asking "He's not an ex, I promise."

"I wasn't thinking that!" Rachel rushed out.

Emily grinned slightly "It's okay if you were. I mean I shouted a man's name in my sleep. I'd be a little curious if you had done the same thing." She blew out a breath as an idea finally came to her "Nick was one of the guys with me when I was shot, he was a security guard. I dreamt that the guy who shot me shot Nick while he was trying to help me."

Rachel pulled her in for a hug "I'm so glad you told me." her eyes widening and shaking her head "Not that I didn't believe you I just…" now she was stammering. Seeing Emily smiling at her she relaxed "I'm just glad you finally talked about it. I want you to know you can talk to me about anything and everything. I can't be in there to chase the nightmares away," she said as she lightly ran her fingers along Emily's temple "But I can hold you here when it happens."

Emily teared up as her mouth turned into a slight pout "I'm so glad I found you." she whispered before leaning in for a kiss.

The week passed at an agonizing pace for both women. Emily had worked over a couple evenings to help get caught up with their most recent cases limiting their ability to get together. Rachel on the other hand worked over a couple evenings with the rest of the staff to clean the daycare after several children had come down with a virus. While it had been several days Emily still had trouble shaking her nightmare. She had gone online one evening and searched several Miami newspapers to find out what she could about the drug bust and see if there was any more mention of Velez. She even went as far one evening to call Kelly and ask if she was in any danger. The Marshal reassured her that she was safe and that with the added attention on him Velez would most likely be laying very low at the moment. That was a good thing for the brunette, Velez and his associates would be doing very little to attract attention to themselves.

On Friday evening Rachel left work and headed to Emily's. She knew the brunette would be working over again that evening and she wanted to prepare a relaxing evening for when she arrived home. She had recently tried a new pasta dish that Emily had gone nuts over and decided to fix it again. Rachel was upstairs in Emily's bedroom changing when she heard the brunette come in downstairs. She had just pulled a t-shirt over her head when Emily walked into the bedroom. "You looks so tired." She chuckled lightly at the sight in front of her.

Emily dropped her shoes in the floor that she had taken off in the car and sighed "I'm so ready for this week to be over. I just need a good night's sleep."

"You need to relax and that's what I plan on helping you do this evening." Rachel said as she walked toward her girlfriend. She placed her hands on Emily's hips and began kissing her as she slowly backed her up against the wall. As the kiss continued Rachel took Emily's shirt in her hands and slowly began pulling it free from her skirt then slipped her hands underneath.

"Dear God." Emily sighed as she felt Rachel's lips brushing against her neck. She ran her hands up Rachel's arms as the blonde slipped her hands inside her bra. "You have the best hands."

Rachel chuckled as she pressed light kisses down Emily's neck and across her upper chest. "Just you wait." She unbuttoned Emily's shirt and continued her kisses down her chest and abdomen, stopping briefly to flick her tongue across a freckle just below Emily's breast. As Rachel slowly dropped to her knees she felt Emily shudder above her. She placed her hands on Emily's calf's and slowly began working up her thighs, continuing to kiss her abdomen and keep their eyes locked. When she reached Emily's thighs she began slowly working her skirt up and lightly scraping her nails along the backs of her thighs.

Emily's entire body shuddered, she loved when Rachel would do that. "You're killing me here."

"Patience." She pushed Emily's skirt up around her waist and placed a kiss to her mound. She pulled Emily's panties to the side and kissed her again before lightly stroking her with her tongue.

Emily moaned as she dropped her head back against the wall. She placed her hand on the back of Rachel's head and began tangling her fingers in her hair. "Please baby."

"Not yet." Rachel teased. She hooked her fingers around Emily's blue lace panties and skirt, and began sliding them down her legs. She placed her hands on Emily's behind and squeezed as she pulled her forward, sticking her tongue out and sliding it through her folds as she did so.

"Shit." Emily hissed at the feel of Rachel's tongue circling her clit and her hands on her ass. She began unconsciously thrusting her hips forward in an attempt to get relief.

"Ahh, ahh, ahh." Rachel said against her skin causing a vibration. "Just relax and let me do the work."

As much as she wanted and needed relief Emily relaxed into her girlfriend's touch and looked down to enjoy the show. Her breath catching as she looked down at the blonde who was looking back up at her, the look in her eyes was pure love. 'I love you.' Emily mouthed.

"Mmm, I love you to." Rachel said as she continued to kiss her. Feeling the slight shaking in Emily's legs Rachel knew she wasn't far off. She placed one finger against her girlfriend's entrance applying light pressure but not entering her. She placed her lips around Emily's most sensitive spot and began sucking while swiping her tongue across it lightly. Looking up and seeing Emily's eyes tightly shut she pulled back briefly "Open your eyes baby." before resuming

Emily opened her eyes and looked down. A powerful orgasm ripping through her as Rachel ran her tongue around her clit. "Rachel!"

Rachel slowed her ministrations before standing up and being pulled in for a passionate kiss. "Mmm," she whispered between kisses "I love hearing you scream my name."

Emily held her close as she waited for her body to recover. "And I love screaming your name."

"I'm gonna make dinner." Emily simply nodded against her shoulder. When she pulled back the brunette looked more relaxed than she'd seen her in a while. "How do you feel?"

Emily smiled "Like I've been thoroughly loved by the most wonderful woman on the planet."

Rachel kissed her again. "You get changed and I'll start dinner." She was leaving the room when Emily grabbed her wrist and pulled her back.

"And you're gonna be dessert."


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Thank you all for the continued support. I've had some things going on this past week and working on this has been a way of getting my mind off things. I apologize if it's not up to par with my normal writing but I like this chapter. There are things in here I'm sure ya'll have wondered if they would happen, and things I'm sure you'll enjoy (I'm looking at you my partner in crime). To Little Miss Nicap: Thanks for everything. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 16

"You're kidding, right?" Emily asked as her mouth hung open.

Rachel laughed and shook her head no. "Come on, it'll be fun." The blonde almost whined.

"Camping?" Emily shook her head. "Have you ever been camping?"

"Once." _'If spending the night on the beach as a teen with your boyfriend counts.'_ She thought to herself. "Aww, come on Emily…it'll be fun! Friday is a holiday and we're not working. We could leave that morning and come back on Sunday. It'll only be two nights." She grinned as she wrapped her arm around the brunette's waist "Don't you think being cuddled up together in a sleeping bag sounds like fun?"

"We could put a sleeping bag on the floor and sleep there if that's what you want to do." she sighed knowing she wasn't going to win this argument, especially with the puppy dog eyes she was receiving. She couldn't turn down that look "Oh all right. I'll go."

Friday morning they packed their things into the back of Rachel's Jeep and set off for a campground on the shore of Lake Michigan. As they drove down the highway the radio was blaring, Emily with her bare feet propped on the dash and singing along. Emily looked over and saw the grin on the blonde's face "What?" Rachel's smile widened and she simply shrugged "What?"

"You're just so freakin cute!"

Emily burst into laughter. "Whatever." She was about to continue when she realized the song that was playing. "Ooh!" she shouted as she turned the music up. She leaned over closer and smiled as she sang along "You're my brown eyed girl!"

"You're crazy." Rachel laughed.

"Yeah but you love me anyway."

Rachel reached over and squeezed her hand "More than anything in the world." she watched as her girlfriend continued to sing along to the classic song. It was like looking at a scene from a movie, Emily's long legs on display as she kept her feet on the dash, a few strands of hair that had worked their way loose from her ponytail dancing from the slightly open window and her aviators on. While she desperately missed LA and her friends she had finally accepted that if this was what her life was going to be she would at least be happy.

After a couple hours' drive they pulled into the campground. Rachel ran inside the little office to pay and get directions to their campsite. When she came back Emily was leaning against the Jeep watching a group of kids ride their bikes in the direction of the lake.

"Having a little childhood nostalgia?"

Emily grinned "A little. I was just trying to remember the last time I was on a bike."

"Well they rent bikes here." Rachel said as she climbed behind the wheel. She pointed to the office as she drove off "If you want to go for a ride we could come down here and rent a couple. The guy also told me that down at the lake there's a boathouse where we can rent kayaks, paddle boats and things like that. He also said that if we forgot anything that little store we passed before turning in carried a lot of basics plus food and camping supplies. They also have firewood, I'm going to run back out there after we're settled and get some."

Emily's eyes widened as she looked over "You're not seriously considering building a fire are you?"

Rachel gave her a look that said that should've been obvious "Um…yeah." Seeing the look she was getting she continued "You can't go camping and not have a campfire."

"We're in the middle of the woods!"

"Yeah and how many other people will have fires?" she squeezed Emily's thigh "Don't worry it'll be okay. I have a fire extinguisher in the trunk, we'll make sure it's completely out before we go to sleep or leave. Okay?"

Emily sighed "Okay."

"Right there, 25!" Emily shouted as she saw the number indicating their site.

Rachel pulled in and both climbed from the Jeep. As they looked around they realized they got a pretty nice spot. There were other campers nearby but not too close. They were up on a little bit of a slope with a small stream running nearby. When they turned to look back down from where they came they could see the lake through the trees. Already Emily was beginning to think this was a better idea than she had originally thought. "It's so peaceful here."

Rachel wrapped her arm around her waist and pulled her close. "Now, aren't you glad I convinced you to do this?"

Seeing the smug grin on the blonde's face Emily lightly elbowed her in the ribs "Yeah, yeah. Since it was your idea I suggest you get to work on that tent."

Thirty minutes later the tent was still on the ground. Rachel was standing on one side with her hands on her hips, staring at the sky praying she wouldn't start crying from frustration. Emily was standing on the opposite side of the tent with the directions in her hand and trying to make sense of them. "This is ridiculous!" she exclaimed as she hit the side of her leg with the paper "How is it, that two college educated people cannot set a tent up?" _'I have a Harvard law degree for crying out loud!'_

Rachel took a deep breath and ran her fingers through her hair "Okay, it can't be that difficult. We're just making it harder than it really is."

"Says the woman who didn't even bother to look at the directions." Emily huffed. Seeing the slight look of hurt on Rachel's face she softened "I'm sorry."

"Good morning ladies!"

Both looked back to see a couple who appeared to be in their sixties approaching. They smiled and tried to keep the frustration from their voices as they walked over. "Hello." Rachel answered.

The couple extended their hands which Emily and Rachel shook "My name is David and this is my wife Donna, we're camp hosts."

"My name is Rachel," the blonde said, then a little unsure as to how much to give away "And this is Emily."

"I'm sorry, but what is a camp host?" Emily asked.

Donna laughed "We're essentially the welcome wagon. As you noticed this is a pretty big campground and each area has a camp host. We're here all summer and we just help out with whatever campers may need, make sure sights are cleaned up when campers leave, that sort of thing."

David pointed back down the road and explained where their campsite was. "If you ladies need anything at all don't hesitate to ask."

"Thank you so much." Emily replied.

The couple was about to walk away when Donna spoke up "I couldn't help but notice it seemed like you were having trouble with your tent."

Both ladies blushed slightly and Rachel spoke up "Well, a little. This is a first time camping for both of us and I think we underestimated how to do this."

The older woman chuckled and waved her hand "It's a piece of cake once you know how. Would you like some help?"

"If we plan on getting this set up before we go home I think we're going to need it." Rachel replied with a laugh.

Within fifteen minutes the tent was set. Rachel and Emily profusely thanked their hosts for their help before the older couple left. Deciding it would be best to keep their food in the Jeep they opened the coolers and pulled out the sandwiches they had made and took a seat in the camp chairs they had purchased. "It's so peaceful out here." Emily said as she slid down in her seat and propped her feet up on the bench of the picnic table that was at their site.

"It is, isn't it?"

They relaxed for a little while before deciding to walk down to the lake. They took time walking along the shoreline and taking pictures of the view as well as one another. "You want to rent a boat or something?" Rachel asked as they sat with their feet in the water.

"Are you serious?" Emily asked, earning a strange look in return "Did you forget what happened in Memphis?"

"Oh, yeah." Rachel made a face "Maybe staying off the water is a better idea."

They stayed at the lake for a couple hours before heading back to their campsite. As they were walking back Emily noticed a young man waving in their direction. She nudged Rachel who smiled. "That's the guy who was working in the office when I checked in." Rachel raised her hand and waved back at him "Hey Alex!"

Emily stumbled slightly at hearing Rachel say her real name. She had always wondered what her name on Rachel's tongue would sound like, it was perfect.

Rachel looked over when she felt Emily stumble "You okay baby?"

Emily nodded as she tried to find her voice "Yeah… uh, yeah…I just tripped over a rock." She knew her excuse was lame but she couldn't come up with anything else.

When they got back to the tent Rachel started a fire and set a grate over it so they could cook their dinner while Emily pulled the cast iron pan and hamburgers from the Jeep. She was fighting the urge to cry after hearing Rachel say her name. She often wondered if she would ever get the chance to hear her say it. Once when she was feeling very homesick she came close to asking Rachel if during sex she would call her 'Alex'. After a lengthy internal debate she decided that would be a bad idea. She continued to hold out hope though that one day she could hear Rachel call her 'Alex'.

They made their dinner and sat at the picnic table as they ate. Both were impressed that for two people who had barely mastered cooking in a kitchen they managed to cook over an open flame and the food was still edible. "These are probably the best burgers I've ever ate!" Emily exclaimed as she popped the last bite in her mouth.

"I have to admit they were pretty awesome." Rachel said as she began clearing the table. She pulled a bag from the cooler and smiled "How about s'mores for dessert?"

They sat around the campfire roasting marshmallows and talking about things that happened in the past week. It was how they normally spent their time together, minus the convenience of home. Both still found it hard to believe they had gone from an existence of working, going home and returning to work. Now they had one another, they may still live alone but they shared a life. It was still hard to believe at times.

"Please stop me before I eat all of them!" Rachel said as she made her fifth s'more.

"You're gonna have to stop me. This is my sixth." Emily said as she took a bite, a gooey piece of marshmallow sticking to her lips.

Rachel leaned over quickly and kissed her "Mmm, sweeter than usual."

By the time they were done both were miserable. "Why don't we go for another walk? See if we can work some of it off."

Emily groaned as she stood "I'd like to just collapse in there and pray I'm not puking my guts up in a couple hours." She said pointing to the tent.

"Yeah, because the closest bathrooms are a couple hundred feet that way." Rachel pointed down across the road.

Emily stood and took her girlfriend's hand as they began walking "Just so you know if I have to go during the night you're going with me."

"What if I don't have to go?"

"You're going anyway. I'm not walking over there in the dark by myself!"

Rachel laughed and kissed her cheek. She was just giving the brunette a hard time, she wouldn't remotely allow Emily to go out in the dark by herself. "I'll be your big, bad guard dog."

Emily ran her fingers through Rachel's hair "Good girl."

They decided to take the long way over to the lake then circle back around by the entrance and back to their site. As they walked hand in hand both wondered if people would be staring or giving them looks but it wasn't the case. Some barely gave them a second glance and those who did would smile and wave or say 'hello'. Both internally decided it was a far cry from the big cities they were from where people could barely be bothered to look you in the eye.

"It looks like it's going to rain." Rachel said as she looked at the sky.

"Eh," Emily shrugged "I think it'll hold off."

As they left the lake and started back Emily's mind drifted back to hearing Rachel say 'Alex'. Throughout the afternoon and evening she had thought about hearing Rachel say it, what it would be like to hear her say 'I love you Alex'. Her mind then wondered what it would be like to hear her whisper 'Alex' instead of Emily in her sleep, to hear her cry out 'Alex' in pleasure.

"You're thinking so hard I can hear you over here." Rachel said a she continued to look straight ahead.

Emily couldn't help herself as she nodded toward the office "What did you say that boy's name was?"

"Who, Alex?" Emily nodded as she smiled at the sound of her name again. "His name is Alex…Alex… oh crap, what is his last name?" she wondered out loud.

'_Please don't let her remember so she'll keep repeating it.'_ Emily thought to herself.

"I can't remember now. It's Alex something or other." She looked up when she felt something hit her head "I really think it's about to rain." No sooner than the words left her mouth the sky opened up. It wasn't a downpour but it was a nice, steady rain. Both shouted in surprise as Rachel tightened her grip on Emily's hand and started to run.

Emily pulled her girlfriend back "Why run? We're already soaked." Seeing the incredulous look she was getting she explained further "Come on, how many times have you just walked in the rain?"

"Never."

"Exactly."

"And how many times have you?"

Emily grinned "Never, but come on, it's the middle of July. We're not gonna sick. Besides, how often would we do something like this?"

Rachel grinned as she shook her head "Might as well. We're both drenched after standing here listening to you explain why we should." She hooked her arm around the brunette's as they walked up the road. While other campers were sitting in their tents, campers or under tarps set up for shelter the couple took their time and enjoyed simply walking in the rain.

When they got back they sat a small cooler with drinks and snacks in the tent in case they got hungry and climbed in. The tent wasn't huge but there was more than enough room for them both. "Why did you buy a tent that sleeps four when it's just us?"

"I wanted to make sure we had enough room. I worried that if it rained and we had to spend most of our time in here I didn't want us being cramped." Rachel said as she sat their wet shoes on a mat in the corner of the tent. They changed out of their wet clothes and into shorts and t-shirts. Rachel stretched a sheet out over the foam mattress topper she had brought for them to sleep on. She knew Emily was a little picky when it came to sleeping, she knew the brunette would not be comfortable on the ground. They lay back and listened to the rain as it gently hit the top of their tent.

"This is so relaxing." Emily sighed as she felt her entire body relax.

"Yeah it is."

They talked about the most random topics as they listened to the rain. It was one thing both loved about their relationship, the ability to talk about anything and everything.

"I don't think I can hold my eyes open much longer." Rachel whispered as she felt sleep slowly overtaking her.

Emily rolled over and lightly kissed her neck as she ran her fingertips along Rachel's forearm "Do you think you can stay awake just a little longer?"

Rachel chuckled lightly as she pulled the brunette on top of her "I think I can manage a little longer."

The next morning after breakfast they walked back down to the office where they rented bikes and spent most of the morning riding around the campground and shoreline. It was the first time either had ridden a bike in more years than they cared to count, but there was something so fun and relaxing about it. Each laughing as they raced one another on the path that ran along the lake.

"You wanna go swimming?" Rachel asked as they ate lunch.

Emily took another bite of the grilled cheese and tomato sandwich they had made for lunch "Where?"

Rachel stared at her for a moment "In…the lake."

"Seriously?" Rachel nodded. "You don't know what's in there."

"You've swam in the ocean and you don't know what's in there. Besides, why did we bother packing our bathing suits if we weren't going swimming?"

Seeing the look she was getting Emily sighed "Oh alright." _'My lawyer skills are slipping'_ she thought _'I can't win an argument against her for nothing'._

"Oh, man that's cold!" Rachel said in a voice slightly higher than her regular voice as they waded out into the water.

"Hey, it was your idea! No complaining now." She readjusted the sleeveless shirt she was wearing over her bathing suit. Even in front of Rachel she was still self-conscious about her scar, she wasn't ready for everyone to see it. "I have to admit though," she said as she eyed her girlfriend again "You look really great in that bathing suit."

Rachel looked down at her black two piece "You sure?"

"Absolutely."

"You look pretty great yourself."

Emily laughed "Yeah, me and my white shirt."

"Yes, you and your white shirt." Rachel leaned in and kissed her cheek "Besides, I know what's under that shirt and I know it's amazing."

After spending a while swimming they went back to their tent to change then got on their bikes and rode down to the boathouse. Neither had ever been fishing and wanted to give it try. A young woman working the in the boathouse took them down to a quiet spot on the edge of the lake for their lesson.

"So you say this is your first time fishing?" Megan asked as she opened the tackle box.

Both nodded in reply "We're not going to use real worms are we?" Emily asked as she tried not to let her face show how disgusting she found the idea.

"Only if you want to." She laughed as both women shook their heads no. After getting them set and giving a lesson in how to cast she stepped back and gave them a chance. Emily cast her line first and was so excited to see it land in the water. She looked over and watched as Rachel followed suit, the blonde being not as lucky as she released too soon and got the hook caught in the grass. Megan gave her a hand and after a couple more tries finally managed to get her line in the water.

"Okay this is a little boring." Rachel whispered after nearly an hour and not a single bite.

"I think it's kinda relaxing." Emily said. The word no sooner left her mouth when she felt a tug on her line "I…I think I've got something."

Megan sat her fishing pole down and stepped over to help "Okay, begin reeling your line in." she touched the line and feeling the tension knew the brunette did indeed have a bite. "Okay keep reeling, you've almost go it." she walked to the water's edge, motioning Emily to follow, and held out a net. "Okay its right there, just reach in with your net and get it."

Emily dipped the net in the water and began laughing as she saw the fish wiggling away inside "I did it! I actually caught a fish!" she looked at Rachel who was smiling as she walked over. She looked back again and her expression changed "It's so ugly."

Megan laughed as she reached in and pulled it out "It's a catfish."

Rachel furrowed her eyebrow as she looked at it "It's kinda cute in its own fishy way."

Megan gave a quick explanation of the fish and took the hook out then asked if they would were going to keep it.

Emily shook her head "I want to let it go." The young woman held the fish out to her "What?"

Megan grinned "It's your catch, you let it go."

Emily wrinkled her nose and shot Rachel a look for laughing as she hooked her thumb in the fish's mouth the same way Megan was. She shivered slightly as she felt it move in her hands and quickly leaned down and eased it into the water. She had to smile though as it quickly swam away.

They were about to leave when Rachel finally caught her own, a nice sized small mouth bass. She was a little more adventurous than her girlfriend and removed the hook herself with some instruction. She was about to release it back into the water when it wriggled from her grasp and dropped onto Emily's feet and began flopping around. Rachel and Megan both laughed as the brunette shrieked and pulled away. Rachel grabbed it and quickly put in the water, relieved to see it swimming away. Before leaving the boathouse they left their email addresses with Megan and she promised to send them the pictures she took of them with their catch.

After dinner they spent the rest of the evening around the campfire roasting marshmallows and eating s'mores. While they missed the comforts of home they had to admit that taking a few days to get away from the crowds, to disconnect and enjoy one another's company was something they should do more often. When they climbed into their tent that night they were so exhausted they were asleep before they hit the pillow.

"Rachel. Rachel."

"What?" Rachel asked sleepily as she felt Emily shake her.

"I have to pee."

"So go."

Emily sighed "I'm not going by myself in the dark. You have to come with me."

"But I don't have to go." Rachel mumbled as she buried her head further into her pillow.

Emily huffed "Come on! You said you would go with me."

Rachel sighed as she sat up and rubbed her eyes. She knew she wouldn't let Emily go alone but she was sleeping so well. "Alright." She grabbed a flashlight and slipped on a sweatshirt and her shoes "Am I gonna have to wipe for you too?" she asked sarcastically.

"Jerk." Emily whispered and gave the blonde a shove as they started down the path.

The next morning they packed their things to leave. Both agreed this was something they wanted to do again in the future. On the drive home they made a few stops at farm stands along the road to pick up items for the week ahead. Rachel dropped Emily off at her house to unpack but the brunette promised she would see her later that evening as she was going to stay the night with the blonde.

"I had a couple steaks in the freezer, how does that with sautéed mushrooms and baked potatoes sound?" Rachel asked as she heard Emily come in.

"Delicious." Emily said as she wrapped her arms around Rachel's waist and kissed her cheek. Then smiling as the blonde turned in her arms for a deeper kiss.

After another lingering kiss Rachel turned back to their dinner. "Oh," she said as she pointed to the counter "There's something there for you. Do you remember me telling you that Ina's son and daughter in law are expecting? She sent an invitation to the baby shower for you along with mine since she didn't know your address."

"How sweet!" Emily said as she opened the envelope and smiled at the card with a pink teddy bear on it. "I love the name they've picked! Olivia Renee."

Rachel held her breath in anticipation of Emily saying the infant's name. She had longed to hear the brunette say her name. It was more wonderful than she had imagined. "It's a cute name." she said with a smile as she hoped the tears in her eyes weren't visible.

"Olivia Renee." Emily smiled as she repeated it again. "I've always loved the name Olivia."

Rachel suddenly found herself formulating a plan in her mind to discuss the baby and shower as often as possible just to hear Emily say her real name.

"Ya know," Emily said as she walked over and leaned back against the counter so she could watch the blonde "I always thought if I ever had a little girl I would name her Olivia."

Rachel dropped the wooden spoon in her hand as she looked up with a surprised expression "You've thought about having kids?"

Emily grinned "Why, are you offering?" watching the blonde stutter and blush caused her to laugh "Calm down sweetie, I'm not referring to us. I just meant that I'd always liked the name and that if by chance I ever did have a daughter that name was at the top of the list."

"Sorry." Rachel said as she grinned and looked down.

"Don't be. While I love you and love being with you I think it's still a little too soon to be discussing babies. I mean we don't even live together for crying out loud. We'll just keep going like we have been and let things happen naturally."

"Well if you're referring to one of us knocking the other up I think that's one thing neither of us have to worry about naturally happening."

Now neither could contain their laughter. Emily leaned in for another kiss. "Okay smartie," she said as she started down the hall toward the bedroom to put away her outfit for work the next day.

Rachel shook her head and smiled as she went back to their dinner _'If I ever have kids that's who I want it to be with.'_ "Love you!" she called out, her smile growing wider when she heard Emily's voice echo the same.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Thank you again for all your kind reviews. Just reading them makes me smile. While I thought the idea for this story was great I never imagined it would take off like it has. My partner in crime and I are very grateful. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 17

Emily sighed as she looked at her watch for what felt like the hundredth time. She had agreed to accompany Janet to a dinner with fellow insurance agents in Madison, she was officially bored out of her mind. While she tried to smile and not let her boss know how bored she was it was difficult. She caught herself more than once repeating New York penal code in her mind. She had also kept up online with new sex crimes legislation, she wanted to be prepared if and when she returned home. Tonight however she just wanted to be with her girlfriend. Something had been off lately with Rachel and she couldn't quite figure out what it was. The blonde had been a little quieter than usual and was tossing and turning in her sleep. She knew Rachel couldn't be pushed and would open up in her own time so she settled for being as loving and as supportive as possible.

As the dinner was drawing to a close Emily grabbed a couple brownies from the dessert table, wrapped them in a napkin and put them in her purse. When she saw Janet looking at her she grinned "Rachel loves brownies."

Janet chuckled then tilted her open purse toward Emily where the brunette could see a napkin wrapped around something "My kids love brownies too." While walking out Janet turned to face her friend "I know you were bored but thank you for coming with me."

"Oh it wasn't that bad." Seeing the look she was getting she grinned "Okay it was a little boring, but at least the food was good."

Rachel lay on her couch staring at the ceiling. While she had been a little distant toward Emily lately at that moment she wished she was there with her. She was contemplating whether or not to bother with dinner when there was a knock at her door. She was more than a little surprised when she saw Tyler standing on the other side. She opened the door and tried to keep her nerves in check. Anytime she heard from him she grew nervous, it could mean she was free to go home or it could mean she was leaving again. Considering it was the first time she had seen him in almost a year she was more nervous than usual.

"Hey Rachel." The Marshal smiled.

"Hey Tyler." She said as she held the door open and welcomed him in.

"So how have you been?" he asked as he took a seat in a chair opposite her.

Rachel leaned forward and braced herself for what she was about to hear "I know you're not here just to check up on me. If that's all it was you would've called. So what's going on?"

He gave her a slight grin as he shook his head "You haven't changed a bit have you? Always cutting to the chase. Okay. There has been progress made against the LA Knights. There was also a recent takedown in New York involving several members of the Ricci crime family to which Sonny D has ties."

"That's all good but what does that mean for me?"

"Sonny was found guilty for the rape of Eliana and sentenced to five years." seeing her about to respond he held up his hand "I know, I think it should be longer too but unfortunately that's how it works sometimes."

Rachel nodded slowly then looked him in the eye "I still don't understand why you're hear though. You could've told me all of this over the phone."

He nodded and sighed before speaking "The night before last an officer who works in your precinct was shot while he and his partner sat in their car. A young man walked up to the driver's side window, leaned in and pointed a gun at the officer. He said 'It may have been a while but tell Detective Benson we haven't forgotten.' then he fired his weapon."

Rachel's eyes went wide with shock "Which officer? Who was it?"

"Officer Grant Whitten. Do you know him?"

Rachel felt tears in her eyes as she nodded "I do. He's only been on the force about five years or so. Is he okay?"

"He will be. The shot was at close range but he lunged for the man as he fired and the bullet entered between his neck and shoulder. It broke his collar bone and they did have to do surgery to repair some damage from a nicked artery but they expect him to make a full recovery. His partner managed to call it in and they lucked out that another unit was just around the corner. They caught him rounding the block."

Rachel was quiet as she processed what she'd been told. "It's nowhere near over, is it?"

Tyler gave her a sympathetic smile "I'm afraid not. While both we and the LAPD have made arrests and many have been put behind bars, you're still a target."

They both sat quietly for a bit as Rachel took it all in. She had leaned back against the couch, her chin resting in the palm of her right hand. She had pulled the sleeve of her gray hoodie up into her hand and inhaled the scent of her girlfriend. The same beloved gray hoodie that she insisted she be allowed to bring with her had also become a favorite of Emily's as well. The brunette had just worn it a day or two ago and it still smelled like her. It was the only thing bringing Rachel any comfort at the moment.

"So how are my guys?" she asked when she finally spoke.

"They're okay. I was in contact with your captain last night and he assured me that everyone in your unit is okay and that they miss you." seeing the tears again he walked over and placed a comforting hand on her arm "I didn't mean to upset you but I promised him I would tell you."

She smiled "I appreciate it too. How about Casey?"

"He figured you would ask and said that she was fine as well."

They sat quietly for a few more minutes before Rachel gave him a small smile "I don't want to sound mean or anything but my girlfriend should be back soon and I really don't want to have to explain the strange guy in my house."

He laughed as he stood to go "I thought I was your cousin if anyone asked?"

"The cousin I never told her about? Yeah, that would sound believable." She reached her hand out and smiled as he shook it "Thank you for coming here in person to tell me."

"You're welcome. I promise you we, as well as your guys, are doing everything we can to bring you back home."

"Thanks."

Once he was gone she returned to her position on the couch and lay there in silence. In all honesty she knew it would be at least another hour or so before Emily returned but after hearing the news she had she just wanted to be alone. She knew that the next day she would get off work before Emily so she would have a little free time. She made a plan to go to the local library and use their computers to look up what she could on the shooting. While she was tempted to do it from home she knew she couldn't. From time to time she would go to the library and spend some time going through the websites of the major LA newspapers just to see what was going on at home, and to see if there was any mention of her case.

"Honey, I'm home!" Emily laughed as she entered Rachel's house. It was something they both did when the other was already home and both got so much enjoyment from it. A couple lamps were on in the living room but there was no sign of the blonde. Walked through the house looking for her girlfriend and finally heard some light music coming from the television in the bedroom. She walked in and could see light through the cracked bathroom door. "Rachel?"

"Come on in."

Emily opened the door and smiled at the sight in front of her. Rachel was slouched down in the tub only her head and shoulders visible above the bubbles. A few candles were lit and the music drifted in from the bedroom. Emily sat down in the floor at the foot of the tub so they were facing one another and leaned back against the wall. "Expecting someone or just trying to relax?"

Rachel smiled as she opened her eyes "Both maybe." she slipped her hand out of the water and onto the edge of the tub where Emily reached out and grasped it. "Did you have a good time?"

Emily sat up and leaned in for a kiss before settling back "I was bored out of my mind." They both laughed "The food was good though. Have you eaten yet?"

"I reheated that pasta that was leftover."

"Well if it makes you feel any better I snuck a couple brownies out in my purse for you."

Rachel laughed as she looked at the brunette "I knew there was a reason I loved you." she then tugged on Emily's hand "Join me?"

Emily kissed her quickly and headed to the bedroom to undress while Rachel let most of the water out and replaced it with warm water. When she returned Emily was about to step into the tub but Rachel shook her head and slid forward. Emily settled in behind the blonde and wrapped her arms around her. They say quietly for a while listening to the music and enjoying being together. "So I know something's bothering you." Emily whispered.

Rachel sighed "I'm okay, really."

Emily nodded against her shoulder. "You know I'm here if you need me."

Rachel turned for a kiss "And I'm so thankful."

The days passed and Emily continued to subtly hint that she was there if Rachel wanted to talk but the blonde remained quiet. Emily wasn't without her own worries. The one year anniversary of her shooting was approaching, actually only a couple days away, and she was struggling with her feelings. Luckily she hadn't been having any nightmares about it but she was afraid they would surface any day now.

Saturday morning Emily lay in her bed watching Rachel sleep. The blonde had tossed and turned most of the night, whimpering at times and even talking once or twice but Emily couldn't make out what she was saying. Even though she could get up and start her day she decided that watching her girlfriend sleep was a better option. A few minutes passed when Rachel began moving again, Emily thought she was about to wake up but quickly realized she was dreaming. Next came the whimpering and groaning. She watched as Rachel's hand moved to her stomach and she groaned again.

"Rachel, honey, are you okay?" she whispered.

Rachel curled up more as she continued to dream. "Elliott." She whispered.

Emily raised an eyebrow at the name but didn't give it much thought. She reached over and took Rachel's hand in her own "Rachel, baby."

Rachel opened her eyes and took a moment to focus. She knew she had been dreaming but she wasn't quite sure about what. When she realized where she was she had to smile. Emily laying in front of her, her hair tousled from sleep and splayed out over the white pillowcase and her bare shoulder peeking out over the white sheet. Even though nothing happened between them the night before the brunette had gone to bed wearing nothing but her panties. Finding out that her girlfriend liked to sleep topless from time to time was something Rachel still enjoyed. "Morning."

Emily leaned over for a kiss. "Are you okay? You were groaning and holding your stomach at one point. Are you sick?"

The dream came back to her as she shook her head no. "I'm okay, I just had a bad dream." Seeing the concern in the brunette's eyes she knew she couldn't keep it in much longer "It's been a year since I was stabbed. I was dreaming about it."

Emily slid closer and wrapped her arm around Rachel's waist. "You wanna talk about it?"

Rachel shrugged "Not much to talk about. I mean I've already told you what happened. I guess it just hit me harder than I thought it would."

Emily slipped her hand under Rachel's shirt and began drawing little circles on her back. "I can understand that." she was quiet for a minute "Is that why you've been restless at night lately? You've been moving around a lot more than usual."

"Probably. I'm sorry I've been a little distant lately but I just couldn't get it off my mind."

Emily kissed her again "Don't apologize. I love you and I'm here for you, it doesn't matter what you need."

Rachel smiled "I love you." she lay there staring at the brunette for a minute before speaking again "I know it's getting close to when you were shot and I just didn't want to burden you with my problem."

Emily continued to trace circles "That's all part of a relationship, being here for one another, listening to one another. You know how when my shoulder hurts that you wish you could take the pain for me?" Rachel nodded. "I want to take this pain for you."

Rachel smiled but began tearing up "I'm a mess as times."

Emily smiled back "This mess was yours, but now your mess is mine." She kissed her again and was relieved to see Rachel smile as she pulled back. "Do you get what I'm trying to say?"

Rachel nodded "Your mess is mine too."

They spent the day together, mostly quiet and just relaxing. Knowing it had been a year, or nearly a year, since their injuries both spent the day contemplating how their lives had changed. They were sprawled out on Emily's couch watching television when Rachel spoke up "You know, as much as I hate I got stabbed I've realized if it hadn't happened I would've never met you."

Emily felt tears in her eyes as she looked over and saw the look of love reflecting back at her "I feel the same way. As much as it hurt, as much as my shoulder can still hurt, I can't imagine having never met you. As much as I think about how different things might be if that had never happened I can't imagine not having you in my life."

Rachel reached out and pulled Emily in for a tight hug "I can't imagine not having you in my life either."

They were quiet again for a while before Emily looked over "Um…who is Elliott?"

Rachel's eyes went wide "Huh?"

"This morning when you were dreaming you whispered Elliott. I was just kinda wondering who that was."

"He's a friend. He helped me pack up when I left." _'Technically it's not a lie.'_ She thought.

"Oh, okay." Seeing that Rachel was giving her a bit of a smirk she knew what it meant "I wasn't thinking it was an ex so just get that thought out of you head right now."

"Just giving you a hard time sweetie."

Emily went back to flipping through the channels but Rachel's mind was still turning. "So what you were saying a little bit ago about you can't imagine me not being in your life," she met Emily's gaze "What do you mean by that?"

Emily turned so they were facing one another. "I meant exactly what I said. I can't imagine my life without you in it. I can't imagine it and I don't want to imagine it."

Rachel began smiling, an almost goofy smile "So are you saying you see this as being a permanent thing?"

Now Emily's smile was matching Rachel's "I do. Do you see it that way?"

"I do." she took Emily's hand in her own and laced their fingers together. "So this is it, forever?"

Emily leaned in close, their lips almost touching "Forever."


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Thank you all for the great reviews of the last chapter. I know you all are curious about whether or not they'll learn the truth, all I ask is that you trust us. I did not expect to update again so soon and even more surprised this chapter is as long as it is. I think you'll like it though. It's amazing what happens when you're trying to focus your attention away from something. ****I mention that Rachel's hair has grown out. I'm picturing her with a hairstyle very similar to season 4. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 18

Emily smiled as she stood in the hall outside the daycare and watched her girlfriend through the window. Rachel had such a way with children and it continued to amaze her. Emily's smile grew wider though when she met Rachel's gaze and the blonde smiled. Emily gave a small wave while Rachel motioned she would just be another minute. While she waited her mind drifted back a couple weeks to their conversation on the couch. As the one year mark since the shooting approached she admitted to herself that it was permanent. They had said forever, and she truly meant it. She didn't say it because she was afraid she wouldn't return home or that she was settling for Rachel, she said it because she meant it. She had already decided that if she was allowed to return home she was going to ask Rachel to go with her, and if not she knew she would be okay. She was happy and in love, that was all that mattered.

"Hey!"

Emily jumped when she realized Rachel was trying to get her attention. "Hey."

"Where were you?" Rachel laughed.

Emily smiled as she whispered "I was thinking about how loved I am."

Rachel smiled as she bit back a few tears "More than you'll ever know."

Emily cleared her throat to keep her emotions in check "You ready to get out of here? I believe we have a dinner date."

"That we do."

They had almost made it to the elevator when they heard Ina calling out to them. They stopped as the older woman ran toward them "I forgot to ask you something. Do you two have plans for next Friday night?"

They looked to one another before Rachel spoke "Just hand out candy to trick or treaters." She had never handed out candy on Halloween and she had to admit she was excited at the idea.

"Well I wanted to invite you two to a Halloween party. It doesn't start until eight and lasts until eleven so you would still be able to hand out candy since trick or treating is from six to eight."

"What kind of party is it?" Emily asked.

"It's a Halloween party, you dress up, have fun." She looked between the two "Have you never been to a Halloween party?" Both shook their head no. "Well then you should come. It's at the community center that I volunteer at. There is a fee to enter, five dollars per person, and the money goes to a local organization that helps battered women and child abuse victims."

Immediately both knew it was a cause they would like to support. They had both discussed that domestic violence, child abuse and sexual assault were causes close to their heart. "Do we have to dress up?"

Ina laughed "You don't have to, there's always people who show up that don't. It's a sixties themed party though if you want to."

After rushing to their respective homes to freshen up and change they were now in Emily's car headed for one of their favorite restaurants. After their first date at Nola it had become a favorite but they hadn't been in a couple months.

As they sat enjoying their dinner, Emily having the shrimp and grits she had fallen in love with the first time and Rachel having the jambalaya, they talked about their earlier invitation. "So do you want to go?"

Rachel nodded "It sounds like fun, plus it's for a really good cause. What about you?"

"I think it sounds like fun too." She took a sip of her wine "Do you want to just go or dress up?"

Rachel shrugged "It doesn't matter, whatever you want to do."

Emily burst into laughter attracting the attention of a couple at the table next to them "Don't give me that. I can hear the wheels in your mind turning from here. You're already trying to come up with how you want to dress up."

Rachel smiled "Guilty your honor."

Emily kept the smile on her face but there was always a little pang when Rachel would say things that related to her old profession. Granted they didn't hurt as bad as it did at first but it was still there. Of course it didn't help when she made her own little courtroom related remarks from time to time. "So how do you want to dress up? It's the sixties so are we talking hippie or what?"

Rachel grinned and shook her head "I'm not telling."

"Seriously?"

"You'll find out soon enough. Just trust me, you're gonna love it."

As the days passed Emily was beginning to grow a little frustrated with the lack of info on their costumes. She had tried to do a little snooping one evening while at Rachel's for dinner, getting as far as finding a couple bags stashed in the closet but was busted before she was able to look inside. By Tuesday night she couldn't take it any longer. Rachel was sitting on the couch with her feet propped on the coffee table in front of her. Emily walked over and slowly straddled her lap.

Rachel raised her eyebrows and smiled as her hands gravitated to the brunette's hips "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I was just thinking how you don't want to tell me about our costumes and I'm tired of waiting." She leaned in for a kiss. "I want to know."

Rachel grinned "Don't you want to be surprised?"

"I'll be just as surprised now if you tell me." she leaned in for another kiss but surprised the blonde when she placed it next to her ear "You know you want to tell me." she said as she began placing kisses along Rachel's neck.

Rachel took a deep breath "No I don't."

Emily could feel the shiver beneath her and heard the shakiness in her girlfriend's breath "Yes. You. Do." Each word punctuated with and open mouthed kiss to her neck.

"Emily." she groaned.

Knowing she was almost there Emily went for the kill. She began lightly moving her lips over the area just below Rachel's left ear that she knew drove the blonde crazy while slowly grinding her pelvis down against her girlfriend's.

Rachel slid her hands around to Emily's backside and began massaging as she pushed up with her hips to meet the brunette's "Okay, okay I'll tell you."

Emily pulled back and smiled "See…that wasn't so hard was it."

"No, but you better be ready to follow through with this little tease after I tell you." seeing the sparkle in Emily's blue eyes she knew where their evening was headed. "Okay, don't laugh…I want us to go as Danny and Sandy from Grease."

Emily's eyes grew wide "Really? What made you come up with that?"

"Well we both like the movie, we had just watched it the other day so it was still on my mind." she shrugged her shoulders "I just thought it would be fun. If you don't like it we don't have to."

"No I think it sounds like fun. My only question is, who's going as who?"

Rachel grinned "Well I'm the blonde so I figured I would go as Sandy and you would be Danny."

Emily nodded as a grin began to slowly spread "Ooh…you in tight shirt, pants and heels…."she trailed off "I can't wait!"

Rachel lowered her eyes for a minute "Um…I was actually gonna dress like Sandy did throughout the movie, not at the end."

"Oh. Oh, okay." Seeing that Rachel looked a little unsure Emily placed her hands on either side of her face and kissed her lightly "I think you will look adorable dressed as wholesome Sandy." She was grinning now and so was Rachel "I can see it now; you in a cute little dress, bobby sox and saddle shoes."

"You're sure?"

Emily chuckled "Honey, you would look cute no matter what you wore." They sat quietly for a minute before she spoke up again "So how am I dressing? I'm assuming jeans, t-shirt and jacket."

Rachel nodded "I thought you could wear those black jeans you bought a couple weeks ago when we were shopping, and you have both black and white t-shirts but I think the white would look better."

"And could I wear your black leather jacket?"

"I was counting on it." she said with a smile "The only thing I love more than wearing it is seeing you wear it."

Emily leaned back in for another kiss, her fingers going to the back of Rachel's neck and began running them through her hair. She loved how it had grown out since they first met. The kiss grew as she felt Rachel's hands squeezing again and her hips lifting up into hers. "You really like my ass don't you?"

"Mmm…" Rachel mumbled between kisses "I love every inch of this beautiful body."

Both were already flushed and their breathing had increased "So we gonna do it her on the couch or are we going to bed?" Emily asked.

"Well you are active, we'd have more room in bed." Rachel said with a coy smile.

"Hey!" Emily swat her playfully on the arm "It was one time! Besides, it was your fault."

"My fault?! You were the one on top."

"Yeah, but you were so good and those magic fingers of yours…I can't help that I briefly lost myself in the feeling."

Both were laughing almost hysterically "I thought you were going to break my fingers the way you twisted and fell in the floor. The look on your face though!"

Emily dropped her head onto Rachel's shoulder "My face? Yours was priceless!" when the laughter died down Emily pulled back and smiled "I do love you."

"And I love you." Rachel ground her hips upward again "So why don't we hit the bed before one of us gets hurt?"

Emily jumped up and headed toward the bedroom, leaving a trail of clothing behind her, and Rachel close on her heels.

Friday evening rolled around and both were excited at handing out candy for the first time. "You've never done this?" Emily asked as she sat a bowlful of candy on the table next to the door.

Rachel shrugged "I was usually working. How about you?"

"When I was a teen I did but this is the first time since. I lived in an apartment building and most went out. I usually kept a little bit on hand for a couple neighbors I knew who had small children though." They spent the next couple hours handing out candy and enjoying the costumes on the children who came to Rachel's door. Their favorite being fraternal twin girls who appeared to be about eight years old; the blonde girl wearing dress pants and shirt with a little blazer and carrying a small briefcase, her brunette sister dressed like a police officer. When Rachel asked what they were supposed to be the girls laughed and said a lawyer and a police officer. They said their Dad called them 'law and order' which made both women laugh.

When the last trick or treater left they quickly began getting ready for the party. Rachel was finishing the last touches on her makeup and could hear Emily moving about the bedroom, she couldn't wait to see her in her costume.

"I'm gonna run out and start the car."

"Okay, I'll be finished in just a minute." When Rachel stepped out of the bathroom she looked in the mirror one last time. She had just entered the room when Emily came in from outside. Both gasped at seeing one another in their outfit for the first time before breaking out in smiles. "Oh my….you look great!" Rachel said as she stepped closer to the brunette.

Emily took the black leather jacket off and draped it over her shoulder as she did a spin allowing Rachel to look at her. She had opted to keep her outfit a little more feminine by wearing black heels with a pair of tight black jeans, a white V-neck t-shirt which had the sleeves rolled up in the style from the late fifties/early sixties, and her hair in a high ponytail. "So you like it?" she said with a wink.

"You are hot!"

Emily looked Rachel over as she stepped closer "And you look great yourself. So cute!"

Rachel did a twirl causing her skirt to fly out a bit "You think?" she was wearing a pair of white canvas tennis shoes, white socks that were rolled down, a long blue skirt, and a white, short sleeve button down shirt.

"Oh I definitely think." She kissed her quickly.

As Rachel drove through the streets she noticed Emily kept staring at her. "What?"

"What?"

"You keep staring at me."

"I like staring at you."

"I know you're thinking. So spill."

Emily sighed "Okay. Is it wrong I keep thinking were like a couple of teenagers going out to a party?"

Rachel shook her head "No, I think it's kinda cute."

"Well, there's more to it." she looked over her shoulder to the backseat then back to Rachel, her look trying to convey what she was thinking.

"Are you serious?!" Rachel said as she realized what Emily meant "Are you thinking about us having sex in the backseat?"

Emily blushed slightly "I'm sorry, I can't help it. I just started thinking about how we're like a couple teens and then one thing lead to another and…."

Rachel squeezed her hand and laughed "Huh…it's something to think about I guess."

When they entered the gym both immediately felt like they had been transported back forty years to a high school dance. It was decorated in streamers and balloons while a DJ on the stage was blasting music from the sixties. "This is so great!" Rachel said in a raised voice.

"Look at you two!" the couple looked over when they heard Ina's voice coming over the music. "You're so cute!" she hugged both women before looking at their outfits. "So I feel like I know who you're dressed as but I can't put my finger on it."

Emily laughed "I'm Danny and she's Sandy."

"Grease!" she shouted cutting Emily off. "I love it!"

Rachel looked around and saw some were dressed like she and Emily while there were some dressed as hippies and others who were not dressed up at all. "I love your outfit." Rachel said. Her boss was dressed similar to how she was only she was wearing an actual poodle skirt. "Where's your husband?"

"Oh he's out there somewhere." She said with a wave of her hand. "He's hard to miss. He's wearing his letterman jacket from high school and bragging to everyone who'll listen that he's still able to wear it." she pointed to tables on the opposite side of the gym "There are plenty of refreshments over there." She nodded to the dance floor "I hope to see you two out there tonight."

After getting a drink they climbed a few rows into the bleachers and watched as many people danced. They talked with others, a couple Rachel knew from work and a few that Ina introduced them too. They loved the way people were dressed and listening to the old music. "So," Emily said as she leaned in close "You wanna dance?"

Rachel looked out at the dance floor "You want too?"

Emily smiled and took Rachel's hand in her own "I am not embarrassed of who I am and I most definitely am not embarrassed to be with you." then unsure "If you're uncomfortable though we don't have too."

Rachel stood and began pulling her girlfriend along "The one thing in this world, the only thing in this world, I am sure about is you."

The minute they hit the floor Emily took Rachel's hands in her own and pulled her to her. The song was one they had never heard but both liked it instantly for its fast tempo and how it made them want to dance. Emily took Rachel's right hand in her left and wrapped her arm around Rachel's waist while Rachel did the same to her. As the song was nearing its end Emily couldn't help herself as she pushed Rachel away from her sending her into a twirl then pulling her back. The blonde was laughing, a laugh Emily had fallen in love with almost immediately. Emily promised herself right then that she would do anything in her power to make sure Rachel smiled like that for the rest of her life.

"For those of you who have forgotten," the DJ said as the song ended "That was 'Keep on Dancing' by The Gentrys. And that's exactly what we're gonna do, keep on dancing!"

When the next song came on both flashed back to their childhood "Ferris Beuler's Day Off!" Rachel shouted as 'Twist and Shout' by The Beatles began blaring throughout the gym.

"Ooh, I love that movie! When he's dancing in the parade! Danke Schoen!"

The older couple next to them began laughing at the conversation. "That's a great song! Loved that way back when." The man said then shaking his head "And I just dated myself by admitting that."

Emily and Rachel couldn't remember the last time they danced the way they were. Even after two songs they were growing tired as well as a little warm from the exertion. "You want to get another drink?" Rachel asked. Emily nodded and they walked across the floor to the refreshment table, Emily opting for a Diet Dr. Pepper and Rachel a bottle of water. They were about to take a seat to rest when the DJ announced the next song, although it needed no introduction.

"Ladies and gentlemen, time to slow it down a bit." He said as the first notes of 'When a Man Loves a Woman' began playing.

Emily turned and held her hand out "May I have this dance?"

Rachel smiled as she took Emily's hand "This one and many, many more."

They walked out onto the floor and Emily pulled Rachel close. She took Rachel's right hand in her left and wrapped her arm around Rachel's waist as Rachel did the same, their joined hands resting between them. Rachel sighed as she melted into the brunette's arms, no one in her life had ever made feel the way Emily did. "Wonder how many are staring?" she whispered.

"Don't know, don't care." Emily replied. "As far as I'm concerned we're the only two people in the room."

They stayed a little while longer before deciding to leave. "So would you be up to going somewhere else before we go home?" Rachel asked.

"What did you have in mind?"

"You remember the club where we first started talking?"

"Hot Legs." Emily said with a roll of her eyes "Sometimes I still can't believe I went there."

"Same here, but I've been in worse." This earned a laugh from the brunette. "I saw they were having a costume party tonight and I think we could win."

"Let's do it."

"Okay, but before we go I need to fix my outfit a little bit." She said as she opened the passenger door for Emily. She then reached into the backseat "I'll be right back, I'm just gonna run back in to the restroom."

Ten minutes later Rachel climbed into the driver's seat "Let's roll."

Emily could tell something had changed about the blonde but she couldn't tell what it was. "You're up to something." Rachel just smiled. "You've put more makeup on." Emily said as she leaned in for a closer look.

Rachel parked the Jeep and told Emily to stay in the car until she came around. She knew she was going to freeze to death but when she opened the passenger side door she took her coat off and threw it at her girlfriend.

Emily pulled the coat down into her lap and gasped at the sight in front of her. Rachel had changed from her 'sweet and wholesome' Sandy costume to an 'end of the movie' Sandy outfit. "Rachel!" she said in a voice that was usually reserved for the bedroom.

Rachel was wearing skin tight black leather pants, a tight off the shoulder black top that showed off her cleavage and red heels. She had finished off the look by teasing her hair a bit, extra makeup and red lipstick. She put one hand on her hip and her index finger from her other on her lips, she did her best 'pin-up girl' pose and quoted her character "Tell me about it, stud."

Emily got out and looked her girlfriend over "Is it wrong that I want to say screw this party and head home?"

"Not at all." Rachel said as she burst into laughter. "But can we please either go inside or get back in? I'm gonna freeze."

The club was crowded, more crowded than either lady was comfortable with but they decided to stick it out for a little while. They arrived just before the contest was to be voted on. Everyone who was participating was asked to walk up and cross the stage while the DJ called out what they were dressed as. "Let's make a show baby." Rachel said as she took Emily's hand and pulled her onto the stage behind her.

"Okay ladies, let's hear it for Sandy and Danny from Grease!" the DJ called out.

Emily held their joined hands in the air while Rachel did a twirl for the crowd. She then looked the blonde over and smiled at the crowd, her look clearly saying 'yep, she's mine.'

They stood at the bar sipping a drink as they waited for the judges to make their decision. The runners up were a couple dressed as a naughty nurse and doctor. "And the winners of tonight's contest, Danny and Sandy!" Rachel nearly choked on her drink causing Emily to hit her on the back once or twice to make sure she was okay. They went up and collected their prize, a couple's massage at a local spa.

"I can't believe we won!" Rachel shouted over the music as they made their way back to the bar.

"I can. You are the hottest chick here!" she smiled as Rachel laughed at her choice of words.

They made a trip around the dance floor as the DJ played 'You're the One That I Want' in honor of their win. Emily was unable to decide where she wanted to focus her attention more, on Rachel's cleavage or how well her pants showed off her curves. "What are you thinking?" Rachel whispered when she saw the dazed look on the brunette's face.

Emily placed her lips close to Rachel's ear "I was thinking about what I would do to you if we weren't in public."

Rachel shivered at the implication. "Let me go to the restroom and we're out of here."

Once she was in the restroom Rachel realized she shouldn't have drank anything and hadn't taken going to the restroom into consideration when choosing the tight pants. She was washing her hands and checking her reflection in the mirror when she heard the door open. She gave the other woman a smile in the mirror.

"I really like your costume."

"Thank you." ever the cop she made sure she kept her eyes on her surroundings. The woman was about her size but slightly taller and had short auburn hair.

"So, I didn't catch your name." she smiled as she snuck a glance down the front of Rachel's shirt.

"You didn't catch it because I didn't give it to you." she was about to walk away when the woman stepped in front of her. "I'm warning you, you better get out of my way."

The woman didn't budge. "Is the skinny brunette with you?" she smirked when Rachel flinched "She couldn't be that good could she?" then stepping a little closer "You should come home with me, I could do things to you she couldn't even imagine."

"You better back the hell up!"

Both Rachel and the woman looked around when they heard Emily's voice. Rachel had seen the brunette upset but she had never seen her this mad. Her face was red but it was as if the temperature of the room had suddenly dropped. She was expecting at any moment for daggers of ice to come flying from the brunette's eyes.

Emily stepped closer "She belongs to me. So back up."

The woman had flinched once or twice by now but was doing her best not to show it "Oh yeah, what are you gonna do about it?"

Emily was standing toe to toe with her now "Try me and see. They'll take you out of here on a stretcher."

Rachel was almost too stunned to move. She had never seen this side of her girlfriend and was a little surprised she had it in her. She sidestepped the woman and took Emily's hand, feeling how tense the brunette was "Come on Emily, let's go." When Emily didn't move she gently pulled on her hand coaxing her out of the restroom "Come on baby."

Once outside and in the cold night air Emily seemed to snap out of her anger "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For acting that way. I don't know what came over me. I just heard her talking to you that way and I lost it." she shook her head as she climbed into the car. She reached across the console and squeezed Rachel's hand "I'm also sorry I said you belonged to me."

Rachel made a face "Huh?"

"You're not property, you're a person and I shouldn't have acted like you were."

Rachel grinned as she put her free hand on top of Emily's "Normally I would agree with you but I kinda like belonging to someone. I've never really belonged before." now she was leaning over, her lips dangerously close to the brunette's "In fact, your little show was quite the turn on."

"Oh really?" Emily asked in a whisper. Rachel nodded "Well I've been turned on ever since I saw you in that outfit….and I'm about to explode."

The drive back to Rachel's was quick with the lack of traffic seeing as it was almost midnight. Their hands had been roaming over one another the entire drive, Rachel's hand stroking Emily's thigh while Emily ran her fingertips along Rachel's neck and shoulders. When Rachel turned onto her street she groaned when she felt Emily's lips on her neck "I'm driving."

"I know, but I trust you and know you won't wreck us." she had taken her seatbelt off and leaned over, her left hand still tracing patterns on the blonde's neck while her right was slowly working up her inner thigh.

Rachel turned into her driveway, turning the headlights off and unbuckling her seat belt she then pulled Emily in for a passionate kiss, slipping her tongue into the brunette's mouth and causing her to moan. "Forget it, I can't wait." She said as she began maneuvering into the backseat.

Emily's jaw dropped "What…what are you doing?"

Rachel leaned forward "Weren't you the one thinking about having sex in the backseat earlier?" Emily nodded "Well I said it was something to think about, and I'm so turned on right now I really don't want to wait till we get inside." She reached her hand up and placed it between Emily's legs "And I have a feeling you're just as turned on as I am."

Emily immediately made her way to the backseat. There was fumbling and laughter as she did so, her tall stature making it a little more difficult. Once settled their lips found one another as their hands roamed one another's bodies. Figuring out Rachel's pants was more of a problem than anticipated but they finally got them undone "I should've thought of them before I climbed back here." Rachel panted.

"As long as I can get my hand in we're good." Emily said as she lay the blonde back. A whimper escaped her lips when she felt Rachel unbuttoning her own pants. She froze however when she looked up and noticed a light on in a house down the street. "What if someone sees us?"

Rachel stopped, one hand teasing the waistband of Emily's panties while the other was inside the brunette's bra squeezing her breast. "It's after midnight most of them are in bed. This is one of the quietest streets in America no one will see us." when she didn't receive a response she slipped her hand into Emily's panties and went back to teasing her breast "I think we're back here for a reason."

Emily's head dropped forward as she sighed "I can't believe we're about to do this. I haven't done this since I was seventeen."

Rachel chuckled "I've got you beat, sixteen."

They had resumed kissing when Emily stopped "Wait!" she leaned back to the front and tuned the radio to a station that played music from the eighties. "Need some music to set the mood." She took one last glance out the windows "I hope no one sees this Jeep rockin and wonders what's going on."

Rachel laughed as Emily began kissing her neck and chest "Well as energetic as you get, especially when you're on top, I wouldn't be surprised if it did."

Emily pressed a kiss to her lips as her fingers slipped between Rachel's legs causing the blonde's hips to raise and a whimper to escape her lips "How about a little less talk and a lot more action?"

"You got it." Rachel said as she slipped two fingers inside her girlfriend.

Twenty minutes later the couple laughingly stumbled into Rachel's house. They turned and looked back at the driveway and burst into laughter again, the fogged up windows of Rachel's Jeep a billboard as to what had just occurred. "My car is gonna smell like sex for days."

Emily already stripping as she made her way through the house and was naked before reaching the bedroom "Yeah but, it was worth it."

Rachel quickly undressed and pushed her girlfriend on the bed and climbed on top of her "Next time it's your backseat." She whispered before slowly working her way down the brunette's body.

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**A/N:I love Grease so of course that is where the idea for their costumes came from. The music however came from watching a program on tv one night about party songs from the fifties and sixties. If you have never heard those songs I encourage you to give them a listen. The first song they dance to when I heard it I couldn't get the image of them dancing to it out of my head.**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: So sorry for the delay. Sometimes things just have a habit of getting in the way. Thank you all for your continued support. I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter, I hope it was as fun to read as it was to write. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 19

It was a cold December evening as Emily walked down the stairs of her home. She and Rachel were going out to celebrate their first anniversary. They had decided to get dressed in their own homes as a way to surprise one another with their outfits. She looked around her living room and smiled at the few Christmas decorations she had sat out. It was the first time she had decorated since she was a child. With a career in the DA's office she was never home long enough to decorate let alone enjoy it. Hearing Rachel's key in the door she turned and smiled.

"Hey…" Rachel forgot what she was saying when she turned and saw the brunette. Emily was wearing a blue long sleeve, scoop back dress that fell just above her knees. Her hair was down and curled lightly while she wore minimal makeup. "Wow! You look…wow!"

Emily chuckled as she stepped closer "One of the many things I love about you, your command of the English language." She gave the blonde a quick kiss before looking down at her coat "Are you gonna take that off so I can see what you're wearing?"

Rachel grinned as she began to undo her coat "Might not be anything."

"And that would be just fine with me!" when she looked at the blonde's outfit it was Emily's turn to be surprised "You look amazing!"

Rachel smiled as she did a quick twirl. Knowing how much Emily loved her in a simple black dress she had chosen her best fitting little black dress.

"Not that I'm complaining but aren't you gonna get cold in a sleeveless dress?" Emily asked as she stepped close and wrapped an arm around Rachel's waist while she lightly ran her free hand through Rachel's hair.

Rachel closed her eyes and sighed as she leaned in for a kiss "Nope, I'm burning up already."

They chose to return to Nola, the same restaurant where they had their first date. Gone were the nerves that come along with a first date, they had now been replaced with the comfort that came from being with someone you love.

After their dinner they walked out into the cold night air, a light snow had begun to fall while they were inside. They walked hand in hand to the car while Emily clutched a bag of beniets. Both had fallen in love with the sweet treat on their first date and after ordering some fore dessert decided to get another order to go for breakfast the next morning.

"Well," Rachel asked as they waited for the car to warm up "Your place or mine?"

Emily looked to her left feigning shock "Aren't we being awfully presumptive. What makes you think you'll get anywhere with me tonight?"

Rachel laughed as she took the brunette's hand "Sweetheart I know you. I know that because you've had a couple glasses of wine and I know that makes you quite…how do I say it?" then grinning "_Playful_."

Emily leaned across the console, her breath tickling Rachel's cheek "It's not so much the wine as the beautiful woman I'm in love with."

They settled on returning to Emily's house for the night. After going inside and changing Emily turned the lights off and turned on the few Christmas lights that she had decorated the room with while Rachel lit a few candles. They settled onto the sofa and wrapped a blanket around them, classic Christmas music coming from the radio. "This is so nice." Emily sighed as she ran her fingers through Rachel's hair.

Rachel smiled at the feeling of Emily's chest gently rising and falling under her head. "It is." She was quiet for a minute "You know you're the longest relationship I've ever had."

Emily nodded "You're the longest relationship I've ever had too."

"So, Ina invited us to join them for Christmas Eve dinner again this year. Do you want to go?"

Emily chuckled "It's still a couple weeks away and she's already invited us?"

"Well," Rachel said while struggling to hide her grin "She said after seeing the way you eat she wants to plan ahead so there's enough food."

"Hey!" Emily said while smacking the blonde's hip causing Rachel to laugh "Like you have room to talk when it comes to putting away food." She waited for their laughter to die down "I'd love to go. So which house are we spending Christmas at?"

"As long as we're together it doesn't matter. Where do you want to spend it?"

Emily thought for a moment "We spent it at yours last year so I'd kinda like to do it at yours again for sentimental reasons. Plus, you've got more decorations and a tree would look great in your picture window that looks out to the street."

"My house it is." She was quiet for a moment before raising her head up to look at the brunette "This my house your house thing."

Emily took a slow breath, unsure where this was going. "Yeah."

"How about we start looking at making it our house?"

A small smile began to spread across Emily's face "You mean move in together?"

Rachel was a little nervous but she hoped the smile on Emily's face was a good sign. "I do. I've just been thinking about it lately, especially after our conversation a couple months ago. We both agreed that this was permanent for us, that we're committed to one another." Now that she was saying it she couldn't stop herself "I love you Emily, more than I can ever say, you're my partner and I want us to be together. I want us to go to bed and wake up together every day. I don't care where we live as long as we're together. My lease is up at the end of January, yours at the end of February. That still gives us about six weeks to think about it, figure it out. I don't care if it's here, my house or we find a place of our own. I just want to be with you."

Emily leaned in for a kiss "I just want to be with you too. I like the idea of choosing one of our homes instead of looking for a new one though." Another kiss. "Like you said we still have time to discuss it." she slid her hand under Rachel's shirt "Now why don't we go upstairs? Like you I can't really explain how much I love you but I can certainly show you."

Emily shed the last of her clothing and slid to the center of the bed. She smiled as she watched Rachel take off her clothes, making sure to take her time and tease her as she did so. Emily held her hand out "Get your sexy self over here now."

Rachel straddled Emily's lap and sat down on her legs while wrapping her legs around Emily's body. "I love you." she said before pressing their lips together. The kiss was slow yet passionate and seemed to go on forever. Rachel was sure she was going to run out of air when she felt Emily's lips begin working their way down her neck and slowly across her chest.

"Mmm," Emily moaned as she continued her kisses "I love this position. It gives me perfect access to these." She said before swirling her tongue around a hardened nipple then wrapping her lips around it.

Rachel moaned loudly and threw her head back while tangling her fingers in Emily's hair and holding her head in place. "Oh baby…so good!"

Emily kept a slow, steady pace on Rachel's right breast before finally moving to her left. "I could do this all day." she mumbled around a full breast.

"And I could let you do this all day." Rachel whispered as she dropped her head against Emily's. It had never happened before but she was pretty sure if Emily kept it up she would climax simply from Emily kissing and sucking on her breasts. The thought barely left her mind before she felt a small, yet nonetheless pleasing orgasm take over.

Emily looked up into darkened eyes "Did you just?"

Rachel laughed at the look of surprise in the blue eyes she loved so much "Yeah…and it's the first time it's ever happened like this."

Emily grinned, actually more of a smirk "Damn I'm good!"

"That you are!" Rachel said as she pushed the brunette back and laid down on top of her, smiling when Emily spread her legs.

Emily sighed and closed her eyes as Rachel slowly began working her way down her body, spreading her legs further to give her easier access. She felt Rachel pull away from her body and she shivered in anticipation of what was to come. "Don't you dare tease me!" expecting to feel her girlfriend's lips or fingers her eyes flew open when she felt a different sensation. Rachel was supporting herself on her arms as she slowly ran her breast the length of Emily's slit and around her clit. "Oh. My. God." She moaned "What are you doing?"

Rachel chuckled, her voice slightly lower than usual. "You love my tits as you like to say. I just thought maybe you'd like 'em this way." she pushed her breast against Emily's center before sliding up, rubbing her nipple against Emily's clit.

"I love 'em any way I can get 'em!" Emily said as she bunched the sheet in her left hand while her right tangled in her hair. Her hips began to move with Rachel while her breathing grew more rapid.

Rachel grinned as she watched the sight in front of her. Feeling the tremble in Emily's legs she knew the brunette wouldn't last much longer "You better open your eyes. I don't know when you'll get another show like this." When Emily opened her eyes Rachel made sure she held her gaze before pushing her breast into Emily's opening then rubbing her clit with her nipple as quickly as she could. She kept up her movements for a moment as she watched Emily's body fall over the edge. When the brunette began to come down Rachel leaned in for a kiss, both laughing at the turn their evening had taken from the quiet, relaxing evening they had been having.

After laying quietly for a while and allowing their bodies to recover Emily rolled onto her side "I have a question and if it's too personal or you don't want to answer just say so."

"Okay." Rachel said as she wondered what was coming.

"I can't believe I'm about to say this." Emily blew out a nervous breath "Have you ever used a strap on?" Rachel's mouth opened and closed a couple times "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I know it's personal. I shouldn't have asked."

Rachel kissed Emily's forehead. "We've agreed to discuss moving in together, we are currently lying in bed naked…I don't think anything is too personal." She smiled when Emily laughed and seemed to relax. "Yes I have used one. Have you?"

"Well I've been on the receiving end."

"But?"

"But I've always wanted to try and use one with someone. I was with a woman who wanted to use one on me but never the other way around. I tried mentioning it to her once but she just laughed and thought I was joking so that's what I let her think."

"So…you want to use one on me?"

Emily blushed slightly "Yeah, but only if you're okay with it."

Rachel nodded "I am. To be honest my experience is the opposite of yours. I was with a woman who wanted me to use one on her but never the other way around. We only did it the one time, I just wasn't very comfortable." _'I was scared I'd turn into my father.' _She thought to herself.

"So you would like for me to use one on you?"

"I think it would be fun." Seeing the sneaky look in Emily's eyes she started laughing "You've already bought one, haven't you?"

Emily nodded before going to the closet and returning with an item in her hand. "I found a store on the other side of Madison and I went there last week when you had your dentist appointment."

"You actually walked into a sex toy shop?!"

Emily blushed brighter now "It's a lingerie shop that also happens to sell toys that cater to women." She took a deep breath to calm down "The woman working was very nice and I told her I'd never done this before. She said that this would be good for a beginner." She set the item on the bed and shakily took Rachel's hand "I need to know you're okay with this. At any point if you want to stop just tell me. I won't get upset."

Rachel squeezed Emily's hand "You're shaking. Are you sure you're okay with this?"

Emily laughed nervously "I'm just nervous. I'm afraid that you won't like it or that I'll hurt you."

Rachel pulled her down for a kiss "I promise you, if I don't like it or if by some chance it hurts I'll tell you."

Emily slipped the item on and secured the straps in place. She took a moment to look down and started to laugh. "I look ridiculous!"

"You look…different, that's for sure." She placed her hands on Emily's hips "This one looks more comfortable than the one she had me use." She ran her fingers over the material "Black and red huh?"

Emily grinned "You've always said you like how I look in red."

Rachel slid back on the bed and pulled Emily over her. She waited until the brunette was settled between her legs and rose up for a kiss. They took their time, feeling more like a couple teenagers making out than an adult couple in a committed relationship. After some time Emily rose up and looked into the blonde's eyes "Are you sure?"

Rachel nodded "Are you?"

"Yes." She looked down and took the toy in her hand and guided it to Rachel's opening. She kept her eyes on the older woman's face for any sign of pain or a change of mind. She took her time but once she had slid in as far as she could she sighed "Are you okay?"

Rachel nodded as she adjusted to the feeling. "Just give me a second to adjust." After a minute or two she slid her hand down and squeezed Emily's hip "I'm ready."

It was awkward at first, both laughing at times as Emily tried to get comfortable and find a rhythm. "I'm sorry, I'm trying." She said as she continued to gently thrust her hips.

"Hey, I think you're doing fine." Rachel said as she met the brunette thrust for thrust, leaning up for a kiss. "Harder, please." seeing the question in Emily's eyes she smiled "I'm not gonna break, I promise."

Emily began pushing harder, feeling a change as the toy began rubbing against her. "Wrap your legs around me." she gasped when Rachel did so and cried out as the toy slipped in a little further "Are you okay?!"

Rachel smiled, her voice a little deeper now "I'm good, you're good…this is good."

Emily took the encouragement and sped up her thrusts as she leaned down for a kiss, their tongues dueling for control, the feeling of their sweat slick bodies sliding against one another. The only sounds in the room were their moans and gasps for air. Emily was about to raise up when she rotated her hips.

"Oh God!"

"What?"

"That's it!" Rachel said with a smile as she pushed her head further down into the pillow "Right there, that's it!" Emily smiled and continued to rotate her hips, slowly a time or two then a little faster. "Don't stop. Please don't stop!"

Emily was doing her best to keep up. She could feel her body ready to fall over the edge but she wanted Rachel with her. Her arms felt as if they were about to give out so she lowered herself so their bodies were pressed together, supporting herself on her forearms. She alternated between thrusts and rotating her hips, her arms nearly giving out when she felt one of Rachel's hands on her breasts.

"I'm…so…close." Rachel said in between gasps for air.

"I'm right with you." she felt Rachel's other hand tangling in her air.

Rachel took ragged breath, she couldn't believe she was feeling the things she was "I'm gonna come."

"Look at me baby." seeing brown eyes looking back at her "I love you."

"I love…" Rachel's words died on her tongue as her orgasm overtook her. Her back arched up and she was vaguely aware of Emily's breasts moving against her own.

Emily tried to support her weight but the orgasm coursing through her body caused her arms to give out. She lay with her head against Rachel's neck and kissing it lightly a few times while listening to  
Rachel's attempts to get her breathing under control. She was surprised though when she felt the blonde begin to laugh. She pulled back and had to smile at the look on her lover's face. "What?"

"That was…" Rachel trailed off as she looked Emily in the eye "That was so good." Then a passionate kiss "You are awesome!"

Emily laughed "I aim to please."

After removing the toy and taking a moment to clean up Emily climbed back into bed and they lay facing one another, their joined hands resting between them. "So, was it what you thought it'd be?" Rachel asked.

Emily tilted her head a bit "While I prefer the feeling of just us I will admit it was fun."

Rachel could see the same question in Emily's eyes "I enjoyed it, but I guess you already knew that." both laughed lightly "I'm with you, I don't think anything can beat the way you feel but if you're up to it I think it's something I would like to do again sometime."

They lay quietly for a while, both feeling their bodies relax and sleep starting to come over them. "So I have a surprise for you." Rachel said sleepily from her place beside the brunette, her arm resting over Emily's hip.

Emily raised her head up a bit and grinned "Do tell."

"I have a little getaway planned for us over New Year's." seeing excitement and confusion on her partner's face she clarified "Don't worry I've already talked to Janet and she assured me you can be off, and no she doesn't know where we're going."

"Do you plan on telling me where we're going?" she asked as the excitement grew.

"We'll be gone for a whole week." Rachel said nonchalantly as she drew out the anticipation.

"Come on Rachel, tell me!" she whined.

Rachel shrugged as she prepared for the reaction that was coming "New Orleans."

"Shut up!" Emily said as she pushed Rachel's shoulder causing the blonde to laugh. "Seriously? We're going to New Orleans for a whole week!"

"We fly down on the twenty-ninth and will be there for a week. We're not in the French Quarter but we're very close. I tried to get us a room there but they were all booked. The hotel we're in is less than two blocks from the French Quarter though."

"I mentioned once that I'd always wanted to visit New Orleans and you remembered." She said almost in awe. No one she'd ever dated had paid attention to her like Rachel did.

Rachel shrugged "I want to remember everything about you."

Emily placed her hand on Rachel's cheek and leaned in for a kiss "You're so amazing. I don't know what I did to get so lucky."

"I think I'm the lucky one." Rachel said sincerely.

Emily shook her head, there were tears in her eyes and she couldn't hide the emotion in her voice "I love you, so much." Her voice barely above a whisper.

"I love you too." Rachel snuggled further under the covers, chuckling when she heard Emily groan "You okay?"

"I have a feeling I won't be walking too well tomorrow." She felt Rachel's hand slide from her hip to her low back and begin lightly massaging it. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it. Besides, I have a feeling I'm gonna be pretty sore tomorrow as well." her voice now barely a whisper as she was drifting off. "It was so worth it though."

Emily smiled sleepily at the woman sleeping next to her, still aware of Rachel's hand lightly making circles on her back. She snuggled further under the covers and whispered "Love you."

It was barely a mumble but enough for the brunette to hear "Emily."


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Well here we are, twenty chapters and nearly two hundred reviews later. I, we, cannot thank you enough. Little Miss Nicap &amp; myself are so glad that you are enjoying it. Thank you for your reviews of the last chapter. I will do my best to update again soon but sometimes it doesn't quite work that way. Thank you for your continued support. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 20

When Emily parked her car in Ina's driveway on Christmas Eve she remembered how nervous she was the year before when she was here for dinner. Now she felt at home with the older woman and her family. She and Rachel had been to many cookouts and dinners here over the last year and now they felt like they were part of the family.

After a round of hugs and greetings Emily smiled when they walked into the living room and saw Ina's infant granddaughter sitting in her swing. After getting an okay from the baby's mother she walked over and picked the infant up "Hello Olivia!" she cuddled the smiling infant for a moment before turning and smiling at Rachel.

Rachel smiled, whether it was from hearing the brunette say 'Olivia' or from the look on her face she wasn't sure, all she knew was her heart was melting at the sight in front of her. She walked over and smiled at the infant "Hi Olivia." the grinning at the bright smile she received in return "Aren't you a happy baby."

After visiting for a few minutes everyone sat down for dinner. This year instead of just being Ina's family and Rachel and Emily they were joined by a young man named David whom Ina had gotten to know through her volunteer work. David wasn't new to the area but had moved back after college. Even though he had grown up in the Madison area he was not close to his family and when Ina found that out she insisted he join them for dinner. Just like she had with Rachel on Thanksgiving the year before she couldn't stand the thought of someone being alone on a holiday.

While Ina's husband carved the ham everyone else began passing plates and bowls around filling their plates. "Everything looks so delicious. I can't remember the last time I saw this much food." Emily said as Rachel passed a roll to her.

"Well, like I said, she knew you were coming and wanted to make sure there was enough food." Rachel said in a stage whisper. "Ow!" Rachel said as she rubbed her thigh from the punch she'd just received from the brunette. She had found out, the hard way no less, that Emily had a pretty decent punch. Emily would make a fist and push her middle finger knuckle out further then hit the blonde on the leg. The same way Rachel would poke Emily in the ribs or pinch her on the waist when she made similar remarks. It was done all in fun and they tried not to hurt one another…at least not too badly.

Everyone at the table laughed while Ina shook her head "See what you get?" she then looked to the brunette "Emily, honey, there is more than enough for everyone plus enough for leftovers. So eat as much as you'd like."

By the time the meal was finished everyone was in misery. They moved to the living room where they were now sipping hot chocolate and listening to classic Christmas music. "Now remember, I still have dessert in there. We have pies and Rachel's famous cookies." As full as everyone was there was suddenly an interest in dessert and mumbles of 'I could go for something sweet.'

After she finished her dessert Emily offered to give baby Olivia her bottle. She was half listening to the conversation that was going when she became aware that she was being watched. "What?" she asked as she looked to Rachel on her right.

Rachel placed her arm around Emily's shoulders as she looked at the infant then back to her partner "You just look so natural doing that."

Emily grinned "I don't really have much experience with babies but she's just so sweet."

"You're a natural." Ina said as she snapped a quick photo of the couple and her granddaughter. Then a slight grin and raising of her eyebrows "Does it give you any ideas? Hint, hint."

"Ina." Her husband said in a bit of a warning. He looked at the couple "In case you haven't figured it out by now she sometimes likes to put her nose where it doesn't belong."

Rachel laughed and shook her head "Hint taken but I think it's still too soon for that." she looked at Emily and received a nod to her silent question. "We do have some news though. We are moving in together."

"Well it's about time!" Ina said while everyone else smiled and wished them well. "You've been going back and forth between homes for ages, it's about time you quit playing musical houses. Where are you going to live?"

"We haven't decided yet." Emily said as she handed Rachel the bottle and lifted the infant to her shoulder to be burped. "It'll be one of our homes we just haven't decided yet."

They stayed for a little longer before saying their goodbyes for the evening. Even though they were fixing their own dinner the next day they walked out of the house with plenty of leftovers.

"Dear God!" Rachel said as she stepped out into the bone chilling wind. They raced to Emily's car that the brunette had started earlier so it would warm up.

"It feels so good in here." Emily said as she continued to shiver from the cold air. "It should be illegal to be this cold." They were in the middle of a cold snap and the air was brutally cold.

"Well I think we should go home and curl up under a blanket and watch a movie."

"I think that sounds perfect."

When they pulled into the driveway Rachel had to smile at the sight of her home decorated for Christmas. She had put a few lights up outside and Emily had urged her to put them on a timer so they were on when they arrived that evening. The brightly lit Christmas tree in the picture window however was her favorite. She hadn't had Christmas decorations since she was a child and even then the decorations were sparse. This was the life she had always imagined and wanted, it just wasn't the way she imagined she would have it. Feeling the warm hand reach over and take hers and looking to her left to see Emily smiling back at her she knew this was the way it was supposed to be.

Late that night they sat curled up on the couch under a blanket, the only light in the room coming from the tree. "I was starting to think I was gonna have to search you when we left to make sure you didn't steal the baby." Rachel chuckled.

Emily grinned from where her head was resting Rachel's chest "I can't help it, Olivia is just so sweet."

Rachel sighed but it was no longer a sigh of sadness at hearing her real name from the brunette. Now when she heard her say 'Olivia' it was more of a feeling of comfort, now it made her smile.

"So…" Emily paused as she tried to figure out what she wanted to say "I wanted to ask you something."

Rachel pulled back slightly so she could look the younger woman in the eye "Okay."

"It's not something we've discussed yet and I feel like with the commitment we've made we need to." She watched as Rachel nodded again "How do you feel about children?" seeing the confused and slightly amused look she was receiving she clarified "Well I know you like them and you are great with them but I meant in the sense of having your own. Is having a family something you want?"

Rachel was quiet as she thought about her answer. She didn't know where Emily stood and she was afraid her answer could put a wrinkle in their relationship. She suddenly wondered why the topic of children hadn't come up sooner. Feeling the change in her girlfriend at her delayed response she blew out a breath and decided the truth was the best answer. "Honestly, as long as I have you I have a family. I've always wanted to have a child of my own but I never thought it would happen. I've just never been with anyone I'd want to have a child with, until now." She held her breath as she waited for Emily's answer.

"I'll be honest I've never given much thought to having kids. Before I moved here my dating was sporadic, which you already know. I was focused on my career and climbing the corporate ladder, having kids was the last thing on my mind. Now that I'm with you though I can see it. I watch you with the kids at work and you're such a natural with them. I've imagined what it would be like to see you chasing after a little boy with beautiful brown eyes, or a little girl with blue eyes." Seeing Rachel smile it made her continue "Tonight when we were sitting with the baby it made me wonder what it would be like to be sitting curled up with our own. I know this is a lot to spring on you at once but I felt we needed to talk about it."

Rachel ran her fingers through Emily's hair "I'm glad you brought it up. While I think it's still a little early to be making any major decisions I do think it's a discussion we needed to have, and continue to have."

Emily sat up "I didn't mean we have to do it now or start looking at options now, I just meant we needed to discuss it. I think it's still too soon as well but it is something I hope we can continue to talk about."

Rachel grinned "I want to continue to talk about it but first I think we need to decide where we're gonna live. We've only got about a month until my lease is up."

"I've been thinking about that." Emily said as she looked around the dimly lit room "I love it here. I mean I love my home but there's just something about yours." Then a smile with a few tears in her eyes "The first time you said you loved me was here, that makes it extra special."

"True, but the first time we made love was at your house so that makes it special as well."

"It sounds like we still have some thinking to do." Emily laughed.

"I guess we do." Rachel said as she yawned. "Right now though I'm getting very sleepy and going to bed is the only thing I'm thinking about."

A quick kiss to the blonde's lips "I couldn't agree more."

The next morning Rachel slowly opened her eyes and realized it was just before sunrise, her internal alarm clock telling her it was time to wake up. Knowing that she didn't have to get up she rolled onto her side and snuggled further under the covers. She smiled as she saw Emily sprawled out next to her, or as well as she could sprawl out and still be under the covers. Never did she imagine this would be her life. The year before she was just happy to be sharing Christmas Day with someone she cared about, it didn't compare to waking up on Christmas morning with someone she loved. Feeling her eyelids becoming heavy again she snuggled closer to Emily and draped her arm across the younger woman's stomach. She was drifting off when she heard a small snore escape Emily's lips. A barely audible chuckle was heard as Rachel drifted back to sleep.

It was just after eight when Rachel woke again. She glanced at the window and through the tiny gap in the curtains she was able to see it was snowing, another white Christmas. She watched Emily for a minute as she began to wake up then leaned in and placed a kiss on her cheek "Merry Christmas."

Emily sighed before opening her eyes, a small smile forming on her lips "Merry Christmas baby." she now turned her head and their lips met in gentle good morning kiss.

"So we gonna lay here all day or what?" Rachel asked while on the small radio on the bedside table Bing Crosby sang about dreaming of a white Christmas.

Emily grinned "While I love the idea of laying here where it's warm with you all day my stomach is telling me we should make our way to the kitchen." A growl from her stomach at that exact moment caused them both to laugh.

They stood and pulled on sweatshirts to ward off the morning chill, Rachel turning up the thermostat on her way to the kitchen. "It's only twenty degrees out there." she said as she pointed out the window to the thermometer that hung on the patio out back.

"Yeah but just remember, in a few days we'll be in New Orleans where it'll be nice and warm. So warm we'll probably be able to go with jackets." Then a little squeal "I can't wait!"

They heated leftover rolls and ham from the night before for breakfast before opening their gifts. While Emily fixed them each a cup of hot chocolate Rachel went ahead to the living room and plugged up the lights on the tree and turned some music on. When Emily entered her heart melted at the sight of the blonde sitting in the floor in front of the tree, a bright smile on her face, Sinatra's 'Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas' playing in the background. "You look like a kid on Christmas morning, all smiles and excited."

Rachel smiled as she accepted her mug of hot chocolate "It's because I am! I've never had a Christmas like this." then remembering that Rachel's childhood was slightly better than Olivia's she clarified "What I mean is it's the first time I've had Christmas with someone I was in love with, someone I want to spend my life with."

"The things you say." Emily said as she leaned in for a kiss then placing her hand over her own heart "They always get me right here."

They looked at one another for a moment before Rachel began smiling "Can we open the gifts now?" Emily simply laughed while nodding her head.

They had said nothing extravagant, no going overboard, and while they had seemingly adhered to the rules it did look like there were quite a few gifts under the tree. After finding out about their trip for New Year's Emily had tried to convince Rachel to let her pay for half their room but the blonde wouldn't hear of it. She thought her courtroom skills were slipping until Rachel finally accepted her terms that she would be paying for meals and other expenses. Of course the techniques she used wouldn't be acceptable in the courtroom, bringing Rachel to the edge of climax and then telling her she wouldn't get her off until she agreed to let her pay for some things. The blonde told her she played dirty but quickly agreed.

They tore into their gifts, taking time to ooh and ah over them before moving on to the next. A beige sweater for Rachel, a blue cashmere one for Emily. A couple books for each and a gift certificate for Emily to their favorite bookstore. Half an hour later only two small boxes remained under the tree. Emily opened hers slowly and smiled at the sight of the silver band with an eternity knot engraved around it. "Rachel, this is…its beautiful!" then looking at her a little unsure.

Rachel chuckled "Don't freak out it's not that kind of ring…at least not yet." When she saw Emily visibly relax she squeezed her hand "I just saw it and thought of you, of us. I mean we did promise forever didn't we?"

"That we did." Emily said as she slipped it on her finger. "Now your turn."

Rachel ripped into her gift and gasped at the sight of the silver band. She pulled it out of the box and examined it closer, the words 'my love is unending' etched around it. "Oh Emily, I love it." she looked a little closer when she could see something engraved on the inside. She looked at the date for a moment then into Emily's expectant eyes. She thought for a moment, tears formed in her eyes as realization dawned on her "Is that?"

Emily nodded "The day we said 'I love you' for the first time." While it was also the date that her mother passed away that day would always hold a special place in her heart because it was the first time someone other than her parents had said it to her and she truly believed them. It was also the first time she had said and meant it with all her heart.

"I love you so much." Rachel said as she leaned forward and quickly pressed their lips together.

The rest of the day was quiet. They fixed lunch and were surprised at how their cooking skills had improved from the year before. Everything was homemade, no more instant mashed potatoes or gravy from a jar. "I'm impressed!" Emily said as she scooped some homemade cranberry sauce onto her plate.

Rachel grinned "Watch out Food Network, here we come!"

Later that evening both were sprawled out on the couch. After lunch they had passed out in a food coma but had decided to heat up a few leftovers for dinner, they were now miserable. "Okay, New Year's resolution now." Emily groaned as she tilted her head toward Rachel "As soon as we're back from New Orleans I'm hitting the gym, hard."

"I'll be right beside you." Rachel said as she rubbed her stomach "I can only imagine how much weight I've gained over the last month. All the homemade cookies, candies and treats I've had….my ass is so fat."

Emily leaned over from where she was resting at the opposite end of the couch and kissed the blonde quickly "Your ass isn't fat, it's perfect."

They had spent the afternoon and early evening watching Christmas parades and movies and were now settling in to watch A Christmas Carol, even though they had watched it at least once a week for the last month. Emily reached onto the back of the couch and pulled the blanket down, draping it over their legs and abdomens. They faced one another from their ends of the couch, both smiling at each other. They were quiet as the movie began but Emily finally spoke up "Today was…today was just the best."

Rachel nodded "It was. I thought last year was the best Christmas ever but this year definitely tops it." they grew quiet again for a minute "So a few more days and we'll be relaxing in the Big Easy."

Emily's face lit up "I can't wait!"


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: So sorry for the delay. I hope you are still interested. I have wanted to update before now but everything I wrote felt forced, so I wrote a little at a time until I had the right feeling for it again. Like I've said before I will not abandon a story. Trust me, I want to write this as much as you (I hope) want to read it. I did some research on New Orleans and included places that I would like to visit, not to mention the food. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 21

Emily stirred slightly then looked around for a moment as she tried to figure out where she was. She sighed when she saw Rachel next to her and remembered they were on a plane. "Sorry I feel asleep." She mumbled as she sat up and stretched.

"It's okay."

Emily looked at the blonde who was staring out the window. "You okay?" Rachel simply nodded. Emily looked at her watch then back to her girlfriend "Shouldn't we have landed by now?"

Rachel turned to face her "There's a delay on the ground so we're just circling right now. Shouldn't be much longer." She pointed to the window and smiled when Emily leaned over her "You can see out over the Gulf of Mexico."

Emily smiled "It's beautiful. I don't remember the last time I saw the ocean."

Rachel bit back a few tears as she remembered looking out at the ocean the day she left LA. The feel of Emily's hand slipping into hers instantly calmed her though. "Me either."

"Maybe we can save up our money and take a trip to a beach this summer." Now smiling "You, me, the sand and a couple drinks in our hand."

Rachel began laughing "You're rhyming. Are you about to break out into a Jimmy Buffet song?"

"Nope." She leaned in, her lips close to Rachel's ear "Based on how excited you got the last time I sang in public I don't think it would be such a good idea. Especially since we're stuck on a plane."

After finally landing and making it through baggage claim they arrived at their hotel. They were in the French Quarter but Rachel had hoped to get them a room on the famed Bourbon Street. Emily pointed out that she was more than happy with their hotel and they were only two blocks away from Bourbon, plus she was looking forward to just wandering around the area.

"So what are we gonna do first?" Emily asked while unpacking.

"What do you think of just going for a walk and doing a little sightseeing?"

They walked through the streets, Rachel's right arm looped around Emily's left. They took their time wandering in and out of art galleries and shops, enjoying being able to take their time and just be together. On their way back to the hotel they stopped in the historical Jackson Square. "It's so beautiful." Emily said as she turned to the blonde.

Rachel smiled at the woman in front of her, Emily was looking back over her shoulder and grinning while biting the tip of her tongue. The brunette was wearing a pair of dark jeans with a beige sleeveless button down shirt and sunglasses "You are so beautiful."

"What a coincidence," Emily said as she stepped closer "I was just thinking the same thing about you." she took the camera from around Rachel's neck and walked over to an young couple close by who was taking pictures "Excuse me, would you take our picture?"

The young man smiled "Absolutely." He took several pictures, the picturesque St Louis Cathedral their backdrop, telling them he wanted to make sure they had a couple nice ones.

When they returned to the hotel they sprawled out on the bed with several brochures in front of them to plan out things they wanted to do for the rest of the week. Everywhere they had stopped that day Emily had asked for recommendations on places to eat and visit. She had traveled some in her previous life and had learned to ask locals where to eat, they always knew the best places.

"So what are you thinking for dinner?" Rachel grinned as Emily stared off in the distance debating what she wanted. It amazed Rachel on more than one occasion how Emily could eat the way she did yet keep her trim figure.

"I really don't know, there's so much I want to try!" she stood and began looking through her clothes for something to wear "What about that place the woman at the desk recommended? It's not far."

"That little hole in the wall?"

"Sometimes those are the best places to eat." She pulled on a blue long sleeve blouse and a pair of black boots. She leaned over and kissed Rachel lightly "We'll just check it out before we decide whether or not to eat there. Okay?" when Rachel nodded she kissed her again "Okay, get moving because I'm starving!"

Thirty minutes later they were seated in the small restaurant. Rachel had been a little skeptical when they first entered but with the comfortable atmosphere she was changing her mind. Cajun music was playing from speakers on the walls but not loud enough to drown out their conversation. A young waitress with long blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail stopped to take their orders. It wasn't lost on Rachel that the young woman favored Emily if she had blonde hair.

"What can I get ya'll today?"

"The Po'boys, are they good or what would you recommend?"

The young woman smiled "We have the best Po'boys in the city."

The couple looked at one another and nodded "I'll have the Fried Oyster Po'boy." Emily said while handing over the menu.

"And I'll have the one with shrimp."

While waiting they talked about their day and how they wanted to spend the evening. "Where did you go a little bit ago?" Emily asked while taking a sip of her sweet tea.

Rachel furrowed her eyebrows "I've been right here the whole time."

"I meant that look, when we were ordering. You had this faraway look like you were thinking."

'_Okay this could go badly.'_ Rachel thought to herself. "It was the waitress." Emily raised her eyebrow and crossed her arms "Not like that!" Now Emily was grinning so Rachel relaxed "I was just thinking she kinda favored you, especially if you had blonde hair."

"Oh."

"Have you ever considered blonde hair? I think you're beautiful just the way you are but I'm just curious."

Emily sat up a little straighter and took a sip of her drink to gather her thoughts "Um…when I was little I did but not since. I guess I'm just used to being a brunette." The conversation was cut short by the arrival of their meal.

"Oh my God, this is so good!" Emily mumbled around a mouthful of food.

"So is mine. You wanna bite?" Rachel asked holding out half her sandwich. They swapped briefly to try what the other had ordered. "Okay, if this is the only thing we eat the entire time we're here I'll be fine with that."

Emily grinned while nodding. "But there's just so much food I want to try." She then groaned "We're gonna be so fat when we go home."

"I guess we'll just have to hit the gym a little harder." She looked up and gave the brunette a smirk "Of course we tend to burn quite a few calories in the bedroom too."

Emily returned the smirk "And in the backseat of cars." She laughed when Rachel nearly choked on her food. "Maybe we can burn a few calories while we're here, get a jump start before going home."

"I love the way you think."

After dinner they wandered through the streets holding hands while music drifted out of the open doors of bars and restaurants. "So where to next?"

"I want to take you dancing." Emily said with a smile. "What do you say we just wander around a bit and find a place that looks good?"

Rachel smiled sincerely "I'll follow you anywhere."

They had walked a couple blocks when Emily stopped "This one!" she said loudly over the Cajun and Creole music coming from inside. She tightened her grip on Rachel's hand and pulled her inside. Rachel couldn't keep the smile from her face as she watched the brunette's hips begin swaying to the music as they entered. Emily turned and shot her a cocky grin "I know you're staring at my ass!"

Rachel slipped her hand into the back pocket of Emily's jeans and gave her a gentle squeeze "And what a perfect ass it is."

They each ordered a Hurricane and sipped their drinks while watching the people on the dancefloor. Rachel kept her hand in Emily's back pocket as they swayed to the music while standing at the bar. "This is sooo good!" Rachel said while taking another drink.

Emily nodded "We are definitely having more of these before we go home."

Finishing their drinks Emily linked her fingers with Rachel's and pulled her to the floor, the music fun and upbeat, the brunette unable to stay still any longer. Their hands stayed together while their free hands rested on one another's waist. While Rachel looked around the room watching the other couples Emily kept her eyes on her girlfriend's face. Watching the blonde was one of her favorite pastimes and even though she had committed to memory every line, freckle and imperfection, to her Rachel couldn't be more perfect.

"You're staring."

"Huh?"

Rachel chuckled "You're staring at me."

Emily ran her fingertips along Rachel's eyebrow and along her cheek "Because you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life….I can't get enough."

While the words made her heart skip a beat Rachel grinned "You're so full of it."

"Oh like you don't get all sappy sometimes." She replied with a quick kiss.

A couple more hours of dancing, another hurricane, and they were ready to call it a night. They walked back to their hotel their arms wrapped loosely around one another's waist. "I'm so tired but this day has been so much fun."

Emily nodded as they entered their hotel and boarded the elevator. "I can only imagine what the rest of the week holds for us."

The next few days were spent wandering around the French Quarter and surrounding area. They spent time visiting museums, galleries and shops. Emily had been especially interested in visiting the WWII Museum, her grandfather having been a soldier who spent time in both France and Germany during the war.

New Year's Eve morning was lazily spent in bed. "So what are we doing this evening?" Emily asked as she placed her hand under Rachel's shirt and lightly ran her fingers across her stomach. Rachel simply shrugged her shoulders. "Oh, come on! You're really gonna play this game?" Again Rachel shrugged while trying to hold back a grin "You know I always win." Emily said as she leaned over and began kissing her neck.

Rachel sighed "Yeah but when you win I win too."

"I'm serious Rachel." Emily said with a pout that she was learning the blonde had trouble saying no to. "We're gonna have trouble finding somewhere to go tonight."

"Okay whiney." This earned her a pinch on the thigh. "I've already made arrangements for us tonight but it's a surprise." Seeing Emily moving in closer and knowing what her girlfriend was about to try "I promise you'll love it but please don't beg me to tell you. I want it to be a surprise."

"Now who's the whiney one?" Emily placed her hand on Rachel's cheek and pressed their lips together, lingering a moment to enjoy the feeling. "But okay, if you want it to be a surprise then I won't ask."

Not knowing how late the night might be they spent the day relaxing and taking a swim in the hotel's indoor pool. As the day went on Emily grew more excited with each passing moment at what the blonde had planned for them. She had a feeling it must be special since Rachel was insistent on her not asking what their plans were.

Rachel was reclining on the bed halfway watching television when Emily stepped from the bathroom wrapped in a towel. "I know you do that on purpose."

"What?" Emily asked innocently as she began looking through her clothes trying to decide what to wear.

"Parading around in a towel knowing we're about to go out." as she stood and walked over to the closet.

"It'll give you something to look forward to when we get back."

Rachel reached into her dress bag and pulled out a cap sleeve red dress, one of her favorites for Emily to wear "I brought this for you to wear."

"Mmm…sneaky aren't we? And just what are you going to wear?"

"Like you need to ask." She replied as she pulled her sleeveless black dress with the low cut back from the bag.

Later as they stood downstairs waiting for a courtesy car the hotel provided Rachel looked at the woman holding her hand "Have I told you lately how absolutely beautiful you are?"

Emily smiled "Once or twice but I can certainly hear it again."

The driver of their car was a kind older man with a strong New Orleans accent. He drew their attention to points of interest, told them things about his city they wouldn't find in guide books and made sure to tell them the best places to eat and drink. When they pulled up to one of the docks on the banks of the Mississippi Emily became slightly confused. "Umm…what are we doing here?"

Rachel took Emily's hand in her own as they walked down to the river boat and pulled two tickets from her purse. "We are taking a river boat cruise."

"Did you forget what happened in Memphis?"

Rachel pointed just behind her ear "Motion sickness patch. I remembered how much you enjoyed our last trip on the boat, at least until I got sick, and when I saw this it sounded so romantic. A trip on the river with the city skyline for our view, dinner buffet and dancing. We'll be back here shortly after midnight and there will be dockside events going on well after midnight."

Emily kissed her "I love you."

They waited a while to see if the patch was working before Rachel attempted anything to eat or drink. Once she realized she was okay they headed to the dining area to have dinner, with the fresh seafood and regional specialties neither were sure where to begin. After their meal they took their glasses of wine outside to watch as New Orleans passed by. "You still okay?" Emily asked while taking a sip of wine.

Rachel smiled while slipping her arm around Emily's waist "I'm good." They stayed outside for a bit when Rachel recommended heading back inside "That Jazz band sounds good, do you wanna dance?"

"Always."

Inside the music was up tempo but after a few songs the music slowed and the couple pulled one another closer. Rachel's left hand and Emily's right were clasped between them, their hands around one another's waist, dancing cheek to cheek. While Rachel's eyes were closed as she simply enjoyed the moment Emily's were open as she watched other couples. They ranged from couples who were younger than they were to elderly couples. She watched one elderly couple, she figured they were in their seventies maybe eighties. The man looked at his wife as if there wasn't another person in the room but her. She smiled as she thought about that's how Rachel looked at her, she only hoped they were still as in love at that age as what they were now. She was pulled from her thoughts when she heard Rachel whisper in her ear.

"What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking about how loved you make me feel." Tears were now forming in her eyes "I'm thinking how no one has ever made me feel as loved or special as you make me feel. I'm thinking about how much I love you and how I wish I could articulate it but there are no words to explain just how much I do love you." a few tears escaped both their eyes now "And I'm thinking about how I hope were still as in love in fifty years as we are at this moment."

Rachel smiled through her tears "I feel the same way, and I know we'll still be just as in love in fifty years. I can't tell you just how much I love you but I can certainly show you." She leaned in and pressed their lips together, pouring all her love into it.

"Ladies and gentlemen." A voice came across the speakers "It's almost midnight and for those of you who would like to, if you proceed to the starboard side of the boat you will be able to see a spectacular fireworks display."

"Come on." Emily said pulling Rachel toward a door "I want to go outside and watch."

They stood on the upper deck along the railing, Emily standing behind Rachel with her arms wrapped around the blonde. Rachel rested her hands on Emily's and pulled them tighter. When the last few seconds of the year ticked away Rachel tilted her head and met Emily for a passionate kiss, their tongues sliding against one another's. "Happy New Year baby." Emily whispered when they parted.

"Happy New Year." Rachel replied before turning back to watch the show on the river bank.

It was after one am when they finally arrived back at their hotel. They had stayed on the docks dancing and celebrating the New Year. Rachel was now standing in her pajamas looking out their window at the revelers who were still in the streets. She looked around and smiled at the sight of Emily leaving the bathroom. The brunette was wearing a pair of blue sweats and a white t-shirt, her face free of makeup. Rachel placed her hands on Emily's hips and pulled her close for a passionate kiss. When they finally broke for air Rachel looked down Emily's body then back into her eyes "Whether it's a sexy red dress like earlier or sweats and one of my shirts, you are the most gorgeous person I've ever laid eyes on."

Emily gave a slight pout then smiled "You're so full of it." she began pulling Rachel toward the bed.

"Nope, just being honest." She said as she fell on top of the brunette.

The covers were thrown back while clothes were tossed to the floor. Rachel straddled the brunette and pinned her hands to the bed while grinding down against her. "You like this don't you?"

Emily groaned but smiled "I like you any way I can get you."

Rachel leaned in for a kiss while repositioning her hips. Both sighed at the feeling of their clits rubbing against one another's. "Been a while since we've done it this way."

Emily pulled her knees up giving the blonde better access while grasping Rachel's ass and pulling her closer "It's been too long. This feels so good!"

Rachel did her best to take it slow and draw out their pleasure but they could only wait so long. "I'm so close."

"So am I, go faster."

Rachel increased the speed of her thrust while Emily moved against her. She silently hoped no one was in the hallway, they would surely hear the moans and sighs coming from their room. "I'm gonna…" the words didn't make it out of her mouth before she felt her climax take over. She tried to hold herself up but it was no use as her arms gave out.

"Oh fu…!" Emily cried out. "Yes!" she gasped for air and held the blonde close to her body. The sweatiness, the trembling, the gasps for air, she memorized it all. Every moment they shared together she committed to memory. She rose up and placed a tender kiss to Rachel's lips "I love you."

Rachel slowly slid off and reached for the covers that were mostly in the floor now. She pulled them up over them and snuggled close "I love you too."

After rising late on New Year's Day they headed out for a bit to eat before doing more sightseeing. They were now seated in the legendary Café Du Monde, after having it recommended to them repeatedly. When Emily had been told it was the best place in the city to get beignets and au lait she knew she had to try it. The café had been serving the sweet treat since the Civil War.

A handsome young man no more than eighteen welcomed them before taking their order. Once he was gone Emily laughed at the look on Rachel's face.

"What?"

"He's barely legal."

"What are you talking about?" feigning innocence.

"That kid is a dead ringer for a young Harry Connick Jr. and we both know how much you love him." she could tell the blonde was about to deny it so she cut her off "Don't even try it. We listened to his Christmas CD more than anyone else's, when his character dies in Independence Day I've seen the tears in your eyes." Now she was laughing "If he were to walk through the door right now you would be a babbling, shaking mess."

"So I have a thing for him, sue me." she then smiled her sweetest smile "He still can't compare to you though."

Emily shook her head "Like I told you last night, you're full of it." she glanced around the room then back into brown eyes "I would give this month's paychecks just to see your reaction if we did run into him."

"Okay ladies here you go." The young man said while sitting their order on the table. Emily had to admit he was very handsome and she loved his accent. "Is this your first time visiting us?" When both nodded he smiled "Well it's a tradition that on your first visit you blow the powdered sugar off your first beignet and make a wish." He smiled as their eyes darted around the room seeing others doing so and knowing he wasn't just putting them on. "Ladies, enjoy." He said before walking away.

They each picked one up and looked at one another while thinking about their wish. "On the count of three." Rachel said "One…two…three." _'I wish that I'll never lose her.'_

Emily blew the powder onto her plate _'I wish that I'll be with her the rest of my life.'_

With a breakfast that was so full of sugar and caffeine they spent the afternoon walking all around the French Quarter. They stopped in shops to buy souvenirs for themselves as well as their friends at home. As afternoon was beginning to turn into early evening Emily surprised Rachel with a horse drawn carriage ride back to their hotel. It had reminded her of the ones in New York and if she couldn't share a carriage ride around Central Park with the blonde this was the next best thing. Their driver was kind and gave them a little history lesson as well as lesser known facts about the city. After a while he grew quiet and allowed them to enjoy the remainder of the ride talking to one another.

Rachel was looking up at some of the older buildings in this part of the city when she was aware of Emily staring at her "What?"

"I want to live with you."

Rachel laughed "I thought we already decided this."

Emily nodded and sat up a little straighter "I mean, I want to live with you. I want to live with you in your house…in our house."

Rachel turned to face her better "Are you sure? What about your place?"

"I like my house but I love yours. In all honesty I feel more comfortable there than I do at my own."

Both were now smiling brightly "So you're moving into my house?"

Emily nodded while leaning in for a kiss "I'm moving into our home."

The next few days seemed to fly by for the couple. There were evenings spent going to bars and clubs to hear all the different types of music that made up the city. One night was a ghost tour that took them through supposedly haunted locations and a cemetery. While Rachel had said she didn't believe any of it, on more than one occasion she felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up. They rented a car and took a drive just outside the city to tour some of the Civil War era plantations. Emily did her best Scarlett O'Hara impersonation which simply drew laughter from her girlfriend. On their last day they spent the day riding around the city on the old fashioned streetcars.

The morning they were to leave they made another trip to Café Du Monde for one last breakfast before heading to the airport. After passing through security and waiting to board Rachel sat leafing through a magazine while Emily made a trip to the restroom. Emily had just sat down after returning when she began hitting Rachel on the leg "What the hell?!"

"Oh my God, it's him!"

"Who?"

"Harry Connick Jr."

"Where? Where?" Rachel asked as she sat up straight and began looking around.

"Right there." Emily pointed.

"Where? I don't see him!" she looked down at her carry on "Oh my God my camera's not in here! Is it in yours?"

Emily reached for hers "I think it's in here. He's coming this way."

Rachel began to stand when he finally came into view but instead turned to face Emily who was laughing hysterically. "That's not him!"

Emily shook her head "I know, I couldn't resist. Your reaction was priceless! You were such a girl!"

Rachel settled back in her chair but not before landing a punch to Emily's thigh "I hate you."

Emily continued to laugh but rubbed her thigh "That hurt."

"Serves you right."

Emily began to pout and leaned in close "Are you still gonna let me live with you?"

"I'm seriously reconsidering it now."

"But…but…but…" Emily whined. She could see the blonde was struggling not to grin "But I wuve you!"

Rachel sighed as she looked to her left, a smile slowly growing "How can I say no to that face?" she kissed her lightly "You're still allowed to move in."

"Yes!" then another kiss "I do love you."

"And I love you."


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Hello all. As usual, I apologize for the delay in posting. I'm so glad you enjoyed the last chapter and their vacation. I hope it won't be as long in updating again but it is a busy time of year, I will do my best. Glad you all are still interested in the story. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 22

In the couple weeks since returning home from New Orleans the couple found they were missing the warm weather with each passing day. A snow storm had arrived the day after they returned home and with temps that struggled to make it out of the teens or low twenties, the snow was going nowhere fast. Now there were reports of another storm coming through that night with another foot of snow expected. Emily groaned as she braced herself to step out of her nice warm car and make a run for the front door of her house.

"This is ridiculous." She mumbled as she ran through the frigid air and into the warmth of her house. After taking a moment to turn the heat up she went upstairs to change, then start dinner while waiting for Rachel to arrive.

Nearly an hour later she heard Rachel pull into the driveway. She rushed to open the door and was met with a frustrated looking blonde "Here let me help you." she said while reaching for one of the bags she was carrying.

Rachel set the bags on the counter "I hate going to the store after work, but even more I hate going when there is a snow storm coming." She leaned in for a quick welcome home kiss.

"That bad?"

"People have lost their damn minds. You would think as common as snow storms are around here they would be used to it. Instead they are shopping like they won't make it out for a week, or like they haven't shopped in a month. I know better because I saw half those people when we shopped last week after getting back."

Emily chuckled "My poor baby." she kissed the blonde again, lingering for a bit longer this time. "Better?"

"Much." She took a moment to look at Emily's outfit, the brunette wearing a pair of sweats and a maroon zip-up hoodie with nothing underneath. She met blue eyes again and smiled "And can I just say, I'm loving this outfit."

Emily looked down then back into Rachel's eyes as she slowly unzipped it a little further, just enough to tease her even more "This old thing? Just something I threw on." she shook her head as Rachel took another opportunity to look down the front of the hoodie. She gently shoved the blonde away and pointed toward the stairs "Dinners almost ready. Now go change you pervert!"

Twenty minutes later Rachel was curled up in the chair while Emily was settled on the sofa, a bowl of pasta and glass of wine for each. "You know," Rachel said as she took another bite "I've said it before but you have become quite the chef since we met."

Emily grinned, she would readily admit she was impressed with herself as well. "Why thank you. And I have to say your skills have come a long ways too. Which I guess it's a good thing because if not we'd spend the rest of our lives eating takeout or frozen."

"Hey, I could make a pretty great roast chicken when we met."

"Your roast chicken is pretty awesome, but sweetheart as much as I love you I can only have that for dinner so many times."

After dinner and cleaning up they returned to their positions, Emily reading a book while Rachel watched a crime drama. It blew her mind how inaccurate the shows could be. Granted it was television and they were going to take some liberties to fit it into one hour, but sometimes the police procedure cracked her up. She turned the television off and began looking around the room. "So have you decided what furniture you want to bring with you? We don't have that much longer."

At that Emily smiled as she marked her page "I know, a little over a month. I can't wait."

"You know you could always move in now."

"I know, but I'm still paying on my lease through the end of next month." She looked around again. "I'm not overly attached to any of this stuff, but there are a few things I'd like to bring."

"Like I've told you, bring anything you want." Then grinning "You are bringing your bed, right?"

Emily nodded "My bed will go to the guest room."

"Good," then giving the brunette a coy smile "Because I love that bed…and not just because it's comfortable."

"Ooh, sex in the guest room." Emily grinned "Now two locations to serve you better."

"Ha!" then snickering "What do you mean 'two locations'? Have you forgotten about my bathroom, my couch and the backseat of my car?"

Now Emily was laughing "All that's left is the kitchen."

Rachel wrinkled her nose a bit "That just sounds so unsanitary." Then smiling a bit "It also sounds kinda fun."

"Hmm…who knows, we might just have to try it out one day."

They spent the next hour discussing the move, what would go and what would be donated. It was scary for both since neither had ever lived with someone else, but at the same time they were excited at what the future might hold.

"It's coming down pretty good out there now." Rachel said while looking out the bedroom window.

Emily turned the bathroom light off and walked over to stand behind the blonde. She wrapped her arms around Rachel's waist and rested her chin on her shoulder as she watched the snow pour down outside. "While I hate shoveling the walk and cleaning the car off every morning, I love watching it snow." She smiled as Rachel hummed in agreement. "But you know what I love even more than that?" Rachel tilted her head and waited for a reply "I love being curled up with you while watching it snow."

Rachel smiled, her eyes misting slightly "You're so sweet sometimes it's almost sickening," then a quick kiss to Emily's lips "But I love you anyway."

Emily ran her fingers under Rachel's shirt and slipped her hands just under the waistband of her sweats. "Maybe you could show me just how much you love me?"

Rachel reluctantly pulled Emily's hands from where they were resting and began pulling her toward the bed "Can't think of anything else I'd rather do."

* * *

Emily opened her eyes as she tried to figure out what had woken her. She reached for the phone on her bedside table, seeing it was a little before six she wondered who was calling at that hour. She was no longer used to being woken by a ringing phone in the middle of the night.

"What the hell?" Rachel mumbled as she tried to pull the pillow over her head.

Emily answered and breathed a sigh of relief when she heard her boss's voice coming through the phone.

"I am so sorry to wake you."

"It's okay."

"I was thinking you might already be up. Anyway, we're not gonna be open today."

Emily glanced toward the window but didn't want to leave her bed, or the warm body next to her, to look. "Still snowing?"

"About a foot and a half and still coming down. Roads are closed, government offices, they're asking people to stay home unless absolutely necessary. So enjoy a nice day with Rachel."

"Who was that?" Rachel mumbled from her place under the pillow.

"Janet. Our office is closed today because of the weather. I'm guessing you'll be receiving a similar call before long." The words no sooner left her mouth when Rachel's phone began ringing.

After a brief conversation the blonde rolled over "I'm not working either." She pulled the blanket up higher "Guess this means we get to sleep in."

"Or…" Emily said as she slid her arm around Rachel's waist and snuggled up against her "I can think of something else we could do."

Brown eyes opened wider "Really?" she sighed as she felt Emily's fingers slowly working up under her shirt. "Did you not get enough last night?"

Emily leaned in for a kiss while her hand lightly grazed the underside of the blonde's breast "I could never get enough." Shifting her weight forward she rolled Rachel onto her back then settled on top of her. Fingers traced over skin while clothing was removed. Emily placed light kisses along Rachel's neck before slowly working across her chest, taking turns with each breast, lavishing them with equal attention before moving further south.

Rachel moaned loudly as she felt Emily push her legs further apart and begin placing kisses to her inner thighs. Even though the room was cooler than she would've liked she threw the covers back so she could watch the brunette, now way she was missing this show. She reached down and tangled her fingers in Emily's hair causing the brunette to look up and smile. A low groan escaped her lips when she felt Emily's lips were she'd been needing them. "You are so good."

Emily hummed in thanks, then smiling when she felt Rachel shiver above her. She blew her breath across Rachel's skin before running her tongue through her folds.

"Oh baby, so good."

"I could say the same thing." Emily whispered as she continued to lick and kiss her way across her lover's skin.

Rachel took a deep breath as she tried to will her body to calm down and allow the moment to last.

Emily slowly slipped a finger inside the blonde while placing a kiss to her most sensitive area.

"Oh God!" Rachel cried as tangled her fingers tighter in brown locks.

Emily continued to lightly lick her girlfriend while keeping her finger still, knowing she was driving the brunette crazy.

"Are you gonna move?"

"Hmm?" Emily mumbled, causing Rachel to jerk slightly, then pulling away.

"Don't move. Oh God, please don't move!"

Emily grinned "But you asked if I was gonna move."

"Your finger! I meant, were you gonna move your finger!"

"Oh I guess I could." Emily replied as her lips again found the sensitive bundle of nerves. She began curling her finger, finding the sensitive area inside her lover. "Is this what you meant?"

"Fuck yes." Rachel groaned as she pressed her head further into the pillow.

Emily continued to lightly massage the brunette with her finger while alternating between licking and sucking her clit. "You like this don't you?"

"I love it. You're driving me crazy here though."

"That's the whole point. You'll get your release…eventually."

Rachel moaned while her breathing was becoming more ragged. She knew she couldn't hold out much longer but she was trying her best. "I'm gonna come so hard."

"Like I said, eventually." Emily chuckled. She could feel the trembling in Rachel's body, see the tightening of her stomach muscles and feel her legs shaking on either side of her head. She used her free hand to find Rachel's and lace their fingers together. It was a gesture that made them feel closer, more connected. Deciding to take pity on the blonde Emily wrapped her lips around the straining bundle and flicked it with the tip of her tongue while continuing to rub the spot just inside.

"Oh God, that's it! Yes!" Rachel cried while clinging tightly to Emily's hand. She rode the waves of pleasure for as long as possible before pulling on the brunette's hair gently, urging her to stop. "No more. I can't take it." she said between gasps for air.

Emily rose up and leaned over the blonde, smiling while looking at the look on her face.

Rachel opened her eyes and laughed "Damn you're good." Seeing the look in Emily's eyes she knew the brunette was in need of her own release. She placed her hands on Emily's hips and pulled her up to straddle her leg.

"It's not gonna take long." Emily groaned when she felt Rachel's leg against her center. She began rocking back and forth, her arms supporting her over the blonde. Feeling Rachel flex her thigh muscle she cried out in pleasure while doing her best to hold off just a bit longer.

Rachel kept her hands on Emily's hips to support her while trailing her eyes over her body. Seeing she was almost there Rachel slid one hand down and placed her thumb against Emily's clit, applying just enough pressure to send her over the edge.

Emily cried out in pleasure as she collapsed on the blonde. She felt Rachel's arms wrap around her and hold her close. They breathed deeply for a few moments, holding one another as they came down. Emily lifted her head and stared into the brown eyes she had fallen for "I love you."

Rachel pulled her down for a kiss "I love you too. I love you so much."

Emily finally slid off to Rachel's side "Very nice way to start the day."

Rachel chuckled "Excellent way to start the day." she glanced at the window and through a small gap could see it was still snowing "And since we don't have to go to work we can stay this way as long as we want." She felt Emily's breathing evening out and knew she wasn't far from nodding off again herself.

"I can't think of anything I'd rather do."

* * *

Later that morning the snow had finally tapered off and was now just lightly falling. The couple headed outside to begin the task of trying to clear the walk and the small driveway. Emily had finally taken to parking in her garage but only when Rachel was going to be there. They took turns shoveling and cleaning Rachel's Jeep off. They were just about to head inside to warm up when Emily's phone rang. She wondered why her boss was calling her again. After listening for a moment her eyes darted to the blonde "Janet and her kids are at the park they want to know if we'll come over and go sledding with them."

Rachel grinned at the invitation, never in her life had she been sledding. "I'd love to."

Emily couldn't help but smile at the look of excitement on Rachel's face "Give us a few minutes to grab a bite and change and we'll be right over."

When they climbed out of the Jeep both smiled at the amount of kids, as well as adults, who were enjoying their afternoon in the park. As they made their way over to Janet and her kids Rachel looked nervously at Emily "I've never been sledding."

Emily's eyes widened "Never?"

"Remember, we didn't get much snow where I grew up." she watched as a couple kids flew down the hill "I've always wanted to do it though."

"I used to as a kid, we would usually get enough snow a couple times a year to go sledding."

"Rachel!" Josie squealed when she saw her favorite daycare worker. The little girl running over, as best she could in the snow, and threw her arms around Rachel's legs.

"Hey pretty girl." Rachel said as she swept the girl up into the air.

Josie giggled then placed her hands on top of Rachel's head. The blonde was wearing the knit cap that Emily had given her the Christmas before. Josie played with the two little tufts on the top of Rachel's head "I like your hat."

"I like yours too."

"You like Cinderella?" Josie asked wide eyed.

"Oh of course! Cinderella is the best princess out there."

The little girl wiggled free and ran back to where their sleds were. Emily looped her arm around Rachel's as they followed "It never ceases to amaze me how wonderful you are with kids." then kissing her cheek "You are gonna make such an awesome mom one day."

Rachel grinned "You're gonna make a pretty awesome mom as well."

They made small talk with Janet while watching the kids make a couple trips down the hill. Once Josie and her brother Michael, Mikey as he was known to family, found out that Rachel had never been sledding they launched into an excited explanation of how to do it. Josie insisted Rachel use her sled for her first ride. Rachel sat down and Josie climbed on her lap "I have to go with you so you won't be scared." the little girl said.

Emily sat down on Mikey's sled while he sat down in front of her. "On the count of three." Emily yelled.

They flew down the hill, all four laughing as they went. When the sleds finally stopped Emily looked over and had to smile at the look of excitement on the blonde's face. "Well?"

Rachel stood and grabbed the rope on the end of the sled and began pulling it, plus Josie, back up the hill. "Come on! I wanna race you!"

They spent the afternoon racing one another down the hill while sharing rides with the kids. Mikey had urged them to lay on their stomachs on the sled and go down the hill head first. Rachel had been a little unsure but after some good natured teasing from the brunette she accepted the challenge. She lay down on Josie's sled, Emily next to her on Mikey's.

"Oh come on, you big baby!" Emily yelled before pushing off.

Not one to be challenged Rachel pushed off as well, gaining a little speed and catching up to her girlfriend. The couple laughing as they raced down the hill. Emily sat up but continued to laugh at Rachel who was laughing so hard she was having difficulty getting up. "I can't get up!"

Now Emily was laughing so hard she knew she would be of no assistance. "Sorry, but I can't help you."

After spending a couple hours in the park both families decided to leave. They were tired, cold and soaking wet from the snow. In the car Emily was flipping through the stations while they laughed about their afternoon. When she caught a familiar beat she turned the music up and began to dance in her seat.

Rachel looked over and narrowed her eyes "You can't be serious." Emily grinned and began singing along. Rachel had to laugh but still couldn't believe what she was hearing "Vanilla Ice? Really?"

Emily nodded her head as she perfectly rapped along to 'Ice Ice Baby'.

"You realize the beat is just a rip off of 'Under Pressure', right?"

Emily nodded "Love it anyway." When they pulled into her driveway they continued the conversation after getting out of the car. "You can laugh at me all you want, but you like to sing too Miss 'I love Pat Benatar but can't sing like her'."

Rachel pushed the brunette as the entered the house. "I don't think I can sing like her."

"Oh whatever!" Emily replied while hanging her coat in the closet. "I've heard you trying to hit those high notes like she does. The last time you tried to you had the neighbor's dog howling."

"Ha. Ha." She took Emily's hand in her own and began pulling her toward the stairs. "I'm freezing. So why don't we forget about our musical talent, or lack thereof, and take a nice warm bath?"

"I love the way you think."

Later that evening while watching a movie Rachel looked around the room "So are you gonna miss this place?"

"Honestly?"

Rachel nodded.

Emily smiled "It's a nice house but it's not home, my home is wherever you are." She leaned from her position on one end of the couch to where Rachel was curled up on the opposite end and kissed her "I can't wait to share the rest of my life with you."

Rachel pulled her back to her for another kiss. "There's no one I'd rather share it with."


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: So sorry for the delay. I hope everyone had a nice holiday and a Happy New Year. Thank you all for your continued reviews, and new followers. My co-conspirator (Little Miss Nicap) and I are glad that you are enjoying. Let me know what you think! I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 23

As the weeks passed bringing them closer to their move both were growing more excited at what their future held. Rachel had re-signed the lease on her home while Emily informed her land lord that she would not be renewing her own. With it now near the end of January all that was left was the final packing of Emily's things for the move. The couple had already packed and moved some of her non-essential items such as spring and summer clothing and were moving and arranging Rachel's furniture to make room for what Emily would be bringing along.

Rachel stood in Emily's living room and looked at the shelf of books in front of her. She knew her girlfriend loved to read but it still amazed her at how many books she had amassed since they had met. The blonde loved to read as well but it seemed as if Emily inhaled books, often times finishing a novel a week…sometimes in even less time than that.

"Don't pack all of those yet." Emily called from the kitchen when she saw the blonde taking books from the shelf and placing them in a box.

"Why not?"

"I might want to read one of them."

Rachel tilted her head "You just bought three new ones the other day and I bought you one last week. Surely they'll last you the next month."

Emily leaned over the counter between the kitchen and living room "Have you not been paying attention? I've already finished one of the ones I bought and am halfway through the one you got me."

Rachel feigned offence "Hey, I pay attention." Then grinning "I can't help that you're a nerd and go through books so quickly."

Emily chuckled as she walked into the room and leaned over her girlfriend for a kiss "I might be a nerd but I'm your nerd."

Rachel grabbed Emily's hand and pulled her back down for a longer kiss "And I wouldn't trade you for anything in the world."

* * *

"So how's the move going?" Ina asked as she and Rachel cleaned up after lunch.

"It's going well."

The older woman tilted her head to look Rachel in the eye "Any nerves or cold feet?"

Rachel took a deep breath before facing the older woman "A little. I mean we've pretty much been living together for a while now but we still had our own places, our own space."

"Well it's not like you two fight or anything."

Rachel continued to wipe the counter down "No we don't really fight, but we've had our moments. Of course we are both slightly hard headed." The raised eyebrow she received from Ina made her laugh "Okay, more than slightly hard headed."

"Rachel, all couples argue it's a fact of life. Just make sure you make up afterwards." Then waggling her eyebrows "If you get my drift." Then laughing at the blush spreading across the blonde's face. She pat Rachel's hand "Seriously though, any worries?"

Rachel sighed "I've never lived with anyone before. I've stayed with someone I was seeing or they stayed with me from time to time but never lived with another person. I guess I'm just afraid I'll screw it up somehow." Her face turning serious "I can't mess this up, she's the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"Have you seen the way she looks at you? I have and let me tell you, it is plain as day how much she loves you. She looks at you like my husband looked at me way back when, and we've been married over thirty years. I don't think you have anything to worry about."

Rachel felt her heart swell at the description of the look she knew all too well. Emily had a way of looking at her that made her feel as if she was the only person in the world. "I guess I'm just nervous….and excited." A bright smile began lighting up her face "I am so excited." She stepped closer and pulled the older woman in for a hug. "Thank you so much. You are always there to listen and honestly-you've been more of a mother to me than my own ever was."

Ina hugged her tight then pulled back "Are you trying to say I'm old?"

"What?" Rachel's eyes went wide "No! I just… I meant…"

Ina cut her off with a laugh "I'm just giving you a hard time. Besides, I am old enough to be your mother."

"Once we're all moved in and settled we want to have a little get together. Nothing big, you and your family, Emily's boss and her family, and a few people we both work with."

They were barely back in the room when Rachel was nearly knocked over by two children grabbing her legs. Amy and Carson were twins who attended the day care several days a week. Over the last year Rachel had become one of the most popular workers. "It's story time!" Amy shouted while Carson held up a book.

"And what are we reading today?"

"The Polar Express!" Carson said while waving the book in the air.

Rachel laughed as she followed them over to a corner where they read "That's a very good book, but Christmas is over sweetie." She said while taking a seat in the floor, unlike some of the other workers who would sit on a tiny chair.

"But it's my favorite!" Carson pushed his bottom lip out and gave her his best puppy dog eyes.

"Oh all right." Rachel said before grabbing him and pulling him to her, tickling him as she did so.

Once the kids were seated around her and a second book chosen to read, 'Oh the Places You'll Go', Rachel opened the book to begin. Just before she started she felt Ina lean in behind her and whisper in her ear "You are in so much trouble once you have kids."

Later that evening the couple sat in a local pizzeria that had become one of their favorite restaurants. Emily still groaned internally that she couldn't find a pizza that could stand up to New York standards but this was the closest she had been able to find. She picked up her soda and wrinkled her nose as she watched Rachel take a slice of pizza from her half.

"What?" she asked through a mouthful of pizza.

Emily shook her head "I still don't understand how you can eat pineapple on your pizza."

Rachel shrugged while taking a drink of beer "I've always liked it. It's no different than you liking to dip yours in ranch dressing."

Over dinner they talked a little about the move then turned to how their day had been. Emily smiled while listening to Rachel talk about the kids at work. She loved how the blonde would light up when talking about the children. Her mind drifted to the future and thoughts of them having their own children. She knew without a doubt that if Rachel lit up like this over children that weren't hers she would practically glow when it came to their own.

As they walked out into the cold evening air Emily wrapped her arm around the blonde for support as Rachel stumbled slightly. "Watch it."

"I'm fine. I'm fine." Rachel said as she steadied herself. "I'm not drunk."

"No but you did have a few beers."

"So?"

Emily waited while Rachel clumsily climbed into the passenger seat of Emily's car before getting in herself. "So we usually drink wine and fall asleep. We don't drink beer that often."

Rachel leaned her head back against the seat and sighed. She didn't want to admit it but her girlfriend was right. She silently wondered what had happened to her. At one time it was nothing to go out with the guys after a case and throw a few back. Once she, Elliot and Fin had a contest to see who could outdrink the other. She had drank them under the table but paid the price with the worst hangover of her life. She began smiling as her mind now drifted to she and Emily having a glass of wine after dinner and a quiet evening at home. A quiet evening at home with the woman she loved beat a night at a noisy bar any day of the week.

When Emily walked downstairs after changing she was surprised to see Rachel sitting in the floor in front of the television. "What are you doing?"

Rachel turned and motioned to the box in front of her "I was just packing up some of the movies and stuff like that. The sooner you're packed the sooner we're living together."

"You don't have to do that tonight." Emily said as she walked over and tried to take the box "There's not that much, I can take care of it."

Rachel waved her arms "No, no, I've got it."

"Okay." Emily surrendered. Rachel wasn't drunk that often but Emily had learned that when she was the blonde was even more hard headed than usual.

Emily had retreated to the laundry room and was taking clothes from the dryer when she heard Rachel's laughter from the living room. Curiosity getting the best of her she headed to see what was causing it.

"Oh my God!" Rachel laughed when she saw Emily enter the room. She held up a DVD case and shook her head "I can't believe you own this!"

Emily blushed as she saw what Rachel was holding. She had forgotten about that DVD being in the back of her collection. "It's not that big of a deal."

Rachel threw her head back and looked at the ceiling as she continued to laugh "It's just not like you though." she looked at the case again and erupted into another round of laughter "Wayne's World? Seriously?"

"Oh come on! Like you haven't liked something that would surprise others? It was just a fun movie to watch and have a few laughs." She walked over and pulled the case from Rachel's hand with a huff.

Rachel turned, arms in the air and began bowing toward the brunette "I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!" repeating one of the lines from the movie. Now laughing so hard in her drunken state that she fell over and continued to laugh.

Emily rolled her eyes "I'm going to bed. I hope your drunk ass can make it up the stairs."

Nearly twenty minutes later Emily heard Rachel shuffling through the bedroom door. The brunette looked up from the book she was reading and watched her girlfriend slowly make her way to the bathroom. A few minutes later Emily heard the light in the bathroom click off and Rachel made her way into the room. She loved the sight of her girlfriend fresh-faced and no makeup. She continued to read her book as Rachel pulled the covers back on her side of the bed and collapsed on the mattress. It was easy to see the several beers at dinner were beginning to take their toll.

Rachel leaned over and pressed a light kiss to Emily's cheek "I'm sorry for laughing at you." she said in a sincere tone.

Emily was going to pretend to ignore her, just to draw it out for a bit, but a sideways glance at those beautiful brown eyes and it was no use. One look into those eyes and she was a goner. A smile slowly crept across her face "It's okay. I'm not mad at you."

"I love you."

"I love you too." Emily said, leaning in for a goodnight kiss.

* * *

Late Monday morning Rachel was trying her best to clean up the mess that was her laundry room thanks to a burst pipe. She had thought the pipes were well protected but the nearly sub-zero weather they had been having for days was finally too much. Luckily she had stopped by to pick something up or she wouldn't have known until that evening or later. She had called into work to deal with the mess as well as get a plumber to fix her pipes. Emily offered to help but Rachel pointed out there wasn't any reason for both of them to miss work. It was almost noon and the plumbers had just left, fixing the problem relatively quickly. Now all that was left was the mess left behind. She had just loaded into the washer all of the towels she had thrown down on her wet floor when she heard the doorbell. Figuring the plumbers had left something behind she did a quick glance around the room before heading toward the door. Opening the door she was surprised at her guest.

"Hey Tyler."

The young Marshal smiled "Hey Rachel, how's it going?"

"Well aside from a pipe freezing and busting, pretty good." She replied as she ushered him into the house.

"I've had that happen before, it sucks."

"So how have you been?" she asked while motioning him to have a seat.

"Good. My wife and I are expecting a baby later this summer."

Rachel grinned as she sat down "Congratulations!"

"Thanks. I'm not really supposed to tell anyone yet but I think you can keep a secret." He said with a wink causing the blonde to laugh.

"Can I get you anything, coffee, tea?"

He shook his head and held up his hand "Thank you though." he settled back in the chair and eyed the blonde for a moment, then began to smile "How would you like to go home Olivia?"


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Wow! Thank you all so much for your response to the last chapter! I know you all had been waiting for that, and so have we, but there is a plan and a method to the madness. We spend a lot of time with Rachel this chapter, and it may not be exactly what you're expecting but I think you will like it. Like my co-conspirator Little Miss Nicap says 'Trust me.' Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 24

Two days. It had been two days since Tyler's visit, and Rachel had yet to tell Emily. In the forty-eight hours that had passed a million different scenarios played out in her mind as to what was going to happen now. The one thought she couldn't shake was Emily. How was she going to tell the brunette, and more importantly how was she going to react? It was now Wednesday afternoon, Rachel sat in her Jeep waiting for Emily to leave work. It had been easy enough to blow off Emily's questions if anything was wrong on Monday by blaming the way her day had started with the frozen pipes. Tuesday she claimed a rough day at work. She rested her head back against the seat and sighed at the headache that was slowly getting worse. At least if Emily asked what was wrong she wouldn't be lying this evening.

As she waited snippets of the conversation from Monday afternoon ran through her mind.

'_Gang has been dealt with.' _

'_Threat against you has been eliminated.'_

'_It's safe to go home.'_

'_No your squad doesn't know yet. We wanted to inform you first.'_

'_No, you don't need to pack up and return now. Take your time, there's no rush. As far as everyone is concerned you are still in the program.'_

"Ugh!" she cried out as she put her hands over her eyes and pressed for a moment before running her fingers through her hair. For months all she thought about was returning home, then she met Emily, and those thoughts slowly began to fade. The brunette had made her realize she could have the kind of life she never thought she would have. Now she had someone to come home to at the end of the day, someone who treated her as if she were the most precious thing on the planet and most importantly, someone who loved her like she never thought possible.

The one thing Rachel was sure about was she was going to make every effort to keep Emily in her life. Her first thought was to invite Emily to come to LA with her, but at the same time she knew Emily may not want to pack up and start over again somewhere else. As badly as she wanted to return home, if it meant staying with Emily she would forget LA and stay right here. As much as she had thought about home, about returning home, she had now come to the realization that Emily was home. Wherever the brunette was would always be home. Now she had to figure out how to tell the woman she loved more than life itself that she had been lying to her since the day they met.

The blonde was so lost in her thoughts that she wasn't even aware of Emily approaching the SUV.

Emily opened the passenger door and hopped in, grateful to be out of the cold. "I would give my right arm to have one day above twenty degrees!" she sat her bag in the floor and smirked as she faced the blonde "Although I have a feeling you might miss my right hand." Her expression faltered when she realized her girlfriend was completely lost in thought. "Rachel?" she asked as she placed a hand on the blonde's arm.

Unaware she wasn't alone Rachel nearly jumped out of her skin. She gasped for air and placed a hand on her chest to slow her heartrate.

Emily jumped as well. She noticed how the color seemed to drain from Rachel's face. "Baby, are you okay? You're white as a sheet!"

Rachel took a few steadying breaths "Oh my God, you scared me to death!" she ran her hand over her face and noticed the look of concern on the brunette's face "I'm okay. I promise."

"You're sure?"

Rachel nodded as she pulled out of the parking lot and into traffic "I'm sure."

The ride was fairly quiet, a little discussion of their day and that was it. Emily knew something had been bothering Rachel the last few days but she couldn't figure out what it was. She understood her frustration and anger Monday evening but the day before was when it made her wonder. In all the time they had known one another she could count on one hand how many times Rachel said she had a bad day at work. Of course she was usually tired after dealing with children all day but rarely did she call it a bad day. Judging by the look on Rachel's face now it was going to be another long evening. "So, leftovers for dinner?" she asked trying break the ice.

"Sounds good." The blonde was so lost in thought she didn't even notice the brunette lean back in resignation and stare out the window.

After dinner Rachel was stretched out on the sofa with a glass of wine while Emily was curled up in the chair. The television was tuned to a Travel Channel program on Germany but neither were paying much attention. Rachel's mind was a whirlwind of thought. She was struggling with how to begin the conversation she desperately needed to have. Every scenario she came up with though just seemed to end badly. Even drawing on her detective skills she couldn't find a way to start the conversation. Each moment that passed though she knew she was just digging the hole deeper.

"You're being awfully quiet."

"Sorry?"

Emily turned the volume down a bit "I said you're being awfully quiet." she turned so she could see the other woman better "Are you sure everything is okay?"

"I just have a headache." Rachel tilted her head and gave Emily a half smile "I'm okay though."

"You keep saying that but you've just seemed a little off the last few days."

She sat up and picked up the bottle of wine from the coffee table and poured more in her glass. She tilted the bottle toward the brunette offering her more, but Emily shook her head. "Just a bad start to the week, that's all." Rachel replied before downing half her glass in one gulp.

Later while getting ready for bed Rachel kicked herself for allowing yet another evening to pass without disclosing her secret. She had come close a time or two to telling Emily but every time she opened her mouth the words just wouldn't come out right. She finished brushing her teeth and rose up to see Emily's reflection staring back at her in the mirror. The brunette was smiling but there was a hint of worry in her eyes.

"You know I love you, right?"

A simple comment but it had the ability to bring tears to the blonde's eyes "I know."

"And," Emily said as she stepped closer and wrapped her arms around Rachel's waist from behind, their eyes never leaving one another's "You know that I'm here for you no matter what. So just know that this bad day, bad week, this funk…whatever it is that's gotten you down, I'm here for you." she tilted her head and placed a gentle kiss to Rachel's neck.

Rachel dropped her head and placed her hands over Emily's, pulling them tighter around her. _'It would be so easy. Just do it, do it now!' _she thought to herself. _'Just lay it all out. Put all your cards on the table. She loves you, it might be difficult but she'll understand.'_ And just as she was thinking she had found the courage the doubt began creeping in _'What if she doesn't believe me? What if she thinks I'm crazy? What if? What if? What if?'_ then the most terrifying one of all _'What if she leaves me?'_ Seized by fear she shook the thought from her mind. Of all the scenarios that played out in her head that was the one that turned her stomach. She lifted her head and again met the worried expression reflecting back at her. Turning in Emily's arms she pulled her in for a hug, holding one another and simply breathing. "I love you so much."

Emily took her by the hand and began pulling her into the bedroom "C'mon, you need to relax." She pulled her covers back on Rachel's side and motioned her to lie down "Take your shirt off."

Rachel gave her a sad smile "I'm really not in the mood tonight."

Emily chuckled and kissed her quickly "I know. I was just gonna massage your back, but if you're not up for that its okay."

As much as she wanted to go to sleep Rachel couldn't resist the offer. "Okay." She pulled her shirt over her head and laid face down on the bed.

Emily grabbed the bottle of lotion from her bedside table and straddled the blonde's hips. She leaned in and pressed a kiss to the top of Rachel's spine and whispered "I love you." before squirting lotion into her hands and starting to work. She knew her girlfriend was tense but she had no idea it was this bad.

"Ohhh…" Rachel moaned as Emily began working an especially tight knot.

"I'm sorry, am I hurting you?"

"It hurts but its okay, keep going."

Emily kept up her work for nearly an hour. Making sure that every knot and kink was worked free. She leaned in to kiss Rachel on the cheek but was surprised when the blonde tilted her head just enough for their lips to meet. After a short kiss Emily slid off to her side and lay down.

"I feel like I've melted into the mattress." Rachel mumbled, having yet to move from her face down position.

Emily chuckled "I'll make sure to roll you out of bed in the morning."

Rachel slid her arm under her pillow and pulled it under her head. She kept her eyes on the brunette wishing she could muster the courage to tell her. "Do you ever think that somethings happen for a reason?"

"I'm sorry?" Emily asked slightly confused.

"Well, I mean, kinda like right place/right time. That something happened not just by coincidence but because it was meant to happen?"

Emily rolled onto her side to see the blonde better. "I guess." She ran her hand under Rachel's pillow and linked their fingers. "I think we were meant to happen."

At that Rachel smiled. "Do you believe in forever?" the look on Emily's face told her she needed to clarify. "I'm not speaking in a religious sense but in a more practical sense."

"You mean forever, as in how we committed to one another." It wasn't a question, and she had to admit it scared her a bit.

She could tell Emily had no clue where she was going with this line of thought, and to be honest neither did she. "Yeah, I guess."

"I see." Emily closed her eyes as she tried to ward off the tears. Her head was starting to think it knew where this conversation was going. Her heart was trying to tell her to stay calm. "Are you…having second thoughts about us?"

Rachel's head shot up "What?!" she slid closer and wrapped an arm around Emily's waist "No, no. I would never have second thoughts about us. You are the most calm and steadying force I've ever had in my life. I just…" she sighed as she tried to find her words. "I know my past and I'm just afraid that one day I'll do something stupid, or you'll finally have enough and that's it."

"I love you Rachel! I'm not going anywhere. I promise." She wrapped her free arm around Rachel as they tried to get as close as possible and provide the comfort both was sure the other was needing. "Is this what's been bothering you the last few days?"

Rachel tilted her head back and forth "Partly."

"Well, you can put that out of your mind right now."

Rachel nodded and leaned in for a kiss, hoping to pour all her love into it. The loving, gentle kiss she was receiving in return helped calm her as well.

When the kiss ended the lay silently staring at one another. "You wanna talk some more?"

Rachel shook her head "I just want to sleep."

"Okay." Emily pulled the covers tighter around them "I love you."

"I love you too."

The week continued on with Rachel still unable to tell Emily her secret. She thought that by taking her time she would be able to come up with the perfect way to tell her. Instead she found that with each passing day she found it not only more difficult to do, but more fearful of what the brunette's reaction would be. She hit the gym Thursday and Friday evening for a couple hours after work, taking out her fears and frustrations on the treadmill and the punching bag. Emily joined her on Thursday evening but opted out on Friday. She wanted so badly to know what was bothering her love but she also knew she couldn't drag it out of her. Over the last year or so she had learned that Rachel was a private person and kept her cards close to the vest. While she knew Rachel had opened up to her more than anyone she knew there were still somethings she kept inside. Of course she had her own secrets as well. She knew the blonde would open up when she was ready and she planned to be there when she did.

At a little after eight Rachel drug herself through Emily's front door. She was exhausted from her workout. She had pushed her body to the max but her mind was still a mess. She had come close to telling her that morning. She was so close, the words were on the tip of her tongue but Emily turned and flashed her that beautiful smile then kissed her cheek before pouring a cup of coffee. She lost all nerve.

"No offense but you stink." Emily said with a smile as Rachel dropped her bag at the bottom of the stairs.

"None taken." She kissed the brunette quickly "I'm gonna take a shower."

Emily grabbed her hand "Want some company?"

Honestly she wanted to be alone and have more time to think but the hopeful look in those beautiful blue eyes and she couldn't say no "Of course."

While Emily had hoped their shower would go further than what it did she was happy with the kisses and touches they shared. To be able to hold the woman she loved more than anything in the world close to her was one of the best ways she could imagine an end to her day.

They shared a light dinner after their shower then headed to bed. Emily had long been asleep but Rachel lay awake, her mind refusing to shut off. She stared at the ceiling _'You're such a wuss!'_ she thought. _'You can face down murderers, rapists and child abusers but you can't look the woman you love in the eye and tell her the truth.' _She ran a hand through her hair _'She loves you. You know she loves you. She's not going to leave you.' _she rolled over and watched Emily. A year of sleeping together she could tell she was sleeping soundly. She hated to wake her but at the same time she felt like it was now or never. "I'm not who I say I am." she whispered. "My name is Olivia and I have been hiding in Witness Protection." She now felt a few tears stinging her eyes. "I still love you though. It doesn't matter what my name is, my heart belongs to you." she lay back down, a few tears finally escaping. Emily was still sound asleep. Rachel blew out a breath. Maybe she had taken the easy way out but after saying it out loud she felt she could finally tell the brunette, vowing to do so the next morning.

Emily stirred in the middle of the night, unsure what had woken her. She glanced at the time and saw that it was almost three in the morning. She shuffled under the covers to get comfortable again and realized that Rachel was moving around. She looked over and could tell the brunette was in the middle of a dream. She was murmuring something but she wasn't sure what. Rachel had a lot of dreams in the beginning when they first started sleeping together but they had decreased over time. The one thing she had grown accustomed to, and loved, was how the blonde would whisper 'Emily' in her sleep. She reached out for Rachel's hand when she began to whimper "Don't leave me."

Emily looked confused for a moment. "It's okay." She whispered.

"Don't leave me. Please don't leave me!" Rachel almost cried.

Emily pulled Rachel into her arms and held her, gently running her fingers through her hair and whispering to her "I'm not going anywhere."

"Please." Rachel mumbled against her neck, still unshaken from her dream.

"I promise. I'll never leave you."

"Can't lose Emily." her voice barely a whisper.

Emily's heart broke. "It's okay, you'll never lose me." She continued to hold her girlfriend until she finally drifted back into a peaceful sleep. Emily wiped a tear from her eye, wishing she could ease the blonde's internal pain.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Sunlight peeking through the curtains slowly roused Emily from her sleep. She opened her eyes and glanced at the alarm clock on her bedside table, just after nine am. She yawned as she rolled over and was disappointed to see she was alone. Emily listened for a moment but the house was quiet. After the restless night they'd both had she was hoping to talk to Rachel that morning, but first she needed to figure out where she was. She began to sit up when a piece of paper slid off the blonde's pillow.

_Good morning beautiful! You were out like a light so I couldn't bring myself to wake you. I'm running over to that bakery you love so much to get us breakfast. I'll be back soon. Love, Rachel_

Emily smiled at the little heart that was drawn beside Rachel's name, something the blonde often did when she left her little notes. To some it may seem childish but Emily loved it. Climbing from bed she pulled on the blue sweater Rachel had given her for Christmas, jeans, and her hair into a ponytail. She started sorting their laundry but her mind was on the blonde. She was still concerned about what was bothering her so much. The most disturbing part was Rachel's pleas in her sleep for Emily not to leave her. Emily shook her head as she thought about it, she couldn't imagine not being with Rachel let alone willingly leaving her.

Hearing a car pull into the driveway Emily peeked out the window before quickly making her way downstairs. She opened her front door, Agent Hammond and Lt. Murphy standing on the other side. Her eyes were wide and her voice shaky "What happened?"

Emily sat on her sofa staring at the picture of Liam Connors in her hand. "So this is what he looks like." She sighed and glanced at the two men sitting opposite her "Every time a stranger glanced at me, I thought 'has he found me? Is he going to kill me?'" she shook her head "And now I know." She had listened as both men explained the events over the last few days and weeks leading up to Connors arrest.

Emily was quiet for moment before they began discussing the case again and how they have arrived at her door. Murphy apologizes, explaining he didn't have a choice. Emily understands and tells him so. She was a prosecutor she knows he can't commit perjury.

Murphy leaned forward a bit in his chair "I'm only sorry the bastard won't have to answer for what he did to you."

Emily shook her head slightly "Oh he will. I want him charged with my attempted murder."

Hammond tilted his head, his expression serious "Now, you'd have to go back to testify. That's stepping right into their crosshairs."

"For years I convinced victims to face their attackers. Now it's time for me to step up." the fight, the prosecutor, making its way to the surface.

Both men do their best to dissuade her, try to convince her she doesn't need to testify. Even though she hasn't argued a case in over a year she argues right back, making her case as to why she would have to. Trying to convince them if she doesn't they'll lose their case.

"No," Hammond said with a shake of his head "We still have Connors on four counts of murder."

Emily's eyes go wide "Because an eight-year-old boy had the guts to testify. After being shot, twice!"

Murphy nods. He can tell the Alex he remembers is gearing up for a fight. "Alex, if you go back, they will try and kill you again."

The brunette sighs, struggling not to cry. While she doesn't know how to explain it to Rachel she wished desperately her girlfriend was with her at the moment. She took a deep breath before speaking "I have lost my home, my job, my friends. My Mother died and I couldn't go to the funeral." Her voice cracking a bit now "Liam Connors is not going to take my conscience too!"

Hammond and Murphy looked to one another. They knew before they arrived they were in for a fight and she had given them one. "Okay, since you seem so hell bent on doing this I guess we need to make some arrangements." Hammond said with a sigh.

Murphy gave him a look that clearly told him to take it easy. "Yes arrangements will need to be made but her safety is first and foremost."

It was almost an afterthought for Emily. "What about Kelli, my Marshal?"

"I've already been in contact with her." Hammond said. "She would've been with us but she was unavailable to meet us due to another case. She is traveling here sometime later today."

She nodded "When do I have to leave?" her mind was now racing with everything she needed to do. And at the top of that list was tell Rachel, she had no idea how to go about it.

"As soon as possible." Hammond said very matter of fact.

"I have things I have to take care of first." Emily said.

"We have a flight out this evening and you're gonna be on it."

Emily sat up straighter "No, like I said I have things here I have to take care of."

Once again it was Murphy taking her side. He held his hand up and turned to face Hammond "We can bump our flight to tomorrow. We're waiting on the Marshal handling her case anyway." He looked back to the brunette "And don't worry about safety. The Marshal Service has already been in contact with the local police and they will be providing a security detail until they are able to get someone from the Marshal Service here later this afternoon."

Now Emily's mind was racing. Between the mentions of a security detail and a flight back she couldn't think straight. Her mind was a jumbled mess but the one thing that kept coming back was Rachel. _'How am I going to tell her? How do I explain this? Where do I begin? What if she doesn't believe me? What am I going to do?'_ She looked to Murphy "Can I talk to you for a minute?" she stood and motioned for him to follow, the look on her face clearly telling Hammond to stay where he was.

Murphy followed her through to the laundry room in the back of the house. Once alone he gave her a sympathetic smile "How are you holding up?"

She breathed deeply and returned his smile "I can't even think straight at the moment so I'm not really sure." She placed a hand on his arm "Thank you for backing me up in there."

Murphy nodded "You're welcome." He waited a beat then spoke again "You said there are things you need to take care of. Is there anything I can do?"

She shook her head "It's something I have to do myself, thank you though."

He looked at her for a moment before giving her a knowing smile "There's someone, isn't there?"

Emily chuckled "We've been together over a year. I have to tell her. I can't just up and disappear on her."

"I understand."

Emily shook her head but smiled in appreciation. She hadn't worked with the Lieutenant very long before going into the program but they had hit it off well. She had missed his kind and quiet way of doing things, that underlying Irish accent that made his voice so calming. "As much as I hate to say this you guys are gonna have to leave." She grinned at his mock look of hurt "She ran out to get us breakfast and I'd say she'll be back pretty soon."

He handed her his card with his cell number "There is already a protective detail in an unmarked car watching this place, but if you need me just call. I don't care what it's for just call and I'll be here in a heartbeat."

"Thank you so much." She said before giving him a friendly hug.

Emily escorted them to the door and took an opportunity to look up and down the street. Murphy knew what she was doing and gave her a reassuring smile "Don't worry, they're out here keeping an eye on you."

"I believe you."

After closing and locking her door Emily took a seat and allowed a few tears to escape. How had this happened? Everything was going along great and now this. She glanced at one of the boxes sitting in the corner that she had packed the evening before. In less than two weeks she was to be moving in with Rachel and now…well now she didn't know. Now a different fear was creeping in. How was she going to tell the blonde and more importantly were they still going to be together in two weeks? Hearing a car door shut outside caused her to jump. She cautiously walked over to the window and peeked out. Her heart began to pound when she saw Rachel walking up to the door. Emily began pacing back and forth while trying to steady her breathing, pulling on every prosecutorial skill she had to get through what she needed to say. How do you tell someone that everything they know about you is a lie…except for your love?

"So I got fresh croissants and they had homemade jams. I got strawberry for me and grape for you because you're weird and think grape jam and jelly is good." She said with a chuckle. "They also had peach pie so I got each of us a piece for later." She sat the bag on the counter and poured herself a cup of coffee. When she turned back around she noticed Emily still standing in the same spot in the living room. "What's the matter?"

Emily looked to the ceiling and took a deep breath "We need to talk."

Rachel walked in and stood in front of the brunette. Her heart was pounding as she wondered if Emily had actually heard her middle of the night confession. She had run out to the bakery that morning for breakfast in an attempt to calm her nerves, and had every intention of telling Emily the truth when she returned. She took Emily's hands in her own and could feel them shaking. She gave them a gentle squeeze "Baby, what's wrong?"

Emily pulled her over to the couch and sat down, turning to face one another. She kept hold of Rachel's hands willing them to stop shaking. She looked the blonde in the eye and saw worry and concern there, and a little fear. She squeezed her eyes closed to hold off the tears and blew out a shaky breath before beginning. "Um…I don't really know where to begin. Uh, I just…I just ask that you let me finish before you say anything."

Rachel reached out and lightly cupped Emily's cheek, smiling and hoping her own nerves weren't showing "Okay."

"Okay, so…you know how I told you about how I was shot?" Rachel nodded "Well, the story I told you isn't exactly the truth. I was shot in a drive by on a sidewalk in New York City." She watched as Rachel's eyes went wide. Emily felt tears gathering in her eyes but she was doing her best to keep them in. She also felt as if she was about to be sick but hoped she could at least get through her confession first. "My name is Alexandra Cabot and after I was shot I was declared dead, legally and entered the Witness Protection Program." She saw Rachel's jaw drop and decided to push on before the blonde was able to speak. "I was an Assistant District Attorney for the city and we ended up getting a case that led back to a very well connected drug dealer. Long story short he was connected to a Colombian cartel leader. One of the DEA agents who were investigating him died in a car bomb, I was there when it happened. I was at his office because earlier that day there was a hit put out on me." now the tears were beginning to fall. She smiled a bit when she felt Rachel's shaking hand gently wipe one away. "The next day we handed our case over to the Feds. That evening I went out for drinks with a few detectives from the squad I prosecuted for. After leaving the three of us were standing outside talking when an SUV drove by." More tears and her voice was now shaking "I heard a pop and the next thing I knew I was laying on the sidewalk, my shoulder feeling like it was on fire."

She stopped for a minute to catch her breath, closing her eyes and willing the tears to stop but now that they'd started she didn't think she could. "Nick was um…he was pressing his hand on my shoulder trying to stop the bleeding." She saw a flicker of recognition in Rachel's eyes from the story she'd originally told. "When I woke from surgery there was a Marshal in my room and the next thing I knew I was 'dead' and well…you know the rest."

The silence in the room was palpable. Both women were still holding hands-hands that were still shaking, if not more so. Emily watched her girlfriend for any reaction but couldn't get a read on what she was thinking. She was almost always able to know what the blonde was thinking but right now she had no clue what Rachel was thinking.

Rachel was trying to figure out what to say but she couldn't find the words. Emily was in the same boat she was. What were the odds of two people in the program meeting let alone falling in love? She opened and closed her mouth a couple times but still couldn't speak, barely able to form a thought. "I…I…"

Emily wiped her tears and decided to continue "I'm so sorry for not telling you before now but I couldn't. If they found out I had told anyone I would've been pulled immediately. I couldn't bear to lose you so I didn't say anything." She squeezed Rachel's hands "You have to believe me. I wanted to tell you, I came so close a few times but then I thought of being whisked away from you with no goodbye and I couldn't do it. I love you so much and can't stand the thought of not being with you."

Rachel felt as if she couldn't breathe at what she was hearing. "Why?"

Emily was now trying to wipe the tears that wouldn't stop. She was sure she knew what the blonde was asking "While you were gone I had a visit from one of the DEA agents who was on the case as well as the lieutenant from my squad. They found the man who shot me, he's under arrest for four other murders. They came to tell me and…well it's a long story but they have to tell the court I'm still alive. I also told them I want him charged with my attempted murder. I'm gonna have to go back to New York to testify."

Rachel felt her stomach drop. She knew full well what kind of danger the brunette would be in. Her cop instincts kicked in and she looked to the door, trying to remember if it had locked after coming in. She wished she had a gun at the moment in order to protect her girlfriend if need be.

Seeing Rachel's eyes flick around the room Emily pulled her attention back "We're safe. They arranged a protective detail for me until the Marshal handling my case can get here later this evening." She waited a moment and was becoming worried when her girlfriend still hadn't spoken.

"When do you have to go back to New York?"

"Uh…I don't know. Tomorrow maybe?" her mind was still racing so she couldn't really think clearly at the moment.

Rachel was starting to worry as to what that meant for their relationship. If she had her way she would be accompanying the brunette. After knowing the situation that had put Emily in the program she didn't trust anyone to protect her girlfriend but herself.

Emily was still worried because Rachel still hadn't really said anything. "Honey, say something."

Rachel looked her in the eye and was about to speak but instead laughed briefly before covering her mouth. It was not the reaction Emily was expecting but she chalked it up to how unbelievable the story did sound.

Rachel couldn't believe what she'd just heard. What were the odds that the person she would meet and fall in love with while being in witness protection was also in the program? "Sorry for laughing." Emily nodded, implying it was okay. Rachel closed her eyes for a second as she tried to get the right words for what she needed to say. "I want to say something but all I ask is that you let me say it before you respond."

Emily had no idea where the blonde was going with this. She was expecting questions or even anger but not a calm reaction. "Okay."

The blonde blew out a shaky breath and began "Okay. My real name is Olivia Benson and I too have been hiding in Witness Protection."

Emily's eyes went wide "What?"

"I know it sounds crazy but it's true. I was a Detective with LAPD and after arresting a suspect who had gang connections a threat was made against me and I ended up getting stabbed. They knew I had survived and would try to kill me again. The Marshals wanted me to go into hiding and well…you know the rest."

Emily's eyes narrowed "That's not funny."

"What?"

"Saying you're in the program just like me."

Rachel was confused "But its true!" seeing the skeptical look she was receiving she continued "Oh what, it's a believable story when you tell it, but I have the same story and it's not believable?"

Emily sighed and looked everywhere but at the woman in front of her. She knew how unbelievable her story sounded but what were the odds of meeting someone in the same exact situation. When she finally looked at Rachel again she could see the sincerity in her eyes. She immediately regretted her reaction. "Sorry."

Rachel now relaxed a bit "It's okay."

"So why are you telling me now?" Emily asked "If they find out you told me they'll move you."

"I had a visit Monday afternoon from the Marshal handling my case. He told me that the gang and threat against me had been dealt with. I could return home when I was ready."

"So you've known since Monday?" again Rachel nodded "You've known for almost a week and didn't say anything?" her voice now changing.

Rachel could tell the mood had shifted but she thought Emily would understand "Yes."

Emily jumped from her spot on the couch and began pacing the room "So you've been lying to me?"

"What? No!" Rachel stood to face the brunette.

"Then why?"

"I…I don't know. I just didn't know what to say or how to say it and I've been trying to figure out how to tell you." she could see the anger in blue eyes "I still love you."

"And yet you lied to me." she could feel the anger in her increasing.

"I was scared to death of how you'd react! I knew how my story sounded and I was afraid you wouldn't believe me so I wanted to try and work it out in my head first. I was going to tell you today, I swear!" then starting to get angry herself she turned the tables "How is this any different? You've been in the same situation as me but you're mad because I didn't tell you until now?"

"Yes! I found out this morning that I have to go back and that's why I told you. You've known for five days. A fucking week! I thought I meant more to you than that. Do I mean so little that you can't tell me the damn truth?!"

Rachel couldn't believe what she was hearing. She had expected Emily to be upset, shocked and maybe a little angry but she hadn't anticipated a response like she was receiving. "Hold up. I love you and it's because I love you so much I was afraid I'd lose you. That's why I was so afraid to tell you. You've been lying too so don't act like it's just me."

"Yeah I've lied because I had too! I told you the moment I found out because you are the most important thing in my life. I didn't wait a week."

Both were now pacing the room like two caged lions ready to pounce. Rachel ran her fingers through her hair as she tried to calm down. She had expected Emily to be angry and maybe even a little hurt but now that she knew Emily was in the same situation she thought she would at least be a little understanding. She turned to face the blonde "Okay look, maybe I should've be honest up front but it doesn't change the fact that I love you."

"Listen to yourself. You keep saying you love me so much but yet you couldn't be honest with me!"

"Because I was terrified I'd lose you!" Rachel shouted. "Do you know how ridiculous my story sounded?"

"Yes, I do!" Emily shouted back. "I know because from the moment they left until you came back I kept going over it in my head and I knew how unbelievable it sounded. But I told you anyway! I was scared I'd lose you too but I still told you! I had been lying long enough and as afraid as I was I couldn't lie any longer." She was crying now and so was Rachel. Emily was doing her best to reign in her anger but she was having trouble doing so. "If you loved me as much as you say you do you would've told me as soon as you found out."

Rachel shook her head and grabbed Emily's hands. When the brunette jerked away it was like being stabbed all over again. "I'm sorry. Okay? I'm so sorry I didn't tell you that day. I'm sorry I whispered it to you while you were asleep last night like a coward." A look flickered in Emily's eyes but only briefly before going back to the anger that had been there. "I do love you more than anything in the world, I really do."

"Get out."

A fresh round of tears slipped down Rachel's cheeks at the words "What?"

"I said get out." It may not have been the best thing to say but at the moment Emily was so overwhelmed it was the only thing she could think to say.

"Emily don't." Rachel pleaded.

The brunette crossed her arms over her chest in a protective move "I want you out of here now." Her voice so calm it was scary. "I need to be alone right now."

Rachel knew she needed to stay and fight, she wanted to stay and fight, but she was afraid of pushing any further. How the woman in front of her could be crying while at the same time have such a calm, almost cold voice was beyond her. "Baby please. Please let's work this out."

Emily looked to the door then back to the blonde "I said get out."

Rachel hung her head as she picked up her purse and opened the door. She scanned the street and quickly noticed the unmarked car sitting a few houses down. While she didn't want her girlfriend alone right now at least there was someone watching out for her. She turned back and saw Emily staring at the floor while still crying. "Emily please!" her voice full of emotion.

While Rachel's plea went straight to her heart she couldn't give in. "You need to go."

"I love you." Rachel said and closed the door, turning the handle to make sure it had locked behind her. The fact that she hadn't heard the sentiment in return nearly killed her. She climbed into her Jeep and managed to close the door before dropping her head into her hands and breaking down.

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**A/N: This will be quick because I'm sure you all hate me at the moment. I own nothing but my own characters. Thank you all for the reviews of the last chapter, so glad you liked. I'm sure this wasn't what you were expecting but like I've asked before, just trust me. I'll try not to leave you hanging to long. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoyed!**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Sorry I kept you hanging this long. I guess it's safe to say you liked the last chapter. I know some of you weren't to happy with the way it ended but like I've asked, just trust us. Although...that doesn't mean it's gonna be smooth sailing from here on out either. I know this is a long chapter but there is a lot happening. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 26

Rachel drove through the streets, her tears still falling. She had stayed in Emily's driveway for nearly thirty minutes hoping the brunette would have second thoughts and invite her back inside but that never happened. She had also considered using her key and going back in and fighting for them but decided against it. As badly as she wanted to work it out she knew that letting herself in after Emily told her to leave would only make matters worse, not better. She couldn't believe the brunette had been living in the same situation she had. What were the odds of falling in love with someone who was also in the Witness Protection Program?

Her mind continued to drift over their conversation before it had turned south. Her girlfriend's name wasn't Emily, it was Alexandra. She was so used to calling her Emily that it was difficult to know her any other way. _'Alexandra.'_ She thought to herself while still crying. _'Alexandra and Olivia.'_ she tilted her head a little, their names went together at least. Whether they would still be together she didn't know. And the tears that had begun to subside began all over again.

Rachel hadn't been aware of where she was going so she was surprised when she found herself pulling up in front of Ina's house. As much as she wanted to go home and figure this out maybe talking to the older woman would help.

"Well isn't this a surprise!" Ina said opening the door. Her smile faltered though at the sight of the blonde in front of her. Rachel broke down again into tears. Ina pulled the sobbing woman into her arms and closed the door. "Rachel! Sweetheart, what's wrong?" she guided the blonde over to the sofa and held her as she continued to cry. She allowed Rachel to cry for a bit before trying again. "What's wrong?" then thinking of the only thing that could affect the blonde this much "Is it Emily? Is she okay?" at that a sob escaped the blonde. Ina held her and allowed her to cry, gently rocking her and whispering it would be okay.

While Rachel was crying over how her day had went, her tears were also from the comfort she was receiving. She could only recall a couple of times that Serena had held and comforted her like she was being comforted at the moment. She gratefully accepted the tissue she was offered and dried her eyes and blew her nose. She sat up a bit and looked the older woman in the eye, seeing nothing but concern reflected back at her. She lay her head back on the couch and stared at the ceiling "I blew it. I really blew it."

"With Emily?" Rachel nodded. "Well surely it can't be that bad. Why don't you tell me what happened."

Rachel sighed "It's a long story. I mean a really long story."

Ina smiled and squeezed the blonde's hand "I've got all day."

Rachel took a couple deep breaths before launching into her story. She was worried the older woman wouldn't believe her but every time she looked her in the eye while she saw shock and surprise, she also saw concern and empathy. Rachel was grateful the older woman remained quiet and allowed her to finish her story, as well as Emily's. After finishing up the events of the morning she sighed and waited.

Ina was quiet as she processed everything she had been told. She had always felt there was something the blonde was holding back but she had never pried. She wrapped her arms around Rachel and kissed the side of her head "I am so sorry you've had to go through this." she then pulled back and smiled "I hope this doesn't sound wrong but in a way I'm glad it did because I hate to think that I would've never met you."

At that Rachel laughed a little while more tears spilled over "I feel the same way."

Ina made them some tea and returned to the room and sat next to Rachel "So what makes you think you've blown it with Emily?"

"I lied to her for a week. I should've told her right off but I just couldn't. Even if I had waited and told her the next day I think she might have been mad but I think she would've understood. But no, I had to wait."

Ina placed a comforting hand on Rachel's leg. "I'm sure she just needs some time to calm down and think. She's needing to process what she's found out about her own situation but she also has to process what you've told her. Besides, I doubt she meant to get as mad as she did. Whether we mean to or not we often lash out at those we love most when we're scared. Just give her time."

Rachel shook her head "Time is the one thing we don't have. She's going back to New York, maybe tomorrow. I can't let her go without working this out." she ran her fingers through her hair "I'm scared I'm going to lose her."

Ina nodded "I understand but I do think you need to give her a little time. I'm not saying days, but let her have some time today to think and process. I'm not telling you to give up though. If you love her as much as I know you do you will fight for her and your relationship." She noticed the blonde looked unsure. "Don't give up. You've got to fight for her."

Rachel stayed with her friend until the early afternoon before finally going home. She found the older woman's company comforting, and if nothing else it kept her mind off the morning's events. She had checked her phone for messages, as well as her home phone, but still no word from the brunette. Rachel wanted to call Emily so badly but she talked herself out of it every time, afraid of being shut out. She poured herself a glass of wine and curled up on the couch as she tried to decide what to do.

Not that far away Emily was struggling herself. After Rachel left she caught herself going around the house double checking the locks on the doors and windows. For what felt like the hundredth time she peeked out the window to make sure the protective detail was still there. Every little noise made her jump, a slowly passing car had her convinced she'd been found. Nearly a year and a half after entering the program she suddenly felt like she did in those early days. Her mind was also on Rachel, or Olivia. She shook her head as she paced her bedroom, she still couldn't believe that she had not only met but fell in love with someone in the program. What she couldn't believe was that the blonde had lied to her for nearly a week. She understood Rachel's argument that she was afraid her story wouldn't be believable, she had felt the same way, but Rachel not telling her is what bothered her the most. It had hurt that Rachel didn't tell her right away, or felt that she wouldn't believe her. But now that she'd had time to calm down a little and process everything that had been said she was regretting how she'd allowed things to get out of hand. While she felt she was justified in being upset that Rachel hadn't told her right off she now wished she'd handled it differently.

Emily lay down on her bed that was still unmade. Noticing the shirt Rachel had slept in the night before sticking out from under the blonde's pillow she pulled it to her and inhaled her girlfriend's scent. Tears welled up in her eyes as she remembered the look of hurt on Rachel's face when she told her to get out. Her mind now drifted to the fact that she would probably be leaving for New York sometime the next day. She rolled over and laid her head on Rachel's pillow as she wondered if she would be able to straighten all this out before she left the blonde…possibly forever.

It was now early evening and Rachel was still curled on her couch. The only movement she had made was when she returned to the kitchen for another bottle of wine. She looked at the empty bottle sitting next to the now almost half empty bottle on her coffee table. As a kid she swore she wouldn't be like her mom and use alcohol as a way to drown her problems. By the time she uncorked the second bottle she was still telling herself she wasn't her mother, although she wasn't buying her own arguement. All throughout the evening she had started dialing Emily's number but never completed it. She had willed her phone to ring and it be the brunette but that didn't happen either.

As she poured yet another glass she heard Ina's voice echoing in her head, telling her to fight for them. She stood, slipping on her shoes and coat. She normally wouldn't drive after drinking as much as she had but she was sure she was sober enough. Grabbing her keys and purse she opened the door only to stop dead in her tracks. "Emily?" she whispered.

Emily stood on Rachel's porch nervously shifting from one foot to the other. She had been standing there for ten minutes trying to work up the nerve to ring the bell…that was after sitting in the driveway for nearly thirty. "Hi."

A range of emotions flooded Rachel's mind when she saw the brunette in front of her. Ranging from elation to fear she was leaving and came to say goodbye, to anger at how their morning had ended. Her eyes immediately darted around and was relieved to see the unmarked car sitting just over from her house. Knowing the situation Emily was in at the moment she grabbed her by the arm and pulled her inside. After locking the door she stepped back and faced the brunette "What are you doing here?"

"I had to come see you."

"Why were you just standing out there? Why didn't you use your key?" she asked while trying to remain calm.

Emily looked up with teary eyes "I didn't know if I would be welcome."

Rachel was still hurt, and even a little angry, over their fight that morning but at that moment her heart broke at the look in those blue eyes. "You're always welcome here. It's your home."

"I'm so sorry for the way I treated you earlier." Emily said as she began to break down.

Rachel pulled her into her arms and held her "It's okay."

Emily shook her head as she pulled back "No, it's not. I should've listened when you tried to apologize, and I never should've thrown you out."

"Look we're both at fault here. I shouldn't have hid the truth from you as long as I did."

Emily nodded as she wiped her tears "I would've believed you, you know."

"I know." Rachel guided them to the couch.

"I think that's one reason I got so mad. Not so much that you didn't tell me or that you were afraid to tell me, but that you thought that I wouldn't believe you. I love you with all my heart and yeah it might have sounded like an outrageous story, but I still would've believed you."

"I know, and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you right away. If I could go back to Monday afternoon and change all this I would."

"I know, but you can't, same as I can't go back to this morning and change what happened between us." She sighed as she glanced at the two wine bottles on the table and her heart broke to know that she'd driven the blonde to try and drink her problems away. "How about we both agree that we're both at fault for how this morning went, and try to figure this out together."

"I think that's a great idea." She began leaning in for a kiss "I really am sorry."

"So am I." Emily whispered before their lips met.

The kiss lasted for a while, both hoping they were able to pour all their love into it. When they parted Rachel took Emily's coat and tossed it over a nearby chair then turned to face the brunette "So we have a lot to talk about."

Emily gave her a sad smile "I guess we do."

"Any more word on when you're going back?"

Emily shook her head "All I know is sometime tomorrow. I'm still waiting to hear from Kelli, she's the Marshal handling my case."

Rachel knew what she wanted to say but wasn't sure it would be welcome. Emily also wanted to say something but was afraid of Rachel's reaction. Both were so nervous they blurted out at the same time.

"I'm coming with you."

"I want you to come with me."

Both chuckled at their outburst. "I'm sorry, you first." Emily said.

"I said, I'm coming with you. Knowing the danger you are in now I can't let you go, even if it's with the Marshal's. I don't trust them to protect you."

Emily grinned at the protective side of the blonde. After hearing her say this morning that she was a detective she now understood where that protectiveness came from. "That's good, because I want you to go with me."

"Wonder what the Marshal's will say?" then grinning "To hell with them, I'll book my own flight if I have to."

Emily laughed and kissed Rachel's cheek "I love you. Don't worry about the Marshal's though, I can be very persuasive when I need to be." She laid her arm on the back of the couch where Rachel's was and linked their fingers together. "So…your real name is Olivia?"

The blonde smiled at the sound of her name on Emily's lips "Yeah. My name is Olivia Benson. And yours is Alexandra?"

She nodded "Alexandra Cabot, Alex for short."

"So we're gonna do this now?" Olivia asked "Get everything out in the open?"

Alex nodded "Who knows what the next few days hold for me. I want to know everything there is to know about you, and I want to tell you everything about me."

Olivia bit her bottom lip as the thought of telling Alex everything about her scared her. How was she going to react to the fact her father was a rapist? She shook the thought from her mind, there would be no more secrets. "Okay. My name is Olivia Benson and I am an LAPD Detective with SVU. That is the Special Victims Unit. We handle sex crimes, child abuse, and elder abuse cases."

Alex nodded "I know what SVU is."

Olivia had a bit of a sinking feeling in her stomach. She hoped her gut was wrong about why Alex knew what SVU stood for. "How did you know?"

At that Alex smiled "Well like I said this morning I was an Assistant District Attorney in New York, and for three years I was the prosecutor for SVU. It was an SVU case that landed me in the Program."

Olivia's eyes went wide "You're kidding!" Alex shook her head no. "So an SVU Detective and an SVU ADA get put into the Witness Protection Program, meet and fall in love." She laughed "You can't make this stuff up."

Alex laughed as well "I like to think that we were meant to meet, that we were meant to be."

"I like the way you think." They were quiet for a minute before Olivia blew out a breath "So, you want my story." Alex nodded. _'No more lies'_ Olivia said to herself. "Well, here goes." She launched into a shortened version of her life story; the alcoholic mother, difficult childhood, then onto joining the academy and later SVU. She had left out her paternity, wanting to get through the rest of her story first. She looked the brunette in the eye "I left out the part about my father because I don't know him. In fact, the only thing I know about him is that he's the man who raped my mother." She couldn't bring herself to look Alex in the eye, there'd been too many times she'd seen disgust or fear reflected back at her after telling her story. When she felt her hand being squeezed she looked up and saw nothing but love and concern in those beautiful blue eyes.

"I'm so sorry that happened to her, and you. Thank you for telling me."

"You're not afraid of me?"

Alex's eyes went wide "Afraid? Of you? Never! Besides I've been sleeping with you for how long now? Over a year. Not once have you given me reason to be afraid of you. If anything you have been the most caring lover I've ever been with." she threw her arms around the blonde and pulled her close "I feel safer with you than anyone else in the world."

Olivia pulled back and smiled "Enough about me now, I want to know about you."

Alex blew out a breath as she launched into a brief version of her life story. It went well until she came to the day a year before when her mom had passed away. Now that she was able to tell the truth she felt the grief all over again. She broke down for the second time that night and collapsed into Olivia's arms.

"Oh baby." Olivia said as she pulled the brunette into her arms. "I'm so sorry." She whispered over and over as she held the younger woman. When she felt Alex's sobs begin to subside she pulled back "I'll understand if you don't want to answer but, is that why you took off those few days last year?"

Alex nodded as she continued to wipe her tears "I'm so sorry I lied to you about it but you understand why I couldn't tell you. That's why I said it was a woman I considered a mother." A fresh round of tears escaped now "It killed me to refer to her as someone who was like a mother to me but I was so scared that I'd be taken away from you if I told."

"I understand. I've been so scared all along that I'd slip up or that someone would find out where I was and I'd have to leave you too." They were quiet for a minute as everything sunk in "So where were you those few days you were gone?"

"I spent it alone in a hotel room."

Olivia's heart broke at the thought of her girlfriend grieving her mother alone. "I wish I could've been there for you."

At that Alex smiled faintly "I wish you could've been too, but I'm kinda glad you didn't see me. I spent the days, and nights, getting drunk and reading her obituary I printed from online over and over again." they grew quiet again as both absorbed what they'd been told. Granted they were far from knowing everything there was to know about one another but they felt they had made a small start.

The quiet was interrupted by Alex's cell phone ringing. It startled her and caused her to jump. Seeing a familiar number she took a shaky breath and answered "Hello?"

"Where are you?" came Kelli's slightly worried voice "I just pulled into your driveway and you're not here."

She smiled at the blonde sitting next to her "I'm at my girlfriend's."

"I need to see you now. I have to make sure you are safe."

Alex squeezed Olivia's hand "Trust me, I'm safe. If you need to see me you'll have to come here." She quickly gave the Marshal directions from her home to Olivia's and hung up. "I hope it's okay she's coming here."

"I'd rather her come here than you have to go out again." More than once since entering the program she'd wished she had her gun, but never as much as she did now. She turned a few lights on now that it was growing considerably darker outside, while closing all the curtains.

A few minutes later they heard a car pull up in front of the house. Alex stood to open the door but Olivia placed a hand on her arm and pulled her back. When the doorbell rang Olivia turned the porch light on and peeked through the window beside the door "Who is it?"

"US Marshal." The woman replied.

Alex nodded when she recognized the voice but it still wasn't good enough for the blonde. Olivia cautiously opened the door "May I see your ID?"

The younger woman sighed as she reached for her pocket "Emily is expecting me."

Olivia stood a little straighter "Either I see your ID or you don't come in."

Alex turned her head and smirked while laying a comforting hand on Olivia's shoulder.

Olivia took the ID in her hands and examined it before opening the door wider and allowing the Marshal in. She motioned to a chair while taking a seat next to Alex on the couch. Sensing the brunette had grown tense she wrapped her arm around Alex's waist and gave her side a gentle squeeze.

"So Emily."

"Alex." Alex said firmly.

Kelli's eyes widened slightly "Um…"

Alex nodded her head as she looked to Olivia "She knows." Seeing the other woman about to speak she spoke again "I told her this morning after my visit from Hammond and Murphy. I trust her with my life, I had to tell her." sensing a possible argument she continued "Trust me she's not gonna sell me out. If you knew her you would understand why she won't."

"Well considering she's been hiding in the program as well I doubt she would sell you out." she had to bite her jaw to keep from laughing at the look she was receiving from both women. "What? You thought I didn't know? When you started mentioning the same name more than once when I checked in on you I did a little research. It didn't take long to find out who she was." She looked to Olivia "By the way, Tyler wasn't slipping either, he figured it out about the same time I did."

The couple looked at one and shook their heads. Neither had ever considered that their handlers would've figured out that the other was in the program. "Okay, well…" Alex started as she tried to regain her train of thought. "So what happens now?"

"Well first thing in the morning you're on a flight back to New York."

Alex nodded "I need to notify my boss."

"No. The fewer people know the better off. You lucked out you got to tell her." she nodded toward Olivia "If I had showed up this morning instead of Hammond you would already be back in the city." Seeing the look in the brunette's eyes she continued "Look I'm not trying to be a bitch or anything but your safety is my primary concern."

Alex wanted to fight but she knew she needed to pick her battles. She nodded while planning to secretly call her boss later once she was alone.

"So when do we leave?" Olivia asked.

"I'm sorry?"

"What time is our flight tomorrow?"

Kelli sat forward in her chair "I'm sorry if there's been a misunderstanding but you're not coming with us."

"Like hell."

Alex placed her hand on Olivia's thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze "I want her to come with me."

"Sorry but that can't happen. You are going back to testify, there will be a target on your back the moment you step off that plane."

"Yes, and I want her there with me."

"Look, Alex."

"No you look." She felt Olivia hold her close in an attempt to calm her "Either she goes with me or I don't go and instead I leave the program."

At that both women looked at her with a surprised look.

"You can't do that." Kelli said.

"You'll be killed." Olivia replied.

Alex shrugged her shoulders "That's the deal. I gave up my life, my home, my family all to stay alive. I appreciate what you have done for me so far, but I'm not budging on this. Either she goes with me or it's over."

Kelli ran her hands over her face, she had forgotten how much of a pain the attorney could be. "Alright, fine. But here's the deal." She said looking both in the eye, particularly Olivia "You do what you're told."

Both women nodded in agreement, grateful they had won this battle. "Where are you staying?" Alex finally asked.

"Wherever you are. You're not leaving my sight."

Alex slumped a bit in the blonde's arms. She had hoped for a night alone, it could possibly be the last night they have alone for a while…maybe forever. She looked to Olivia who nodded it was okay. "I'm staying here tonight. You'll have to sleep on the couch though, we don't have a bed in the guest room yet." Both she and Olivia felt a small pang of sadness as they thought about the plans they had for the future, and whether or not those plans would ever happen now.

The three shared a relatively quiet dinner, mostly small talk about generic topics. Alex caught herself trying to get used to being called Alex again when Kelli was addressing her. It was also a stuttered filled evening as she and Olivia tried to get used to calling one another Alex and Olivia as opposed to Emily and Rachel. Both chuckling as they would catch themselves saying, or answering to, the wrong name.

Later while Olivia was gathering a sheet and blanket for Kelli to sleep on that night Alex approached the Marshal with a concern. "What about my Dad?"

Kelli turned from where she was going through her bag "What about him?"

"Does he know I'm alive?"

"At the moment, no."

Alex wiped a tear from her eye "We both know once I enter that courthouse it'll go like wildfire that I'm alive. I don't want him finding out from some newspaper, or television station, or someone in the courthouse or DA's office who wants to say they were the one to break the news to my Dad that I was actually alive."

Kelli nodded in understanding. "I've been working on that."

"I don't want him told over the phone either." She suddenly blurted out. Her Dad had always been healthy but so had her Mom. She was terrified of something happening to him as well.

"He won't be. I've got a couple people from our office in the city who will be heading out to visit him tomorrow morning. It will be a Marshal as well as a counselor. Both of these people were in contact with your parents after your 'death' to make sure they were safe as well as making sure they were okay."

"Thank you." Alex said as she breathed a slight sigh of relief. She smiled when Olivia entered the room and lightly brushed against her, the touch alone helping calm her. "Will I…um…will I be able to see him?"

Kelli gave her a sympathetic smile "I won't make any promises but I'll try to make it happen."

At that the brunette began to cry "Thank you."

Once they were in bed both women lay silently staring at the ceiling as they thought about everything that had happened that day. Olivia reached between them and linked their fingers together, pulling Alex's hand to her lips and placing a kiss to the back of it. "Are you okay?"

Alex ran her hand through her hair "Yeah." Then feeling tears "I don't know."

They simultaneously rolled toward one another and Olivia wrapped her arm around the younger woman "Oh Em-Alex." the slip earning a chuckle from the brunette "It's gonna be okay." Although she had no idea if that was true or not.

"You don't know that."

Olivia nodded "No I don't, but I do know that I'm not leaving your side for a second." She said before placing a gentle kiss to Alex's forehead.

Alex immediately felt her body begin to relax. "You're the only thing keeping me together at the moment."

"We're gonna get through this." Olivia whispered.

Alex could only nod. As much as she wanted to believe her girlfriend's words she had no idea what was going to happen over the next few days and weeks. She just prayed they would still be together when it was over. She opened her eyes and looked into the eyes looking back at her "I love you Olivia."

Olivia choked up at hearing Alex say she loved her, using her real name "I love you too Alex." she whispered before closing her eyes "I'll love you forever."


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

After a mostly sleepless night Olivia rose first that morning. She had lay awake for a bit watching the brunette sleep before finally getting up. Alex had tossed and turned more than usual in her sleep, Olivia doing her best to hold and comfort her especially when she began to talk. Hearing Alex whimper along with saying the names Nick and Brian let her know that her girlfriend was dreaming about the night she was shot. Deciding if they were going to make their flight she needed to get moving, Olivia placed a soft kiss to Alex's forehead then climbed from the bed. The small smile she received from a slumbering Emily helped to slightly ease her already rattled nerves.

While in the shower Olivia's mind began to wander over what the next few days held for them. She had woke several times throughout the night and thought about what their future held. Her biggest worry was would they even still be together in a few days' time. What if Alex was to remain in the program but she was free? Would she be allowed to go with Alex? If Alex was allowed to leave the program after this where would they go? She wanted to go back to LA, her job and her friends, but what if Alex didn't want to go to LA? If Alex wanted them to live in New York would she be ready to give up everything in LA to make the move? She shrugged as she realized she'd already done that once, if it meant staying with Alex she would do it again. Her mind now turned to the one thing she didn't want to consider.

'_What if there's someone waiting for her back in New York?'_ Olivia thought to herself. _'What if she's allowed to leave the program and decides she wants to get back with this person? What if this was just a way to not be lonely while she was in the program and she decides she doesn't want to be with me anymore?' _Olivia ran her fingers through her hair and she tried to shake those thoughts from her mind. _'She wouldn't do that, she loves me….I know she does.' _

Alex woke to find herself alone in bed, the sound of the shower tempting her to join the blonde but she knew they didn't have time for that this morning. She got up and quietly made her way to the kitchen to start the coffee. While leaning against the counter her mind drifted over the last eighteen hours or so and how quickly their world had changed. She was nervous about returning to the city but at the same time the tough as nails prosecutor felt ready. She wanted to nail Liam Connors, she wanted him to pay for what he did to her…what he stole from her.

Hearing footsteps in the hallway she shook the thoughts from her mind. She began smiling though at the sight of the blonde approaching her. "Morning."

Olivia smiled as she stepped close, their bodies touching "Morning." She replied before leaning in for a good morning kiss. When their lips parted she was about to pull back but felt Alex's hands wrap around her waist and keep her where she was. Olivia slipped her hands under Alex's shirt and began lightly running her fingers up and down her sides "How are you?"

"Tired."

Olivia nodded "I know the feeling."

They stood quietly for a bit, looking into one another's eyes and just breathing. Both trying to draw strength from the other. "You called me Emily last night." Alex finally whispered.

"Huh?"

She smiled, having never told the blonde of her sleep whispering. "You called me Emily in your sleep. I've never told you but it's something you do in your sleep, you whisper 'Emily'."

Olivia smiled and nodded "Huh. Never knew I was a sleep talker." She grinned "You're gonna have to cut me some slack though, I'm not even used to calling you Alex yet let alone calling you Alex in my sleep."

Alex grinned "I'll let you slide for now." Then leaning in for another kiss "I can't wait to hear you whisper 'Alex' in your sleep though."

Hearing Kelli up and about in the living room the mood shifted "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah." Alex nodded "I'm gonna get in the shower."

Alex stood in front of the mirror after her shower. She had told Olivia she was okay, but the truth was her nerves were a wreck. She took deep breaths as she willed her body to quit shaking. _'You can do this.' _she thought. _'Olivia is going with you, it's gonna be okay.' _Feeling a pair of familiar arms sliding around her waist Alex smiled. "How did you know I was thinking about you?"

Olivia placed a light kiss to Alex's bare shoulder before meeting her eyes in the mirror "Because I have a connection with you I've never shared with anyone before." then grinning as she looked down Alex's front "Plus you know I can't pass up seeing you in nothing but a towel."

Alex chuckled as she placed her hands over Olivia's "If you had your way I would only wear a towel, or less, all the time."

Olivia kissed her neck again "If I had my way I'd take you right here on the sink."

Alex turned, wrapping her arms around Olivia's waist while Olivia's went around her neck "Unfortunately we don't have time for that this morning." She wished they did though.

Olivia looked into her eyes, wishing she could get a read on what the brunette was feeling "I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine."

The slight quiver in her voice gave her away though. Olivia tilted her head to meet Alex's downward gaze "Alex?" she pulled her closer "Baby, are you sure?"

Alex looked into the eyes she loved so much "I'm scared." she whispered.

"Oh baby." Olivia whispered as she held her tight. She could feel the slight shaking in the brunette's body and she knew Alex was struggling not to cry. "It's gonna be okay. I'm going to be by your side the entire time."

"I don't know what I'd do without you." Alex whispered.

Olivia pulled back and looked her in the eye "We're in this together." she grinned a bit "I'm a cop, remember?" this caused Alex to smile a bit as well. "I'll protect you no matter what." Her face turning serious "I'll take a bullet before you do."

"That's what I'm afraid of." Alex said as a few tears slid down her cheeks.

Olivia lightly cupped Alex's face and gently wiped her tears with her thumbs. "That's not going to happen though. We're both going to be fine. We'll get through this together and then see what the future holds for us."

They left Olivia's while it was still dark and headed to Alex's house long enough for her to pack a bag. Olivia took the keys to Alex's car as she made her way to the driver's side.

"What are you doing?" Kelli asked.

Olivia's expression said it should be obvious "We're going to Alex's."

"Yeah, in my car." Kelli replied.

Olivia walked around to the other side of the car to avoid raising their voices. "We're gonna leave her car there. We'll ride with you to the airport."

"Alex needs to be with me. You can both ride in my car."

"I can protect her." Olivia said stepping closer.

"With all due respect Ms. Benson-"

"It's Detective." Olivia said cutting her off.

Kelli sighed, realizing she may have run across someone who was more stubborn than Alex "I'm sorry, Detective, but no offense…you couldn't protect yourself."

Olivia stepped right into the younger woman's face, resisting the urge to slam her against the car. "Excuse me?"

Alex quickly stepped in, having never seen this side of the blonde "That's enough!" her voice a harsh whisper. She looked between the two women who had barely looked at her out of the corner of their eyes "You're not getting into a pissing contest over me." she put her hand on Olivia's arm and pulled her back then looked at the Marshal. "Olivia will drive me back to my place and you can follow." She climbed into the passenger seat of her car and closed the door effectively ending the argument.

Olivia and Kelli gave one another a last look before separating. As Olivia drove to Alex's, feeling the tension radiating off her girlfriend, she imagined what it must be like to see her in the courtroom. She grinned to herself as she pitied the defense attorneys who had gone up against the brunette. She reached over and took Alex's hand in hers "I'm sorry."

"Hmm?"

"For the way I acted back there. I shouldn't have lost my temper."

Alex squeezed the blonde's hand "It's okay. What she said pissed me off too, but I don't want you two fighting over me." As Olivia pulled up in front of the house Alex leaned over and kissed her lightly "I trust you to protect me more than anyone."

Once all three women were inside the house Alex turned to face the other two. "Here's the deal. We're going to be spending a lot of time with each other for the foreseeable future, you two are going to have to get along." She took a moment to look both women in the eye "I know there's always been a thing between the Feds and cops, and I know you are both only concerned for my safety, but I will not have you two having a 'mine is bigger' contest when it comes to who is better suited to protect me. Got it?"

Both women nodded while glancing down at the floor.

Alex ran her fingers through her hair then looked to her girlfriend "Come help me pack?"

Upstairs Olivia pulled Alex's suitcase from the closet while Alex hurriedly pulled clothes from drawers and the closet. While Olivia packed Alex slipped into her bathroom and called Janet. She hated waking her friend so early but she needed to say goodbye. When she emerged from the bathroom she was wiping tears from her eyes. Seeing the look of concern from Olivia she held up her hand "I'm okay."

"How'd she take it?"

Alex began gathering her things from the bathroom "Well, once she got completely awake and I repeated the story again she was shocked. She finally believed me, I think. I told her to talk to Ina if she needed any more answers." She looked around the room and her eyes fell on the picture on her bedside table.

"I like that picture of us." Olivia said.

"It's my favorite." Alex said picking up the frame. She unzipped her suitcase and slipped the frame between two sweaters. She gave Olivia a small smile "Just in case."

Downstairs Kelli was on the phone while Alex made one last pass through the house. When finished she walked over to where Olivia was waiting next to the door. She took the blonde's hand and squeezed it "I hated this house when I arrived here. It wasn't my home, my city…it wasn't my life." she turned to face Olivia, tears welling up in her eyes "And then I met you." Tears now began forming in Olivia's as well. "I began to realize that I would be okay here, because you are my home…you are my life."

Olivia sat down the suitcase she was holding and engulfed her girlfriend in a hug "You're my everything Alex."

"Ladies?" Both pulled back to see Kelli looking at them. "We need to go now to make our flight."

Olivia picked up the suitcase, took Alex's hand in her free one and stepped just outside the door. Alex took one last look around and took a deep breath before closing the door on this part of her life.

At the airport both were surprised to see they were taking a private jet. Easier than going through security plus all the paperwork for her to fly with her weapon Kelli explained. In addition it would make their arrival and departure from the airport in the city quicker and safer for Alex.

"I love seeing my tax dollars at work." Olivia said under her breath, earning her an elbow in the ribs from Alex…and a little grin.

"So, how long before we're back in the city?" Alex asked as the plane taxied on the runway.

"Barring any issues it should be about two and a half hours. The pilot said it looks like good weather all the way."

"What about Murphy and Hammond?"

"They caught a commercial flight about an hour ago. They'll be waiting on us when we arrive."

Feeling the plane accelerate all three women settled back into their seats. Alex reached over and grabbed Olivia's hand, relaxing a bit when she felt the blonde lace their fingers together. Olivia smiled and kissed the back of her hand "Me and you."

Alex smiled "Me and you." She glanced over the blonde to look out the window as the lights of Madison, and their life, began to fade below them.

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**A/N: Thank you all for your continued support. So glad you liked the last chapter. Yes, everything is out in the open now but it doesn't mean it's smooth sailing from here on out. I do plan on following canon for the most part but will be working in my own little changes. This chapter was more of a transitioning chapter much like the early chapters were when both ladies entered the program. Next up: NYC! Hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think.**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: Thank you all for your reviews of the last chapter. I'm sure you expected more but we're getting there. I will warn you, you might want to have a few tissues close by for this chapter. I can't wait to know what you think. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 28

As the plane began its final approach into LaGuardia Olivia couldn't take her eyes off the city sprawled out below them. She wished she had packed her camera but considering how their last two days had been it was one of the furthest things from her mind. She remembered what LA looked like from the air and she had a momentary pang in her heart for her home, but at the same time she would rather be here than anywhere.

As nervous as she was Alex couldn't help but smile as she watched Olivia. A permanent grin had been plastered on her face ever since they had started their approach and she got her first glimpse of the New York City skyline. The flight had been uneventful; Alex had gotten up and paced a time or two, but every time she thought she was about to lose it Olivia seemed to know and would envelope her in a hug. She leaned over the blonde and looked out at her home for the first time in over a year.

Olivia turned when she felt Alex's body leaning against her own. "It's more amazing than I thought it'd be."

"New York is a pretty amazing place." Her voice trailed off as she realized she was finally home.

Olivia took Alex's hand, feeling a slight tremble "Are you okay?"

Alex sighed "Yeah. I think it just finally sunk in that I'm home." she took a deep breath and cleared her mind, a smile spreading across her face "I can't believe you've never been to New York!"

Olivia tilted her head "Yeah, just like I can't believe you've never been to California."

"Seriously though, have you ever been out of California?"

"Yes." Olivia said with mock defensiveness. "I've been to Oregon and Washington State."

"Okay, have you ever been off the West Coast?"

"If you count Vegas."

Alex shook her head "I know you get vacation time, why don't you travel more?"

Olivia shrugged. "Well, you know about my childhood, we definitely didn't take the typical summer vacations. Then once I started working and began earning vacation time I was so into my work that I just never took it." she gave the brunette a genuine smile "Plus, I never had anyone I wanted to really travel with."

Alex grinned as she thought back on the trips they had taken together. "How much time do you have saved up?"

Olivia gave her a sheepish grin "Let's just say I could've been paid for most of my time in the program."

Alex's eyes widened "Damn!" then grinning "And I thought I was bad for not taking time off."

When the plane finally came to a stop Alex took a steadying breath before she stood. She reached out and took Olivia's hand "Thank you."

Olivia smiled while squeezing the brunette's hand "I'm right behind you."

They stepped off the plane and were quickly ushered into a waiting black suburban. Their bags were placed in the trunk and Kelli climbed in with them just before the SUV took off. As they left the airport Alex became aware they were not headed in the direction of the city. She wasn't as familiar with Queens as she was Manhattan but she had been to the airport enough to know they were headed in the wrong direction. "Where are we going?"

Hammond turned around from the passenger seat, surprising the brunette since she hadn't realized he was there "Safe house."

"Why not somewhere in the city?"

"We'll move you there tomorrow." Kelli replied. "Less chance you'll be seen this way. You know as well as I do once we sneak you into the DA's office tomorrow it'll go like wildfire that you're alive."

"The DA's office?" Alex asked with wide eyes. "I thought I'd be going to the courthouse."

"You'll be going there first and then we'll head over to the courthouse. Don't worry, we're taking every precaution necessary to keep your identity safe until you enter the courtroom."

Alex nodded, she had worked with witness who were in protective custody so she knew what was in store for her. They pulled into the driveway of a small house that sat back from the street a bit with a high hedge on one side and a fence on the other. The suburban pulled into the garage and they got out and made their way inside. After taking a moment to get settled Alex stared out the window "Can I go out and walk around a bit?"

"It's best you stay inside."

"It's the backyard, I'm not asking if I can walk up and down the street! No one can see me from either side."

"I've let you have your way on a few things I probably shouldn't have but it's not safe and now that you're back in the city I'm not risking it."

Alex huffed as she stormed up the stairs toward the bedroom she and Olivia would share that night "Am I allowed to at least open the blinds, or are you afraid a bird might see me?"

"Told ya she was a pain in the ass." Hammond said as he and Kelli exchanged a look.

Olivia started toward the stairs "Bastard." She said as she looked at the DEA agent as she passed by. Upstairs she found Alex sitting on the edge of the bed with her head in her hands. "Baby?"

"Did I make a mistake?" she asked, her voice slightly muffled by her hands. "Should I have just stayed in Wisconsin?" she asked while facing the blonde.

Olivia slipped an arm around her waist and pulled her to her "I don't think you would've been able to do that. The prosecutor in you wouldn't have allowed it."

"Ladies?" Kelli knocked on the door before entering "We're going to get some food, is there anything you would like?"

Both were hungry since they hadn't ate that morning but at the same time Alex was afraid to eat based on how nervous she was. "Just some pancakes."

Olivia nodded "Same for me."

While waiting for Hammond to return Kelli went over with Alex what to expect over the next few days. She wasn't worried about testifying, she wasn't worried about being in the courtroom again although it did make her slightly anxious, what she was worried about was seeing old friends. She figured she would at least see Nick and Brian again, whether they were still with SVU or not, since they were witnesses to the shooting. While she had relived that night over and over again in her mind and in her dreams, she wasn't sure what those memories would be like when she saw the two men again.

When Hammond returned the group ate in relative silence. He had picked up a couple newspapers for Alex to read, but only after making sure there was no mention of the Connors trial in them. Alex had to admit that enjoying a cup of coffee while reading The Ledger and The Times did make her feel a little more at ease. Hammond had kept his distance from both women and they were pretty sure Kelli had something to do with that.

It was just past noon, Olivia and Alex were laying on the bed upstairs while a mindless program played on the television. Alex kept watching the blonde from the corner of her eye, she knew Olivia was worried about her but there was something else she couldn't quite place. She rolled onto her side and propped herself up on her elbow "What's wrong?"

"Hmm?"

She turned the television off and waited for Olivia to face her "Something is bothering you and I don't think it's this whole mess."

"I'm fine, really."

"Rach-Olivia." both chuckled at her slip "Please tell me."

Olivia stared at the ceiling, unable to face the brunette as she asked her question "Is there someone waiting here for you to come back?"

"What?" Alex was confused.

The blonde sighed "I mean is there a significant other waiting for you to return?" she finally chanced a look out of the corner of her eye and saw the look of confusion and maybe even a little anger in her eyes. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I shouldn't have asked that! I just couldn't help it."

"Do you really think that if I had a boyfriend or girlfriend waiting for me that I would've asked you to come with me? Do you think I'd drag you halfway across the country just to introduce you to someone and leave you on the curb?"

"I'm sorry. Okay? I never should've asked." Olivia said as she started to get up.

Alex reached out and grabbed her arm preventing her from leaving the bed. She pulled Olivia onto her back then rose up and leaned over her so she could look her in the eye "Are you seriously worried about this?"

"No." Olivia said while darting her eyes. She felt Alex's hand on her cheek urging her to look at her. "It did cross my mind a time or two last night and this morning."

Alex felt her anger dissipating as she realized she might feel the same way if the situation was reversed. Actually after finding out the truth about one another she did wonder if Olivia had someone waiting for her in LA. "Olivia I love you, you know that." Olivia nodded. Alex placed her hand over Olivia's heart "And I hope you can feel it too." Again the blonde nodded. "There is no one waiting here for me." she then thought of Abbie. "I was seeing someone when I left, not seriously, I was actually getting ready to end it when this happened. I told her to move on and hopefully she did."

"And if she didn't?"

Alex leaned in for a kiss, pouring every ounce of love she had for the blonde into it. "She's gonna have to, because you're it for me."

Olivia pulled her back for a kiss "I'm so sorry I even doubted you."

After a few minutes Alex settled back onto her side "Now, turnabout is fair play…is there someone in LA?"

Olivia chuckled "No. Like you I was seeing someone, nothing serious, but I told her to move on. I know she won't be waiting for me."

"She's not pining away for her lost love?"

Olivia laughed now "I doubt it. We started dating because we worked together and we were friends. Turns out we were better suited to be friends than lovers. I think we both knew it wasn't going anywhere, it was just nice to have the company."

"Did you sleep with her?"

"No. Did you?"

"No."

They were quiet for a bit "Was she a cop too?" Alex asked.

Olivia grinned "No, she was the district attorney who prosecuted our cases."

Alex laughed loudly "So you have a type huh? Do you always date lawyers?"

"Actually no, she was the first one I dated." Then rolling so their lips were inches apart "And you're gonna be my last." The kiss was slow and loving. Alex had just felt Olivia's tongue slip into her mouth when there was a knock at their door "Dammit!"

Olivia chuckled as she pulled back "Come in."

Kelli at least had the good graces to blush when she entered the room "Sorry to bother you but can you come downstairs?"

As they walked down the last couple steps Alex was laughing over Olivia stumbling and nearly falling when she climbed off the bed. When she looked up though she gasped as her hand flew to cover her mouth. Olivia heard the gasp and looked to see what had caused it.

"Daddy!" Alex whispered before running across the room and wrapping her arms around her father.

The look of shock, as well as the tears streaming down his face, was enough to tell Olivia that this man was Alex's father. If not, the same blue eyes were a dead giveaway. There was another man, with a beard and reddish hair standing next to Mr. Cabot when they entered the room, but now it was just the three of them. Olivia realized the others had left the room to give father and daughter their privacy.

"Oh Alex." Mr. Cabot cried as he held his daughter. When he first saw his little girl enter the room he nearly fell over. Luckily Lt. Murphy was standing next to him and held his arm for support. He pulled back and looked her in the eye then hugged her again "I still can't believe you're here, that you're alive."

Alex pulled back "I'm so sorry Daddy, I'm so sorry you had to go through this. That you spent all this time thinking I was dead." Then choking on her words "That Mom died thinking I was dead."

A fresh round of tears escaped his eyes. "Oh Pumpkin, you can't blame yourself for that." he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and dried his eyes. "I used to catch her outside at night, regardless of how cold it was, and she'd be looking at the sky. Remember how you two used to like to do that when you were little?" Alex nodded. "I used to think it was just her needing some privacy but one night it was very cold so I went out and asked what she was doing. She just smiled." Alex smiled at the memory of her Mom's smile. He smiled too "That's the one, right there." He cleared his throat "She smiled and told me that she was 'talking to Alex'." he took a deep breath "The night before she died I took her a cup of tea. She was smiling and said 'Our little Allie is okay. I know it deep down Jamie, our little girl is okay."

"I miss her so much." Alex sighed.

"I know sweetheart, I miss her too."

Alex grabbed a tissue from the box that had been thoughtfully left on the coffee table. When she caught sight of Olivia crying off to the side she held her hand out to the blonde, which Olivia crossed the room and took. She handed a tissue to the blonde then squeezing her hand turned back to her Father. "Daddy, this is Olivia Benson," her eyes now sparkling "My girlfriend. Olivia this is my Dad, James Cabot."

Olivia was nervous but she knew Alex wouldn't have introduced them the way she did if her Dad wouldn't be okay with it. "It's nice to meet you sir."

James reached out to shake her hand "It's a pleasure to meet you too Olivia. I take it you two met while you were away?"

"We did." Alex said as all three took a seat on the couch, Alex sitting in the middle. "In a weird twist of fate." Alex said with a grin as she looked to the blonde beside her.

"I want to hear it all." James said as he turned to better face his daughter "I've missed over a year of your life, don't skip a thing."

As Alex told her Dad everything that had happened over the last year all three shed a few tears, especially when Alex mentioned how lonely she was in those early days. The smiles returned though when Olivia entered the story. James shook his head more than once when Olivia explained how she came to be in Wisconsin as well.

"Sounds like you two were meant to find each other."

"That's what we believe." Alex said, turning and smiling at the blonde. She faced her Dad again "I don't know if the Marshal's will allow it but…I want to go see Mom."

James nodded while tearing up a bit, then ran a hand over his face "Shit."

"What?"

He gave Alex a sympathetic look "She's buried right next to you."

"Oh." Alex said as she leaned back against the couch. She felt Olivia squeeze her hand while her free arm slipped around her shoulders.

"Are you okay?" the blonde whispered.

Alex nodded. "Where…where am I buried?"

"Alex," James shook his head "I don't know if this is something we really need to discuss."

"I want to know Dad, please."

He folded and twisted the handkerchief in his hands "At Riverside Gardens. Do you remember it?" Alex nodded. "You're both up on a bit of a hill that overlooks the river. It's very beautiful and very peaceful. Every Sunday she would bring you flowers." He was crying again now, all three were "When she died I kept up the tradition and brought you both flowers. Lillis or tulips for you and daisies or carnations for her." he leaned over Alex toward Olivia and in a stage whisper said "She hates roses."

Olivia nodded while both women laughed "She already figured that out Dad."

James began to laugh a bit now too. "I remember your Mom and I arriving for your wake and there were so many beautiful flowers, and tons of roses." He shed a few tears but continued to laugh "It was the first time I saw your Mom crack a smile in days. She looked at me and said 'Can't you just hear Alex if she saw all these roses?'"

They talked for a while longer, James asking Olivia questions, the blonde carefully leaving out some parts of her past. He nodded to the rings on their fingers "So, is there something you two need to tell me?"

Olivia suddenly looked nervous and tried to speak but couldn't seem to get her words out. Alex took pity on her and pat her thigh "They were just Christmas presents to each other Dad. I will tell you though that we have committed to one another and were actually in the process of moving in together when this happened."

James was quiet for a moment "I want to be in the courtroom tomorrow."

"I'd rather you weren't." he looked surprised and a little hurt. Alex placed her hand on his arm "It's not that I don't want you there Dad, it's that I'm afraid someone from the cartel will see you."

"Alex, if they wanted to find out who I was they could've done that when you died. That bastard tried to kill you, I want to be there when he's found guilty." His tone had taken on a harder edge by this point.

Alex nodded "Okay."

They ordered pizza in for lunch and this time the discussions were a little livelier. Alex introduced Olivia to Lt. Murphy and was happy to see the two hit it off so well. Later in the evening James regretfully said goodbye to his daughter. Neither wanted to let go from their embrace but Alex knew he needed to go. "I'll see you tomorrow morning Pumpkin."

Alex blushed slightly at her nickname but nodded "I'll see you in the morning."

He stepped over to Olivia but instead of shaking her hand he pulled her in for a hug. Alex grinned as she watched the two people she loved most in the world. Her biggest fear had been they wouldn't get along, it appeared that couldn't be further from the truth. When he pulled back James took Olivia's left hand and lightly tapped her ring while leaning in "I want to be the first to know when there is something to tell." He pulled back and pat her hand with his "You already have my blessing."

Alex overheard what was being said but pretended she didn't. She knew many would've said she didn't need her Dad's blessing but she was grateful for it. It meant they had his support, and other than Olivia there was no one else's support she'd rather have.

"Take care of my little girl Olivia."

"I will sir, I promise."

He hugged Alex one more time "Don't let her get away."

Alex smiled brightly "I have no intention of letting that happen."

Once he was gone Alex turned into the blonde's embrace and dissolved into tears.

As the evening progressed the visit from Alex's Dad seemed to help calm the brunette's nerves. She talked a little more openly and was laughing easier. Hammond left, promising to return the next morning, and was replaced by two Marshal's.

The pair, a male and female, were going to take the night shift while Kelli, Alex and Olivia slept. They also found out there would be a protective detail in an unmarked car just across the street.

That night as they climbed into bed Olivia was taken by surprise when Alex pushed her onto her back and rested her upper half of her body on hers. "Alex?"

Alex kissed her gently "As much as I want to make love to you tonight I don't think that would be such a good idea since there are two Marshal's downstairs who are wide awake."

Olivia laughed "Yeah, especially considering the living room is right under this one."

Alex kissed her again "I don't think a little making out would hurt though, would it?"

Olivia wrapped her arms around Alex's body and pulled her closer "Wouldn't hurt a bit." They kissed again, more passionately this time "Besides, I haven't made out with Alex yet."

Alex grinned as she slipped her hand under Olivia's shirt and traced circles on her side "And I've been dying to make out with Olivia."

Their make out session lasted longer than they thought it would, but neither complained. It was loving and passionate, it felt like home. The touches, kisses, and words of love that were whispered were enough to erase from their minds, albeit temporarily, of what they were facing the next morning. When they finally stopped Alex rolled onto her side and pulled Olivia's arm around her waist, the blonde snuggling up close behind her. It was the first restful night's sleep they'd had in a week.


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews as well as the continued follows and favorites. If you've seen the episode 'Ghost' then parts of this chapter will be familiar, but with a few twists. We own nothing except the story and our characters, no infringement intended. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 29

Monday morning Alex woke to the feel of Olivia's lips on her neck. "Mmm, good morning."

"Good morning." Olivia whispered in her ear then lightly trailing her lips back down Alex's neck, her hand slipping under the brunette's shirt and lightly caressing her stomach.

"Mmm…Olivia, baby, as much as I'm enjoying this, have you forgotten the other people in this house?"

"No, just thought it would be a good way to wake up today." Olivia said as her lips finally met Alex's in a good morning kiss.

"Definitely a good way to wake up." Alex smiled as their lips parted. "If you were trying to calm my nerves you've succeeded."

"I do it all." After one more kiss Olivia settled on her side, her hand remaining on Alex's stomach.

Alex rolled to face her girlfriend, a mischievous grin on her face "Don't I know it."

Olivia gave Alex's side a gentle squeeze "Seriously though, are you okay this morning?"

Alex sighed "I'm still nervous, and even a little scared, but I feel more at ease than I did before we came back."

"I think seeing your Dad had a lot to do with that."

Alex smiled "We've always been close. He and Mom were my biggest supporters," She lightly ran her fingers along Olivia's jaw line "Until now. He always told me there wasn't anything I couldn't do."

They talked a little longer before finally getting up to face the day. Kelli had prepared breakfast, Alex wasn't sure she could stomach anything but Olivia finally coaxed her into eating a little bit. They showered, dressed and were headed into the city before seven am.

Just like she did on the flight Alex took pleasure in Olivia's enjoyment of watching the city unfold in front of her. "So this is the Brooklyn Bridge we're taking, and if you look to your right you'll see the Queensboro Bridge."

"It's so amazing." Olivia said as she tried to take in as many sights as she could. The morning traffic was slowing them down which gave her more time to sightsee. "Can you really walk across this one?" Alex nodded. "Have you?"

"No I haven't. Maybe we can do it one day." she knew she was being a bit presumptuous but she hoped one day they would be able to.

"I'd love to."

As the Suburban they were riding in made the turn onto Centre Street Alex began running her hands over her thighs, trying to dry them. They started getting clammy as they came off the bridge and now she was taking slow, steady breaths. She felt Olivia's hand on the back of her neck lightly massaging it.

"Are you okay?" Olivia whispered.

Alex nodded "Just some memories coming back. The last day I was here was the same day I was shot."

Olivia kissed her cheek "You're going to be fine. Just breathe. I'm right here."

The SUV pulled into an underground parking area of the building where Kelli and Hammond quickly escorted Alex to the elevator. She knew there would already be people in the building but far fewer than there would be in an hour or so. When the elevator stopped at her old floor she grabbed Olivia's hand and squeezed it tight. Alex kept her eyes down and hoped that her hair color would also prevent anyone from recognizing her.

As she walked through the building a flood of memories came back to her. It still had the same smell, the muffled sounds of voices coming from a couple offices. Seeing the direction they were headed she began to shake. _'No, no, no. Please let us keep walking.'_ As Agent Hammond slowed and looked to his left Alex felt as if she was going to cry _'Why did it have to be my office?'_ She could hear men's voices coming from inside and immediately recognized two of them. As nervous as she was she had to smile a bit. Alex reached out and squeezed Olivia's hand for support one last time.

"Well, we gonna need lawyers?" Brian Cassidy asked in an exasperated tone.

"I hope not." ADA Rafael Barba replied.

Both Brian and Nick turn when they hear someone behind them. Neither can hide their surprise to see Alex standing there.

"Alex." Nick's voice wasn't much more than a whisper but he couldn't hide the smile on his face at seeing his friend.

Brian began smiling as well "You didn't have to come back."

Alex's smile began to grow as her nerves began to calm a bit "I know. But who else is gonna get you out of trouble?"

Barba pulled on his suit jacket and grabbed his briefcase from his desk then swept past the trio "Don't get comfy, we're due in court."

Alex raised an eyebrow "Is he always that snappy?"

Nick grinned "He's good Alex, he knows what he's doing."

Brian stopped next to her as he started to leave "He's not you though."

The exit from the DA's office was quicker than her entrance as more people were beginning to come in for the day. This time Alex kept her head down and hoped that no one noticed her. Downstairs they climbed back into the waiting SUV and made the quick trip over the courthouse. Alex wasn't used to entering the building in hiding but she understood why it was necessary. She briefly wished she could walk up those steps one more time and enter through the front, hoping that one day she would be able to do so again.

"Okay," Kelli said once they were on the elevator. "Once we're upstairs Alex you'll be taken to a holding room. There are two Marshals there waiting as well as a few in plain clothes who will be in the courtroom. Hammond and I will be with you the entire time."

"What about Olivia?" she asked as she grasped the blonde's hand.

"Olivia will go to the courtroom and will wait for you there." Hammond replied.

Olivia didn't like it but she also knew she really shouldn't push her luck. When the elevator came to a stop they walked a short distance to a small conference room just outside the courtroom. Alex gave Olivia a smile "I'm going to be fine."

Olivia nodded "You're going to be fine." They both glanced at the others in the room, luckily everyone turned their heads. Olivia leaned in and lovingly kissed the brunette. "I'm going to be right in there waiting for you. I love you."

"I love you too."

While waiting to enter the courtroom Alex nervously paced the small hallway where they were waiting.

"Who's the Judge?"

"Ah…Judge Preston." Kelli replied.

Alex smiled, she had always liked the older woman and was glad she was presiding. She internally rolled her eyes as thought what it would be like if Petrovsky was presiding. The two had definitely had their moments over the years _'She'd probably declare a mistrial and send my ass packing.'_

The door to the courtroom suddenly opened and Alex took a deep breath before following one of the Marshals into the room. She looked up and gave Judge Preston a small smile. She noticed the older woman was paler than usual, of course she just watched someone whom she assumed was dead enter her courtroom. Alex had to bite her tongue though as she made her way to her seat in the gallery behind the prosecution's table, almost everyone in the room sat wide eyed staring at her. She nervously glanced at the defense table and chanced a look at Liam Connors, then his attorney Kressler. Both men looked as if they could fall out of their chairs.

Alex took a seat on the second row, just behind Nick and Brian. When she sat down Olivia, who was on her right, took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. She felt a pat from behind her on her left shoulder and reached up and pat her Dad's hand. She listened as Barba and Kressler argued back and forth as to whether or not Nick and Brian would be charged with perjury and about Connors rights. Both detectives breathed a sigh of relief when Judge Preston declared there was no loss of liberty and the detectives would not be charged. Alex closed her eyes and sighed, then smiled at Olivia, it was a small victory but she still had a larger battle looming ahead of her.

As soon as the hearing was over Alex was once again whisked from the courthouse and into the waiting SUV. They were taken to a hotel a little further from the courthouse than Alex was expecting. Typically the DA's office used the hotels that were close by, but Kelli explained for safety reasons they didn't want to use one that was expected.

"So how are you feeling?" Olivia asked once they were in their room. They weren't alone, and they knew they wouldn't be, but at least the room was large and there was half of a partition separating the bedroom and sitting area.

Alex turned from where she was taking clothes from her suitcase "I'm okay. It was weird being back in the courtroom again though."

Olivia grinned "I do have to say, that defense attorney looked less than thrilled to see you."

Alex chuckled now "Kressler? He's an ass."

"I take it you have faced one another?"

"Yep." She grinned at Olivia who was looking at her expectantly "He's beat me a time or two, but for the most part I've kicked his ass."

"That's my girl." Olivia laughed while hugging the brunette.

Hearing a knock at the door both ladies entered the room to see Nick and Brian entering. Now that they had some time Alex walked over and hugged both men. She had told herself she wasn't going to cry but that hadn't lasted long. "I never got to tell you guys, but thank you so much for what you did that night."

Both men took turns hugging her while whispering 'you're welcome.' And 'I was just doing my job.'

Alex held her hand out to Olivia just like she had the day before when introducing her to her Dad. "Guys, I want you to meet someone." She wrapped her arm around Olivia's waist "Detective Nick Amaro, Detective Brian Cassidy, this is my girlfriend Detective Olivia Benson. Olivia this is Nick and Brian."

Olivia shook hands with both men "It's nice to meet you."

"So you're a detective?" Brian asked.

Olivia nodded "I am, but not at the moment. It's kind of a long story."

Alex motioned them to sit and began relaying 'their story' as she'd come to call it. Just like her Dad was both men were shocked at how they had met.

"So, that Barba guy, he was my replacement?" both nodded "Seems like he knows what he's doing."

"He's young, but so were you." Nick smirked. "No really, he does a good job and he gets justice for the victims."

"That's all that matters." Alex said, Olivia nodding in agreement.

After a short visit the detectives stood to leave. Olivia had excused herself to use the restroom and Alex took advantage of her absence "Before you go, can I ask you two a question?"

Olivia returned to find Alex alone in the room. "They seem really nice."

"They are." Alex said pulling the blonde in for a hug.

"So where did your shadows go?"

Alex laughed "One outside the door and another in the room next to us. Kelli will be staying tonight with us, she'll be sleeping on the pull out couch."

"Well since it seems like we won't have much time alone we should take advantage of it now." Olivia said while leaning in for a kiss.

As the kiss ended Alex sat down on the couch and pulled Olivia down next to her. "I need to ask you something." Olivia nodded "Um…" Alex blew out a breath "I'm almost afraid to ask."

Olivia placed her hand on Alex's arm "Never be afraid to ask me something or talk to me about anything. Unless you're breaking up with me, then be very afraid."

Alex laughed as Olivia's words put her at ease. "Don't worry, we'll never discuss that." she took another deep breath and began. "So, do you remember how you asked if there was someone waiting here for me to come back?"

Olivia nodded nervously "Yeah."

"Would you mind if I talked to her?" seeing the look on Olivia's face she became worried she'd said the wrong thing. She took Olivia's hands in her own "It's not what you're thinking. I'm not having second thoughts about us or anything like that. I just want to make sure she's doing okay. I'm sure she's heard by now that I'm back, and knowing her she's going to try to see me. If nothing else, to let her see that I'm okay."

Olivia nodded slowly. She trusted Alex, and knew Alex loved her, but it didn't make it any easier. Then she remembered her promise to Casey to come see her if she was ever allowed to leave the program, no matter how many years down the road it would be. "If you want to see her it's fine with me."

"Really?"

"Yes. I'm not going to tell you who you can and can't see. I love you and I trust you, and that's all that matters."

"You're the best. You know that?"

"Well I try." Olivia said with a cheeky grin.

"Here's the thing, would you mind if I met her alone? I would like for her to meet you if she wants to, but if there's any lingering ideas that we would get back together I think it would be better if I were here alone."

"That's okay. Besides, if I were in her shoes I don't think I'd want to come in and meet the new girlfriend right off the bat."

"Thank you." Alex wrapped her arms around the blonde and held her.

They spent the rest of their afternoon trying to enjoy what little privacy they would have. Kelli was in and out most of the afternoon but they had little moments here and there. Alex paced in front of the windows wishing she could go out and see her city but she knew that wouldn't be allowed. At least the windows were large and they had a decent view. Once the news was out that Alex Cabot was alive Kelli informed her that the phone had been ringing off the hook people wanting to talk to the former ADA, or reporters trying to get a scoop.

"So I guess I'll just go out and walk around for a while, maybe head downstairs to the bar." Olivia said when it started getting closer to the time Brian would return with Abbie.

"Actually Nick offered to take you out and show you around a bit." She grinned at the look of surprise on Olivia's face. "When they were here earlier I asked them if they would mind going to tell Abbie I was back and bring her by if it was okay with you. When I called them to say it was okay to bring her by Nick offered to show you around. I wish it was me showing you around but at least this way you won't be out alone."

Less than an hour later Nick and Olivia were headed out and Alex nervously waited for Abbie to arrive. Hearing a knock then Brian's voice on the other side she cautiously opened the door. Brian smiled as he stepped in followed by Abbie. Alex smiled at the dark haired woman, noticing she was thinner than the last time they saw one another.

"I'll be downstairs in the bar watching ESPN, just call when you're ready." Brian said before turning to leave.

Both women were quiet for a minute. Alex didn't miss the tears in Abbie's eyes. "It's good to see you Abbie."

Abbie smiled, blinking to avoid crying "It's good to see you too Alex."

They sat opposite one another on the couch and were quiet again for a bit before speaking again. The topics were very general, asking how one another were, how was work going for Abbie, and how quickly the news Alex was alive had made it through the Manhattan legal world.

"Do you know how hard it was to pretend I didn't know you were alive?" Abbie asked with a bit of a laugh. "At least Brian had called me as soon as the hearing was over to give me the heads up. I had just hung up when another attorney rushed into my office to tell me that Alex Cabot was alive and had been hiding in Witness Protection. At least I had just found out you were back so I had a surprised look on my face."

"I can only imagine the stories that are going around. I'm halfway afraid to see the papers in the morning."

Abbie sighed, debating whether or not to ask her next question. "So…speaking of Witness Protection, can I ask questions about it?"

Alex felt her hands get clammy "Sure."

"Where were you living?"

"Wisconsin, just outside Middleton."

"Wow, that's a change from Manhattan."

Alex chuckled, more out of nerves than humor. She stood and walked over to the windows again. "Tell me about it." she turned when she realized Abbie had followed "Wisconsin is so quiet at night. Sometimes when I get homesick I hum the Mister Softee song."

Abbie nodded "As long as I've been living here I still get homesick for Texas sometimes." She looked Alex in the eye and tried to smile as she asked her next question "You making any friends?"

Alex folded her arms over her chest, she had told Abbie to move on but at the same time she knew this was going to hurt the dark haired woman. While she didn't want to hurt Abbie she couldn't help but smile as Olivia's face flashed in her mind. "There's a woman who works in my office building's daycare. And we've been seeing each other. She's a good person. She believed I was from Tulsa." Her smile returning "And when we're in bed at night she whispers my name. Emily."

Abbie knew Alex had told her to move on before she had moved, but it didn't mean it hurt any less to hear about the woman she was now seeing. "It's hard to be someone you're not."

Alex reached out and placed her hand on Abbie's arm when she saw a tear escape her dark eyes "Abbie, I didn't tell you this to upset you but I did want to be honest with you."

Abbie turned and stared out the window. She was quiet, she knew Alex didn't want to hurt her but it still hurt. "I know."

"Hey," Alex said as she leaned over to get eye contact with Abbie. "It's nothing against you. I think we both knew that we weren't going anywhere before I left. I do care about you Abbie and I want to see you happy."

Abbie walked over and took a seat in a chair, Alex followed and sat on the couch. She knew Alex was right, as much as she hated to admit it, they wouldn't have made it as a couple. "I know you told me to move on with my life, and honestly I wasn't surprised when you said you were seeing someone. I'm glad you did have someone and you weren't lonely." She sighed "I don't know, I just…"

Alex leaned over on the arm of the couch "Abbie look at me." she waited until Abbie looked her in the eye "I will always care about you but just not in that way. I want you to be happy like I am. I want you to find someone who will treat you like Olivia treats me, like you are the most precious thing on earth."

At that Abbie began to smile "You love her, don't you?"

"I do. More than anything in the world."

"As long as she loves you and treats you like you deserve to be treated then I'm happy for you."

"Thank you." Alex had tried to put herself in Abbie's shoes and she had to admit she would probably feel the same way if the situation were reversed. Now that they'd had this discussion it felt like the mood had lightened and Alex felt she could broach the next subject. "So, has there been anyone for you?"

"Not really."

"Oh come on Abbie! You are a beautiful, intelligent, successful woman, I'm sure there are people lined up wanting to take you out."

At that Abbie laughed. "Well I don't know about lined up but I've had offers."

"Anyone I know?" again Abbie grinned but this time she blushed a bit "So I do know someone. Let me guess, guy or girl?"

"Alex." Abbie said with a roll of her eyes.

"Abbie I know you're bi, just like I am. I know you've dated guys in the past. So has he asked you out yet?"

"I never said it was a guy."

"You forget, I'm an amazing ADA I can tell when someone is lying."

Now Abbie laughed, a genuine laugh. "No, he hasn't asked me out. Well…not officially."

Alex raised her eyebrow and smirked while waving her hand, indicating for Abbie to continue. "We've just hung out some that's all. He was really nice to me and I always thought he was just trying to cheer me up. We've been to a few games and sometimes we'll grab a bite to eat or a drink but it's never been an actual date."

"That's all well and good, now who is it?"

Abbie shook her head "I'm not telling you."

Neither realized how long Abbie had been there until there was a knock at the door and Nick asking to come in. Abbie excused herself to the restroom while Alex opened the door. Nick walked in laughing at something Olivia had just said.

"She's not right." He said shaking his head.

"Trust me, I know." Alex laughed but stopped suddenly when she saw her girlfriend…her now brunette girlfriend. "Olivia? What…your hair!"

Olivia gave her a nervous smile "Do you not like it?"

Alex shook her head, her eyes wide, as she approached her girlfriend "No, no, it's not that. I'm just surprised that's all." she reached up and ran her fingers through the now darker locks "Is this the real you?"

"Well it's not as dark as what it naturally is but this is about a shade lighter than when I entered the program."

"So I finally have the real Olivia?"

"Yep, real Olivia." the words barely left her mouth before Alex kissed her quickly.

Alex looked to Nick "So instead of showing her around you took her to get her hair done?"

"No we did a little sight-seeing then she wanted to get her hair done. Her exact words were 'I can't take this blonde any longer. I need to find a salon now'."

Olivia held a bag up and a bright smile spread across Alex's face "I wanted to bring you dinner and Nick suggested this Thai place that you seemed to like."

"Like? I love this place!" she looked to Nick "Shared quite a few working lunches and dinners from there didn't we?"

"Sure did."

Abbie reentered the room and cleared her throat "I called Brian, he's on his way up. I'm going to have to get going, I have an early meeting in the morning."

Alex smiled and tilted her head toward Olivia "Abbie this is Olivia, Olivia this is Abbie." The two shook hands and exchanged hellos. Alex watched as the two sized one another up but was relieved to see them smile at one another. They were interrupted though when Brian and Kelli entered the room.

"Ready to go?" Brian asked.

Abbie nodded "Early day tomorrow."

Alex watched the exchange between the two. It took all her might to keep her mouth from dropping open. _'It's Brian! Abbie was talking about Brian.'_ Alex shook her head. She liked Brian, always had, and couldn't help but feel he and Abbie would be good for one another. She watched how Brian acted around Abbie, almost like a little puppy. Many had always thought he was a jerk, or rough around the edges, but Alex had been able to see the guy underneath all that. She had seen the guy who was good with victims, who was sensitive, who wanted to make sure that the victims received justice. She had also seen him cry in her office after a rather tough case, although that was something she swore she'd take to her grave.

When Abbie looked at her Alex gave her a sly grin that earned her a blush in return. She then looked to Brian who was looking at Abbie like a young boy looks at his crush. She hugged Nick and Abbie. "You should ask her out." Alex whispered as she hugged Brian. He pulled back and gave her a confused look but the blush on his face gave him away. Alex just nodded in encouragement. When Abbie started to walk out the door Alex bumped shoulders with her and nodded toward Brian while grinning. She watched as the three walked down the hallway, Abbie walking closer to Brian than Nick. As she closed the door she hoped that Abbie would now be able to move on and be happy.

"So how did you like the city?" Alex asked as they ate dinner.

"It would've been better if you were with us, but I enjoyed it. Nick took me to Ground Zero."

Alex nodded, remembering how she felt the first time she visited the site but knew it was even more emotional for cops. She reached over and pat Olivia's thigh "It's a tough place to visit."

"I cried, but I'm glad I got the opportunity to visit and pay my respects."

"I'm glad to see you and Nick got along."

Now Olivia was smiling again "He's a great guy. We had a lot of fun." She sat her container on the coffee table "He really cares about you Alex."

Alex narrowed her eyes "He didn't give you the third degree did he?"

Olivia laughed "A little, but that just shows how much he cares about you and wants to make sure you're happy. It wasn't nothing I couldn't handle, just your basic 'you break her heart I'll break your neck' type speech."

"I'm gonna kill him." Alex groaned.

"He's just looking out for you Alex. I'd worry about what kind of friend he is if he didn't say that."

Later after settling in bed Alex continued to run her fingers through Olivia's hair. "You are so beautiful."

"So are you."

"I know I've said you were beautiful before, and I meant it every time, but now seeing the real you…it takes my breath away."

"You're such a sap." Olivia said while swallowing back tears.

"Says the one who's trying not to cry."

"Yeah," Olivia chuckled "But you love me anyway."

"More than I can ever say." Alex pulled Olivia to her for a kiss, it was long, slow and passionate. She groaned as she felt Olivia's hand rubbing circles on her back "I really wish she wasn't sleeping in there." She nodded toward the other half of the hotel room. "I want to make love to you so bad I can't stand it."

Olivia chuckled "Maybe we'll find some time be alone soon." Then placing her lips next to Alex's ear "And if nothing else there's always the shower."

"You're killin me here."

Olivia grinned as she kissed her again. "Come on, you need to go to sleep, you have a big week ahead of you." she snuggled closer and tangled their legs together "I love you."

Alex draped her arm over Olivia's waist, her nerves feeling calmer than they had in days "I love you too."


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: Sorry for the delay again. Thank you all for your continued reviews, faves and follows. It is appreciated. I think you will like this chapter, our ladies will get some quality time. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 30

Alex opened her eyes and smiled at Olivia who was still sleeping next to her. She had been surprised the night before when her girlfriend showed up with her hair back to its original color. She reached out and lightly ran her fingers through Olivia's now brunette locks. _'She is absolutely beautiful.'_

Olivia barely opened her eyes, a smile spreading across her face at the feeling of Alex's fingers in her hair. "You keep that up and I'm going to go right back to sleep."

"That would be fine with me, I love watching you sleep."

Olivia leaned in for a kiss "Happy Valentine's Day."

Alex froze. With everything that had occurred over the last few days she had forgotten all about Valentine's Day. "Oh my God, I completely forgot!" she said as her hand covered her face "Olivia I am so sorry."

Olivia reached out and pulled Alex's hand from her face "Don't be sorry." Seeing Alex still didn't look convinced she slid closer and kissed her again "I promise, its okay. I have you and that's all that matters." She reached down and twisted the ring on Alex's finger she'd given her for Christmas "If all I ever have is you I'll be the happiest woman on earth."

Alex laughed as she wiped a few tears "You're such a sap."

"Says the woman who is crying."

"Shut up." Alex said as she pinched Olivia's breast.

"Ow!"

"Ssh!" Alex chuckled as she pulled Olivia close "Did you forget Kelli is right in there?" Olivia just shrugged while grinning. Alex rolled her eyes before kissing her girlfriend again "Happy Valentine's Day."

They lay quietly for a bit enjoying some time alone with one another, knowing they wouldn't be alone for the rest of the day.

"Your gift is tucked away in the bottom of my underwear drawer back at your house."

"It's still our house." Olivia said sincerely.

"Okay, your gift is back at home."

Olivia was quiet for a minute then grinned "So…what is my gift?"

"Just a card." Alex said, watching Olivia's reaction "With two tickets to a Pat Benatar concert inside."

Olivia's eyes widened "What?"

Alex nodded and smiled, loving the reaction she was getting. It was definitely the reaction she was hoping for.

Olivia kissed her quickly then started to roll toward the edge of the bed "Good luck with your testimony, I'm flying back to get my ticket!"

Alex grabbed Olivia's hand and pulled her back "Get your ass back in bed."

Both were laughing when they heard Kelli's voice from the other room. "Good morning ladies."

Alex and Olivia sighed at the same time, their alone time had now come to an end.

"So, I have to go to the DA's office this afternoon for a meeting with the ADA." Alex said after having breakfast.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"Normally I'd ask you to, but my Dad called while you were in the shower and asked if he could take you to lunch."

"Really?" until now she had only met someone she was dating's parents once, and that was because they ran into one another while out.

"He really likes you Olivia, and wants to get to know you better."

That afternoon Olivia began to grow nervous at being separated from Alex. She knew the Marshals would be with her, and she also found out that Lieutenant Murphy would be accompanying her today as well. She knew they would protect her girlfriend but at the same time it didn't ease her worry. She was however looking forward to spending time with Alex's dad and getting to know him as well.

As she and James were about to leave Olivia pulled Alex in for a hug. "I know you're going to be fine, but I am nervous about letting you go."

"I know, but you'll have so much fun with Dad you won't even be thinking about me."

Olivia shook her head "There's hardly a moment that goes by that I'm not thinking about you."

"I know the feeling." She kissed her girlfriend, both blushing when they saw James was watching them. "Have fun, and Dad don't give her a hard time."

"So what would you like to have for lunch?" James asked as they stepped outside the hotel.

"I'm not picky, but something very New York sounds good. Why don't you surprise me?"

When the cab stopped in front of the famous Katz deli she began grinning.

"I take it you've seen 'When Harry met Sally'?" James asked.

Olivia blushed slightly as she nodded, the famous scene shot in the deli flashing through her mind.

"I've been coming here since I was young. It's not the healthiest food you can get in Manhattan, but it is some of the best."

After ordering and taking a seat they ate quietly for a bit, only discussing their food and then her family, before James launched into more personal questions. "So what made you want to become a cop?"

Olivia sighed as she decided how much she wanted to tell the man across from her. She knew Alex hadn't told him, but she wasn't sure if she should tell him or not. "Um…my Mom was the victim of a crime when she was in college. I saw how it affected her and I wanted help people like her."

"That's a very honorable reason. So before all of this happened how long had you been in the Special Victims Unit?"

"Almost six years."

"From what I've gathered it's a very difficult unit." Olivia nodded "I could see how it wore on Alex in just the few years she prosecuted the cases. How do you do it?" there was genuine concern in his voice and eyes.

Olivia sighed as she looked him in the eye "Someone has to do it. I guess I just remind myself of that."

He shook his head "I couldn't do it. The rapists, men who beat their wives or children…I'd be in handcuffs and behind bars on my first day. I'd beat the hell out of them."

"I get that. I'm not proud of it but I've lost my cool a time or two, maybe slammed someone against a wall or the ground a little harder than necessary to stop them."

Silence settled over them as they went back to their lunch. Olivia wondered if she should tell James about her father but at the same time she didn't feel like this was the appropriate place.

When he finished his meal James pushed the plate to the side and smiled at the woman across from him. He reached into the breast pocket of his coat lying next to him and pulled out a couple pictures. "I figured if you and Alex are as serious about one another as you say you are, you're going to need a little blackmail for the future."

Olivia grinned as she looked down at the pictures in front of her. "She was so cute!" the pictures ranged from Alex as a baby with no hair and a gummy grin to ones as she grew older. Olivia briefly flashed to their discussions of one day having children. While she didn't even know what the future held for them after the trial, she still hoped that one day they would have a family. Looking at a picture of seven year old Alex, standing on the sidewalk in her Girls Scouts uniform and her two front teeth missing, she knew immediately she wanted her own blonde hair, blue eyed little girl. The next photo she could tell was taken in the last few years. "Alex has your eyes, but she has her mother's smile."

James smiled while leaning across the table to look at the picture. "People who knew me when I was younger thought she looked just like me, but those who knew her mom thought she looked like her."

"She definitely looks like her mother." She smiled sincerely "Your wife was very beautiful."

He tapped the photo of his wife "This is what you have to look forward to."

Olivia blushed slightly "I'm very lucky. When was this taken?"

James picked the picture up "Our last anniversary before…" he cleared his throat but Olivia could see the tears gathering in his eyes. "It was taken the summer before Alex was shot. It was our last anniversary together." a lone tear escaped but he smiled as he wiped it away "I miss her like crazy. You know, as heartbreaking as our last few months together was I would do it all again in a heartbeat."

"I feel the same way about Alex. As difficult as everything I went through was, meeting her was worth it."

James smiled now. He could tell that Olivia loved his daughter based solely on the way she looked at Alex, but now he knew without a doubt how much she truly loved her. "It's a nice day today, what do you say we take a walk through Central Park?"

"We're that close?"

As they stepped outside James held his arm up "No, but we can take a cab."

Olivia had seen Central Park on many television shows and movies but it didn't compare to seeing it in person. She only wished Alex was with them but hopefully one day soon they would have the chance to stroll through the park together. They ran into a woman that had been friends with Alex's mother, the woman expressing her shock and joy at the news Alex was alive. When James introduced Olivia as his future daughter in law Olivia couldn't help but blush slightly, she at least managed to hold back her tears.

"There's something I need to tell you." Olivia said as they took a seat on a bench.

"Okay."

"You know how I told you earlier that I don't know my father?" he nodded. "Well that's true, I don't know him, the only thing I know about him is that he raped my mother." Just like when she told Alex she watched for some reaction but his face was emotionless, in ways it worried her more than if he did react.

"Is that why you've spent so long in Special Victims?"

"Yes. I saw how she struggled the rest of her life, how she turned to alcohol to cope, and if I could help one woman or prevent one child from growing up the way I did then it would be worth it." she noticed he was still quiet "Mr. Cabot, I promise you I will never hurt Alex. She is too precious to me."

"Olivia I know you would never hurt her, I can tell that about you. No one should be held accountable for the sins of their parents." He put his arm around her shoulders and gave her a sideways hug. "I'm so glad you and Alex have one another."

"I'm grateful I have her too."

Arriving back at the hotel Olivia hated that she had been away from Alex most of the day but at the same time she loved getting to know James better. It was now early evening and she couldn't wait to get back in their room and see her girlfriend. "Hey, we're back!" she called out after Kelli opened the door for them.

"Well it's about time." Alex said, entering from the sleeping area.

Olivia's jaw dropped "You're blonde!"

Alex nodded while laughing "Two can play this game. You went back to your natural color without telling me, I figured I could do the same. Although this isn't quite my natural color." Alex's hair was now a light ash brown. "I couldn't go straight to blonde as dark as my hair was."

"How did you do this?" Olivia asked as she lightly ran her fingers through Alex's now lighter hair.

"I had mentioned it to Kelli and she had arranged for the woman who used to do my hair to come back here after my meeting with Barba." She hugged the brunette then stepped over to hug her dad "I take it you two had a good time?"

"We had a blast." James replied. "Katz Deli then Central Park. We got to know one another quite well."

"I'm so glad!"

They talked for a few minutes then said their goodbyes. "Your Dad is the best." Olivia said as she entered the bedroom to change. Alex followed her a moment later. "I also found out that you were really cute as a Girl Scout and missing your front teeth."

Alex groaned while Olivia laughed "Oh my God! He brought pictures?"

Olivia nodded as she hugged the blonde "You were so cute!" she pulled back and looked Alex in the eye "I know it's still too soon to discuss these things, but after seeing those pictures I really want a little girl who looks just like you."

"Well, what if I want a little girl or boy who looks just like you?"

"Maybe once this mess is over we can sit down and talk it over some more."

"Sounds perfect."

"Hey, Alex?" both pulled apart when Kelli called out.

Alex headed into the other room while Olivia went to the bathroom. When she returned she was surprised to see Kelli double checking the lock on the door then heading to the adjoining room through the other door. As she stepped fully into the room Olivia's eyes went wide. The lights had been turned off except for a couple lamps on low. The small round table where they had eaten their meals was now covered in a white linen tablecloth, a couple candles were lit, dinner was laid out and a bottle of champagne was chilling.

"Happy Valentine's Day." Alex said from her spot next to the table.

"What is all this?"

Alex walked over and took Olivia's hand, guiding her to the table and pulling a chair out for her. She took a seat opposite the brunette and reached out to take her hand. "It's my Valentine's Day gift to you."

"You didn't have to do this."

"Yes I did. You have been so wonderful through all of this, and I want to repay you. Never mind the fact I had forgotten what day it was until you said it first."

Olivia rose up and leaned across the table, their lips meeting in a soft kiss. "I love you so much."

"I love you too."

Alex poured their champagne as Olivia glanced at the adjoining door. "So, are we actually alone?"

Alex grinned as she sipped her champagne "All evening. The Marshall who was staying in that room had to leave due to another case. Kelli will be staying in there. We will have someone staying in here with us but not until later." She gave Olivia a coy grin "Much, much later."

After dinner they moved to the couch, each with a glass of champagne and the chocolate covered strawberries Alex had ordered for desert. Once seated Olivia reached into her purse that was on the coffee table and removed a small box. "I don't know how, but I managed to think to pack this before we left."

Alex slowly opened it and gasped as she pulled the small diamond pendant necklace from the box. "Olivia it's beautiful." She held it out and turned so Olivia could put it on her. "Thank you."

Olivia leaned in for a kiss, their lips moving slowly against one another's as she felt Alex gently pushing her onto her back. She slipped her hand under Alex's shirt and began palming her breast through her bra.

Alex groaned at the feeling "It's been too long."

"I know." Olivia said as she began to sit up "So why don't we move this to bed?"

As they were about to enter the bedroom Alex placed her hands on Olivia's shoulders "Wait, just a minute. I have another surprise for you." she pushed the brunette back into the sitting area and headed into the bedroom.

"Are you serious?!" Olivia whined.

Alex chuckled from the bedroom "Just a minute, I promise!"

It was only a couple minutes but to Olivia it felt like an eternity.

"Okay, you can come in."

Olivia walked in and felt her knees go weak at the sight of Alex in a black, sheer negligee. "Wow!" she whispered. She stepped closer and placed her hands on Alex's arms, lightly trailing her fingers from her wrists to her shoulders as she took in the woman in front of her. "You are amazing." She slowly walked around the blonde taking in the entire outfit, especially enjoying the black lace thong she was able to detect beneath the negligee.

Alex shivered as she felt Olivia's eyes on her even though she couldn't see the brunette. "I take it you like?" she asked in a low voice.

Olivia closed her eyes and groaned. She loved Alex's voice but when she dropped it lower, especially in the bedroom, it was all she could do to keep control. "I don't just like, I love. Where did you get this?"

"I called up a boutique that I used to frequent and had this delivered earlier. Just consider it your gift."

"My gift is what is underneath this."

Alex placed her hands on Olivia's waist "I've been waiting to make love to you Olivia. So why don't you get busy unwrapping your gift?"

Olivia couldn't hold back any longer and backed Alex up against the wall, her hands sliding down Alex's thighs and up under the material. She grinned as Alex's eyes fluttered closed a time or two, her lips barely parted.

"Liv!" she groaned.

Olivia tilted her head "Did you just call me 'Liv'?"

"Did I?" Olivia nodded "Is that okay?"

"Yeah. Some of my friends back in LA called me that. I have to say though, I love hearing you say it."

Alex slid her hands over Olivia's ass and pulled her closer. "Can we get on with this? I'm about to die here."

Olivia grinned as she began slowly bunching the negligee in her hands and pulling it upwards. "We can't have that, can we?"

Alex's breathing became shallow as she watched Olivia lean in. Her eyes closed as she anticipated the kiss but was surprised when she didn't feel Olivia's lips on her own. She was about to open her eyes when she felt the tip of Olivia's tongue gently tracing her lips.

Olivia grinned as she felt Alex's body shudder. She continued to lightly run her tongue over Alex's lips while she gently ran her fingertips up the back of Alex's thighs and over her ass.

"Unh…fuck!" Alex moaned as she struggled to stay on her feet.

"I take it you want to get in bed now?" Olivia chuckled.

"Yes," Alex said as she stepped forward causing Olivia to step back toward the bed. "But we need to get these clothes off of you first." She unbuttoned Olivia's shirt and quickly pushed it off her shoulders before undoing her jeans and pulling them down her legs. Both began laughing as Olivia tried kicking them off and got tangled, losing her balance and falling onto the bed.

Olivia stood and slipped her finger under the thin straps holding the negligee on Alex's body. She gently pulled them to the side and let the garment slip to the floor. She leaned in and placed a kiss to Alex's scar while meeting her gaze "Still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

Alex pulled her in for a passionate kiss "I love you so much." She reached around and unhooked Olivia's bra then palmed her breasts.

They lay on the bed kissing, making sure no inch of skin was left untouched. While they relished the fact that it was their first time together as their real selves, both were painfully aware that depending on the outcome, it could also be their last time. After shedding their last piece of clothing they took turns tasting and loving one another with their mouths. Alex climbed on top of Olivia and slipped her fingers inside the blonde, while Olivia did the same to her.

Olivia had felt that Alex needed to be in control considering so much of her life was currently out of her control, and she was more than willing to allow her to take that control. She moaned and arched her back at the feel of Alex's fingers curling inside her, their breasts lightly brushing one another's as they moved to meet one another's thrusts.

Alex kept her eyes locked on Olivia's, making sure she committed every moment to memory. If by some chance this was their last time she wanted to make sure she remembered every second of it. Feeling her orgasm creeping closer and closer she leaned in for a kiss. "Together, I need us to come together."

Olivia nodded as she began massaging Alex internally the way the blonde liked while rubbing her thumb over her clit.

In a matter of minutes both were crying out to one another as their release over took them. Neither cared if they could be overheard in other rooms. Olivia held Alex close to her body as they came down, while Alex tilted her head and placed gentle kisses to Olivia's neck. "I love you." Olivia whispered. "I love you so much."

"I love you too."

They lay quietly for a while until the untraceable phone Alex had been given beeped with a message. "That was Brian." She sighed as she rolled over and kissed the brunette. "He'll be here in about twenty minutes."

Olivia ran her fingers through her hair "I guess that's our cue to get up."

They went to the bathroom to 'make themselves halfway presentable' in Alex's words. They were cleaning up their mess from dinner when there was a knock at the door. Olivia motioned Alex off to the side then stepped next to the door "Who is it?"

"It's me, Cassidy."

Olivia cautiously opened the door then double checked the locks once she closed it back.

Brian nodded to both as he entered "Ladies." A knowing grin on his face as he sat his overnight bag on a chair.

"Oh shut up." Alex said causing Olivia to look confused and Brian to chuckle.

"What'd I say Alex?" he asked while holding his hands up.

"Nothing, but your grin says it all." she wasn't mad at him at all, and if the situation were reversed she'd probably be teasing him as well, but she didn't want Olivia to feel uncomfortable.

His grin grew wider now "And so does yours."

Both ladies blushed slightly but grinned. Alex was taken by surprise though when Olivia spoke up "Don't be jealous that we got laid and you didn't."

Brian was dumfounded for a moment before laughing "I'm not jealous."

"Well if he'd make a move and play his cards right he could be getting laid." Alex said with a pointed look.

Brian began blushing and both began to feel a little sorry for him. "Well…uh…that's enough about me." he said as he leaned over and picked up the bag he'd set next to his overnight bag. He handed it to Alex "Since I'm spending Valentine's evening with you two lovely ladies I figured it was only right I brought you something." He nodded to the bag as Alex began grinning when she realized where it was from. "I know how much you loved that bakery a couple blocks from your apartment, so I went there earlier and picked up some cupcakes for both of you and some bagels for breakfast."

"Finally," Alex said as she looked into the bag "A decent bagel! Nothing compares to a New York City bagel." She said looking to Olivia. She then stepped over and hugged the detective causing him to again blush slightly "Thank you Brian."

He simply shrugged it off, never one to take compliments well.

The three sat up talking and laughing until the early hours of the morning. Brian had slept most of the day so he would be able to stay awake that night, while Alex knew her meeting with Barba wasn't until later in the evening. Olivia and Brian swapped stories from the job while Brian shared a few of Alex's less than memorable moments. Finally at a little after two that morning neither lady was able to stay awake. Brian stretched out on the couch with a few files he'd brought along to catch up on and to help pass the time.

Once settled in bed Olivia noticed the smile on the blonde's face "You're smiling."

Alex nodded as she kissed her quickly "It's been such a good evening. First, well…you know." She waggled her eyebrows causing Olivia to chuckle "Then getting to catch up with Brian, and you two get along so well. It's just been good."

"I'm glad to see you so smiling." Olivia said sincerely.

Alex settled down in the bed facing the brunette "I've got a good feeling about this Liv." both grinning at the shortened version of her name again. "I think everything is gonna be okay."


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: Again my apologies for how long this took. As always, thank you for the continued reviews, follows and favs. This is a long one, but there was no good place to stop. Just to say it again no infringement intended, I own nothing. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 31

The hotel room was quiet. Alex sat in a chair staring out the window as she contemplated her meeting with ADA Barba that evening. She knew how it felt to be in the courtroom, what she didn't know was how it felt to be on the witness stand. From what the guys had told her Barba was good at what he did, and she believed them, it was after the trial that had her worried the most. Though she wouldn't admit it to anyone she was worried about the trial itself. Even though she was feeling more optimistic about her situation, she still had small, nagging fears in the back of her mind. She was pulled from her thoughts though when she could hear Olivia singing in the shower. She tilted her head and grinned when she could make out the song her girlfriend was singing.

Alex played with the necklace around her neck that Olivia had given her the evening before as she thought about the brunette. She never would've made it through her time in Wisconsin if it wasn't for her, and she wouldn't have made it through the last few days if it wasn't for Olivia. She stood and took one more look at the street below before heading to the bedroom to choose an outfit for the next day. She heard the water turn off but Olivia continued to sing. Alex shook her head and laughed as she looked through her outfits. She'd grabbed a couple of the outfits she wore for work to bring with her but somehow none of them felt right. She wished she had one of her suits she used to wear for work, her power suits as the guys used to kid her.

Olivia opened the bathroom door, leaned against the frame and watched the blonde. The evening before had been one of the best times they'd shared in a while, and Olivia had been so relieved to see Alex relaxed when they finally fell asleep. Now watching her search through her clothes Olivia could tell Alex was nervous.

"I know you're staring at me."

"And just how do you know that?"

"I could smell your soap when you opened the door and I felt the steam coming out of there. Plus you're not singing anymore." She grinned to herself "Never mind the fact I can always tell when your eyes are on me."

Olivia let her eyes drift over Alex's body, taking time to appreciate her form.

"And I know you're staring at my ass right now!"

"And what a _fine_ ass it is!" Olivia said stepping into the room.

Alex turned with a grin on her face that turned into a wide smile as she saw the brunette standing there with nothing but a towel wrapped around her. "As much as I'd hate for you to change, Amaro and Murphy will be here soon to accompany me to the courthouse." She placed her hands on Olivia's waist and took a quick peek down the front of her towel "I'd hate for them to see you like this."

Olivia leaned in for a kiss. When they parted, even though Alex was smiling she could see the slight worry in her eyes "Are you okay?"

Alex shrugged "Just getting nervous I guess."

Olivia placed her hands on either side of Alex's face, gently stroking her thumbs across Alex's cheekbones, then placed a kiss on her forehead "You're going to do wonderful."

* * *

An hour later they were stepping out into the cold late afternoon air, Nick on one side of Alex, Kelli in front of them and Murphy behind. Olivia was on Alex's right, her arm around the blonde's waist while her eyes scanned the street for any signs of danger.

"We won't be in the office with you but I will be waiting outside in the hall and so will Amaro." Kelli said from the passenger seat. The SUV they were riding in was being driven by another Marshal while Murphy followed behind in an unmarked car.

"And I'll be right outside the door as well." Olivia said.

When they stepped off the elevator and started down the hall to Barba's office Alex was convinced you could hear a pin hit the floor. She kept her eyes straight ahead but was aware of the stares she was receiving as she passed. Of course she really couldn't blame her former colleagues, they were watching a person whose funeral they had attended walk right past them. The feel of Olivia's hand slipping into her own and gently squeezing her fingers gave her a sense of calm though.

Stepping into the office Nick and Kelli did a quick pass through the room making sure everything was okay.

"Really?" Barba asked sarcastically.

Nick just shrugged "I'm not taking any chances this time."

Alex smiled at him sympathetically while patting his arm. She knew no matter how many times she told him not to, he still blamed himself for not protecting her that night. As they started to file out of the office she squeezed Olivia's hand one last time.

"I'll be right outside the door."

Olivia settled onto a small sofa in the hall while Nick took a seat a little further down at the corner of the office so he could see anyone approaching. She picked up a newspaper laying close by and hoped she could find an article that didn't mention her girlfriend.

As the evening passed Olivia began to grow restless. She'd had dinner when Alex and Barba ordered theirs, and had been pacing the hallway for the last thirty minutes. She had grown curious when a man and a young boy had approached and entered Barba's office. Nick explained that the boy was Antonio, he had been shot and left for dead by Connors. Olivia collapsed onto the sofa and shook her head as she wondered for the millionth time over her career, what would possess a person to harm a child?

She settled in again, knowing it was going to be a long evening. As her mind wandered, her thoughts drifted to something she hadn't thought about in the last few days. She pulled her phone from her pocket and flipped it open and closed a couple times before blowing out a breath and dialing.

"Stabler."

Olivia covered her mouth with her hand as she tried not to cry at hearing her old partner's voice.

"Hello?"

She blew out a couple shaky breaths "Hey El." There was no sound for a moment as Olivia briefly wondered if he had forgotten the sound of her voice.

"Olivia?!" he was quiet again for a second "Liv, is that you?!"

"It's me."

"What's wrong? Are you okay?!"

She saw Nick glance at her out of the corner of his eye before he turned back to pacing the hall, keeping his back to her for her privacy. "I'm fine Elliot. I promise."

"Why are you calling? Are you sure you're okay? Where are you?"

She grinned at the rate he was firing questions at her. "El, I promise you I'm okay."

"Not that I'm not glad to hear your voice, but why are you calling?"

"Well…um…it's over."

"Over?"

"They got 'em El. It's over." She wondered if she had lost the call when she heard him laugh.

"Olivia that's great! When did you find out? More importantly, when are you coming home?"

"I found out a little over a week ago."

"Then why aren't you home?"

Olivia braced herself before continuing. "It's a little more complicated than that Elliot."

He cut her off. "Oh, like some kind of debriefing or something?"

"Not quite."

"Liv where are you?"

"I'm in New York City."

"You're kiddin! Of all the places they could've hid you, they put you there?"

"No, I've been living in Wisconsin. I'm here right now with my girlfriend."

"Your girlfriend huh?" she could hear the slight grin through his voice "You were in Witness Protection, not a dating service."

"Shut up."

He laughed now "No seriously Olivia, what is going on?"

"How much time do you have?"

"I'm heading home, in rush hour traffic on the 405. I've got plenty of time."

"Okay then, but it's kind of a long story." She sighed before starting at the beginning, the day she left LA.

* * *

Alex smiled and said goodbye to Antonio as he left the office. She understood the little boy's fear, she was scared herself, and she just hoped he would be able to overcome it by morning.

She toyed with her napkin from dinner for a second before throwing it on the table "I think we should go over my testimony again."

Barba shook his head as he started to clear their mess "I think we're good."

"Are you sure?" seeing the look on his face she immediately regretted her words. "Geez Rafael, I'm sorry." Alex said as she covered her face with her hand.

He nodded slowly, he couldn't imagine what she had been through "It must be hard being on that side of the desk." He glanced down at the table then looked the blonde in the eye "I know I don't have to tell you this, but if he doesn't testify tomorrow we're screwed."

"I know."

* * *

By the time Olivia finished her story she had to wipe her tears away. Just thinking about everything she went through, everything she had to give up, would always bring tears to her eyes. However these weren't just tears for what happened to her, there were also happy tears when she spoke of Alex and their life together. She was leaning forward on her knees but looked up when she saw Nick's shoes in front of her. She gave him a bright smile and mouthed 'thank you' when she saw him smiling at her while handing her some tissues. "Well?" she wiped her eyes as she waited for a response from her old partner.

"That's uh…that's…wow." he stammered as he tried to figure out what to say. "So you go into Witness Protection, meet a woman and fall in love, then find out that you're both in hiding?"

"Yep."

He laughed for a second "If it were anyone else telling me this I'd say you're shittin me, but I know you." he laughed louder this time "God Liv, you can't make this stuff up."

"Try living it." she replied with a laugh.

"So, when will you be coming home?"

Olivia sighed and leaned back on the sofa, she had dreaded this part of the conversation since she found out the situation Alex was in. "I don't know El."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"Exactly what I said Elliot, I don't know. I'm staying with Alex until this mess is over, once it is she and I have some things to discuss."

He stared out the window of his car as he realized what his partner was saying "You might not be coming back." it wasn't a question, but a statement.

"I don't know El." She ran her fingers through her hair and wondered again why she decided to call him this evening. "I've never felt about anyone the way I feel about Alex. I love her more than anything in the world, and if that means not coming back to LA then that's the way it'll be. If she wants to return to New York, her job and her old life, then I'm staying in New York. Wherever she goes, is where I'll go." Even at opposite ends of the country she knew what he was thinking. "Look Elliot, we have no idea what's going to happen in the next few days let alone the future. Once I know more I'll let you know."

He sighed as he realized he may never get to call her his partner again. "Okay Liv. Just promise me you'll be careful. It's bad enough what you were up against, but a Colombian Cartel is nothing to mess with."

"I promise you." she ran her fingers through her hair one more time "Don't tell anyone about me calling you, at least not yet."

"Okay."

"Be careful Elliot."

"You too Olivia."

She closed her phone and leaned her head back, staring at the ceiling. She jumped though when she heard Barba's door open.

Alex could tell the brunette had been crying "Are you okay?" Olivia simply nodded. "You wanna tell me about it?"

"Maybe later." She whispered.

Once on the elevator Alex looped her arm through Olivia's as they leaned against the back of the elevator. She leaned her head over on Olivia's shoulder as she tried to relax, feeling the tension slowly begin to leave when she felt Olivia cover her hand with her own while kissing her head. She began to tense up again when she saw Nick and Kelli whispering to one another. "What's going on?"

"It's nothing." Kelli replied.

"You're lying."

The Marshal sighed as she faced the blonde "We're going out the front instead of through the basement is all."

"Why?" Olivia asked.

"A car broke down in the basement so they're waiting on a tow truck."

Olivia stood up a little straighter "Wait, are we sure this isn't a set up or something?"

Alex's eyes widened as she looked at everyone in the elevator.

"No, no, it's nothing like that." Nick reassured them. "It's someone who works here. It's not a setup."

Alex nodded while taking a couple breaths. When she saw Nick struggling not to grin she couldn't help but ask "What are you grinning about?"

He tried to stop but his grin grew wider. "It's really not funny, a car breaking down."

"Who is it?" Now Alex was intrigued.

Nick couldn't contain himself any longer and started to chuckle "Liz Donnelly."

At that Alex laughed. She admired and respected Donnelly, even if the woman had suspended her once. "You're kidding!" Nick shook his head no. "Yeah, maybe we should avoid the parking garage. With Liz's temper, especially after working all day…it's a wonder the roof hasn't come off the building."

They stepped out into the night air and started down the steps of the courthouse. Alex flashed back to how many times she had walked these very stairs, and how different it felt to be making the trip now as a victim and not the prosecutor. The Marshal who had driven them was waiting at the sidewalk with the SUV running while Murphy stood next to it, his unmarked car parked behind it. Nick, Kelli and Olivia were all looking around as they came to the bottom of the stairs and started toward the vehicle.

A loud pop pierced the air causing everyone to jump.

"Get down!" Nick shouted as he pulled his gun and began looking around.

Olivia heard the pop and grabbed Alex, both of them falling to the ground. The second Alex heard the sound her mind immediately went back to that night. Before she could even react she felt Olivia's arms wrap around her body as they fell to the ground. She was fighting the flashback that was threatening but it was a losing battle. She was face down on the cold concrete, gasping for air. She was vaguely aware of Olivia's body on top of her own, she felt the brunette's hands cover her head.

Olivia looked around as they all tried to figure out where the shot came from. As she looked down she became aware of Alex's shallow breathing. She knew instantly the younger woman was going into a flashback "Alex, you're okay. Alex just stay with me. Listen to me baby, just listen to my voice. Stay with me Alex. Just stay with me."

"Is she okay?" Nick asked as he ran over to the pair.

Olivia looked up and noticed he was putting his weapon away, her eyes narrowing in confusion.

"It's okay." He shook his head as he took a deep breath and leaned over, his hands resting on his knees "A truck backfired."

Olivia dropped her head onto the back of Alex's as she took a deep breath. Her body was shaking from the rush of adrenaline and she thought briefly she was going to be sick. She slid off Alex's back and laid beside her. She pulled Alex's hair back and tried to look at her but Alex had her face in her hands. "Alex, sweetheart, it's okay. It wasn't a gunshot."

"We need to move, now." Kelli said as she walked over.

Olivia stood, her legs still shaky, and began to pull Alex up. "Come on, we're going back to the hotel."

Alex just stared ahead. She was aware of Olivia's arm around her, the brunette whispering in her ear, but aside from that she was numb. It was cold just like it had been the night she was shot, Nick was there with her, and she couldn't get the images out of her mind. Her shoulder had even began to hurt.

The ride back to the hotel was quiet, aside from Olivia whispering to Alex. They raced into the building and up to their room. Olivia helped Alex to the couch and out of her coat, then wrapped her in a blanket. She looked at Nick and Kelli "She had a flashback, it's like she can't shake out of it."

"Maybe we should call a doctor?" Nick asked.

"No." Olivia said as she crouched in front of the blonde "Just let me talk to her." She ran her hands over Alex's arms as she tried to warm her. "Alex, baby? You're okay. It was just a truck backfiring, no one was shooting at you." she could still see the faraway look in those blue eyes, and with each passing moment it worried her even more. "Come on Alex, just look at me." she leaned up and placed a light kiss to Alex's lips.

Alex startled slightly when she felt Olivia's lips on her own. She looked around and tried to get her bearings. The last thing she remembered was leaving the courthouse, now they were back in their room. "Liv?" her voice was shaky, barely a whisper.

Olivia smiled at hearing Alex use the shortened version of her name "Yeah baby, it's me." she glanced over her shoulder then back to Alex "Nick and Kelli are with us. Everything is okay."

"Gunfire." Alex said as her breathing started to become shallow again.

"No, it wasn't. It was just a truck backfire, remember?"

Alex continued to take deep breaths then suddenly jumped up and ran for the bathroom, knocking Olivia over in the process. She barely made it before losing her dinner. It had all been so real; the night air, the cold cement underneath her, Nick shouting, what sounded like gunfire.

"Alex?"

"Leave me alone!" Alex said as she heaved again.

"Oh…um…okay…" Olivia stumbled over her words.

She hadn't meant to but Alex knew her words had hurt the brunette. "Please Olivia, just give me a few minutes." Her voice softer now. Alex stood and looked in the mirror at her paler than usual complexion before brushing her teeth. She cautiously stepped into the bedroom and smiled weakly when she saw Olivia sitting on the edge of the bed. "Sorry."

Olivia stood and cautiously approached her "It's okay." She slowly reached out and took Alex's hands in her own, noting they were still shaking although not as badly as they had been earlier. She stepped closer and slowly wrapped her arms around the blonde, not wanting to upset her any more. Feeling Alex's body shudder she pulled her tightly against her. "Oh baby, it's okay. You're okay."

Alex sobbed into Olivia's shoulder "Is this what the rest of my life is gonna be like? Hitting the pavement anytime I hear something that remotely sounds like gunfire?"

Olivia understood how she felt. Anytime a stranger got to close the memory of her stabbing stood out in her mind. "It's going to get better. I'm here for you no matter what."

Alex shook her head as she held the brunette tight "I don't know if I can do this Olivia, I really don't."

They stayed secluded in the bedroom for a while before finally venturing out to where Nick and Kelli were sitting. Alex apologized to the pair for her breakdown but both assured her it was nothing to worry about. Once making sure they were settled Kelli retreated to her room while Nick was staying the night with them.

Later they were playing cards as a way to try and take everyone's mind off the next day. After losing another round to Olivia, Alex laid her cards down while sighing.

"You're gonna do great." Nick said with a smile.

Alex ran her hands over her face "I should be trying the bastard who shot that little boy."

"You're gonna be back." Nick said sincerely.

Alex stood and began pacing the room "I can't stop thinking like a prosecutor. Connors is going to sit in that courtroom tomorrow, looking like a choirboy. He's going to charm the jury with his Irish brogue, and I have to make them see who he really is, but I don't even know what makes him tick."

Nick gave Olivia a look, they both knew the blonde was nearing her breaking point. He reached into his overnight bag and pulled out a file, holding it out to Alex "You didn't see this file."

Alex opened it, her jaw dropped slightly in surprise but she didn't say anything. Olivia walked over and looked at the file in her hand. It may have been a year and a half since she was last on the job, but she knew a police file when she saw it. They both looked to Nick with wide eyes, knowing the danger he'd put his career in by showing it to her.

He shrugged and gave Alex a small smile "Like I said, you didn't see this."

An hour later Alex and Olivia lay quietly in bed, both contemplating what the next day held. Olivia rolled onto her side facing Alex while reaching down and taking her hand. "You should get some sleep."

"I've never been this scared of going to court. Not even the night before my first time in the courtroom."

"That's understandable, but I have faith in you." she grinned when Alex tilted her head and gave her a small smile. "You're gonna be just fine, and I'll be right in there with you."

Alex turned serious now. "I don't know if that's such a good idea. Connors will see you. What if it doesn't end here? He could tell the cartel and then they'll be after you as well. I can't live with myself if something were to happen to you, especially if it is my fault."

"Alex, I'm gonna be fine. Besides, they've already seen me with you. If they want to get me they already know who I am."

"I don't know if I can do this Liv. I really don't."

Olivia pulled her close and kissed her lightly "You're going to be fine. You are the strongest person I know."

Alex snuggled up as close as she could to her girlfriend, breathing deeply and inhaling her scent. She closed her eyes and tried to push the worry from her mind, hoping she would be able to get some rest.

Olivia had been drifting in and out of sleep when she felt Alex's body jerk suddenly. She quickly rolled over to see the blonde's eye wide open and she was struggling to sit up. Olivia quickly sat up and put one hand on Alex's back while squeezing her hand "Alex, wake up sweetie." Her voice a soothing whisper.

Alex gasped for air as she tried to focus on her girlfriend's voice. "Rachel?"

Olivia gave her a sympathetic smile; it wasn't the first time either one had slipped and used the wrong name since finding out the truth. The look of absolute fear in Alex's eyes broke her heart though. "Alex, it's me, Olivia." seeing the blonde was coming out of her nightmare she cautiously started to slide closer, sighing with relief when she was able to wrap her arms around her. "You're okay."

Alex continued to shake but felt better knowing she was with Olivia. "Are you okay?" her voice a shaky.

"I'm fine."

Alex looked around the room and realized they were in their hotel room. "I was there." Olivia nodded, patiently waiting for her to continue "I was on that sidewalk again, I was dying again. He shot everyone, Nick and Brian, my Dad…" fresh tears began as she looked Olivia in the eye "You."

"Sweetheart, we're all okay. It's all going to be okay." She waited until Alex had calmed before laying back and pulling Alex into her arms.

Alex rested her head on Olivia's chest, listening to her heartbeat. She heard the brunette's words echoing in her mind _'It's all going to be okay.'_ She just wished she could convince herself of that. The night before she'd had a good feeling about their situation and their future, now she wasn't so sure. Right now, she wasn't even sure they had a future.


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: I had hoped to have this up sooner but the one shot I posted a couple days ago just wouldn't allow me. Thank you again for all the reviews as well as the continued follows and faves. I, along with Little Miss Nicap, are so happy that you all enjoy this story. I'm going to do my best to update again soon, but I have to study for a certification for my job so it may limit my time to write. As with the last chapter, I own nothing but my own characters, no infringement intended. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 32

In the early morning hours the city was slowly coming alive while Alex stood next to the window wide awake staring at the street below. She hadn't been able to sleep much and finally climbed from bed to keep from waking her sleeping girlfriend. She knew she had woken Olivia at least once thanks to nightmares, she didn't see the point of both of them not getting any sleep. She had been going over in her mind what she had read in Connors file but being on the witness stand was much different than sitting at the prosecution table.

"I can hear you thinking from over here." Olivia whispered.

Alex turned to see the brunette curled under the covers, her eyes closed, a small smile on her lips. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't." Olivia said as she flipped the covers back on Alex's side of the bed "I don't sleep well when you're not next to me."

Alex smiled as she walked over and climbed back in. She laid down facing the brunette as Olivia pulled the covers over them. "I didn't want to wake you up tossing and turning."

"Another dream?"

Alex shook her head "Just couldn't sleep."

Olivia kissed her lightly on the forehead as she snuggled closer. Alex has woken her several times throughout the night talking or whimpering after the first nightmare, even calling out for Rachel more than once. Olivia never batted an eye at being called the wrong name though. She'd simply hold Alex close and reassure her that she was with her and they were safe. "You're gonna do great today."

"I wish I had your confidence."

They settled into silence, still having a little time before the alarm was due to go off. Alex slipped her hand down and found Olivia's, lacing their fingers together and sliding closer. As nervous as she was about going to court, it was what was coming after the trial that scared her the most. She leaned in and lightly pressed her lips to Olivia's, sighing when she felt Olivia deepen it. When she felt Olivia rolling forward against her she pulled back.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" Olivia was confused.

"I'm not comfortable having sex with Nick being right in there."

Olivia smiled "I just thought we were kissing."

Alex closed her eyes and shook her head while smiling. It still amazed her how well Olivia knew her. "I love you."

"I love you too." Olivia said as she leaned in for a kiss, then rolled onto her back pulling Alex with her.

Alex slid halfway onto Olivia's body and kissed her again, their hands once again joining.

Olivia held the blonde close, feeling the slight tremble in her body. She knew it wasn't caused by what they were doing. She pulled back and looked into the blue eyes she loved so much. She could see the worry and fear there, the need for confidence, the need to be in control of some aspect of a life that felt out of her control. She took Alex's hand, slid it up under her shirt and placed it over her breast. "I know we're not having sex, but I want you to know I'm here. I want you to feel grounded." She rose up and kissed her again "Take what you need."

Alex hungrily claimed Olivia's lips in a passionate kiss. She still didn't understand what she did to deserve the woman next to her but she was more grateful now than ever. She could feel Olivia pouring every ounce of love and faith she had into her kiss. Alex gently cupped Olivia's breast as she drew in every bit of strength the brunette was giving her.

Later as she was getting ready Alex stood staring into the bathroom mirror while a million thoughts ran through her mind. She was vaguely aware of Olivia and Nick talking in the other room as they ate breakfast. As badly as she had wanted the bagels Nick got for her the night before she wasn't sure she could stomach any food that morning. After much coaxing from Olivia she finally managed part of a bagel and some tea. She finished her hair, put on her glasses and took one last look in the mirror before stepping out into the room.

"Hey." Nick smiled as he stood. "Ready to go?"

"As ready as I'm gonna be." She looked down then back to Olivia and Nick "Do I look okay?"

"Well it's no power suit, but you've still got the glasses and 'the stare'." Alex rolled her eyes causing him to laugh. He pat her on the arm "You're going to own that courtroom just like you used to."

She looked to Olivia, the brunette able to hear her silent question. Olivia placed her hands on Alex's upper arms "Beautiful as always."

"Thank you." she took a deep breath then looked Olivia in the eye "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Olivia felt a sudden uneasiness but smiled and nodded as she followed her partner to the bedroom. "What's up?"

"I think I'd rather you stay here instead of going to the courthouse."

Olivia blinked once or twice "I'm sorry?" Alex was about to speak but Olivia cut her off. "Did you just say you'd rather I stay here?"

"Olivia I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"It's just…"

Olivia was confused now "Just what? Did I do something?" she knew better than to ask the next question but she couldn't help it. "Are you embarrassed to be seen with me around your old colleagues?"

Alex's eyes went wide "What? No! I would never be embarrassed to be seen with you. I love you Olivia."

Olivia was trying to hold her tears back "Then why?"

"Because I'm terrified they'll find out who you are, and come after you to get me." Alex said as she tried not to cry. "What if one of Velez's people is in there today and they see you? They want me dead, but who's to say they wouldn't kill you just to torture me." she took a deep breath "Olivia I couldn't live with myself if something were to happen to you."

Olivia pulled her in for a hug and held her tight. "Nothing is going to happen to me." she waited a moment as Alex took a few steadying breaths. "We're gonna be fine."

Alex's mind flashed back to the night before, laying on the sidewalk with Olivia's body on top of hers protecting her. She knew the brunette would protect her at all costs, but that was just as worrisome. "I'm just scared."

"I know baby." Olivia whispered. She pulled back so they were looking eye to eye "And that's exactly why I plan to be in that courtroom. I'm going to support you. If you start feeling nervous or scared just look at me."

"Okay."

After taking a few minutes to calm down and recheck their makeup they reentered the room to see Brian and Kelli waiting with Nick, along with another Marshal. Kelli took a moment to go over what was going to happen once they arrived at the courthouse and how they expected the day to go. "Are you ready?" she asked looking Alex in the eye.

Alex reached down and squeezed Olivia's hand in her own. "I'm ready."

The ride to the courthouse was relatively quiet as Alex mentally prepared herself for what she was about to do. She had caught herself several times while getting ready going over strategy in her head, but had to remind herself it wasn't her job to have a strategy. No matter how many time she reminded herself of that though, she still couldn't shut off the prosecutor part of her mind.

Once again she entered through an underground area then rode the elevator upstairs. Inside some members of the press had already gathered but between the detectives and Murphy, along with the Marshals, they were kept back. They were escorted into a little side room just like the day she arrived.

"Okay Alex, it's just going to be us." Kelli said as she motioned to herself and two other Marshals. "Olivia and everyone else will be in the court room."

Alex pulled Olivia to the side while everyone else turned or looked away to allow them a little privacy. They stood facing one another while holding hands. Alex took a steadying breath and looked her lover in the eye "I can do this."

Olivia smiled "You can do this." she lightly ran her hands up and down Alex's arms "You are the bravest person I know." She took a shaky breath "I'm so thankful every day that I was given the opportunity to meet you, let alone be loved by you."

Alex swallowed her tears, not wanting to look like she'd been crying when she was finally called to the stand. She gently wiped a stray tear from Olivia's face while smiling at the brunette's words. She loved how her voice got higher when she was emotional. "I'm so thankful too."

Olivia leaned in for a gentle kiss, not wanting to mess up Alex's makeup. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Olivia grinned and gave her one last kiss as she turned to leave "Knock 'em dead."

Inside the courtroom Olivia sat with guys from SVU while Mr. Cabot had taken a seat next to her. As they sat listening to the beginning of proceedings for the day, a couple motions filed by the defense, Olivia realized there were parts of her old job she hadn't missed at all. After a few minutes of listening to legal maneuvering and delaying tactics from the defense she realized that defense attorneys were the same everywhere, they'd look for every excuse under the sun to get their client off. She had to smile though as Barba successfully argued against every motion, and won. He seemed very smart and confident in his job, she also liked his sass and sarcasm. Maybe this would go better than they hoped.

When she was called to the stand Alex took a deep breath before entering the courtroom. She took the stand while Kelli and the other Marshals took a seat on the front row behind the prosecution's table. She also knew there were a couple plain clothes officers in the gallery as well as a Marshal stationed just outside the door she'd just entered through. After taking the oath she sat down and looked out, smiling when she saw her Dad and Olivia sitting side by side. She locked eyes with the brunette and received a small smile and a nod.

Olivia blew out a breath as she locked eyes with the blonde. She knew no one else saw it but she picked up on the barely there nod that she received from Alex, letting her know she was okay. They listened as Barba went through his questions for Alex, the blonde a picture of calm and ease. Alex was still nervous but could feel her confidence growing with each passing moment.

"Finally Miss Cabot," Barba said as he walked over and stood next to the witness stand "Would you describe for the jury what happened after you were shot?"

They had gone over this when she prepped with Barba the night before, but she knew it could be the moment that would cause her emotions to take over. She chanced a quick glance to Olivia and felt her body begin to relax when the brunette mouthed 'I love you'. Alex nodded while taking a slow breath "I woke up in the hospital. The Marshals were there. They told me that I was dead, officially, and that the only way they could keep me alive was in Witness Protection." She made sure to look directly at the jury as she spoke.

Barba gave her a sympathetic smile "Thank you." then headed back to his table.

As Kressler rose from the defense table Olivia noticed the shift in Alex's demeanor. She sat up straighter and hoped Alex was able to feel all the love and strength she was sending her. She looked to her side when she felt James lean closer.

"She can't stand him." he whispered with a bit of a smirk "Slimy little jerk."

Alex saw her Dad whispering to Olivia then the brunette smirk, she could only imagine what was going on.

"That sounds like quiet an ordeal." Kressler said as he began walking toward her "I think we're all very moved by your experience."

He hadn't even started his cross yet and she'd already had enough "Do you have a question?"

Olivia perked up now. She hadn't expected Alex to come back at him like she did. She looked to her left and noticed the smirk on Nick and Brian's faces. She suddenly realized that she wasn't watching her partner, she was watching ADA Alexandra Cabot.

The attorney turned around and gave her a grin "Only one. Did you see my client shoot you?"

"I saw his gun aimed at my heart."

"Please Miss Cabot, just answer the question." He suddenly felt like he'd flashed back a few years to one of the many times they opposed one another in court. "On the night you were shot did you see Liam Connors anywhere in the vicinity?"

"No, but he's a coward. He likes to run away. Did you leave a family behind in Ireland, Mr. Connors?" her voice growing but she was still trying to keep it under control.

"Your Honor." Kressler called out, hoping to stop the assault on his client.

Judge Preston looked down at the witness stand, her voice calm but firm "Miss Cabot, please." she thought a lot of Alex Cabot, but it wasn't the first time she'd had to call the blonde out in her courtroom.

"You have absolutely no idea who shot you, do you?" the judge may have urged Alex to tone it down but he wasn't about to let up on the pressure.

"Oh I have an idea. It's the kind of man that likes to rape a woman to make her talk." Alex's voice raising again. Everything she'd read in the file the night before was flying through her mind and she was going to use every bit of it. She caught a glimpse of Barba, his expression a cross between shock and disbelief.

"Let me rephrase the question. Did you see my client shoot you?"

"No. But I know it was him."

"Objection your honor." Kressler called out. He was starting to wonder who was prosecuting the case, her or Barba.

Olivia was watching the exchange in front of her, unable to believe her eyes. She knew Alex had a temper, well she and Alex hadn't any fights, but she and Emily had. She had to admit it was much nicer watching rather than being on the receiving end.

Alex however wasn't done. She knew Kressler wasn't going to do anything other than yell 'objection'. She slid forward in her chair, ready to unload with both barrels. "It takes a lot of balls to shoot an unarmed woman and a sleeping child!"

Olivia shifted in her seat, crossing her legs and hoping she wasn't being obvious. _'Oh shit, this is hot!'_ she tried to shake the thought from her mind, reminding herself that now was not the time to be having them. She looked at the blonde again; seeing how confident she was now, the fire in her eyes behind her glasses. _'Those glasses.'_ she thought _'She had to wear the damn glasses!'_ Olivia shifted again while trying to calm herself down. _'Her Dad is sitting right beside you for crying out loud! Now is not the time to be getting turned on!'_

She was aware of Kressler yelling objection again, but all the impure thoughts she was having about the blonde disappeared when she heard the next words out of Alex's mouth.

"It's too bad your aim wasn't a little better." Alex knew she shouldn't have said it as soon as the words left her mouth, but at that point she was so fired up she didn't care.

Worried looks were exchanged between James, Olivia and the detectives. This was the last thing Alex should've done. Kressler was calling for another objection while Judge Preston banged her gavel to try and regain some control of her courtroom.

"You think you're safe?" Connors shouted, attracting the attention of everyone in the room "They know where you are. You should've stayed dead!"

His words got to Alex but she refused to let it show. As soon as the threat was made the Marshals were on their feet, the guys from SVU and Olivia right behind them. In a matter of seconds Olivia had gone from trying not to get turned on by Alex on the stand to wanting to bash Connors skull in on the defense table.

"Enough!" Preston shouted as she banged her gavel one last time. "We're in recess until Mr. Kressler can control his client."

Kelli looked around "We're getting her out of here now."

Nick, Brian and Murphy headed out into the hall outside the courtroom while Olivia stood and made her way toward the gate that separated the gallery from the rest of the courtroom. One of the court officers escorted Alex over while Barba whispered something to her quickly.

Kelli saw the brunette starting toward Alex and went to stop her "Olivia."

Olivia turned and held her hand up "Don't even start. You can do your job, but I'm not moving from her side." When Alex stepped through the gate Olivia caught her gaze "You alright?" she whispered so only Alex could hear.

"Yeah." Alex's voice was equally low.

Olivia placed her hand on the small of Alex's back as they began walking from the room. She was tense, but more so she was scared. Alex had went toe to toe with a contract killer, teasing him that he hadn't completed the job the first time. Any good feelings she'd had earlier in the day had suddenly disappeared.

The group hurried into the room Alex had been waiting in before she took the stand. Olivia and James stood in the corner with Alex making sure she was okay while Nick, Brian, Murphy and a couple Marshals stood guard outside the door. Kelli waited off to the side, knowing she needed to give everyone a few minutes to calm down.

James waited a moment as he watched the couple hold one another. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that Olivia was the one for his little girl. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked when they finally parted.

"I'm fine Dad." She hugged him quickly.

"I wish you wouldn't have done that." Olivia said with a shake of her head. "Taunting him isn't going to help."

"I had to do something Olivia."

James shook his head "Still just as hard headed as ever."

They all jumped though when the door flew open and Hammond walked in "What were you thinking?!" he rounded the table that was between them "Do you know how much you screwed this case up?" Before he'd made it any further Olivia was in his face.

"You better back the hell up!" as she stepped between him and Alex.

"This isn't your business." he said gruffly.

Olivia clinched her fists to keep from punching the man in front of her "It concerns Alex so that makes it my business."

"She's screwed this case. Just like she did the first time."

Alex knew this was getting worse with each passing moment but part of her knew better than to pull Olivia back. Her Dad gave her a look that said to let it play out. She also didn't miss the slight smirk on his face at watching the brunette defend his daughter.

"She's screwed this case? Who the fuck do you think you are? You've got a lot of balls coming in here and accusing her of screwing this case. If it wasn't for her you wouldn't even have a case right now!"

"That's it!" Kelli said as she stepped between the two. She put her arm over Hammond's chest "You, out, right now." She looked to the brunette "Olivia, back up."

Olivia felt Alex's arm around her waist and began backing off to the corner while Kelli pushed the older man from the room. She took a few deep breaths as she tried to calm down. She was aware of Alex standing in front of her but she was almost afraid to look her in the eye, afraid of what she'd see there.

"Olivia? Baby look at me." Alex coaxed gently.

Olivia slowly looked up and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw nothing but concern reflecting back at her. "I'm sorry Alex, I'm so sorry."

Alex placed her hand on the back of Olivia's neck while gently kissing her forehead "It's okay. I promise."

"Well," Barba said as he swept into the room and laid his briefcase on the table "Based on the shouting I and half the courthouse just heard Connors isn't the only one who needs to calm down."

"Rafael, I'm sorry. I hope I didn't jeopardize this for you. I just…"

He held up his hand while shaking his head. "It's fine." He sighed heavily "And I don't even want to know how you knew those things about Connors." He shot a look to Nick and Brian who were also in the room now, but neither detective looked him in the eye.

They were interrupted by one of the Marshals opening the door and signaling for Barba. He stepped over and spoke to one of court officers before turning back. "We're headed back, you're done for the day." Alex looked confused. "Kressler isn't calling you back to the stand, at least not today. I guess he's afraid his client has already done enough damage."

As Alex and her entourage, as Olivia had come to call them, started toward the elevator the blonde saw Antonio approach and call her name. Alex stooped down to his level "Antonio, I'm so glad you came to court."

The little boy nodded nervously "Is the Ghost in there?"

"He is but he can't hurt you."

"Were you scared?"

Alex gave him a smile "For a minute," she looked over her shoulder to Olivia and the guys "But then I remembered I had friends in there who would protect me. Just like you do."

He gave her a small smile then followed the officers to the courtroom.

"Kid's got a lot of guts." Olivia whispered as they got on the elevator.

Once back in the hotel and alone while changing Alex turned to face her partner "So what was wrong with you in the courtroom?"

"Huh?"

"I looked out one time and you were squirming in your seat."

Olivia blushed a bit as she pulled a shirt over her head "Nothing."

Alex stepped closer; wearing only a bra and jeans, Olivia just in a sweatshirt and her underwear. Alex slipped her hands around the brunette and under her shirt till they were resting on her back. "I know it was something." She could see the look in Olivia's eyes, she knew what she was thinking she just wanted to make her say it.

"I was trying to find some relief because I had no idea seeing you in command of a courtroom would be so hot. It was all I could do to not take you right there on the stand."

Alex grinned as she leaned in closer "If me testifying was that hot, imagine seeing me prosecute a case."

Olivia groaned as she rested her forehead against Alex's "I'd never survive."

Their lips met in a passionate, yet loving kiss. Olivia's fingertips had just slipped into Alex's bra when they heard the door to Kelli's room open. "Damnit." Alex whispered as she pulled away. They took a moment to breathe and calm down before starting to pull back. She pulled a shirt on while Olivia grabbed a pair of jeans. "Once this is over I'm gonna need at least a week alone with you." she said as she kissed Olivia chastely again "That'll be the minimum to get all this out of my system."

"A week alone with you, and very little clothes?" she teased, earning a grin and nod from Alex "Sounds like the perfect way to spend a week."

"What's going on?" Alex asked when she saw Kelli wheeling her suitcase into their room.

"I'm staying in here for the remainder of the trial. Another Marshal will be in my room."

"Why?" Olivia now had a nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach.

The young Marshal looked right at Alex "You told a hired gun for a cartel that he should've had better aim. They know you're alive and if they want to find you I'm sure they know you're staying here. I'm not taking any chances."

"What about the guys?" Alex asked.

"They're good cops, but you are my responsibility. I've never lost a person since I've been on this job and I'm not about to let you be my first."

"Has another threat been made?" Olivia asked as she pulled Alex close.

"Not that we know of."

Alex sighed as she collapsed on the couch "This is nowhere near being over, is it?" she looked to Olivia who was now sitting beside her. "I'm sorry for dragging you into this."

"You didn't drag me anywhere." Olivia smiled while leaning in close "I'm exactly where I want to be." She kissed her quickly on the cheek "Forever, remember?"

Alex sighed but smiled "Forever." She just wished she was able to believe they were going to have forever.


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: As usual, my apologies for the delay in posting. Thank you for sticking with this story. I know Alex may seem a little out of character at times in this chapter, but remember the situation she has found herself in. There is a little happy times in here as well, and for anyone who has seen the finale you know how much we need something to make us smile today. I will make every effort to post again soon. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 33

The days since Alex's testimony were now passing at an agonizing pace. After both hers and Connors outbursts in court the Marshals were taking every precaution necessary to ensure her safety. While their efforts were appreciated, it did make things more difficult for Alex. Visits from her Dad and the guys were practically cut off, phone calls allowed but were being checked to make sure they weren't being listened in on. They had urged Mr. Cabot to accept a protective detail like he and his wife had when Alex was first threatened but he refused. After an impassioned plea from both Alex and Olivia he agreed to an officer being parked outside his house, but he refused an escort. Cabin fever had set in for both women and was making them a little short tempered, mostly with the Marshals but with one another as well.

"You're gonna wear a hole in the carpet." Olivia said, barely looking up from the book she was reading.

"Yeah well." the blonde huffed. She turned and faced her partner who was reading on the bed "How can you read right now?"

"My Mother taught me." Olivia said dryly, with a hint of sarcasm. She looked up and saw the look of annoyance she was receiving and sighed while marking her page then walking over to stand next to the blonde. "I'm as frustrated as you being cooped up in here, but I'm trying my best to keep my mind off it all."

"That's easy for you to say, your life doesn't depend on what happens in that courtroom."

Olivia took a step back, her eyes narrowing at the words that were just spoken. "I'm sorry, what? My life most certainly depends on the outcome of this trial. My life, my future…_our_ life, _our_ future, is riding on what that jury decides."

Alex ran her hands over her face then through her hair "I'm sorry Liv." she slumped back against the window sill. "I just…I just can't take it anymore. I'm terrified of what's going to happen if it's a guilty verdict and even more terrified if it's a not guilty. Then not being able to leave this room it's driving me crazy. I asked Kelli if there was any way I could use the workout room downstairs, just to run on the treadmill for a bit. She said no. I can't take this much longer!" she said as she began pacing their bedroom again. "What if it's not guilty? I'll have to go back into the program again. Where does that leave us? What if it's guilty but the threat is still there? Back in the program. What if it's guilty and I can leave? Where do we go from there? We both had separate lives until a year and a half ago. We have to work all that out and what we're going to do. What if we find out we don't want the same things once it's over?"

Now Alex was frantically pacing the room; her words coming at a fast pace, so fast Olivia was barely able to follow her train of thought. It seemed she was jumping from one topic to the next at break neck speed. Olivia understood the fear, she'd had the same thoughts herself, but she knew she needed to try and calm the blonde before she had a breakdown. "Alex, baby, you need to calm down."

Alex, completely unaware Olivia was even speaking, continued to pace the room, her words coming at a rapid pace.

"Alex!"

Alex froze at the brunette's raised voice. She looked to Olivia and saw the look of concern there. In that moment all her emotions came crashing over her. Her knees gave out, but before she even began to fall Olivia's arms were around her holding her up.

"It's okay." Olivia whispered as she pulled the younger woman to her. She led them over to the bed and took a seat on the edge, holding Alex close as she continued to cry. "It's okay. It's gonna be okay." She kept one arm around Alex's waist while running her fingers from her free hand through her hair. "It's okay sweetheart, just let it all out."

Alex laid her head on Olivia's shoulder and sobbed. She had cried more than once since the day Murphy and Hammond showed up at her door, but this was different. It had all built up till she couldn't take it anymore. She cried for her and Olivia and the situation they found themselves in as well as their future. "It's just…it's just too much."

The sobs had now slowed to silent tears and Olivia began to gently try and wipe them away. "I can only imagine what you're feeling, but Alex you are the strongest person I know. You're gonna get through this. We're gonna get through this."

"It was hard enough the first time." Alex slowly sat up and wiped her own tears but staying as close to the brunette as she could, needing the connection. "Knowing what the cartel was capable of but not knowing if or when they would try something. Now," she sighed and met Olivia's worried gaze "Now it's so much worse. I know exactly what they're capable of, and that's what terrifies me."

Olivia could feel Alex shaking, her face pale. The blonde hadn't eaten much since they'd arrived, only eating what Olivia convinced her to. She was becoming concerned for her partner's health. "Um…" she trailed off, unsure how to ask the next question. She pushed a few strands of hair back that were stuck to Alex's cheeks from the tears. "Uh, do you think we should call a doctor?" seeing the confused look she was getting she continued. "Maybe your doctor, the one here in the city you used to see?"

"Why?"

"I don't know. I thought maybe they could prescribe you something to help you relax a little, something to help your nerves."

Alex pulled back a bit "Oh, so what, I'm crazy now?"

"I didn't say that Alex. All I was suggesting was maybe a little something to help ease your nerves and the stress. I would never even suggest you were crazy." Olivia knew how her suggestion must sound, she'd probably think the same if the situation were reversed.

"I know you wouldn't and I'm sorry for thinking that." she shook her head, it seemed like all she was getting done anymore was apologize to Olivia for something she'd said or done. She didn't deserve this, and Olivia definitely didn't deserve this. "I just feel so on edge, like everything is completely out of my control, which technically I guess it is. I'm not used to this. I know we've talked about it but I've always had a plan, had some sort of control over every aspect of my life. I don't know how to not have control. I feel like at any moment I'm gonna go over the edge and lose it."

Olivia could see the tremble in Alex's hands return and took them in her own. "That's not going to happen," then tilting her head to make eye contact "But if it does I'll be right here to pull you back."

"What'd I ever do to deserve you?" Alex asked as she draped her arms over Olivia's shoulders and allowed the brunette to hold her.

The rest of the day Alex was calmer than she had been earlier in the day but Olivia could still tell she was on edge. They watched movies in an attempt to distract them from thinking about reality. Finally that evening Alex fell asleep, exhausted from not sleeping much at night. Olivia quietly snuck into the room next door. During the day the door to the adjoining rooms was kept open and Kelli spent most of the day in the room with the other Marshal, allowing the ladies some sense of being alone. "I need a favor."

Kelli looked to the other Marshal before back to Olivia. She liked both women but after her time around both of them she'd learned Olivia was as hardheaded as Alex, and extremely protective of the blonde. She braced herself for what she was about to be asked. After hearing the request she tilted her head back and forth "No promises, but I'll see what I can do."

Olivia was thrilled that evening when Alex mentioned she was actually feeling a little hungry. Both having grown tired of the hotel's food, regardless of how good it was, they were allowed to order takeout and a Marshal would bring it to them.

"That was so good!" Olivia groaned as she leaned back in her chair after finishing what Alex swore was the best barbecue in New York City.

"Like I said, best in the city." Alex said as she grabbed a napkin and leaned toward the brunette. "You just have a little sauce." Instead of using the napkin to wipe the sauce from the corner of Olivia's mouth she leaned in and placed her lips on Olivia's mouth, her tongue darting out and licking the sauce.

Olivia slid her hand up over Alex's back and held her in place, smiling when the kiss finally ended "Mmm…way better than a napkin."

Alex grinned mischievously and was about to lean in again when she caught sight of Kelli leaning in from the adjoining room. She sighed and pulled back, annoyed at their lack of privacy. Her annoyance turned to curiosity though when she saw Kelli smile and give Olivia a thumbs up then step back into the other room. "Liv?"

Olivia turned, a bright smile on her face. "I've made arrangements for us tonight."

"What kind of arrangements?"

"We get to use the hotel pool after it closes tonight."

"Seriously?"

"I know it's not much but I figured it would get us out of the room for a little while."

Alex threw her arms around Olivia "You are the best." She pulled back and looked confused "We don't have anything to swim in."

Olivia waggled her eyebrows "We could always skinny dip."

"Will my shadows be there?"

"Just outside the door."

"Can they see inside?"

"A wall of glass unfortunately."

"Damn."

Olivia laughed "I figured we could grab a pair of shorts and shirt we brought to sleep in."

At a little after ten pm they climbed on the elevator and rode downstairs to the pool. After it had closed a few of the security detail checked the area out then gave the all clear. To avoid any complaints from guests about someone in the pool after hours, as well as to aid in their security, Kelli had arranged to have the hall that passed the pool closed off while they were there. Seeing that it didn't lead to any guest rooms or areas that guests would need to access the manager on duty agreed.

They stepped inside and immediately was hit by the smell of chlorine and the slight mugginess that came with an indoor pool. Alex dropped her towel onto a chair and pulled her hair up before walking over and sitting on the edge of the pool. She put her legs in the water and sighed at the feel, not cold but a perfect temperature. "Are you getting in or not?" she asked Olivia who was still on the side.

"I'm comin'." Olivia grinned as she kicked her shoes off then took off running and dove in the water. When she surfaced she smiled brightly at the blonde.

"Show off."

This was exactly what they both needed, to be alone and a little time to forget the craziness that was their life. Alex took her time, treading water and just floating, allowing her mind to relax. Olivia on the other hand was swimming laps within a few minutes of getting in. She'd been on the swim team in high school, one more way to be away from her mother, and living in LA her entire life meant plenty of days at the beach.

"When did you become such a great swimmer?"

Olivia ducked under the water and swam over, surfacing just in front of the blonde "High school swim team. We were city champions two years in a row, and my senior year I placed first in the state swim meet."

"Ooh," Alex grinned "I didn't know I was dating an athlete."

Olivia shrugged "Once upon a time I was an athlete. Even before all this I didn't get to swim as much as I wanted to so I'm a little out of practice." She looked down at the tank top and shorts she was wearing "Plus, this slows you down more than the swimsuits we used to wear." She pulled back and nodded toward the end of the pool "Race ya."

"Not a fair competition considering I'm racing a former state champ."

"I'll give you a good head start. We're going to the end of the pool and back. I'll even let you get over halfway there before I start."

"Oh alright." Alex took off swimming toward the deep end of the pool. She had been a pretty decent swimmer as a kid but rarely had the time or desire to do it as an adult. When she heard Olivia behind her she began swimming faster. She touched the wall at the far end and turned to head back, surprised to be passing Olivia on the way. Feeling more confident that she could have a chance she began swimming as if her life depended on it. Seeing the wall at the shallow end approaching she was glad since her arms and legs felt as if they were about to give out. She chanced a glance over her shoulder and was surprised she didn't see Olivia behind her. She was startled however when there was a splash next to her and Olivia surfaced from where she was underwater.

"See ya at the finish line." The brunette said before leaving Alex in her wake.

When Alex touched the wall, a few seconds after her partner, she was almost out of breath. "You suck."

"Why?" Olivia burst out laughing.

"For giving me a head start and false hope I could win."

Olivia leaned in and pressed their lips together. "Yet you love me anyway." The words barely out of her mouth when Alex splashed her.

"That's very debatable."

They stayed in the pool a while longer, playfully splashing around and eventually just holding one another while in the center of the pool. Olivia pulled Alex to her, the blonde wrapping her legs around Olivia's waist while Olivia's hands rested on her hips. Alex rested her forehead against Olivia's and just breathed. "Thank you."

"For what?" Olivia whispered.

"For this, for everything."

"There's nothing I wouldn't do for you."

Seeing the sincerity in those brown eyes Alex felt tears in her own. "You are amazing."

Once back in the room, and both more relaxed than they had been in days, Alex decided to broach a subject she'd been wondering about. "Remember the night I had to meet Barba at his office?" Olivia nodded. "When I came out you were crying and said you'd tell me later. What upset you so much?"

Olivia took a seat on the bed and crossed her legs, Alex sat in front of her mirroring her position. She sighed before beginning. "I had called Elliot, my old partner in Los Angeles. It was the first time I'd spoken to him since a few days after I was stabbed. After Tyler told me I was free to go home, then everything that went down after that, I hadn't given him a second thought. Since I had time to kill I figured I'd give him a call."

Alex could tell the brunette was upset but she could also see a hint of a smile on her face. "I'm glad you were able to talk to him. How did it feel?"

Olivia grinned slightly "Well, you saw the tears after I hung up. It was good. Bittersweet but good."

"You two were very close, weren't you?" she lightly ran her fingers along Olivia's arm then took her hand.

"Well, you know how partners on the force are, we count on each other to go home at the end of the day. He's a good cop and a great family man, but he can also be the biggest ass I've ever known." This caused both women to laugh. "We've been known to have shouting matches in the squad room, the captain having to separate us from time to time, but I also count him as a good friend. He would always invite me for dinner on holidays or just a random weeknight dinner. His wife is a saint, and she liked me even more once she realized I had absolutely no interest in him. His kids would send me pictures or cards on my birthday."

"You miss him." she briefly wondered if Olivia would rather be back in LA with her friends than with her. She couldn't blame her if she did.

"I do." she squeezed Alex's hand "But there's nowhere I'd rather be than right here with you."

"Can I meet him sometime?"

Olivia smiled brightly "I'm counting on it. I planning on taking you to LA and showing you everything. Spending time on the beach, the great restaurants, taking a drive along the Pacific Coast Highway, window shopping on Rodeo Drive."

"Window shopping?" Alex asked playfully. "Not actual shopping?"

Olivia shook her head. "Sweetheart you have to remember I'm currently a daycare worker who used to live on a detective's salary, I can't afford to shop on Rodeo Drive."

"Damn." Alex feigned disappointment "Thought I'd finally found my sugar mama."

At that Olivia laughed loudly. "Yeah right. I thought it was the other way around. I mean I landed a lawyer!"

When they finally settled in to go to sleep both were feeling much lighter. Yes they were still scared, worried and stressed, but now if felt more manageable. Olivia was about to turn and wrap her arm around Alex when she felt Alex snuggle up to her and wrap an arm around her waist. "What are you doing?"

"Going to sleep."

"I get that but usually our position is reversed."

Alex kissed her neck "I want to hold you tonight. So many nights you've held me, I want to hold you tonight."

Olivia reached down and pulled Alex's hand tighter around her "I certainly won't argue with that."

The next morning both slept in. Their time in the pool seemed to wear them out. Alex opened her eyes and saw the clock said it was almost nine. Seeing that Olivia was still sound asleep she snuggled up to the brunette and closed her eyes.

"Alex."

Alex opened her eyes and looked to where Kelli was standing at the foot of their bed. "What?" now Olivia was awake and watching the younger woman as well.

"Jury's back."

Alex sat up a little followed by Olivia. They looked to one another then back to the Marshal. "They're back?"

Kelli nodded "They have a verdict."


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: So sorry for the delay. I promise it won't be that long between this chapter and the next. I appreciate each one of you who stick with this story, as well as the favorites, follows and reviews. As always there is no infringement intended. And again, a tip of the hat to Little Miss Nicap who had the idea for this story but trusted me with it. I know you've been waiting for an update, I hope it lives up to your expectations. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 34

_"Jury's back."_

Alex could still hear those words echoing in her ears as she got ready. The last week or so had been leading up to this, but now that it was here she wasn't sure she was ready. She had done her best to gauge the jury on the day she was there but she hadn't been able to get a good read on them. One thing she'd always prided herself on as an attorney was her ability to read a jury. And since she had been barred, for her own safety, from attending the trial after Connors' outburst she wondered which way they were going to go. She had put up a fight to attend closing arguments but Kelli had quickly shut her down. She rolled her eyes as she began her makeup, the young Marshal was stiffening her backbone a bit.

Olivia paced the bedroom as she waited for Alex to finish getting ready. This was both the day she'd waited for and dreaded. Her entire life, their life, was hinging on what happened in that courtroom. She had tried her best all morning to not think about what could happen once the verdict was read but she continually pushed the thought from her mind. She couldn't bear the thought of them being separated. Blowing out a breath she walked over the bathroom door that was slightly open. "Alex, baby, you almost ready?"

Alex smiled, she would never tire of hearing Olivia call her baby. Of course she would never tire of calling the brunette baby either. She pulled the door the rest of the way open and smiled "Almost." She tilted her head motioning Olivia to come in.

Olivia pushed the door back up a bit and stood behind Alex, their eyes meeting in the mirror. Olivia placed her hands on Alex's waist "Are you okay?"

"I don't know right now." She kept her eyes on Olivia's and tried to ground herself. "I just keep running through all the what ifs."

Olivia rested her chin on Alex's shoulder, the blonde's slight height advantage causing her to have to stretch just a bit. "Don't think about the what ifs." She slid her arms around Alex's waist as Alex rested her hands on top of Olivia's. "Let's just get through this first."

Alex turned in her arms "Are you trying to tell me that you're not worried? Because your eyes tell me different."

Olivia had to chuckle at how well the blonde knew her. "I am worried, but worrying right now isn't going to do us any good. Right now I am focused on going into that courtroom and hearing them read a guilty verdict on your attempted murder."

"And if it's not guilty?"

Olivia raised her arms and draped them over Alex's shoulders "It won't be." She saw Alex was about to respond but she quickly cut her off. "If it is we'll deal with it but it won't be. I know it's going to be guilty." She leaned in and pressed their lips together lightly once, then twice, before leaning back in for a longer kiss.

Alex smiled as the brunette kissed her and slipped her arms around Olivia's waist to hold her close. On the third kiss she closed her eyes and sighed as Olivia deepened their kiss. She was just beginning to lose herself in the feeling of her partner's lips on her own when she heard it.

"Alex, Olivia?" Kelli asked cautiously.

"Dammit." Alex sighed and rested her forehead against Olivia's. "I swear, it's like a little alarm goes off every time our lips touch."

Olivia chuckled while taking Alex's hand "Ready?"

Taking a deep breath Alex nodded "As ready as I'm gonna be."

The ride to the courthouse was quiet. Like they had before they entered through a back entrance then rode the elevator upstairs where they were taken to a private room to wait.

Ten minutes passed although it felt like an eternity to those who were waiting. As Alex stepped into the hallway and into the courtroom she took comfort in Olivia's hand on her back. Knowing the brunette was there brought her more peace and sense of calm than all the Marshals protecting her did. They took a seat on the second row behind the prosecution's table. The first row was taken up by Kelli and other Marshals. Alex smiled as they filed into their row and took a seat. Olivia was sitting on her right followed by Nick, Brian and Abbie. Her Dad was on her left with Murphy sitting next to him. Behind them was Agent Hammond along with a few other DEA agents, Marshals and NYPD officers from the sixteenth precinct. Just like when she testified there were also plain clothes Marshals and NYPD in the courtroom as well as scattered throughout the courthouse.

Once Judge Preston and the jury had entered and take their seats, Olivia wrapped her left arm around Alex while taking her right hand in her own. They listened to the standard statements made by the Judge before the verdict was read. Each passing moment caused both women to become more nervous. Alex squeezed Olivia's hand tighter and smiled when she felt her Dad pat her arm. _'I'm okay.'_ She mouthed to him.

As the jury read the verdicts on each charge Olivia felt Alex began to shake. She had hoped they would read the verdict for Alex's attempted murder first but it wasn't the case. So far each charge had resulted in a guilty verdict which they were happy about but the only one that mattered to them was the one for Alex.

"On the charge of attempted murder of Alexandra Cabot how do you find?" Judge Preston asked.

"Guilty."

Alex breathed a sigh of relief and squeezed Olivia's hand. She nodded at the judge, the older woman giving her a slight nod in return. The blonde looked to her right and smiled at Olivia who was trying to hold back her tears. She then glanced to everyone else sitting with her, each one smiling in relief at the guilty verdict.

The Marshals were quick to escort Alex out of the courtroom but not before she was allowed the satisfaction of seeing Liam Connors handcuffed and led from the room. "We're having a little celebration in Barba's office." Nick whispered quickly to both women. Alex and Olivia nodded before being escorted from the room.

"I'll see you back at your hotel." Alex's Dad said as she walked by.

Once again they rushed out of the courtroom and back to their waiting SUV. Alex and Olivia were both thrilled with the outcome of the trial and felt as if they could slowly begin to breath. They knew it wasn't over yet but it was beginning to feel as if this whole mess was finally coming to an end.

Olivia stepped into their room and not caring that Kelli as well as another Marshal was present pulled Alex into her arms and held her tight. "I love you."

Alex laughed, feeling lighter than she had in ages. "I love you too."

"You two are so sweet it's sickening." James's voice causing both to laugh.

"Hey!" Alex said as she turned and faced her father "I had to see you and Mom acting like a couple teenagers all those years, paybacks."

"Yeah, well, just keep it PG. You're still my little girl." He smiled but gave both a bit of a glare. "So what happens now?"

"I don't know." Alex said as she backed out of Olivia's embrace and looked toward the door to the Marshals' adjoining room. "I'm waiting on them to come here and tell me. Hopefully it's over but who knows."

"Well, if it's over you're both welcome to come stay with me as long as you need to."

"Thank you." Olivia smiled. She barely knew the man but James Cabot already felt like family.

"As long as I'm not in this damn hotel room I don't care where we go." Then smiling at Olivia "As long as we're together."

"Alex?"

The blonde looked toward Kelli who was standing in the doorway.

"Can you come in here?"

"Okay." Alex squeezed Olivia's hand then looked between her father and the brunette "Here goes."

Olivia and James looked nervously at one another. Olivia had dreaded hearing the verdict, but even more she dreaded what would happen afterward.

"Are you ready for whatever is being said in that room?" James asked, his expression sympathetic yet worried.

Olivia shook her head and gave him a sad smile as she tried to hold the tears back. "I don't know what I'm gonna do if they keep her in the program and I can't be with her." she covered her mouth with her hand for a moment then wiped the couple tears that had spilled over "I love her so much. She's my whole life."

James put his arm around her shoulder before pulling her into a hug. "I may not know what the future holds, but the one thing I do know is that she loves you too Olivia." he looked down and smiled as the brunette blushed. "I haven't been around you two very much but I know my little girl and it is plain as day how much she loves you. Never mind the fact she told me she loves you more than anything in the world."

"I just want to spend the rest of my life with her." Olivia smiled. She wiped her eyes as she began to think about the future they had been discussing before all this happened. "Did she tell you we were about to move in together before this happened?" James nodded. "Actually her lease is up next week, we would've been moving her stuff into our house if we were back home." her expression now turned lighter and her smile grew wider. "We were also talking about maybe having kids one day. We both knew it was still too soon but we at least wanted to talk about it."

James chuckled now. "Kids huh? I like the idea of being a grandpa." Now both were laughing "Maybe a grandson I could take to watch the Yankees?"

"Well," Olivia laughed "I won't make any promises but maybe one day you'll have a grandchild you can take to Yankee Stadium." Then giving him a mischievous grin "Just remember I'm from LA and grew up a Dodgers fan."

James was about to reply when they saw Alex standing in the doorway. There were tears in her eyes but neither was sure what the tears meant. "Alex, honey?" Olivia said as she took a few steps toward the blonde. "What did they say?" Part of her wasn't sure if she wanted the answer to that question.

"Um…" Alex looked to her Dad then back to Olivia "They uh…they said the threat is still there. Velez is still out there and now that one of his best hired guns is going down he's not gonna be happy." Tears began rolling down her face "I'm still in the program."

"Oh baby." Olivia said as she pulled the younger woman into her arms. "It's gonna be okay. We'll figure it out." _'Please God let us figure it out.'_ She guided Alex to the couch and took a seat, holding her partner as she cried.

James stood behind them and placed a comforting hand on their shoulders. He felt their pain, he'd just gotten his daughter back and now it looked like he was about to lose her again. At least this time he'd know she was alive.

A few minutes had passed when Kelli quietly stepped into the room. "I'm sorry to interrupt. We're making final travel arrangements and we'll be leaving soon."

All three nodded quietly. Olivia kept her arm around Alex as she addressed the Marshal. "How long before we leave?"

Kelli clasped her hands in front of her "There's no 'we' Olivia."

Alex's head shot up. "What?"

Kelli cleared her throat and put on her most professional demeanor "It's just you Alex. I'm sorry Olivia but you're not going."

The couple looked to one another, Alex's tears increasing as Olivia felt a fresh round slip from her own eyes "I'm sorry? I'm not leaving her."

"I'm sorry about this, all of this, but you cannot go Olivia. The threat against you has been eliminated, you're free to go."

"And I choose to go with Alex."

"I understand but we cannot allow that. Maybe if you were married." She was cut off by Alex.

"We are in a committed relationship! We were in the process of moving in together! Just because we don't have a piece of paper issued by the state doesn't mean we love one another any less than a married couple." She rubbed her thumb over the ring on her left hand that Olivia had given her for Christmas "We are committed to one another and spending our life together. As far as I'm concerned we are married."

Kelli sighed, even though she agreed with Alex she had procedure she had to follow. "I'm sorry, I really am." she swallowed to hold her tears back. "You have ten minutes."

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**A/N 2: I promise I won't make you wait too long! In the meantime I'll be in hiding!**


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: See, I told you I wouldn't make you wait too long for the next chapter. Thank you for your reviews, so glad you enjoyed! Running off to find Donnelly, Petrovsky or even Preston so they can get married sounds like a good idea. Sadly this takes place in 2005, same sex marriage isn't legal yet. I don't know if this will exactly go as you hope, so I might just stay in hiding for a bit. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 35

Olivia just stared at the empty doorway as Kellie's words echoed in her mind. _'You have ten minutes.'_ This wasn't how it was supposed to go. Yes, they knew there was a chance they could be separated but she had been so sure Alex would be allowed to leave after a guilty verdict. There was no way ten minutes was long enough. For Olivia a lifetime wasn't long enough to spend with Alex. She was jolted back to reality though when she heard Alex sob next to her.

"This can't be happening." Alex sobbed as she fell to the side and her head rested against Olivia's chest. She was aware of Olivia holding her, running her fingers through her hair, trying to sooth her, but she couldn't focus on anything but the fact that she was leaving. She was leaving Olivia.

James leaned over and kissed his daughter's head "I'll be right back." then headed toward the other room.

Olivia could tell by the determination in his walk that he was going to try and change the Marshals' minds. She appreciated the gesture and his support but she was certain he was fighting a losing battle. She tilted Alex's head up and did her best to smile "We'll figure this out."

"Did you not just hear her Olivia?! I'm going back in, you're not. They're splitting us up." her eyes grew wide as the words sank in "We may never be together again! This could be the last minutes we ever get to spend together."

The color had drained from the blonde's face and Olivia was afraid she was either going to be sick or pass out. She gently pushed Alex's head down toward her knees "Deep breaths baby, you're gonna pass out."

"I think I'm gonna be sick."

Olivia rubbed her back soothingly "No you're not."

They looked up when James reentered the room. The tears in his eyes told Olivia he wasn't successful in his plea. He shook his head "I'm sorry, I tried." He walked over and hugged Alex as she stood. "I'll let you two have some time alone."

Alex walked to the bedroom and collapsed on the bed "Time's the one thing we don't have." She glanced up and the look of absolute heartbreak in Olivia's eyes was killing her. Alex knew the same look was in her own eyes. She ran her hands through her hair before meeting Olivia's gaze again. "I'm not going."

"What do you mean you're not going?"

"I'm not going." She wiped her eyes but was still crying. "I'm not going back in the program. I don't care where I go as long as I'm with you. We can go back to Wisconsin, we can go to LA, hell we can go to Alaska for all I care. But I'm not leaving you."

Olivia loved hearing Alex's words that she wanted to stay with her but it also scared her. There wasn't a doubt in her mind the target on Alex's back had grown just since the verdict had been read. "I love you so much Alex but if you do that there's a significant chance you'll be killed."

Alex stood "You'd rather us be separated for God knows how long?" her eyes were wide and her arms crossed over her chest.

"No but at least you'd be safe." The brunette argued back.

"So what was all that 'we'll figure it out, it'll be okay' talk? I thought you wanted us to be together but yet you're okay with me disappearing possibly forever?"

Now the tempers were coming out. Neither wanted to fight but the stress of their situation had pushed them to their breaking point. "I was trying to be supportive!" Olivia didn't want to fight but she couldn't help herself. "I want us to be together Alex, but dammit I want you to be alive too! I want nothing more than to spend my life with you but what kind of life will it be if you're dead within the year?" her tears fell freely, as did Alex's, there was no use in trying to hide them.

Alex stepped closer "Olivia I'd rather have a year of wonderful with you than the rest of my life without you."

Olivia couldn't help the sob that escaped her throat "Maybe it sounds jealous on my part, but I couldn't live if something happened to you. I couldn't go on. It may sound cold on my part but even if we are apart I could somehow deal with it because at least you'd be alive, and I'd have the hope we could be together again someday. Alex you are the love of my life and if spending the rest of my life alone so you can live then that's something I'm willing to do."

Alex pulled Olivia into her arms and held her tight as both sobbed. "I don't want to fight in what little time we have left."

"I don't either."

They held one another as they allowed the realization to sink in that was the last time they would get to hold one another for a while….maybe ever.

"Alex, Olivia." James said from just outside the bedroom, his voice solemn.

"No." Alex said as she pulled back a bit but didn't release her hold on her partner. "No, I can't. I can't do it." she looked at Olivia who was still crying "I can't leave you. I won't!"

James had to fight his tears as he watched the scene in front of him. He loved his daughter and hated the thought of not seeing her again, but what hurt most was seeing the fear both women had over possibly never seeing one another again. He knew how much it hurt to know you'd never see the love of your life again. "I'll see if they'll give you a few more minutes."

Alex fell back onto the bed, pulling Olivia along with her but the brunette managed to stay upright. "This can't be happening. No, no, no. This isn't happening." Alex whispered over and over again.

Olivia had been concerned the blonde was going to be sick or pass out earlier but now she was almost certain Alex was headed toward a breakdown. She dropped to her knees in front of Alex and tried to make eye contact. "Alex, sweetie, I need you to look at me." Alex continued to whisper to herself and not look up. Olivia lightly ran her hands along Alex's arms then along her thighs "Baby look at me." still not getting a response she raised her voice slightly "Alex!"

"Liv?"

Olivia smiled "Yeah, it's me." she took Alex's hands in her own "I need you to calm down, you're starting to scare me."

"Olivia I can't do this." she took quick, shallow breaths.

"Yes you can." Olivia recalled her training from the job and hated having to use tactics she used on victims on her partner. "Alex I need you to take a deep breath." She waited until the blonde had done so before speaking again. "I want you to do me a favor. Look around and tell me five things you can see." Alex looked confused but named five things she could see, ending with Olivia. "Good, now four things you can touch." Again Alex named things she could touch, and again ended with Olivia as she looked at their joined hands. "Now three things you can hear." Once again she complied, and once again ended with hearing Olivia's voice. "Okay, two things you can smell." Alex named their perfumes. Olivia smiled as she could see Alex was calming considerably "Last one, tell me one thing you can taste."

Alex smiled as she leaned forward and kissed the brunette "You."

Olivia chuckled as the kiss broke "Good answer." She could see Alex was still upset but not nearly as bad as she had been "Better?"

"Better than I was."

"Just let me try to talk to them Alex. Maybe we can work something out. I can be pretty persuasive when I need to be." This caused Alex to chuckle. "And if that doesn't work Detective Benson can always make an appearance. From what I've heard she can be pretty scary…and a bitch."

Now Alex was laughing "You are neither of those."

"Ladies?" Kelli cautiously asked.

Olivia stood but never let go of Alex's hand. "Look, I know we're not married. I also know that if we were it wouldn't be recognized by the Feds anyway, but we're no different than any other couple that would be in Witness Protection."

Kelli nodded sympathetically "I understand that but you didn't enter the program as a couple. Had you been together when Alex was shot then it would be different. You were never under threat from Velez, and the threat against you has been eliminated. Trust me, the thought of separating you two is killing me but I have to do my job."

"She's got a target on her back now just like me. She has been with me since I returned to the city. She was in that courtroom every time I was. Liam Connors saw her, and who knows who else saw her. They know who she is and there's not a doubt in my mind that they'll go after her to make me suffer. They may not be able to find me to kill me but hurting her, or killing her, would be fine with them. She is in just as much danger as I am."

Kelli stood silently as she seemed to consider what Alex has just said. She put her hands on her hips and sighed "I'll be back in a few minutes."

Olivia looked at Alex with a smile "Why do I feel like I just got to watch ADA Cabot in action again?"

Alex laughed "ADA Cabot made an appearance so Detective Benson wouldn't have to."

"That was a pretty passionate plea. You think it'll work?"

Alex's face turned serious "If it doesn't I don't know what I'm gonna do."

Olivia closed her eyes and blew out a breath as she thought about their situation. There had to be another way. Alex watched as the brunette's right eyebrow arched a little further, the same one she'd learned was permanently a little higher than the left thanks to a scar from a childhood injury. She also knew that look meant Olivia was thinking hard, and most likely just had an idea. "What?"

Olivia scrambled for her bag and grabbed her phone. She had no idea if this would work but they needed someone in their corner and there was only one person she could think of who could possibly help. Hearing the line picked up on the other end she breathed a sigh of relief. "Tyler? It's Olivia." she gave Alex a nervous look "I need your help."

Alex paced while Olivia talked to the Marshal who had handled her case. Hearing the call end she turned to face Olivia, her arms crossed over her stomach but bringing her right hand up to cover her mouth as she waited "Well?"

A heavy sigh escaped Olivia "He said no promises but to give him a few minutes to see what he could do."

Alex leaned over so she could barely see past the wall dividing the bedroom from the rest of their room. She could hear voices coming from the Marshals' room through their open door and saw Kelli pass in front of it a time or two, the young woman on the phone both times. James kept his spot in the other half of the room, doing his best to overhear what was being said as well as give his best fatherly stare anytime a Marshal looked his way.

"Anything?" Olivia said stepping closer to the blonde.

"Nope." Then a slight smile "Except for Dad doing his best 'you piss my little girl off and I'll have your job' stare."

Olivia chuckled as she pulled Alex close "So that's where you get it from. I like him more and more every day."

"She's coming." Alex whispered as she caught sight of Kelli leaving her room. The couple stepped back into the room a bit, keeping their arms around one another for support. Olivia silently prayed it was good news, at least something in their favor, because if not she was pretty sure it would send Alex into a breakdown.

"Okay, I've made a few calls. As well as received one." She glanced toward Olivia who feigned confusion. "While I agree with every argument you both made, and it breaks my heart to do so, only Alex is to go back into the program."

Alex's knees buckled and she was pretty sure she felt Olivia shaking next to her but the brunette kept a tight grip around her waist. "No."

Kelli held up her hand "Please, let me finish." She took a deep breath "I made phone calls to my direct supervisor as well as further up the chain." She looked to Olivia "I also spoke with Tyler who also made a couple calls. While by policy Olivia cannot go since she was under no direct threat from Velez, I did argue that now she is because of her presence with you in the courtroom. I also pointed out that even though your Dad as well as friends were present they were not staying here in the room with you. If you were being watched, and we have no evidence you were, they would know you are a couple and that puts Olivia in danger as well."

Alex and Olivia looked to one another before Olivia spoke "Okay, so what does that mean?"

"What that means is, Olivia you are still under the protection of the US Marshals. That is if you're willing to accept that protection."

Olivia felt the tears begin again as she opened her mouth to accept.

"Wait a minute!" Alex said cutting her off, drawing a look of shock and confusion from everyone in the room.

"Alex?" Olivia turned to face her. "They just said I could stay."

Alex held her finger up "Hold up, is Olivia going to be able to stay with me or will she be shipped off to who knows where?"

Olivia's eyes widened, she hadn't considered that.

Kelli ran her fingers through her hair, she really liked Alex but there were times she wished she hadn't caught the blonde's case. "If Olivia accepts you will be relocated as a couple."

"I'm in." Olivia said excitedly.

Kelli nodded "Now, before you accept fully you need to understand a few things. You will both have new identities, you can't use the identities you had a few weeks ago. You won't be going back to your homes in Wisconsin. It will be just like it was when you first entered. The only difference is this time we will have someone pack up the belongings at your homes to be moved to your new location." She looked sympathetically to James "Just like before you won't be able to have contact with anyone from your previous life, which includes your life in Wisconsin. Olivia, you were in danger before but you do realize that this threat is more severe than the one before. A Columbian Cartel makes an LA street gang look like preschoolers. Now, that being said, do you accept our protection?"

Olivia looked to Alex sitting next to her and for the first time since the morning they found out about Connors she saw hope in the blonde's eyes. Hearing about the cartel was scary but in that moment she didn't care, all that mattered was she and Alex would be together. "Yes, I accept."

"Alright then. I'm going to finish up in the other room and we'll be leaving."

Both women fell into one another's arms and sobbed. Only now they were tears of happiness not tears of sadness, fear or grief. "Can you believe it?" Alex asked as she pulled back.

Olivia shook her head but was laughing "We're gonna be together, that's all that matters to me."

Suddenly remembering her Dad was in the room Alex turned to see him crying. She stood and pulled him in for a hug. "I'm gonna miss you Daddy."

"I'm gonna miss you too sweetheart." He pulled back slightly and motioned for Olivia to join them pulling her in for a hug as well. He chuckled lightly "Here I was plotting sneaking you two out and rushing you up to Massachusetts so you could get married." This caused both women to laugh as well. "At least I know you won't be alone."

"I hate that you're going to be alone."

"I'll be okay, I promise." He hugged her again "You'll be back though, I know you will."

Alex nodded but was unable to speak. She leaned in closer to Olivia for support.

"Maybe when you come back you'll bring me a little gift?" he grinned and winked at Olivia. It took the brunette a moment, but she laughed through her tears when she realized he was referencing her telling him they'd discussed having kids. He sighed and wiped his eyes "Take care of each other."

"We will." they replied in unison.

One more quick hug with both women and James started to walk away. He turned back to face them "I love you." he made eye contact with each woman. "I love you both."

"I love you too Daddy."

Olivia was barely able to speak. She'd heard the guys say they loved her but it was in a different context than this. When Alex had told her she loved her it was the first time she truly believed it and truly felt loved. Now she had James saying he loved her, and just like the night Alex said it she felt it and believed it. "I love you too James."

With one last smile and a nod he turned and left the room. Once again both women dissolved into tears but they took comfort in the fact that at least they had one another.

A couple minutes had passed when Kelli returned to the room. "Okay, I need both your cell phones." They gave her a slightly confused look but then remembered they would soon have new identities.

"Can I call my old partner and tell him I'm not coming back?" Olivia asked while handing over her phone.

"No. This is just like the last time; no phone calls, no contact. Tyler will be contacting your captain and filling him in on your situation." She gave Olivia a slightly amused look "Imagine my surprise when I received a call from Tyler just a little while ago." She shook her head as started to walk away "Of course if you hadn't been so hardheaded and insisted on going to court even when Alex asked you not to you probably would be here right now."

Once they were alone Alex looked at Olivia "Why do you look like the cat who got the canary?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well like she said, if you hadn't fought me on going to court every time you wouldn't be here." She saw Olivia was trying not to grin. "Oh my God! You purposely went in the hope they would find out who you were and if I had to stay in you could stay with me!"

Olivia opened her mouth but couldn't wipe the proud look off her face. "I went because I wanted to support you."

Alex was in shock but was laughing "I know you were there for me and I appreciate it, but admit it, you planned it that way so you could hopefully stay if I had to stay."

Now Olivia grinned "I may just be a lowly detective but I can still outsmart the Feds."

"I love you so much." Alex laughed as she threw her arms around the brunette.

Five minutes later they had the bags they had arrived with and were standing at the door. Kelli looked to Olivia "This is it, last chance to change your mind. Are you sure?"

Olivia looked to Alex and smiled "Never been surer about anything in my life."

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**Had to keep you worrying for a bit! We're still not done, not even close...still time for angst and drama to arise. Will try not to leave you hanging too long.**


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N: Thank you all so much for your reviews of the last chapter! I know you were a little worried there for a bit. This is a more of a transitioning chapter, getting them to where they need to be. This last week/week &amp; a half have been very difficult and I wanted to write something lighter and happier than the last few chapters. Near the end Alex may seem slightly OOC for a moment but I think you'll understand why, I also think you'll enjoy it. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 36

They had been on the road most of the day and it was now almost ten pm. Both ladies had dozed off in the car and stirred when they felt it stop. "Where are we?" Alex asked sleepily as she sat up and stretched.

"Well, last time I was awake we were in Maryland. I have no idea where we are now."

"Virginia." Kelli answered from the front seat of the SUV.

They climbed out and looked around. Even in the dark they could tell they were in the middle of nowhere. A small two story house stood in front of them surrounded by trees on all sides. "Please tell me this isn't our permanent living arrangements." Alex groaned.

"No, just a stop for the night…maybe two. Besides were not in the middle of nowhere. We're actually just outside DC."

Inside Kelli showed them to the master bedroom upstairs and told them to take some time to do whatever they needed then meet her back downstairs. They took their time freshening up and changing into pajamas and sweats. Both were hoping there would be some dinner waiting as they hadn't had much to eat throughout the day.

"Shit!"

Alex jumped at the sudden outburst from the brunette "What?!"

"Didn't Kelli say they'd have someone pack up our things at home?"

"Yeah."

"So someone will be going through our stuff." Alex nodded, still not sure where the brunette was going. "Our personal things."

"I don't like the idea of some stranger going through my stuff, especially my lingerie, or my underwear drawer but we'll never see them and they'll never see us."

"Alex, think about it. It's not just our closet or our underwear drawers. They'll also have to empty the drawers in our bedside tables." Her eyes were wide and she was nodding her head, trying to get her point across. She saw the light come on in Alex's head.

"Oh shit! They'll find the strap on!" she covered her face with her hands, then one hand moved to her hip while one continued to cover her mouth.

"Not to mention the vibrator."

"I really couldn't care less about the vibrator."

"Seriously?"

"Oh come on Liv, are you telling me they didn't find one when they packed up your LA apartment?" the slight grin on the brunette's face told her the answer. "They found one at my place too, actually more than one, no big deal."

Olivia raised her eyebrows "More than one?" she stepped closer to the blonde and wrapped her arms around her shoulders.

Alex grinned now as well "Sometimes you need a little variety."

"Variety huh?" Olivia looked down as she ran her hands down Alex's arms and rested them on her waist. "Is that why we have those items, I'm not enough variety?"

Alex took Olivia's right hand in her own and pulled it up to her lips "You are more than enough variety. Especially your talented fingers." She said as she lightly kissed Olivia's fingertips. Alex leaned in and pressed their lips together, sighing when she felt Olivia's tongue pressing against her lips. The kiss was brief but both knew if it went on much longer they'd never make it downstairs.

"Did I mention your talented tongue?"

Olivia chuckled "You've got a pretty talented tongue yourself." She then pulled back a bit, putting some distance between them. "If we don't stop now we're not gonna make it back downstairs."

"I don't care. This is the first time I've had alone with you in days." Alex said while leaning in for another kiss. Seeing the look she was getting as she pulled back she sighed "Oh alright."

Olivia smiled and followed behind her.

Alex started to open the bedroom door but turned back "I can't wait for them to get us settled in a new location. I'm in desperate need of that alone time with you I mentioned."

"Same here." Olivia replied as they started toward the stairs.

Kelli was waiting as the pair came down the stairs "Some food was brought here earlier in anticipation of our arrival. It's not much but I made you both sandwiches."

"Thanks." Both said as they took a seat on the couch and began to eat.

"So where do we go from here?" Olivia asked after eating about half her sandwich.

"Well, we'll be here tonight and most likely tomorrow night. That'll give us plenty of time to get your new identities set up as well as where you'll be relocated." The younger woman took a seat in a chair opposite them. "Your personal belongings will be packed up and will be waiting on you at your new home when you arrive."

Both ladies gave one another a slight nervous grin at the thought of what was waiting to be packed up.

"How does that work with our landlords?" Alex asked. "I mean mine new I was moving out but hers didn't." she said nodding toward Olivia.

"Yeah, won't he wonder why I'm not the one breaking the lease?"

Kelli grinned a bit "Let's just say it's not going to be a problem." Seeing the curious look she was getting she decided to elaborate a bit "Some of these homes we own outright, but most of the time the landlords are actually Marshals themselves." Their eyes widened at this news. "Didn't you wonder why there wasn't any questions by your landlord at your sudden arrival, lack of furniture, the fact they never questioned you like a normal landlord would?"

"Never thought about that." Olivia said.

"For all your neighbors would think you decided to move. And with Rachel and Emily deciding to move in together it'll just seem as though you both decided on a new home together."

Olivia sat her plate on the coffee table as she finished eating "I have one question." Kelli nodded. "I know we can't contact people from our old life, and I am okay with that, but what about the people we met as Rachel and Emily? I became very close to my boss, well Rachel's boss, and I know she will be concerned when I don't come back."

"Did she know about your situation?"

"I told her when I found out I could go home."

She then looked to Alex "Did you tell anyone?"

"I may have called my old boss and gave her a quick rundown the night you came to get me."

Kelli sighed, it was never easy with these two. "Okay, give me their names and how to contact them. I will let them know that you are okay and you are safe. You can't contact them anymore though."

Both ladies nodded in agreement.

After their dinner both decided to turn in for the night. They were exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster the day had been, as well as spending most of the evening on the road.

"It's so quiet here." Olivia whispered.

"I know, even more quiet than Wisconsin."

"I guess after being in the city the last few days I got used to the noise at night again." Olivia snuggled closer to Alex "My building in LA was in a nice neighborhood but it wasn't quiet. When I first arrived in Wisconsin I thought I'd go crazy at night trying to go to sleep."

"I know what you mean. I grew up in a quiet neighborhood but after being at Harvard and then the city I got used to all that noise." She turned to face the brunette "You know, even though I miss the excitement of living in a large city, I wouldn't really mind being in a smaller area like we were." She saw the questioning look on Olivia's face and elaborated. "What I mean is, there was plenty to do but it was smaller, it felt…I don't know. I can't explain it. Of course I don't think I'd like to be in the middle of nowhere but a town like Middleton would be nice."

"I think I know what you mean. You got to actually know people, not just some of the people in your building on your block." They were quiet again for a bit "Wonder where we'll end up?"

Alex slipped her hand under Olivia's tee and rested her hand on her back. "Who knows?"

"I hope it's somewhere warm." Olivia chuckled. "Don't get me wrong I loved seeing the snow, it was so beautiful and it was fun to play in, but it was too much. A little snow from time to time I'll be okay, just not every day for days on end."

"I wouldn't mind somewhere near a beach."

"Ooh…I like the sound of that." Olivia grinned while scooting closer. "Getting to see you in a bikini…" she closed her eyes and sighed "That is something I could definitely get used to."

Alex giggled and kissed the brunette quickly "Why get excited about seeing me in a bikini when you already know what's underneath?"

"Well," Olivia slipped her own hand under Alex's shirt and began lightly running her fingers along the blonde's side "I like seeing you in a bikini and while everyone else is admiring how stunningly beautiful you are, I can sit back and smile because I know what's underneath and they never will."

"You're such a sap." Alex replied with a quick kiss. "Of course living near a beach has benefits for me as well." she looked down to Olivia's chest then back up with a sneaky grin "You do fill out a bathing suit quite well yourself."

"It's always about the boobs with you, isn't it?" Olivia laughed.

"Yes ma'am."

They settled into silence again, both feeling sleep begin to overtake them.

"I love you." Alex whispered.

"Love you too." Came Olivia's sleepy reply.

The next day was more relaxing for both. While Kelli spent most of the morning on the phone working out details of what would happen next. After being assured they were in a safe location, Alex and Olivia headed out for a walk around the property. They didn't wander far, not wanting to get too far away or lost as Alex pointed out.

"This reminds me of when we went camping." Alex said as they took a seat on a fallen tree next to a small stream.

"The camping trip you didn't want to go on?"

"No one asked your opinion." Alex replied sarcastically.

"If I remember correctly, you quite enjoyed yourself on that camping trip." A mischievous grin on her face.

"I enjoyed what we did on that camping trip." Alex said as she leaned in close. "Too bad we don't have a tent close by." Then pressed their lips together.

Olivia's hand that had been resting on Alex's knee began slowly working its way up her thigh as the kiss deepened.

"Hey Alex, Olivia?"

"Ah hell!" Alex dropped her head on Olivia's shoulder.

Olivia stood and held her hand out to the blonde. "Just remember, not much longer. Soon we'll be settled in our new home and we can be alone."

As they started up the bank back to the house Alex looked at Kelli standing on the deck "I swear to God, I'm gonna find out where she lives and I don't know how I'll do it, but every time she thinks she's about to get lucky I'm gonna interrupt."

Olivia burst into laughter "Sweetheart, there isn't a doubt in my mind that you will find a way to do that." she kissed Alex's cheek "Besides, there's more important things than getting lucky…isn't there?"

Alex smiled "You're right, although it ranks pretty high on my list right now."

All three took a seat at the kitchen table, Kelli setting a cup of coffee in front of them. "We'll stay here one more night and hit the road tomorrow. I should have your books later this evening."

"How long before we arrive at our permanent location?" Olivia asked.

"A few more days, just like last time. We want you both to have time to study your new identities before you get there."

"So just like last time?" Alex asked and Kelli nodded. "Okay. Do you know where we're going?"

"Not yet, I wouldn't even know just yet. Should know in the next two or three days."

"We couldn't possibly request a location could we?" Alex said with a smile.

Kelli shook her head and grinned "You two are something else, you know that? You've gotten by with way more than I should've ever allowed, and more than most Marshals would've allowed."

"So…that's a no on requesting a location?"

Olivia rolled her eyes at the blonde's request. Alex was determined if nothing else.

"Just be glad you have one another." Kelli said as she stood from her seat.

Olivia covered Alex's hand with her own "We are, more than you'll ever know."

Their day progressed smoothly. The tension that had been between the three women had slowly dissipated now that Alex and Olivia knew they were staying together. Olivia fixed dinner for them and the three shared a leisurely evening watching a movie on television.

"So there's been a delay in getting your identities, you will have them tomorrow. Right now the plan is leave here tomorrow afternoon and head to our next location." Kelli said as she got off the phone.

"What's the hold up?" Olivia sat up straighter, her eyes focusing on Alex next to her.

"Nothing to be worried about, just bureaucratic nonsense. You'll have them tomorrow."

Later in the bedroom Olivia was turning the bed down while Alex brushed her teeth in the adjoining bathroom. She had carefully watched Alex on recent nights, wanting to memorize everything about the blonde in the event they were separated. She smiled now, the realization that they were actually able to stay together finally sinking in.

"You do realize," Alex said stepping from the bathroom "I'll never be able to use our toys again."

"Why not?"

"Do you want to use them after someone else has touched them? All I'll be able to do is think about some stranger handling them."

"Okay, I doubt they'll be touching them. I'm sure when they see what it is they'll try to touch them as little as possible." she then placed her hands on Alex's waist "Besides, are you sure all you'd be thinking about while using them is some stranger touching them?" she leaned in and kissed Alex's neck. "You'd be thinking about some stranger while you're wearing it and I'm riding you?"

"No." Alex moaned as the image of Olivia riding her flashed through her mind.

"That's what I thought." Olivia said with a low chuckle.

Alex pushed the brunette back slightly earning her a confused look "Kelli's room is downstairs, right?"

"Yep, and the living room is below us so she can't hear us."

"Good, because I can't wait any longer." She said as she pushed Olivia back onto the bed.

They wanted to take their time, enjoy the moment, but their need for one another outweighed it. Olivia pushed the covers back as Alex climbed on top of her. Olivia pulled her shirt off then grabbed Alex's and pulled it over her head. Her hands went to the button on Alex's jeans while Alex made quick work of Olivia's.

"This needs to come off." Alex said as she began to pull the straps of Olivia's bra down.

"So does yours."

Finally down to just their panties Alex leaned in and kissed the brunette passionately. "I love you."

"I love you too." Olivia said as her hands roamed Alex's body. She pulled her knees up and spread her legs, allowing Alex to settle between them.

Alex moaned as their centers pressed together. "You know, we're both still wearing too many clothes." She said as she ground herself against Olivia's core.

"Why don't you take them off?" she said as she slipped her hands into the back of Alex's panties and pulled her hips to her. "You've got just the best ass."

"Mmm…thank you. And you've got the best tits I've ever seen." She said before closing her lips around a nipple.

Olivia couldn't help the laugh that escaped. Both froze however when they heard the knock at their door.

"Son. Of. A. Bitch!" Alex groaned as she dropped her head onto Olivia's shoulder. They were now completely naked, having shed their last bit of clothing, the sheet the only thing protecting their modesty. "What does she have against us?" Alex took a deep breath then called out "What?"

"Umm…Alex, we're not dressed." Olivia whispered.

Kelli opened the door then stood still when she saw the sight in front of her: Alex resting between Olivia's raised knees, the sheet covering Alex from the waist down, Alex looking over her bare shoulder with a less than happy look.

"What?" Alex asked again.

"I…I…I'm so sorry…I…wanted to ask you something." Her eyes darting around the room trying to avoid looking at the sight in front of her.

Olivia stared up at the blonde above her, she was grateful that at least Kelli couldn't see her.

"Okay, what did you want to ask?"

Kelli's mouth opened and closed but no words would come out.

"Look, I have the most beautiful woman in the world laying naked underneath me and I really, really want to have sex with her. So unless this is an emergency I think it can wait till morning."

Olivia felt her face grow even hotter as her blush spread.

"Yeah, sure, okay. Uh…have a good night."

"I can't believe you said that!" Olivia said while running her hand over face.

"What? It's true." Alex said while grinding against Olivia.

Olivia placed her hands on Alex's arms then slowly ran them down and back up her body till she was cupping her breasts. "Well…if you really want to have sex with me, let's get this show on the road." Then thrusting her hips upward into Alex's.

There was no foreplay, no taking their time, there would be plenty of time for that later. Right now it was a simple yet strong need for one another. Alex continued kissing Olivia's neck, chest and breasts as she slid her right hand lower. Taking a few moments to make sure she was ready by lightly stroking her "Ready?" Olivia nodded. "How many?"

"Two." Olivia's voice went higher as she felt Alex quickly slip two fingers inside her. Taking a second to adjust she ran her hand down their bodies and between Alex's legs. "That feels wonderful, but why don't you make it three?"

"Ooh." Alex said with a teasing grin, then feeling Olivia's fingers lightly circling her clit "I think I'd like three as well."

Feeling Olivia's fingers buried inside her Alex pulled out of the brunette before quickly sliding back in with the extra digit. Groaning at the sound escaping Olivia's mouth. She leaned in, their bodies pressed together, and whispered in the brunette's ear "I love the sound you make when I first thrust into you."

"Shit!" Olivia grasped the sheet as she tried to hold on, the blonde's words nearly causing her to come undone.

Both knowing they wouldn't last much longer they sped up their ministrations. Olivia continuing to thrust inside the blonde while circling her clit with her thumb, while Alex worked her fingers inside making sure the palm of her hand hit Olivia's. Both women knowing exactly what the other loved and needed.

"Together." Alex said between gasps for air. "We need to do this together."

Olivia nodded as both found that little spot inside each other and sped up their stimulation of their most sensitive area. No more words were exchanged, they weren't needed. Their eyes were wide open and locked on one another's, they knew exactly what the other was thinking...and what the other was feeling. Their climax took over, pushing them both over the edge. A deep moan from Alex with a squeal from Olivia. Alex tried her best to hold herself up but her arm gave out and she collapsed on the brunette. Olivia quickly wrapped her free arm around Alex, holding her close, as their fingers slowed, drawing out every last bit of pleasure from the other.

After a few moments of just breathing Alex finally pulled back and smiled at the look of pure love reflecting back at her. "I love you." she said before kissing Olivia with every ounce of love and passion she had.

When the kiss broke Olivia reached up and pushed a few strands of hair back that was stuck to Alex's sweat slick body. "I love you too, so much."

Alex slid off to the side and they lay quietly for a moment. "You think you have another round in you?"

Olivia chuckled "If you give me a little bit to rest I think I'll have a couple."

Both closed their eyes to rest and recover before their next round. "I'm so grateful you're hear with me." Alex whispered.

Olivia smiled, kissing Alex quickly "Nowhere else on Earth I'd rather be."


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N: My usual apologies for the delay in posting. So glad you enjoyed the last chapter. Moving along a little in this chapter, get some info on their new lives. I will do my best to update soon. Thank you to everyone who continues to read and review this story! Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy.**

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Chapter 37

As the sun began creeping through the curtains of the bedroom window Alex shifted in the bed and blinked her eyes a couple times as she tried to figure out where she was. As the fog of sleep began to clear from her mind she remembered she was in a safe house outside DC. She started to stretch and sighed as her muscles reminded her of their activities the night before. She turned her head to the side and smiled when she saw Olivia already awake and propped up on her pillow against the headboard. "Watching me sleep?"

"It's become one of my favorite things to do over the last year."

Alex smiled as she looked up at the brunette; Olivia's hair tousled from sleep and a look of contentment on her face. Alex grinned as she rose up and placed a kiss on Olivia's lips "You are so beautiful first thing in the morning."

"You're quite beautiful yourself."

Alex settled back down in the bed and wrapped her arm over Olivia's thighs and rested her head against her stomach. "Yeah, but you look especially beautiful the morning after a night last night." She grinned "I love your 'I just got laid' expression."

"Ha!" Olivia threw her head back and laughed, then ran her fingers through Alex's hair. "You should love it since you're the one who put it there."

They stayed that way for a while; Olivia running her fingers through Alex's hair, both enjoying the silence, a peace settling over them at the thought of continuing their life together.

Hearing movement downstairs Olivia shook her head at the memory of the night before "So, you realize at some point we're gonna have to face Kelli."

Alex blushed slightly at the memory. "I can't believe that happened."

"What?" Olivia asked, amusement in her voice "The fact she came in when you answered, or how you responded to her when she did? Telling her how badly you wanted to have sex with me." the brunette laughing now.

Alex groaned and turned her face into Olivia's stomach "I wasn't lying." She smiled when she felt Olivia chuckle. "However, in hindsight maybe I could've responded differently."

Finally climbing from bed they dressed and headed downstairs to start the day. Olivia was about to open the bedroom door when she felt Alex's hand on her own. She looked over her shoulder and saw tears in Alex's eyes, but the blonde was smiling. "Baby?" Olivia asked, turning to face her fully.

Alex laughed as she wiped a stray tear. "I just realized this is real. We're actually together. I used to worry that I would be found and whisked away from you. Then the last several days I was terrified we'd be separated. I just…I can't explain what I feel right now. I know our life is still a mess, we don't know where we're going next, but I don't care. I'm with you and that's all that matters."

Olivia pulled Alex to her, holding her close. "It's all that matters to me too."

Alex pulled back, searching Olivia's eyes "You're sure? No regrets?"

"Not a single one. Staying with you is the best, and the easiest, decision I've ever made." The sincerity in her eyes leaving no doubt in Alex's mind.

Downstairs Kelli was sitting at the dining room table on the phone, files and papers spread out in front of her. She looked up and nodded, covering the phone with her hand. "Coffee is ready, and so is breakfast."

Both ladies were surprised when they stepped into the kitchen to see takeout boxes setting on the counter. Alex poured them each a cup of coffee while Olivia began plating their breakfast.

"Alex, Olivia," Kelli said stepping into the kitchen, a faint blush covering her cheeks. "I sincerely apologize for last night. I know you are tired of having a shadow, someone looking after you all day every day and I should've allowed you that time last night. I don't even remember now what I was coming to ask you. I do hope you'll accept my apology."

Alex glanced to Olivia, fully knowing the brunette was willing to forgive the Marshal. Alex smiled "Apology accepted. I need to apologize as well. I should've never answered as though it was okay for you to enter, and I shouldn't have been so short or so…" she trailed off. "I shouldn't have been so crass. I know I don't always show it but I do appreciate what you've done for me since we met, and I know you've only been trying to do your job." She reached out for Olivia's hand "But most of all, I want to thank you for your effort in keeping us together."

Kelli smiled "While I don't feel you need to apologize I know better than to fight you on it, so apology accepted. I know you may not believe it but I wanted you two to be able to stay together probably as badly as you wanted to stay together. I'm just glad it worked out."

"So are we." Olivia said, slipping her arm around Alex's waist.

They ate quietly for a bit at the kitchen table before Alex finally spoke up. "So where did this come from?"

"A little restaurant nearby. I've been there several times before and they have the best breakfast." She watched as Alex took another biscuit from the box and covered it in gravy "Apparently you agree."

Olivia chuckled "She can eat her weight in biscuits and gravy."

Once they were finished eating Kelli asked them to join her in the living room. Once they were seated she held up two large binders, both ladies immediately recognized what they were.

"Your books with your new identities were delivered this morning. We'll be here the rest of today then catch a flight out first thing in the morning."

"Where are we going?" Alex asked as she stared at the book in front of her, almost afraid to open it.

"Can't say right now. Just like before we'll probably stay in a couple different places before you wind up in your permanent location."

"And our permanent location?" Olivia asked.

"Montana."

Blue eyes met brown, not exactly where they were expecting or hoping. "A northern state again?" Alex sighed "We'd hoped for a little warmer climate."

"I know but this is the location we felt would be best. You're not going to be up in the more mountainous area though, so it won't be quite as cold or snowy." She then pushed the binders across the coffee table to them.

Both took a deep breath then picked up the books and opened them. Alex's jaw dropped when she saw her name while Olivia's face scrunched up. They looked to one another, unsure what to make of each other's expression.

"I take it you're not a fan of something?"

"Who comes up with these names?" Olivia asked as she looked at Kelli, back to the paper in front of her, then back to the Marshal.

"It's not that bad."

"Persephone James?" she looked to Alex on her right who was now also looking a little confused. "Do I look like a Persephone?"

"No, you look like an Olivia but you can't use that name."

Alex shook her head "You've got to be kidding."

"Like I said, it's not that bad."

"It couldn't be as bad as mine." Olivia said with a roll of her eyes.

Alex ran her fingers through her hair "Brandi Lynn McKenzie." She looked to Olivia who was grinning slightly "And its Brandi with an 'i', I'm pretty sure my IQ just dropped 10 points."

"In case you've forgotten, my name ends with an 'i'." Kelli said dryly.

Olivia snickered and was met with a backhanded slap to her thigh. "Sorry." She lightly nudged Alex's shoulder "I think it's kinda cute."

"Okay Brandi, Persephone."

Both ladies slumped a bit, they knew how this worked. They were now Brandi and Persephone, they were no longer Alex and Olivia.

Once Kelli had their attention again she began going over their new identities. "Alright. Persephone, you were born in Washington State but have lived in Oregon since you were a child. You're an only child, Dad was a fisherman, and Mom was a nurse in a local doctor's office. Dad died a few years ago, Mom a year later. And if anyone asks, you were named after your grandmother on your Dad's side." she now turned her attention to the blonde. "Brandi, you were born and raised in Texas. Your Dad worked for the power company, your mom a librarian at the local elementary school. Your parents are retired and you keep in touch with them as much as possible, but don't get to see each other very often."

"When it comes to your recent history. You two met while living in Las Vegas." Both ladies eyes widened.

"How did I get from Oregon to Nevada?" Persephone asked.

"You wanted a change after your parents died. You grew up in a small town and figured Vegas would be the opposite of what you were used to. You were working at one of the casino-hotels as a front desk receptionist, and that's where you two met."

"So help me," Brandi said with an expression she reserved for perps "If you say I was a stripper I will kill you."

Kelli grinned "Well…." seeing the blonde was about to lose it she shook her head. "I'm just messing with you. Brandi moved to Vegas with an ex a few years ago. Soon after arriving you found out you were being cheated on and ended the relationship. Not wanting to go back home and face the people who had tried to discourage you from the relationship you decided to stay. You got a job working one of the tables in the casino. You both began working there about the same time but your paths didn't cross at first. You began dating shortly after meeting and have been together ever since."

"Okay," Persephone said as she flipped through the pages of her new identity. "What made us move to Montana?"

"After an attempted robbery you both decided you wanted to leave Vegas." Both looked at her quizzically, but realization dawned on Brandi first.

"That's how I'll explain my wound."

Kelli nodded. "Your apartment had been broken into while you were both out one evening. When you came home Persephone was surprised in the kitchen by the robber. He grabbed a knife from the counter and stabbed her. Brandi you had left something in the car and was delayed coming upstairs. Just as you entered the apartment you heard Persephone scream. You raced in to see what happened and saw her on the floor. You attacked the robber, knocking him to the floor. A gun fell from his pocket and skidded across the floor. Persephone saw it and attempted to get to it but was unable due to the pain she was in. The robber kicked you back Brandi and scrambled for his gun. You lunged to stop him and he fired, hitting you in the shoulder. He escaped but a neighbor heard the gunshot and came to see what happened. He called the police and stayed with you both until help arrived."

"Was the perp ever caught?"

"Yes, about a week after the incident." Kelli grinned internally as both ladies nodded, no matter how many times their identity changed the prosecutor and detective was still there.

"But why Montana?" Persephone asked again.

"You both wanted to make a fresh start together. So you were looking online for places to live while you both recovered. You came across Billings, Montana and liked what you read about it. Once you had both healed you took a little trip to the area and liked it so well you decided to make the move. You will be living in a suburb of Billings, a little smaller than the city you were in before but I think you'll like it."

She waited a moment and watched as both women allowed everything to begin sinking in, then stood and gave them a sympathetic smile "I have more phone calls to make, so I'll leave you two alone."

Once they were alone Brandi sighed and leaned into the brunette next to her. "I can't believe we're doing this all over again."

"I know." Persephone said as she leaned back and pulled her partner with her. She propped her feet on the table in front of her and stared at the binders on their laps. "At least this time it should be easier. I mean we know what to expect plus, we're not alone this time."

They quietly flipped through the pages, learning their new lives. They were grateful to see Kelli had printed a few pages from travel sites about their new home. It at least gave them and idea of where they would be and things they could do.

As the day wore on they stayed mostly to themselves. Kelli was busy with arrangements on where they were headed next while both ladies continued to study their new lives. They were at least happy to see that where they were headed, while it would be cold and snowy in the winter it may not be quite as brutal as their previous home. They were also glad that it appeared there would be plenty to do for entertainment; from shopping, to the arts, to historical sites. They were also surprised, and happily so, to find out they would be able to keep their hair the color it currently was. While Persephone's wasn't as dark as it had been in the past at least it wasn't blonde anymore. Brandi knew that going back to her natural blonde would just further the stereotype of the 'dumb blonde' between her hair color and her new name, but she couldn't help it. She was already planning once they were settled in on going to a salon and making the final change from her current ash blonde to her natural color.

"What about money until we get a job? Or even a car?" Brandi asked later that evening over dinner.

"We've already closed out your accounts. The money will be deposited into your new accounts once you open them. Your home will be furnished and anything you purchased while in the program is being moved from your old houses to your new one."

The couple shared a knowing grin as they remembered their conversation about what the movers would find when they packed up their 'personal' belongings.

"You'll also have a car to share."

"And I guess the same goes for our jobs as it was before?" Persephone asked. "Nothing to do with our previous line of work?"

"Correct. There are several good businesses in the town where you'll be living so I think you'll have a good shot at a decent job. If not you are only about fifteen miles from Billings so you could also look for work there as well." she then motioned toward her pile of papers still on the dining room table. "I've been looking at some employment opportunities online. I'll print some of the info so you can take a look at it while we're traveling."

Later they lay quietly in bed, both contemplating their new lives. Persephone could tell the blonde was deep in thought, she had a habit of tilting her head back and forth as if she was visualizing what she was thinking about. The brunette rolled onto her side and watched the woman next to her "I can hear the wheels in your mind turning from here."

Brandi grinned "Just thinking."

"About what?"

"Everything."

Persephone draped her arm over the blonde's waist and gently squeezed her side "Wanna tell me about it?"

Brandi sighed. She knew it was senseless to be worried about it but at the same time she couldn't help it. "Promise you won't get mad?"

"Cross my heart." Persephone said while making the motion over her heart.

"Are you sure you're okay with this? With staying in the program?" she was afraid to even make eye contact. It was short lived though when she felt Persephone gently pulling her onto her side so they could face one another.

"I promise you, I'm okay." She reached up and brushed a few strands of hair from Brandi's eyes. "I've told you I'm right where I want to be. Tell me why this keeps bothering you."

"I guess I'm afraid that one day you're gonna realize this isn't what you want. That you're going to wake up and wish you were back in LA with your friends, your squad, chasing down perps and throwing them in jail." She sighed and again averted her eyes, afraid of what she'd see there. "I just worry that I won't be enough."

Persephone gently tilted the blonde's face so they were again making eye contact. She waited until she was sure she held Brandi's attention. "Sweetheart, you are more than enough. You are everything I've ever needed, and more. You're everything I've ever hoped for but never thought I'd have. It still amazes me that someone as wonderful as you would give me a second glance, let alone love me like you do. Do I miss my friends and the guys? Yeah, but if it comes down to you or them, it's you every time."

Brandi took a shallow breath. No one had ever made her feel as loved as the woman in front of her. "I love you." her voice a shaky whisper.

"I love you too." Persephone leaned in for a kiss. "You. Are. It. For. Me." each word was punctuated with a kiss. She smiled as their kiss ended "I don't care if your name is Emily or Alex, or Brandi." She placed a hand on Brandi's chest "I'm in love with the person in here."

Brandi chuckled lightly and wiped her eyes. She kissed the brunette again, her lips lingering for a few moments. "I can't believe we're really doing this."

Persephone pulled her partner closer and snuggled down further in the bed "I'm in this for good. Me and you forever."

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**A/N 2: I hope none of you have the same name as Alex does now. If you do, I meant no offense with the comments she made. Just remember, they may be happy they're together but it doesn't mean they're completely thrilled about their situation. Plus, it could lead to some good natured teasing from Olivia. I mean Persephone. **


	38. Chapter 38

**A/N: Well, I finally managed an update to this one. Thank you to those who read, reviewed and favorite my recent two-shot. I know I say it a lot but hopefully it won't be long before the next update. My co-conspirator and I appreciate all the faves, follows and reviews to this story. We're moving along a bit now. I know some of you were surprised at their new location but I promise, there is a method to the madness. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 38

It had now been over a week since they left the safe house in Virginia. They'd been in multiple safe houses, cars and planes. While there had been no threat to either of them the Marshals were taking every precaution to make sure they weren't followed. This morning they woke up in a small house on the outskirts of Vegas, Kelli informing them since Brandi and Persephone had lived in the city it would be a good idea to have some pictures of them there. While both were exhausted from their travels they did enjoy their day in 'sin city'. Neither were one for gambling but they did enjoy seeing the casinos and trying out a couple restaurants.

Walking down the street looking like any other couple in love, Kelli and another Marshal following discreetly close by, Persephone couldn't help but think about how close she was to California and her home.

Sensing the change in the brunette Brandi squeezed her hand tightly "You okay?"

"I'm fine."

Brandi leaned around a bit and looked in her eyes "You're lying."

She wasn't going to say anything but remembered their promise of no more secrets after the blow up the morning their true identities came out. "I was just thinking how close I am to Los Angeles."

Brandi nodded slowly "You miss home."

Persephone stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and stepped over away from the crowds. "No, I miss Los Angeles." She smiled and took Brandi's hands in her own "You're my home now. Wherever you are is home." sensing the question the blonde was about to ask she shook her head "No, no regrets. I promise you."

Brandi grinned as she leaned in for a kiss "Have I mentioned how much I love you?"

"Once or twice today, but I can handle hearing it again."

"Well I do love you. Very," a kiss "Very," another kiss "Very much." A much longer kiss.

"Ladies? Would you like to have your picture taken?" Kelli asked, giving off the appearance of a kind tourist.

They looked up to see Kelli approach and nod toward Persephone's camera. "Sure, thanks."

They were now standing in front of the famed fountains at The Bellagio. They smiled for a couple shots then took the camera back to take a few of the water show. A quick dinner and they were headed back to the safe house. Persephone had raved about the donuts at a bakery they'd stopped in and she'd begged Kelli to stop there again before leaving the city.

"These are so good! You want one Alex?"

"Just a half of one." The blonde said reaching across the back seat of the SUV.

"What did you just say?" Kelli turned from the passenger seat.

Persephone looked confused for a moment then tilted the bag forward "Um…do you want one?" not realizing what she'd said.

"You called her Alex, and Brandi you answered to it."

Both sighed, it was difficult getting used to new names but they'd been doing pretty well so far. Naturally there were slip ups here and there.

"We're trying." Persephone sighed while Brandi rolled her eyes.

"I know you are and I know it's difficult, you both know it as well, but we're headed to Montana tomorrow. You will be in your new home, your new life. I'm not trying to be a bitch but you've got to try harder. So far you've both done really great but it's different this time. At least before you just needed to get used to hearing your new name. Now you know one another, you have to get used to responding to, as well as calling each other by their new name."

Later in the little safe house in the desert they were making sure everything was packed except what was needed that night, in the morning they'd set out on the last leg of their journey. Brandi closed her suitcase and headed to the kitchen where the brunette was making them tea. "Hey Persephone, I forgot I ran out of shampoo this morning, do you have enough to share?" not receiving an answer she tried again "Persephone?" her partner was staring at the cups in front of her stirring the tea. She lightly touched her arm "Persephone?"

The brunette jumped and took a deep breath as she tried to calm down "You scared me to death!"

"I've been talking to you. I said your name three times."

"Huh?"

"I said 'Persephone' three times, you didn't answer."

She covered her eyes with her hand "Fuck!" she looked into those blue eyes "It's not gonna be any easier this time, is it?"

"Afraid not." Brandi wrapped the brunette in her arms. Trying to lighten the mood she kissed her neck "Ya know, there are certain activities that are legal here in Nevada that's not legal elsewhere."

Persephone turned her head to the side "What?"

"You know, the world's oldest profession." A smirk on her face. "I hear there are places that cater to people seeking those services."

Her eyes widened as she pulled back "Prostitution? Are you suggesting we go to a prostitute?! One of those 'ranches'?!"

"I just…" she laughed.

"I'll have you know," Persephone said pulling her close, her eyes darkening slightly "I'm the only one you're gonna be having sex with for the rest of your life, and you're the only one I'm ever having sex with."

"Ooh…I love it when you get possessive."

Later as they were climbing into bed Brandi's expression turned quizzical "Wait a minute, how do you know about the ranches?"

Persephone laughed "Well it's not because I've frequented them that's for sure." She settled down into the bed "For one, this is a border state to my home state so we just know, plus we encounter people who've been in trouble here. Plus," she smiled "One of the detectives I worked with, Fin, well…he just knows stuff and likes to enlighten us from time to time."

Brandi nodded "Kinda sounds like one of my guys, Munch, a fountain of information…even though most of it was based on conspiracy theories."

"Sounds like they would make good partners."

Both were quiet as the thought about their friends back home. Persephone rolled over and kissed the younger woman goodnight and snuggled close to her.

"I guess we could've always gone and watched some strippers." Brandi whispered into the dark. She had to bite her tongue not to laugh when the brunette rose up suddenly.

"No ma'am, we're not going to a strip club." She pressed their lips together, her tongue pressing against Brandi's lips, sighing when allowed entry. Pouring every ounce of love, lust and passion she had into it. they finally parted, both breathless from the kiss "Why on earth would I pay to see a woman who is mostly plastic strut across the stage in a G-string or less when I can watch the most beautiful woman in the world walk around in mismatched bra and panties? Or even better, one of my t-shirts?"

Brandi shook her head, unable to speak, and pulled her in for another kiss.

* * *

After a plane ride to Wyoming, a stop at yet another safe house, they were finally on their way to their new home. Kelli driving in front of them while Persephone drove their new car, their new used car.

"I wish we still had one of our old cars." Brandi mused.

"I like it. Yeah, I miss my Jeep but it's a decent car." she said of their little Nissan. She reached over and pat the blonde's thigh "You'll be okay without your BMW."

"Oh ha ha." Brandi replied with a roll of her eyes. "So, once we start working are we going to get another? I mean, depending on what they are we may have different hours. I don't want either of us stranded without a car."

"Well," the brunette laughed "We have to find jobs first before we can worry about that." even though she was joking she admittedly was a little concerned about finding a job. They had money from their time in Wisconsin but it would only last so long.

They turned onto a street dotted with a few homes, Kelli's SUV turning into the driveway of a small two story house. They sat in the car for a moment as they stared at their new home. Even though it was two story it appeared to be slightly smaller than Rachel's Wisconsin home. "It has potential." Persephone said while looking at the empty front porch and imagining spending quiet evenings there.

"I think it's cute." She squeezed the brunette's hand "Well Persephone, what do you say we check out our new home?"

As they walked onto the porch Persephone was already taking in their surroundings, the detective in her would never go away. She took note of the lady across the street checking her mailbox, the woman carefully watching them as she did so. "Looks like we have a Mrs. Kravitz on our hands." She said when she noticed Brandi watching her.

"Who?"

"Mrs. Kravitz, didn't you ever watch Bewitched as a kid? Remember she was the nosey neighbor."

Brandi shook her head and smiled "Must've been before my time." she laughed as she received a playful shove from the brunette.

"My ass! I know you've seen it."

"You know you love me."

"You're lucky I do."

Brandi put an arm around her waist and pulled her close "So very lucky."

"Ladies, welcome to your new home." Kelli said as she opened the door and showed them inside. The living room floor was covered in boxes and the furniture sat haphazardly around the room. Both sighed as they realized their work was cut out for them in unpacking and rearranging. "Go ahead, have a look around."

The room was small but felt cozy, a fireplace at one end of the room already had them imagining curling up in front of it. The room opened to a small dining room and beyond it the kitchen. Previously neither would've really cared about their kitchen but since their culinary skills had improved both we glad to see it was quite a nice kitchen.

Kelli pointed down a short hallway "Down here is a half-bath and a small guest room." then pointing to a door off the kitchen "That leads down to the basement. And back here," she led them to a door at the opposite end of the kitchen "Is a mud room slash laundry room that opens up to the patio and back yard." she quickly walked back through the house and pointed to the stairs "The master bedroom and bath is up there."

They walked up the stairs and was surprised to see the entire upper floor open up into a nice sized bedroom. While Brandi looked around Persephone headed to the bathroom "Check this out!" she waited till the blonde joined her "That is an awesome shower," she said while pointing at the glass enclosure with waterfall shower head "And a garden tub." She waggled her eyebrows "More than enough room for both of us."

Walking back into the bedroom they noticed the bed from Rachel's house sitting at the other end of the room "At least we got to keep one of our beds." Brandi then noticed the bedside tables sitting in the corner. The room was full of boxes to be unpacked and her face reddened as she imagined someone touching the items they kept there. Seeing a note on one of them she picked it up, noticing as she did so the drawers appeared to be secured.

'_We secured the drawers so they wouldn't open in transit. After seeing what was inside we figured it would be less embarrassing for all of us to not touch them.'_ it was signed _'The Movers'_ it was followed up by a note at the bottom _'PS: way to go ladies!'_ signed _'the three girls on the moving crew'_

Both ladies were furiously blushing at this point but couldn't help but laugh. "Well, now do you think you'll be able to use them again?" Brandi asked.

"Maybe not tonight, but yeah…we'll definitely use them again."

"So, do you like it?" Kelli asked as they descended the stairs.

"Not much we can do about it if we don't is there?" Brandi asked, but then she smiled "I think we'll be just fine here."

"Would you like for me to stay and help you unpack?"

"You're not staying?" Persephone was surprised.

"No, you two know how this works now so I'm sure you'll be fine. Plus, I'm sure you're ready for me to be out of your hair."

"Well." Brandi smirked at her.

"I'll be staying at a hotel nearby for a couple days just to make sure everything is okay."

They stood at the door and watched as the Marshal left and started down the street. Brandi closed the door then grabbed Persephone, slamming her against the closed door and kissing her with everything she had.

"Wo…wow!" she panted when they finally parted for air. "What brought that on?"

Brandi ran her fingers through her partner's hair "I want to do more than that but we have so much to do here, I just had to get it out of my system."

"Well," Persephone ran her hands over the blonde's waist then down over her hips, pulling her tightly against her "The sooner we get started the sooner we can do more of this." leaning in and lightly tracing her lips over the blonde's neck.

"God Liv, I love you."

And with those words the moment was broken. "Dammit." The blonde whispered.

Persephone placed her hands on either side of Brandi's face while kissing her forehead "Its okay, it's gonna take us both a while."

The rest of the afternoon and evening was spent arranging and rearranging furniture. Finally getting the living room the way they wanted it and the bedroom semi-arranged, it was tolerable…at least to Brandi's standards.

Persephone was just returning from sorting through some boxes, heading to the kitchen for some water. After filling a glass and downing it quickly she looked to the blonde who'd been working in the kitchen. After a near blow up about how things in the bedroom should be arranged they decided to work in separate rooms for a bit. "I'm starving." She said while opening the refrigerator, completely forgetting they'd just moved in. "We have no food." She said looking back from an open refrigerator door.

"No shit."

"Really?" Persephone turned to face the younger woman. "Are we seriously gonna do this? Fight after everything we've been through, everything we've done to stay together?"

Brandi sighed, she was so tired, but the last thing she wanted to do was fight with the one person she loved more than anything. "Sorry. I'm just…I'm just tired, and annoyed, and hungry." at that both grinned.

"I'm sorry too."

"So, we gonna start looking for our new favorite restaurant or go to the store?" Persephone started toward the stairs to change and freshen up.

"Why don't we go out to eat then the store? Because you know, if you shop while you're hungry we leave the store with about three times what we normally would buy."

"Hey!"

Brandi laughed while changing clothes "Sweetheart I love you to death, but if you grocery shop while hungry you leave the store as the proud owner of aisle four. It doesn't matter if we'll eat it or not, you buy it anyway."

"Hey, I've got a healthy appetite." Then kissing the blonde "And we work it off anyway."

Brandi took her hand and led her downstairs and toward the door, grabbing their purses as they did so. "Well, let's have dinner, shop, and get back here so we can get busy working it off."

As they walked out the door, not caring if their neighbors were watching or not, Persephone smacked Brandi's backside causing the blonde to squeal. "Have I mentioned I love the way you think?"


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N: Bet you didn't expect an update this soon, neither did I! I wanted to try and get caught up while I have some free time and didn't plan on updating this chapter today but didn't want to wait either. Thank you for your response to the last chapter. Yes, I know the names are hard to get used to (try writing them!) but it's all part of the story. Guess you'll just have to stick around to see if they ever get to go back to A&amp;O. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 39

The afternoon sun was slowly beginning to shift, causing a slight glare to the dining room table. Persephone stood and adjusted the blinds before returning to her seat. The small table wasn't much but it was currently covered with newspapers and job applications. They had now been in their new home for just over two weeks and neither had yet to find a job. Persephone stared at the papers in front of her; one was a stack of applications, one of today's papers folded to the want ads, and a third was a bank statement with how much money they had. Even though they had a decent amount of money from their time in Wisconsin both were careful as to how much to spend. Ignoring her worry about money, overall their first two weeks in their new home had been very uneventful. In their quest to find work it had allowed them time to drive around town and learn about their new home. They'd also made several trips into Billings, to sightsee as well as job hunt. They'd only met two of their neighbors; the lady across the street whom Persephone still referred to as Mrs. Kravitz in private, even though her name was Mrs. Long, and a young couple, the Adams, who lived next door. The Adams were very nice and had already extended an invite for dinner. Mrs. Long, while polite, still seemed slightly suspicious of them. Neither were sure if it was the fact they were a same sex couple, or if she was just suspicious of new neighbors in general.

Hearing the car pull up out front she leaned back in the chair to stretch. Brandi had been to an interview and she was hoping for good news.

Brandi climbed from the car and grabbed a couple bags from the back. As she turned to go inside she noticed their neighbor across the street looking at her. She gave the older woman a smile and a wave, it was returned but it looked like the woman was muttering something to herself. Brandi shook her head as she made her way onto the porch "Nosey old bat." Upon opening the door she found Persephone waiting for her on the other side, the brunette taking the bags from her hands and leaning in for a welcome home kiss. "Mmm, a welcome home like that makes me want to go out and come back in again."

Persephone smiled but quickly cut to the chase "Well?"

"I got the job!" she smiled while removing her coat.

Persephone sat the bags down quickly and pulled the blonde in for a hug "Oh baby, that's great!" then another quick kiss "I know working the front desk at a hotel wasn't something you wanted but it's better than nothing."

"Oh, I didn't get that job."

Persephone looked confused. "But I thought that's what the interview was for?"

"It was, but I could tell I didn't get it. Pretty much like all the others we've gone on 'don't call us, we'll call you'. I knew it didn't go well. So on my way back I stopped at the library to look for something to read and saw a sign posted they were hiring a librarian. I talked to the head librarian, explained to her we'd moved with jobs lined up but they fell through. She said the position was newly vacated and she was in need of someone soon. Even though I have no librarian experience she was amazed that I have a working knowledge of the Dewey Decimal System, plus she couldn't get over the amount of books I've read. She said I sounded like I would be an asset to them and offered me the job on the spot."

"That's even better, at least you'll be surrounded by something you love."

"The only downfall is the pay is a little less than the hotel job so there's that, but I think we'll manage just fine."

Persephone nodded nervously. Of course any income was better than none at all but would they be able to get by on what Brandi would make until she could find work.

"Are you okay with this?" sensing something was wrong.

Persephone nodded then smiled as a though crossed her mind. "I was just thinking, my gorgeous partner is now a librarian. Do you know what kind of images that brings to mind?" both grinned. "I keep imagining you in a tight skirt, blouse unbuttoned inappropriately low, the glasses…God the glasses, heels and your hair in a bun." She shook her head and laughed "I think I need a cold shower now."

Brandi laughed "Who knows? I might just have to play out that little fantasy for you one night."

"So what's in the bags?" asked Persephone as she made her way to the kitchen.

"I figured we'd celebrate me getting a job. So for dinner how does steak, sautéed mushrooms and baked potatoes sound?" then opening another bag "I also stopped at that little bakery we've been wanting to try and picked up a small cake for dessert."

"We have food here for dinner." Persephone said slightly shocked.

"I know, but I figured we'd celebrate."

"But we need to be careful with our money."

Brandi squeezed the brunette's upper arm "I know, but we have been so far. We'll be fine, I promise. We're not broke or anything like that."

Persephone sighed as Brandi kissed her cheek, effectively ending any argument.

They fell into their evening routine of dinner then curling up on the couch in front of the fireplace. Even though it was March winter was still in the air, especially at night. Relaxing in front of the fire while reading a book or watching something on television had become a nightly habit.

"I forgot to ask earlier, when do you start?"

Brandi looked up from the opposite end of the couch where she was laying "Tomorrow actually."

"That fast?"

"Yeah. My hours will vary from time to time but mostly I will work nine am to six pm, and right now I will work one Saturday a month. The library is only open till seven so she said there may be times I'll have to work till seven. It won't be like it was before, both of us having evenings and weekends together, but it's not as bad as it could be."

Later as they were getting ready for bed Brandi sat on the edge of the bed and began rubbing lotion on her legs, turning to face the brunette as she did so. "What do you think about going shopping this weekend?"

"Hmm?"

"Shopping? This weekend? We haven't really went shopping yet. I mean if nothing else we could do some window shopping. There are some really cute little shops here, and when we were in Billings the other day I saw some places I'd like to check out too."

"Do you really think shopping is such a good idea right now?" Brandi's face was quizzical. "We have to be careful with our money. I'm still not working."

"Why are you so worried? We're going to be fine."

"I know we are, but can't we still be careful? At least for right now?"

"We can be careful and still do stuff. Like I said, window shopping."

"Yeah, but you don't just window shop. You window look, then go in and shop."

Brandi turned around better on the bed "Like you don't do the same."

"I just."

"You're just worried about nothing."

"It's not nothing. Yes, I grew up in a nice apartment, a nice neighborhood. I had new clothes for school every year. But I've also pretty much been on my own since I was sixteen. I've worked ever since. I don't know how not to work. Once I was on my own I had to worry about how the bills would be paid, what I was going to do for groceries. Yeah as a detective I made pretty good money and since it was just me I rarely spent it, but I was always careful to have something to fall back on if necessary. Right now we have nothing to fall back on."

"I had a part time job in college too." Brandi argued.

"That's different than trying to work as many hours as you can to make sure your head stays above water. Not all of us have a rich Mom and Dad to fall back on." As soon as the words left her mouth Persephone regretted it.

Brandi stood "Are you serious right now?" watching the brunette's mouth open and close she didn't give her a chance to respond "I may have had parents who supported me but I was not some spoiled brat. And yes, my parents may have been well off but they earned everything they had. My Dad worked hard every day to provide for us, and my Mom made sure I understood that I was lucky to have everything I did." she was on a roll now, her heart was telling her to stop before she went too far but there was no stopping now "I've worked hard for everything I've ever had. Yes my parents helped from time to time but it was just enough to get by, nothing extra. I'm sorry you had the life you had, that you had to grow up sooner than you should have, but don't get mad at me because of it."

"Brandi I…" she was mad but at the same time Persephone felt she should apologize for what she'd said. She watched as the blonde stood and grabbed a pillow from the bed "You're not sleeping downstairs, are you?"

"No, you are." She handed the brunette her pillow "Guess it's a good thing I made up my old bed in the guest room, huh?"

Persephone wanted to stay and fight. Brandi's comment about her having the life she did had hurt, but she also knew she'd hurt the blonde by basically saying she was a spoiled brat, not to mention the way she talked about her parents. James Cabot was one of the most down to earth men she'd ever met, he was not some snobby rich guy. She wrapped her arms around her pillow and started toward the stairs "Goodnight, I love you." All she received was silence.

She'd tossed and turned most of the night as she thought about their earlier fight. Picking up her watch from the bedside table Persephone saw it was just after two am. Remembering the blonde's comment about her childhood still stung, but at the same time she knew she shouldn't have thrown it out the way she did. She felt guilty. She climbed from the bed and headed for the door. Just as she stepped out of the room and into the hall she jumped "Oh God."

Brandi was equally startled "Shit! You scared me!"

"What are you doing up?"

"I guess I could ask you the same thing." Brandi looked at the floor as she leaned against the wall.

"I was coming to apologize for earlier." Persephone sighed "I really am sorry. I was mad but I shouldn't have accused you of being a spoiled brat. I know better than that, you're one of the most caring people I know. I also shouldn't have talked about your parents the way I did. Your Dad welcomed me with open arms and I consider him family." she wiped a stray tear as she looked at the ground. "My childhood is what it is. I can't go back and change it and while I've accepted it for the most part, sometimes it…sometimes it just…" she swallowed back more tears when she saw them shining in those blue eyes "I guess, sometimes, I still let it get the best of me."

"I'm sorry too." She reached out and took Persephone's hand "I shouldn't have thrown your childhood back at you. I wish you hadn't experienced it, that your Mom experienced what happened to her, but it made you who you are." She pulled the brunette closer "It made the woman I fell in love with."

"I'm so sorry." Persephone pulled the blonde to her, both crying "I love you."

"I love you too." Their lips met in forceful kiss.

Their kiss continued, Brandi's hand going to Persephone's cheek while the other held her waist, Persephone's hand at the back of Brandi's neck tangling in her hair while the other rested low on her back.

When the kiss finally ended Brandi took Persephone's hand in her own and began to pull her along. When she felt resistance she turned back with a questioning look.

"Let's just sleep down here tonight." She grinned "I have some pretty good memories in this bed."

Brandi chuckled "So do I."

They settled into the bed, Persephone setting the alarm on her cell phone, then rolled over to face the blonde "I'm really sorry for messing up your night, especially since you're starting your new job tomorrow."

"I think I'll manage." She snuggled closer to the brunette "I love you so much."

"I love you too." She kissed Brandi's cheek "Forever and always."


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N: Thanks for the response of the last chapter. Yes, they've had their first big fight and handled it pretty well. For someone who's used to working all the time it would be hard on Persephone to be out of a job. Guess we'll see if/when she finally finds one. I think you'll enjoy this one, a little something I think you all will like. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 40

"We have to leave pretty soon!" Brandi called out as she raced down the stairs. It was now her fourth day at the library and she was settling in very well. Surprisingly, one of her favorite parts of the day was when the kids came in the evenings. Some were young who came in with their parents but many were middle school and high school kids. She was shocked that in the Internet age kids still used the library to do research and study like she had, except now they had the advantage of technology. She loved helping the kids with their research, answering questions, or simply talking books and giving recommendations, as well as taking recommendations.

Walking into the kitchen she smiled; Persephone had made her breakfast, just like she had every morning since she started working. The brunette pulled out a chair and sat a toasted scrambled egg sandwich in front of her, along with orange juice and a cup of coffee. She looked up and grinned "Hot sauce?"

Persephone lifted the top piece of toast allowing her to see what was on her sandwich "As if I'd forget."

She pulled her lover down for a kiss "You're the best."

A bright smile "I try."

Brandi began eating while Persephone sat down with her own sandwich and a cup of coffee. "You know, I have to admit I'm getting quite used to this treatment. My little Susie Homemaker. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do if you get a job that requires you to be at work before me."

In the few days since their fight they had talked about Persephone's fears, Brandi's own fears about being able to support them, and were now in a better place. Now they could even joke about it. "Well, if I have an earlier start time maybe you can become Susie Homemaker and make breakfast for me."

"It would be my pleasure."

"So, I'll be here at six." Persephone said as she pulled up in front of the library.

"I look forward to it." Brandi leaned over the console to kiss her. She pulled away but leaned back in for one more. Their lips were just parting, both smiling when the familiar 'whoop-whoop' of a police siren startled them.

"What the hell?" Persephone said looking in the rearview mirror. Over a year later instinct told her to go for her badge but she remembered she no longer had one. She rolled the window down and looked up at the female officer approaching. "Good morning officer."

The woman, who appeared to be in her early thirties, leaned down to look in the window "Ma'am." she eyed both women for a moment then looked to a sign on the sidewalk. "You do realize this is a no parking zone."

Brandi bit her bottom lip to avoid laughing while the brunette looked up and saw the sign.

"Oh, no, I didn't. I'm sorry. I'm just dropping my girlfriend off, I'm leaving now."

"Well, no parking also means no stopping."

Persephone forced a smile "Yes, I know. Like I said, I'm sorry it won't happen again."

"Next time it's a ticket." She looked at both as to make her point then turned and walked away.

Brandi couldn't contain her laughter any longer. "That just made my week!"

"I stopped for two seconds!" Persephone huffed.

"Oh, and you never acted that way when you were in uniform?" she continued to laugh "Harass a poor driver for stopping for two seconds?"

Persephone narrowed her eyes "You think you're so funny, don't you?" Brandi nodded and continued to laugh. The brunette sighed and rolled her eyes "Just get out of the car before she comes back and gives me a damn ticket."

Brandi opened the door, still laughing "Love you."

"Love you too!" Persephone shouted as she quickly pulled away from the curb.

Persephone made a quick trip to the grocery store then returned home for some laundry and housework before heading to another interview. She'd heard back from a couple of the places she'd applied, they all told her they liked her but a more qualified candidate had been chosen.

Later that afternoon on her way back she stopped for coffee, where a building across the street caught her attention. Driving over she realized it was a family refuge center. Getting to the point she was going crazy without a job to go to she went inside to see if they had any volunteer positions. Deciding she could continue to volunteer even after she finds work.

"Can I help you?" a young woman behind a desk asked as she entered.

Experience told Persephone the woman was already eyeing her to see if she was a victim or not. She wondered how many women over the years she looked at in that way. "Um, yes, I was wondering if you had any volunteer positions available."

The woman smiled "We're always in need of volunteers. Just let me call the director."

Persephone wandered around the waiting area, reading a few posters on the wall.

"Hello, my name is Connie Watkins, I hear you're interested in volunteering?"

The brunette extended her hand "Yes, I am. My name is Persephone James." She followed the older woman, who appeared to be about ten years older than her, to her office.

"Can I ask what brings you to us?"

"Well, I'm new to the area and am looking for something to do with my time. I had a job lined up when I moved but it fell through. I'm just waiting to hear back from an interview." It was a slight lie.

"And once you find a job?"

"Oh, I won't back out on you. I may have to cut back on the amount of time I can volunteer but I want to do this."

"Can I ask why?"

Persephone closed her eyes as she pictured Serena, and the many other women she'd encountered while in SVU. She had to struggle not to cry. She placed a hand over her heart, her voice almost a whisper "What you do here, the people who seek this place out, it's a cause that is close to my heart."

The sincerity in her voice was clear to Connie who smiled "Well, I'll need you to fill out some paperwork. I'll also have to do a background check for the safety of the people staying here."

Persephone nodded, she'd been through the same process when she got the job at the daycare.

"If all goes well, we'll see you on Monday."

Their weekend was spent relaxing with one another. Brandi had worn herself out in her first week working, but she thoroughly enjoyed her work this time. She was also thrilled Persephone would be volunteering at a shelter. She knew the brunette was still worried about working but hoped this would help take her mind off of it for a bit.

"So, do you think you'll be able to handle it?" Brandi asked. She was laying propped up against one end of the couch, Persephone resting between her legs leaning back against her.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean working with victims again. It's been a long time since you've been around victims of violence. I just worry how it'll affect you."

"I'll be fine." Seeing doubt she reassured her "I promise."

"And if it gets to be too much?"

"Then I'll stop." She leaned in for a kiss "I promise." Then feeling she needed to lighten the moment she took Brandi's hand and stood "Why don't we go upstairs," turning the lights off and checking the locks "Forget all the awfulness that exists in the world, and pretend it's just us."

* * *

A couple days into the new week and both ladies had settled into a new routine. Persephone would drop Brandi off at the library then head to the shelter to spend most of her day. It broke her heart to see the women and children who were seeking safe haven from an abusive partner or family member. The shelter also had a couple men in residence who were experiencing abuse. She knew from experience that it was hard enough for women to admit abuse, let alone men, so she felt driven to make an extra effort to let them know they weren't alone. She'd only been at the shelter for two days, but after seeing again first-hand the evil one human could bring upon another, it was wearing on her soul. She hadn't felt this exhausted since she left SVU.

Climbing into the car that evening Brandi could see the exhaustion on the brunette's face. She was already concerned about how the volunteering was affecting her and she could see it was taking its toll. She reached out and placed her hand on the back of Persephone's neck, gently massaging it "How are you?"

"Tired."

After arriving home and going up to change Brandi pulled the brunette into her arms and held her. She wanted to ask if she was okay, if she could handle it, but decided against it. It didn't escape her that Persephone was holding her as if she'd float away. "Why don't you lay down and rest while I fix dinner? Then after we'll relax in the tub for a bit, call it an early evening. How's that sound?" a simple nod was all she got.

Later while relaxing in the tub, Brandi sitting in the back while Persephone sat between her legs leaning back against her, Persephone placed her hands over Brandi's that were resting gently on her stomach. While she still thought about what she'd seen in her first two days she also noticed how simply having someone who loved her to come home to made it a little easier to deal with. She wondered if her years in SVU would've been easier if she'd had someone to come home to. A smile spread across her face as she realized it was the woman holding her that eased her soul. Even if she'd had someone back then they couldn't have soothed her in the way Brandi did.

"You wanna talk about it?" she kissed the back of the brunette's head.

"It's just…" sighing as she tried to gather her thoughts "Will it ever stop? I mean how can one person be so cruel to another? And it's bad enough one adult hurting another, but the kids." she tilted her head slightly, tears shimmering in her eyes "How, how can someone hurt a child?!"

Brandi shook her head, it was a question she'd asked herself multiple times after joining SVU. She knew how much it hurt to see a child who had been abused, but she was also pretty sure some of it came from the brunette's own childhood experience with her mother. "I don't know baby. I used to wonder that and it just made me crazy. I'd like to think it'll stop someday. There are a lot of people out there working to stop it. I'm hopeful that one day it'll change."

"There's a couple men in residence as well." she said after a few minutes.

"Really? It's not often that men report."

"No, it's not. I tried to make a point to let them know they're not alone."

"Why are they there?"

"Well, Mike came in Friday night. His wife has been abusing him for a while but he was too ashamed to say anything. He said he never fought back because he was raised you don't hit women. He said as badly as he wanted to hit back he just couldn't. He said he couldn't take it any longer and left." she sighed as she thought about how embarrassed the man looked when he talked to her. "Then there's Dillon, young and abused by his boyfriend. He's been in the relationship for a couple years but came in on Saturday morning after taking the worst beating so far. They took him to the ER, he had a broken arm and was covered in bruises. He also had internal bruising but luckily no bleeding. He's terrified to press charges but I'm hoping he'll change his mind."

Cautiously Brandi spoke up "Are you sure you're okay going back into this?"

Persephone sighed "I have to do it."

* * *

The next afternoon Persephone was straightening up in the common room after playing with a couple of the kids. She missed her kids at the daycare and hated she didn't get to tell them goodbye, but she was already becoming attached to these children. She wished it was under better circumstances. Brandi had kept the car that day and would be picking her up soon, so she wanted to be ready to go when she arrived.

She was standing at the reception desk talking to Amy, the young woman who had welcomed her the day she first walked in, when the door opened and a young man walked in. Amy greeted him but Persephone felt that tingling sensation she used to get on the job when a situation was about to go bad.

"I'm looking for Dillon."

Immediately Persephone's body tensed as she stood a little straighter. She listened as Amy followed protocol of not giving out any info about residents, including not confirming whether or not the person in question was a resident of the shelter.

"Look, I know he's here."

"Sir, I can't help you. Now you'll need to leave."

"I know he's here, so just let me go get him. The longer you hold me up the harder you're making it for him as well as you."

Amy pressed a button alerting the security officer, who unfortunately had just stepped away. Persephone, forgetting she wasn't Olivia, stepped forward and pushed her coat back slightly on the right side. Intending to flash her badge it didn't dawn on her she had no badge to flash. "Listen buddy, it's time to go."

"I'm not going anywhere."

The brunette stepped closer "I said leave." Adrenaline was coursing through her now and she couldn't back down if she wanted to. She was vaguely aware of Connie, as well as Amy cautioning her to back off but she wasn't.

"Bitch you don't tell me what to do." he said before lunging at the brunette.

In an instant she was in Detective Benson mode. She ducked but not quickly enough, feeling the pain of his fist connecting with her jaw in a glancing blow, but she didn't back down. She grabbed at him and attempted to push him against the reception desk but he wiggled free, shoving her back in the process. He lunged at her again but this time she was ready; grabbing his arm and flipping him over, landing on his back on the ground. Before he knew what happened she was on the ground flipping him onto his stomach and holding his wrists behind him.

She looked up when she saw the security guard drop down next to her and secure the man's wrists with zip ties. When she stood several of the workers and volunteers were looking at her with stunned expressions. Connie was the first to approach "Oh my God, are you okay?"

Persephone nodded, her body now shaking a bit from the adrenaline rush. "I'm fine."

Everyone looked up when several officers walked in, one taking the man into custody while the others began taking statements. The officers chuckled when everyone explained how Persephone had subdued him.

Persephone now sat in one of the offices with an ice pack on her jaw as she tried to calm down.

"Where did you learn that?" Connie asked as she walked away from one officer.

"What?"

"You took him down faster than I've seen some of my guards take people out."

Persephone started to grin but realized it hurt "I took self-defense classes years ago."

"Well, we're lucky you did."

Brandi pulled up in front of the shelter and started to worry at the sight of a police car parked in front. While she knew it was nothing out of the ordinary for a cop to be at a shelter like this, it didn't stop her from worrying. Persephone had said she'd be waiting in the reception area but she didn't see her. She was about to approach someone to ask when she caught sight of the brunette sitting in the office. "Oh my God what happened?"

Persephone looked up in time to see the blonde running toward her. "I'm okay, really."

"Bullshit." Brandi said as she crouched down in front of her partner. She reached up and gently placed her hand on Persephone's neck as the brunette removed her ice pack "Oh baby! Are you sure you're okay?"

Even though it hurt Persephone chuckled "I promise I'm fine."

"Who did this?" Brandi's expression changed as her eyes scanned the room.

"A man came in looking for his partner. We asked him to leave, he refused, took a swing at Persephone, and she took him down." Connie smiled.

Both Persephone and Connie were surprised by the blonde's reaction "Where the hell was security?" she shouted as she stood and looked around the room.

Persephone quickly stood and squeezed Brandi's hand "They were here, he'd just stepped away for a minute. It was just coincidence the guy came in when he did." Never one to show much PDA in the workplace Persephone no longer cared, she leaned in and kissed Brandi's cheek "Just calm down. I'm okay."

Brandi took a few deep breaths "Okay." She ran her hand through her hair, willing her body to calm down. "We need to get you to the hospital."

"No, we don't. Nothing's broken. Probably just have a nasty bruise for a few days is all."

"Where is he?"

"Who?" Connie asked.

"The bastard who did this."

"He's already been taken by the cops." Persephone said while gathering her things to leave.

"I want him charged! I want him charged with assault!"

"I'm not pressing charges."

"What?!"

Persephone said goodbye to her colleagues and escorted the blonde back to the car. Once inside she turned in the passenger seat "I'm not pressing charges because we're not supposed to be drawing attention to ourselves. It's bad enough what I might have to deal with from this. I just reacted in the moment, I couldn't help it. Now, it's over and done with."

Brandi nodded as she pulled out of the parking lot. The ride home was quiet, Brandi from her emotions being all over the place at the brunette being injured as well as the dangers she could face while volunteering at the shelter, Persephone out of the pain that had now settled into her jaw. It had been a long time since she'd taken a sucker punch like that.

The rest of the evening was pretty quiet. Persephone's jaw began to swell which made it a little difficult to speak. Connie had called to check in and told her to forget about her shift the next day and take it easy. She was pretty sure they didn't want the residents seeing a volunteer show up bruised. Even though they didn't see what happened she was sure rumors had gotten around. The director also had a question for her.

Brandi took a seat on the couch and handed the brunette some ibuprofen. "Are you sure you don't want to see a doctor? I can see a little blue starting."

The brunette shook her head. "So…Connie offered me a job."

"Really?"

"Yeah, as a security guard." she chuckled lightly at the shocked look she was receiving. "She said after what she saw today, plus the fact they're short a guard, she wanted to know if I was interested."

"And?" Brandi already felling nervous at the idea.

"I told her I'd think about it."

"Will you carry a gun?" Brandi asked cautiously.

Persephone knew what the blonde was thinking. "No, but they do carry a taser." She took Brandi's hand "All I said is I'll think about it. I don't even know for sure if it's something I want. I'm not going to be there for a couple days so it gives time for us to talk about it."

Brandi widened her eyes "Us?"

"Well, yeah… we are an 'us', aren't we?" Persephone was even surprised with herself. After all the years of going it alone and only having herself to consider, she had now grown accustomed to talking a decision through with her partner. She found it surprisingly comforting.

Brandi smiled "Of course we're an 'us'." Her voice betraying her emotions. "I've just never been with someone who wanted to include me in their major decisions."

"I haven't either, until you."

Brandi leaned in and kissed the brunette's good cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too." Persephone grimaced a bit. "But can we just sit here quietly and talk about it later? My jaw hurts like hell."

Brandi kissed her again "Anything for you my love."


	41. Chapter 41

**A/N: Thank you all for your continued reviews, follows and favorites. Especially when I take a while to update. I know I say it a lot, but I will try not to take as long between now and the next update. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 41

Persephone stood in front of their bathroom mirror as she got ready for the day. She turned her head slightly, the bruise on her jaw mostly gone. A little bluish green remained but it was able to be covered with makeup. Today would be her first day back at the shelter since she fought off Dillon's boyfriend. In the days she'd spent at home she'd thought about the job offer to become a security guard. While it wouldn't be the same as being an officer, it did allow her to protect others. She had to admit the idea of the job excited her. In addition to thinking about the offer, she and Brandi had spent many evenings discussing the job and whether or not she would take it. Never in her life had she discussed a major decision like this, she never had anyone to discuss it with. She had known early on she wanted a career in law enforcement but didn't discuss it with Serena, she simply told her. To her credit, in her few sober moments, Serena had expressed her worry about her daughter becoming a cop. Now being in a stable, loving relationship, Persephone found she no longer felt the need to go it alone. She had someone who was by her side, supporting her no matter what.

Downstairs Brandi poured their coffee while listening to the brunette moving around upstairs. She still didn't know what her decision was on the job offer, she wasn't sure Persephone knew yet herself. Hearing Persephone making her way down the stairs she put the lids on their coffee mugs and met her at the bottom of the stairs. She handed the brunette her mug and eyed her carefully. "So…have you made a decision?"

The brunette took a moment before speaking "I'm gonna take it." there was a flicker of worry in Brandi's blue eyes, gone as soon as it appeared, but Persephone caught it "Are you okay with that?"

Brandi placed her hand on Persephone's arm "I told you, it's your decision and I support you no matter what that decision is."

"Yes, and I appreciate that, but you're worried." she reached down and squeezed the blonde's hand "I need to know you're okay with it. Whatever you're feeling or thinking right now, please tell me."

"Okay, yes, I am worried." Brandi sighed and took a seat on the couch, Persephone sitting down next to her. "I know you were a cop and this is nothing compared to that, but I still worry about you. I've been worrying about you since we first began dating."

Persephone narrowed her eyes and tilted her head.

"Once we started dating I was worried something would happen to you and I would be alone again, selfish I know but I couldn't help it. Then after we became serious I was terrified they would find out where I was, and come after you to hurt me. I know that worry won't go away until Velez is dealt with. After what happened the other day I worry about what could happen to you there." She took a deep breath before continuing "I mean, what if it happens again? What if this time they have a gun?"

Persephone nodded "If you don't want me to take the job I won't." she meant it.

Brandi could tell the brunette was serious "I want you to take it, if you want it. I'm going to worry about you no matter what." She grinned slightly "Even if you were flipping burgers at McDonald's I'd still worry." Both chuckled before Brandi turned serious again "Until this whole mess we're in is over I'm going to worry about you."

Persephone understood, she had the same worry deep down as well. "Are you sure you're okay with it?"

"I am." pressing her lips to the brunette's, hoping to convey her love.

* * *

Persephone sat in Connie's office filling out paperwork for her new job. Even though she was offered the job there was still paperwork and formalities before she could officially be hired.

"So, I'll use the background check we ran when you started volunteering for your employment background check." Persephone nodded as she signed the last paper and handed it back. Connie looked them over before handing over another paper "You're going to also have to pass a drug screening but I don't have any concerns about that." Persephone smiled "Here's your paper and directions to the doctor's office that handles the screenings for us." then handing over another paper. "You'll also have to have a fingerprint background check. I know it may sound like a lot since you've already passed one background check, but it is for the security of our residents."

"Of course." Persephone was glad she'd had years of keeping her expressions neutral when she heard she'd have to be fingerprinted. Immediately her mind was racing with the thoughts of what that would mean. Her fingerprints were on file with LAPD, she knew fingerprint background checks were ran by the FBI, she wondered if she'd just blown their cover. Realizing that Connie was still speaking she faced the older woman "I'm sorry?"

"The drug test you'll have to go and do this afternoon. The fingerprinting just call the number on that paper and schedule a time. Of course, I can't actually hire you until both screenings are back."

Persephone took the papers and headed out of the shelter, heading straight to the doctor's office for her drug test. Her mind raced as she wondered about her background check though. Seeing it was nearing Brandi's lunch she called the library hoping she'd be free.

"Hey, what's up?" Brandi asked when she got on the line.

"Are you free for lunch?"

She could hear a slight worry in the brunette's voice "Sure."

They agreed to meet at a little café near the library. When Brandi entered she spotted Persephone sitting at a table in the corner. She could see the worry on her face, and by the way she was nervously playing with her napkin she knew something was wrong. She walked over and laid a comforting hand on the brunette's shoulder before kissing her on the cheek. She took a seat and reached across the table taking Persephone's hand in her own "What's wrong?"

Persephone bit her bottom lip "I think I've screwed up."

"How?"

"I have to have a fingerprint background check for this job."

"Okay." Brandi still not quite following.

"I'm gonna have to be fingerprinted." She whispered while leaning in closer "It's done by the FBI. I'm gonna flag as not being who I say I am!"

"Oh." Brandi sighed and leaned back in her chair. Both were quiet as they thought about the situation the brunette now found herself in. "Okay, so, let's have lunch, then afterwards I'll call Kelli and ask if it's gonna be a problem."

Few words were spoken while they ate, both worrying about what it could possibly mean. The cop part of Persephone's brain however was working overtime. "I guess I could turn it down, but that would just make matters worse."

Brandi furrowed her eyebrows, not quite sure where the brunette was going.

"If I turn it down, after expressing interest and even going as far as to fill out the paperwork, she's gonna think something is up. Never mind I'm turning it down after she tells me I have to be fingerprinted." She looked around to make sure no one had sat down close to them. "You know as well as I do that trying to avoid something like this looks suspicious."

Now in the car after finishing their lunch, Persephone sat quietly while Brandi placed the call to the Marshal. Her mood dropped even more when the blonde turned to her and mouthed 'voicemail'. She listened as Brandi left a message they were fine but needed to speak to her as soon as possible.

"What am I gonna do?"

"Well, I guess we'll wait for her call then we can go from there."

Persephone drove back to the library, making sure to park in the parking area instead of stopping in front, having learned her lesson the first time. Hearing her phone signal a message she pulled it out and read the text. Her face fell as she turned to the blonde. "That was Connie. The place that does the fingerprints just called her to say they will be down for several days to install new equipment and for training. She said I need to go today."

Brandi quickly tried Kelli again but with no luck. Persephone wished she could remember Tyler's number to call and ask him.

Persephone sighed "What am I gonna do?"

"You should go." Brandi said while turning in her seat.

"What?"

"Go. Get printed and we'll let the chips fall where they may." Seeing the brunette was about to argue she cut her off "You're right, if you back out now it'll look suspicious. Go ahead and get it done, and hopefully she'll call us back. Maybe she'll have a way to cover for you." She leaned over and kissed the brunette goodbye "I'll see you this evening. Love you."

"Love you too." Persephone sighed as she drove away, unable to shake the worry from her mind.

* * *

It had now been three days since being fingerprinted. Kelli had finally returned their call late in the evening the day Brandi called. She told them she would not flag as Olivia but she would be notified that the brunette had been printed. It was their way of keeping track of a witness in the event they were arrested. Even though the Marshal had assured them everything would be okay, it didn't keep Persephone from worrying It could still be another two days before the results were back. Of course Brandi had been supportive and did her best to reassure her everything would be okay.

As Brandi walked down the stairs she smiled at the brunette curled up in a chair in front of the fire reading. She walked up behind the chair and lightly rested her hand on Persephone's shoulder "Good book?" her voice a little quieter than usual.

"Oh, yeah. It's about…" Persephone's eyes widened and her jaw dropped slightly. The blonde now stood in front of her wearing a tight black skirt, a red blouse unbuttoned low enough to show off her cleavage, as well as give a hint at the black lace of her bra. Her glasses were on and her hair was pulled up loosely. "Huh?"

"I'm a librarian, shouldn't I be interested in what you're reading?" She had to bite her tongue not to laugh at the look on her lover's face.

"Huh?" the brunette still unable to form a coherent thought, let alone a sentence.

Brandi lightly ran her fingertips along Persephone's arm as she walked behind her again, trailing her fingers across her shoulders and neck. She stopped behind the chair and placed both hands on the brunette's shoulders as she leaned in closer "Well…I love books, and I definitely love you." she then walked back in front of the chair, smiling at the glazed over expression on the older woman's face "I seem to recall you mentioning how hot me being a librarian would be." She placed her hands on each arm of the chair and leaned in close, making sure her shirt gapped enough to allow Persephone a glimpse. Seeing the brunette's eyes dart down the front of her shirt she smirked _'Mission accomplished.'_ "So…am I a sexy librarian?"

Persephone managed to tear her eyes away from looking down the blonde's shirt "Beyond sexy."

Brandi stood and slowly walked behind the chair, and again leaned in "In that case, it's too bad that this is a little unprofessional and I can't dress this way every day." she began to slowly run her hands down Persephone's front, across her chest and lingering on her breasts for a moment before continuing down her abdomen. She was taken by surprise when the brunette turned her head to the left and captured her lips in a passionate kiss. "I take it you're enjoying this?"

"Mmm…" Persephone sighed as she pressed their lips together again. She was just melting into the kiss when she felt Brandi pop the button on her jeans, and her fingertips slip just behind the top of her panties. "Fuck!"

Brandi grinned as she whispered into her ear "That's what we're about to do."

The words had barely left the blonde's mouth before Persephone jumped from the chair and ran upstairs, leaving a laughing Brandi behind.

As the blonde topped the stairs and entered their loft bedroom she grinned at the sight of Persephone trying, and failing, to get out of her clothes as quickly as possible. Persephone stumbled as she tried to pull her leg free from her jeans "Dammit." Finally freeing herself she stepped over and pulled the blonde into a passionate kiss, her arms wrapping around her neck while one hand tangled in her hair.

Brandi placed her hands on the older woman's waist and held her close. Feeling Persephone's hands now making quick work of her shirt she pulled back and smiled "If this is what dressing like this does to you, I'm gonna have to make this my 'around the house' outfit." she said as she unhooked the brunette's bra.

"If that's the case," Persephone said between kisses and removing the blonde's clothing "We'd never leave the house."

Brandi pushed Persephone onto the bed, both now topless. She propped herself up on her left arm and trailed her right hand over the brunette's chest and abdomen "I think I'd be fine with that." she leaned in for another kiss as her fingers slowly traced the band of Persephone's panties before slipping inside and lightly stroking her, the brunette spreading her legs to give her more access.

"Oh God!" Persephone moaned.

"You like that, huh?" her voice teasing.

"I could literally come right now."

"We can't have that, can we?" Brandi asked just before she placed a kiss to the brunette's left breast, then wrapped her lips around its nipple.

Persephone arched her back and let out a high-pitched squeal causing the blonde to chuckle. "Seriously baby, I'm about to lose it."

"Oh all right." Brandi sighed. She withdrew her hand, much to Persephone's dismay, and quickly removed the brunette's panties before resuming her place next to her lover. Her hand immediately returned to where it had been while she placed kisses along Persephone's neck and chest. She avoided the area she knew Persephone wanted her simply to draw out the pleasure.

Persephone closed her eyes and relaxed further into the bed as Brandi brought her closer and closer to her release. She spread her legs further hoping to encourage her partner but Brandi was taking her time. She tried to slow her breathing, to keep control as long as possible, but she knew she wasn't going to last much longer. "Baby, pleaseee." she whispered. Her voice going slightly higher at the end as she felt Brandi's finger lightly graze her clit.

"Are you ready?"

Persephone nodded, unable to speak.

Brandi slipped one, then two fingers, into her lover while using her thumb to lightly rub the small bundle of nerves. Knowing how much the brunette loved for her to whisper in her ear she leaned in close "I love you so much. You're the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm so grateful that I get to spend my life with you." feeling the tremble in Persephone's body she knew the older woman was close. She pulled back for a moment to watch the reactions cross her face, then kissing her soundly. She leaned in and whispered again "Come for me baby. I love you."

With those words Persephone arched off the bed, clutching the sheet with one hand and Brandi's free one with the other, a long, low moan escaping her lips. When she finally managed to open her eyes she looked to her right as she placed her left hand on the back of the blonde's head and pulled her in for a passionate kiss. She barely gave Brandi time to remove her hand before flipping her over and straddling her. "I love you." she whispered over and over in between kisses. She began her descent down the blonde's body, kissing, licking and tasting as she went. She pulled off Brandi's now soaked panties and grinned as the blonde spread her legs for her. She lay down and draped the blonde's legs over her shoulders. Wanting to return the favor of being teased she blew her breath across Brandi's center, grinning as she watched her shudder above her.

"Please."

"Turnabout's fair play." She pressed a slow, open mouth kiss to Brandi's inner thighs. Then, never breaking eye contact, leaned in and ran her tongue from the blonde's center up to her clit and circled it.

Brandi's mouth opened with a high-pitched moan, followed by a string of unintelligible words. She reached down and placed her hand on top of Persephone's head, tangling her fingers in her hair. "So good." She finally managed. "That's it…right there." Feeling Persephone change the speed and amount of pressure she was applying with her tongue "Please…just…unh…"

Feeling the tremble in the blonde's legs, plus the pressure Brandi was placing on her head, she placed her lips on Brandi's clit and began sucking while lightly flicking it with her tongue.

"Oh fuck!" Brandi's hips lifted off the bed but Persephone held her down with a hand on her abdomen. She knew she was there, it wouldn't take much. "Please…I'm there…just like that…a little more…" one more flick of the brunette's tongue and she was falling. Needing to ground herself she grabbed Persephone's hand that was still resting on her stomach. She rode the waves coursing through her as Persephone slowly brought her down. Finally unable to take anymore she gently pulled on the brunette's locks.

Persephone rose up and took in the look of pure relaxation on the younger woman's face. She mouthed 'I love you' before leaning in for a deep kiss.

When the kiss finally ended Brandi pulled Persephone down, the brunette resting her head on her lover's chest. Brandi lightly ran her fingers through Persephone's hair while holding her close. "As incredible as that was, I think I enjoy this just as much."

"Me too." Her voice low. Persephone didn't know what it was, but there was something about lying together after making love that felt more intimate than anything else. "If I could stay like this, right here with you, for the rest of my life…I'd be the happiest person alive."

Brandi kissed the top of her head as she reached down for the sheet to cover them "I couldn't agree more." One more kiss "Nowhere else I'd rather be."

* * *

The next morning the silence of the house was broken by a ringing phone. Being Brandi's Saturday off they usually slept in later than normal. Persephone reached around her bedside table for the phone, finally finding it and not bothering to see who it was before answering.

Brandi, who was barely awake, rolled over to face the brunette. She tried to listen in on her end of the call but her mind was still foggy so she didn't make much out. "Who the hell is calling this early on a Saturday?" she asked when the call ended.

"It's not early, it's actually almost nine." Persephone said as she rolled to face Brandi. Seeing the blonde raise her eyebrows at her unanswered question she continued "That was Connie, she just got an email….my fingerprints cleared." She breathed a sigh of relief.

"So…." Brandi asked, a little more awake this time.

"I got the job! I start Monday."

"Oh baby, that's great!" Brandi leaned in for a loving kiss.

Persephone sighed again with relief as she held the blonde close. She felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Having a job made her feel more secure in their future. It felt as if they were finally settling into their new lives.


	42. Chapter 42

**A/N: Yes, yes, I know it's been a while. My usual apologies. Thank you for your reviews of the last chapter, I'm so glad you liked. I had fun writing this. I think it's about time they had some fun, don't you? Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 42

Persephone looped her arm around the blonde's and snuggled closer as they walked down the street. It was early April and while spring was slowly showing signs of its arrival, the evening air was still chilly.

"I said you should've worn a heavier coat." Brandi chuckled, but at the same time loving the closeness of the brunette next to her.

"I know, but this coat looks so good with this outfit. Besides," she nudged the blonde "I thought you loved it when I wear a leather jacket?"

"I do, and I love that you're willing to sacrifice your comfort to wear something I like."

"As long as you warm me up later."

"Oh, you can count on it." Brandi said with a bright smile as she opened the door to the bar.

They took a seat at a table and ordered a drink while glancing over the menu while waiting for the rest of their party to arrive. In what was becoming a Friday night tradition they went out for dinner and drinks with their neighbors the Adams. Chris and Dana Adams had been so welcoming from the first day they met, and even though Brandi and Persephone were making friends at work they had become fast friends with their neighbors. Life was finally settling down for them now that both were working and becoming comfortable with their new home. Brandi loved her job at the library and had started volunteering an extra hour two days a week to work with the library's after school tutoring program.

Persephone had also settled in well to her job as a security guard. She had lucked out in the position being day shift, but she would stay over to volunteer on evenings Brandi was volunteering. Most days there wasn't much going on, threating phone calls from ex's, occasionally one showing up demanding to see someone but that was it. While the security guards didn't have a lot of interaction with residents, they did see them from time to time. It helped ease their minds knowing the guards were there, especially the kids. The brunette had taken to keeping candy in her locker at work to give out to the kids, she had quickly become a favorite amongst the younger residents.

"Hey guys!"

They looked up and smiled at their neighbors. "Hey."

Chris Adams was in his early thirties; a tall, slightly muscular man with dark hair, a kind smile, and always up for a laugh. Dana was about Persephone's height, with short blond hair and blue eyes. Chris was a paramedic while Dana was a first grade teacher.

"Sorry we're late." Chris said as they took their seats. "Got held up a little at work."

They were halfway through dinner when Dana switched topics "Do you two have any plans for Sunday?"

Blue eyes met brown as they both shook their heads "Not that we know of." Brandi replied.

"We thought we might go out for brunch or something, but that's it."

"Well, I'd like to invite you both to join us at my parents for Easter lunch. It's not a huge crowd, about ten or twelve people at most. We have lunch, an Easter egg hunt for the kids afterwards," then grinning "And the food is out of this world."

Persephone looked to the blonde who nodded slightly "We'd love too."

Having finished dinner Persephone and Dana were at the table talking while Chris and Brandi headed to the bar for more drinks. Knowing someone would have to drive Persephone had limited herself to one beer with dinner. She knew Dana was saying something to her, but she couldn't tear her attention away from her beautiful partner. Brandi was leaning against the bar waiting on their drinks while laughing at something Chris had said, the pair obviously buzzed based on their amount of laughter. To Persephone though, the blonde was absolutely gorgeous. When Brandi smiled or laughed her eyes sparkled in a way that made Persephone melt. As Brandi turned in their direction the country song blaring over the speakers finally got Persephone's attention, the blonde smiling brightly and Persephone couldn't help but feel it was talking about her partner.

'_There's a little bit of devil in those angel eyes. There's a little bit of heaven with a wild side.'_

"Persephone!"

The brunette startled and looked over at her friend who was laughing at her. "What?"

"I've been saying your name but it was like I wasn't even here."

"Sorry."

Dana shook her head, glanced at the bar, then back to the brunette "Don't be sorry." Then looking Persephone in the eye "It's clear how much you love her."

At that Persephone smiled "More than anything in the world."

"So, wonder what our better halves are talking about?" Chris asked as he and Brandi walked back from the bar.

"Us." The blonde said matter-of-factly, then laughed as she swayed slightly but managed to hold onto their drinks.

"Think you two will ever make it official?" seeing the strange look he was receiving he clarified "You know, rings, white dresses, the whole shebang."

"It's not exactly legal for us to do that."

"Yet. It's not legal yet."

A smile slowly spread across Brandi's face which quickly turned to a goofy grin "Well, the minute it is I'm puttin' a ring on it."

By the end of the evening Brandi and Chris had successfully drank themselves into a stupor while their partners wondered how they would get them out of the bar. As they walked out, Persephone wrapped her arm around the blonde as she tried to hold her up. Chris and Brandi were now doing duets of whatever songs came to mind. Brandi suddenly broke from the brunette's grasp as a new song came to mind.

"Awesome song!" Chris shouted and began jumping around on the sidewalk with Brandi as she belted out the hip-hop group Cypress Hill's Insane in the Brain.

Persephone and Dana stared wide-eyed at their partners then looked to one another "We're in for a long night with them, aren't we?" the brunette shook her head as she watched the pair.

"And they're in for a rough morning."

Persephone walked over and wrapped her arm around Brandi, trying to again guide her to their car. "C'mon baby, it's time to go home."

"But we're having fun!" she pouted "Don't you like my singing?"

"I love your singing, you have a beautiful voice." She held tighter as the blonde staggered a time or two "How about this? Let's get in the car and you can sing for me all the way home."

Brandi turned and stepped in front of the brunette, placing her hands on her chest "You're so good to me." she shook her head "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

"You're good to me too." She said placing her hands on the blonde's arms trying to continue her toward the car.

"No, no, I'm not nearly as good to you as you are to me." her words slurring a bit. She took a step back, raised her hands in the air and began bowing "I'm not worthy. I'm not worthy." Now breaking into laughter at her own expense.

"Oh my God! Such an awesome movie!" Chris shouted.

"We arrived with adults, we're leaving with college stoners." Dana said with a sigh as she tried to corral her husband.

"Alright sweetheart, we gotta go." Persephone tried again.

"But I don't wanna go yet, Liv."

Persephone's eyes widened at hearing the shortened version of her real name. She could tell Brandi had no clue what she had said. Her eyes quickly darted to the other couple to see if they had heard it. Based on the odd look on Dana's face she'd heard something. Persephone began to quickly walk the blonde toward the car to avoid any other slips but it was no use.

"I don't wanna Liv!" she pouted and dropped her head on the brunette's shoulder.

"Did she just say 'I wanna live?" Dana asked.

Persephone breathed a slight sigh of relief, thanks to Brandi's slurred words Dana hadn't been able to pick up on what she was really saying. "Uh, yeah, she did." she lifted Brandi's chin with her hand "Sweetie, you're gonna live. You're gonna be fine. Let's just get you home." much to her dismay, flirty Brandi decided to make an appearance at that moment.

"You wanna get me home, huh?" she toyed with the zipper on the brunette's leather jacket.

Seeing this as her best chance Persephone took it. She put her hands on Brandi's waist and grinned "Oh yeah."

"Well…you're gonna have to work for it if you want me that badly." Her tone growing more flirtatious with each passing moment.

"Alright then." In one swift movement Persephone leaned down and put one arm behind the blonde's knees with the other around her waist and lifted her into her arms.

Brandi shrieked then began laughing as her partner carried her to the car.

Dana turned and laughed as she poured Chris into the passenger seat of their car. "I guess that's one way to get her home."

A few people on the street looked their way when they heard the shriek. Brandi laughed and kicked her leg out "That's right, I'm going home with her!"

By the time they made it home Brandi was barely awake. It was a short drive filled with singing, telling Persephone how pretty she was and how much she loved her. Persephone had learned over their time together the blonde could vary between a happy drunk, a sappy drunk, a loveable drunk and a flirty drunk. Tonight, she was getting all of them.

"Hey baby, we're home."

"Mmm…I think I'll just stay here." Brandi mumbled.

"No, let's go inside. C'mon, I'll help you get changed and into bed."

Brandi opened her eyes and smiled while placing a hand on the brunette's thigh "Always trying to get me into bed aren't you?"

"You know me."

Brandi began to chuckle "Too bad I'm so tired tonight." She leaned over the console "Because if I wasn't I would rock. Your. World!" she then burst into laughter.

"Okay." Persephone said as she climbed from the car and made her way around "I hate that I'm gonna miss that." she opened the passenger door and held out her hands to the blonde.

"No, I'm too tired."

"Well I'm not carrying you."

"Please don't make me walk! My legs are begging you."

Persephone leaned down "I am not carrying you. Our luck Mrs. Kravitz would be up to pee and look out and see us. She'd probably think I'd killed you or something. Next thing you know, the cops will be at our door."

"Oh alright." Brandi sighed as she finally managed to climb from the car.

After much stumbling and staggering they finally made it upstairs. Brandi looked around the room "I need to pee like so bad!"

"Not here!" Persephone quickly pushed her into the bathroom.

Ten minutes later Persephone was helping the blonde into her pajamas, and into bed. Brandi was barely on her feet, the brunette certain her partner was about to pass out. "Okay, hold your arms up so I can get your shirt on."

"Your sooo good to me." the blonde mumbled. "I love you sooooo much."

"I love you too."

"I'm never leaving you. I'm gonna be with you forever and ever and ever." Punctuating each word with a tap to the brunette's heart.

"I'll never leave you either." She pulled the covers back and settled the blonde into bed, pulling the covers up and tucking her in. She went downstairs and upon her return was surprised to see Brandi still awake. She sat a bottle of water and some pain relievers on the bedside table, and a trash can in the floor.

"What's that for?" she asked sleepily.

"You're gonna have a raging hangover in the morning. I don't want you puking all over the floor." she then walked around and climbed into bed. She was taken by surprise though when Brandi leaned over to kiss her goodnight. Persephone smiled "I love you."

"I…" Brandi passed out and collapsed next to the brunette before she could finish the sentence.

Persephone lightly brushed the hair from her lover's forehead and kissed it "I love you." she settled in to go to sleep "I'm in for such a long day tomorrow." She whispered into the darkness. She rolled over and wrapped a protective arm around the blonde before drifting off to sleep.


	43. Chapter 43

**A/N: Yes, believe it or not I am finally able to update this. My apologies on how long it has taken. When I felt like writing I didn't have time, and when I had time I didn't feel like writing. I hope you're all still interested. As always, thank you for your continued reviews. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 43

Bright sunshine and a gorgeous blue sky stretched out before them, the makings of a perfect Sunday. Persephone guided their car south as they headed toward the Montana/Wyoming border to have Easter lunch with their neighbors and Dana's family. She glanced to her right, Brandi sitting next to her wearing a multi-colored pastel skirt, white top and nude heels. Her hair was down and her makeup minimal. Persephone had opted for a pair of pale yellow skinny jeans and a white top with lace patterned sleeves, strappy heels completing the look. Persephone reached over and laid a hand on the blonde's thigh, smiling as Brandi squeezed it. "You were doing an awful lot of singing for me Friday night, why aren't you now?"

"Ugh…do not mention Friday night." The blonde groaned.

Persephone laughed "Aww…come on!"

"So help me God, if you ever let me get that drunk again I will kill you." she glanced out the window "Once I recover from it."

"Duly noted." She watched as Brandi removed her sunglasses and checked her reflection in the mirror above the sun visor. "At least your colors back, you're no longer translucent like you were for most of the day yesterday."

"Shut up." the reply came with a quick punch to the brunette's thigh.

"Oww!" Persephone rubbed her leg "And thankfully the dark circles under your eyes are gone. I'd hate to have shown up and everyone thought I'd beaten you."

Brandi reached over and took Persephone's hand, pulling it to her lips and kissing the back "That is the one thing I have never, and will never, worry about. I know without a shadow of doubt you would never hurt me."

"Never."

They drove in silence for a bit, both enjoying the scenery as they had yet to travel this far from their new home. Growing up in New York, even though it wasn't the city, Brandi was unaccustomed to views like this. Then once she moved into the city the only time you had an open view was if you were on one of the river banks, and even then you could only see buildings. Now the landscape was vast and open. She stared across open fields, the mountains in the distance, how the sky seemed to go on forever. She had to admit there was something peaceful about her surroundings. "You know, it really is beautiful here."

"It is." Persephone took a quick glance over "Once the weather gets warmer what do you say we take a weekend trip? Head over to Yellowstone, or one of the other parks?"

"A weekend alone in a little cabin with you?" she grinned "Sign me up!"

As they drove through the small town near Dana's parents' home Brandi had a sudden thought about seeing her neighbors again for the first time since Friday night "Um, babe?" Persephone glanced her direction "I didn't do anything stupid the other night, did I?"

Persephone burst into laughter. "Depends on your definition of stupid."

"Oh God!"

"Well let's see. You showcased your singing abilities for one thing, as well as shared your love of 'Wayne's World'." she then looked thoughtfully "Is there something you're not telling me about your college years?"

The blonde looked over nervously "No, why?"

"Well…based on one of the songs you chose to sing, quite loudly, to everyone on the street I thought maybe you were a stoner back in the day."

"You're never gonna let me live this down, are you?"

"No ma'am."

"Okay. Anything else I should know about?"

Persephone debated what she was about to say, wondered if now was the time or place, but decided to be honest. "Uh, yeah…um…you called me Liv."

"I what?" her jaw dropped while her eyes went wide. "Oh my God! No one heard did they?"

"Dana did." seeing the look of panic on the younger woman's face she quickly continued "I covered for you though! Thanks to the noise and your slurred words she thought you said you wanted to live."

"Oh God, I could've blown our cover!"

"But you didn't." seeing the blonde was becoming upset, Persephone pulled into a gas station and parked "It's okay. She didn't understand you and no one else was close enough to hear."

Brandi took her sunglasses off and laid her head back against the seat "What if it happens again? What if I completely blow it for us?"

"I could just as easily slip up and blow it for us." she reached over and pulled the blonde in for a hug "It's the same as it was before, we both just need to be careful is all."

Brandi breathed for a few moments as the older woman held her. She finally pulled back "It's not the same as before though. Before you had no choice, but now you've put your life on hold for me. I can't screw it up."

Persephone shook her head as she gave the blonde a sympathetic smile "I've put nothing on hold. My life is right here with you. And if for some reason we have to be moved again, then I'll learn a new identity and go on with life." she placed her hand lightly on Brandi's cheek "I don't care if I'm Rachel, or Persephone, or whoever…as long as I'm with you that's all that matters."

Brandi kissed her lover chastely "I love you, so much."

"I love you too."

Once she was sure the blonde was okay Persephone pulled onto the road and continued their journey. They had now driven out of the small town and turned onto another road, only a few houses scattered here and there. "Are you sure this is the right way?"

Brandi looked at the paper in her hand "We've followed the directions Dana wrote down."

Both scanned the road ahead of them. Persephone was pretty sure she had driven the distance the directions said, now they were just looking for the house. "Maybe we've passed it?"

"No, I don't think so." Brandi looked at the directions again "It says they have a wrought iron mailbox stand with a mailbox painted like a red tractor at the end of the driveway." She looked ahead and grabbed the brunette's thigh "Like that one right there!"

Persephone slammed on the brakes and made a hard left turn into the driveway. Once the car was under control again she slowly made her way up the gravel lane.

"Well," Brandi said as she took a deep breath and straightened herself back up in the seat "You've left no doubt in my mind that you are a cop." She turned her head to see the brunette giving her signature smirk.

"Wow." Brandi looked out over the landscape as she climbed from the car. The ranch style house sat on a slight hill overlooking the fields that surrounded it, the mountains rising in the distance. She reached out and took the brunette's hand "Look at that view!"

"It's amazing." She leaned into the blonde "I wish we had a view like this."

"You made it!"

Both turned to see Dana rushing out to greet them followed by Chris. After greeting one another Persephone turned to her neighbor "So how are ya feelin' today, Chris?" grinning the whole time.

He shook his head "A lot better than yesterday, that's for sure." He looked to Brandi "You look like nothing ever happened. I still looked a little rough this morning."

"It's called makeup." The blonde smiled.

"Don't let her act like she can hold her alcohol." Persephone laughed "She only managed to get out of bed a couple times yesterday morning and that was to throw up, not to mention she had to crawl to and from the bathroom. She finally managed to stand yesterday afternoon." She continued to laugh until she felt Brandi's knuckle being jabbed into her rib "Oww!"

"I hate you."

Persephone reached down and took Brandi's hand, earning a smile from the blonde.

"Yeah, well," Dana said as they started toward the house "Genius here wasn't in any state to stand until yesterday evening." she shot each a look "So is it safe to say that you both have realized you're not as young as you once were?"

"Agreed." Brandi replied "I think Friday night's should be dinner only, not dinner and drinks."

Upon entering the house both looked at their surroundings, already beginning to feel at ease in the welcoming space. An older couple approached as Dana began the introductions "These are our friends Persephone and Brandi," she looked to the couple "And these are my parents Mike and Susie."

Both couples exchanged handshakes and greetings as the rest of the family made their way over. Dana's sister and brother-in-law along with their two children, followed by her twin brothers and their wives as well as their children. Even though lunch was about to be served the kids, who ranged in age from one to eight years old, were more concerned about the egg hunt they'd been promised.

The kids were seated at a smaller table in the dining room while the adults took their seats at the table. "This looks delicious!" Persephone said as she pulled out Brandi's chair then took a seat next to the blonde. The table in front of them was laid out with glazed ham, roasted asparagus, deviled eggs, lemon roasted potatoes, and dinner rolls.

"Thank you." Susie said with a smile. "And be sure to leave room for dessert, we have plenty of it as well."

By the time they'd finished their meal the adults were almost in tears from laughing at the stories that had been told. Dana's brothers not missing up the opportunity to tell embarrassing stories about her to her new friends.

"So, you really got into a fight because someone insulted your horse?" Persephone asked as she wiped her eyes.

Dana shook her head and kicked her brother under the table "She'd been running her mouth for a while and I'd finally had enough."

"But she did throw in an insult about your horse." Jason, one of her brothers, said.

"Are you still active in barrel racing and the rodeo?" Brandi asked as she took a sip of tea.

"I still like to ride, and I race for fun every now and then, but no I'm not active anymore. I still like going to rodeos though. We all try to go as often as we can."

"Have you ever been?" Mike asked, both women shaking their head no.

"Really?" Dana asked. She looked at Brandi "You're from Texas though."

The blonde shifted in her seat a bit, even though they were used to getting surprise questions about their past it didn't mean it had gotten any easier to answer. "Yeah, but we really weren't into that. We were more of a football family."

After dessert, a beautifully decorated carrot cake, everyone headed outside for the Easter egg hunt. Some eggs were laying in plain sight to make it easier for the younger kids, while others were hidden to make it harder for the older kids. Persephone was talking to Susie about their ranch when the older woman smiled "Isn't that precious!"

The brunette followed her line of sight and grinned as she saw Katie, Dana's two year old niece, take Brandi by the hand and pull her along as she collected the brightly colored eggs. "She doesn't have a lot of experience with kids, but she's a natural."

"Sorry if it's too forward of me to ask, but have you two considered children?"

"Mom!" Dana walked up just as her mother asked the question.

Persephone chuckled "It's okay, I don't mind." She sighed and looked at her partner then back to mother and daughter. "We've discussed it, but it's still a little early in the relationship. Plus, we're still enjoying it being just the two of us." then a smile slowly crept across her face "But, it's something we both want some day." she watched the blonde help the little girl find another egg, then turn and give her the smile that always made her melt "What I do know, is that she's gonna make an amazing mom."

The egg hunt over, the youngest children down for a nap, and the adults were scattered around the sitting area talking. The older kids had been watching a movie in the den when Dana's oldest nephew Donovan entered the room "Can I go riding?"

"Do you have a change of clothes?" the boy nodded. "Okay, let me change and we'll go." She stood, then looked to her guests "Have you two ever been horseback riding?"

Persephone shook her head no, but was surprised to see the blonde nodding "Really?"

"A few times when I was younger." She gave her a sly grin "I am from Texas after all."

"You guys wanna go with us?"

Brandi grinned "Well, it sounds fun but I don't think we're exactly dressed to go horseback riding." Looking at their outfits.

"Don't worry about it, Persephone and I are about the same size and I always keep extra clothes here. And Brandi, you and Mom are about the same size as well. She can borrow something, can't she Mom?"

The older woman stood and motioned the blonde to follow her "I know I've got something you can wear."

Once in the stable, as Dana and Donovan got the horses ready, Persephone pulled the blonde aside "You've seriously been riding?"

"A few times when I was younger. We vacationed in the Hamptons from time to time, and there was a ranch my parents would take me to so I could ride."

Persephone raised her eyebrows and shook her head while whispering "Well la-ti-da. Vacationing in the Hamptons."

Brandi gave her partner a playful backhanded swat to her behind "I hate you." then grinned as she walked away.

"Alright girls, these are the two gentlest horses we own." Dana said as they walked out of the stable "They're Tennessee Walkers, Brandi you're riding Cinnamon and Persephone you're riding Butterscotch." Both horses' names matching their color.

Persephone watched as her partner climbed into the saddle with ease, groaning internally as the blonde's toned legs and backside was on prominent display as she saddled up.

Brandi, catching the familiar glint in her lover's eyes, grinned mischievously "Ride 'em cowgirl."

Once everyone was on their horses they took a short ride in front of the stable to allow the ladies to get comfortable, especially Persephone, then they headed out through the fields. She wouldn't admit it out loud but Persephone was nervous, but the longer she rode the more comfortable she became. The air was still chilly but it didn't damper their fun. "Do you think we could do this again sometime?" she asked as they started back, having ridden almost a mile from the stable.

"Oh absolutely!" Dana replied. "I'm out here as often as I can once it warms up. We can come out on weekends when you two aren't working." She smiled at the couple "You're both naturals. Maybe you could even come out and help us work cattle."

Both laughed as they pictured their friends in LA and NY's reactions if they knew they were horseback riding possibly rounding up cattle. "Sounds like fun!" Brandi replied.

Upon returning to the stable Dana showed them how to care for the horses after a ride. The couple was eager to learn and were amazed at how much they enjoyed it.

Two hours later after bidding goodbye, and a quick stop at the grocery store, they were finally home and settling in for what was left of their evening. Both were freshly showered, Persephone lounging on the couch wearing sweats and an old t-shirt of Brandi's while the blonde wore pajama pants and Persephone's beloved gray hoodie. She knew it was one of the few personal belongings her partner had left LA with so it felt extra special when she was able to wear it. Brandi was curled up in a chair reading but her mind was occupied with the faraway look on the brunette's face. She marked her page and laid her book on the coffee table. "Where are you?"

"Hmm?"

"I said, where are you? You've got that look on your face that says you're miles from here."

Persephone smiled "I was back riding Butterscotch."

Brandi smiled as she snuggled further into the comfy chair, the pops and cracks from the fireplace the only sound in the room "You really enjoyed it, didn't you?"

"I loved it!" Persephone turned to face the younger woman, taking a moment to observe how the firelight cast a glow across her love. She loved moments like this; taking in the simple, classic beauty that was the love of her life. "It was so peaceful and relaxing." Then grinning "Well…once I was over my fear of being thrown to the ground."

"It was peaceful."

"I can't explain it. It was like…" she trailed off as her mind flashed back to that afternoon "It was like everything just disappeared; the thoughts about the families in the shelter, the changes that have occurred in our lives," she grew quiet for a moment "My worry of the cartel finding you."

Brandi gave her a sad smile, an acknowledgement of her own worry.

"It was just so…calming I guess is the word I'm looking for." She smiled brightly at the blonde "It was like I felt so light. And that moment when we were riding side by side and you looked over and smiled at me, it was just…it was like my heart could've exploded."

"We don't have to wait for Dana to take us back to her parents'. I've read there are several local ranches where we can go riding." She smiled as she watched how Persephone's face lit up as she talked about riding, she was like a child on Christmas morning. Brandi loved that smile, it was the smile that melted her heart and made her weak in the knees all at once. She'd do anything under the sun to keep the brunette smiling like that.

That night as they got ready for bed Persephone caught the blonde giggling "What's so funny?"

"I was just picturing you in cowboy boots and a hat."

Persephone raised her eyebrows "Just boots and a hat?"

Brandi stepped closer and wrapped her arms around the brunette's waist "Actually, I meant the whole outfit. But…now that you mention it…you in just boots and a hat is," her eyes darted to Persephone's lips "Very exciting."

Persephone kissed her quickly "Like you said earlier, ride 'em cowgirl."

Both crawled into bed and settled in to go to sleep. "Good day, huh?" Brandi asked as she got comfortable.

"Such a good day." a sleepy smile on her face.

"I know we've already been here for a little while, but I really think we're gonna be happy here."

Persephone leaned in for a goodnight kiss, smiling as she pulled back "I know we're gonna be happy here."


	44. Chapter 44

**A/N: As always, thank you for your reviews and continued support. This chapter took a slightly different turn than I anticipated. Persephone has a connection to her previous life by working at the shelter, and I wanted Brandi to have a connection as well, I just wasn't sure how that would happen. When I sat down to write this chapter I had it planned one way, but it just naturally took a different direction, and I'm glad that it did. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 44

Brandi hummed to herself as she re-shelved a few books in the English Literature section of the fiction section of the library. She took a moment to glance over a few of the titles, many she was familiar with from her own love of reading as well as from her college classes. She also liked this section as it reminded her of her partner. Persephone loved reading, and had a special fondness for the classics. In one of their many conversations once learning the truth about one another, the brunette told her it was one of the few things she and her mother shared. Smiling as she thought about her brunette partner Brandi made her way back to the front desk to prepare for her evening tutoring session. With the school year drawing to a close she had taken on another student. She didn't just look at it as just tutoring, she also looked at it as mentoring. Kids were under far more pressure now than when she was a teen, she liked talking to them about their concerns about school and their future education.

Stepping into the office in the back she shared with another librarian, Brandi grabbed a granola bar from her purse to hold her over till dinner and grabbed her phone. She dialed the number she knew well and waited. Hearing Persephone's smooth voice on the other end she smiled "Hey baby."

"Hey yourself."

"My student should arrive in a few minutes and I just wanted to check in. We should finish around six, so I should be ready to go about fifteen after."

"Sounds good. Instead of going home and coming back for you I'm gonna hang around here for a bit. We had a few new intakes today; Mom and her two kids escaping an abusive husband, a guy who left his wife because she was slowly trying to poison him, and a young woman who left her abusive girlfriend." Brandi heard the slow sigh come through the phone "I just want to help with getting them all settled in."

"I was gonna ask if you wanted to go out for dinner tonight, but how about just staying in? We've got that salmon in the fridge, maybe some roasted potatoes and a salad?"

Persephone chuckled "Look at us, talking about what we're going to cook for dinner instead of ordering takeout. We've come a long way baby."

At that Brandi smiled "And we did it together."

"Together, always."

The sincerity in the brunette's voice brought tears to Brandi's eyes "Always." Both were quiet for a moment as they reflected on their journey together, the blonde finally breaking the moment. "I hate to go, but Kelsey should be here any minute."

"Okay sweetie, I'll see you in a bit. Love you."

"Love you too."

Brandi walked out to the main desk and smiled at the teen she'd been tutoring for the last few weeks. "Hey Kelsey."

"Hey Brandi Lynn." The teen trying to hide her grin at the glare she was receiving.

Brandi groaned, she'd finally managed to get her few friends, and her co-workers to call her Brandi and not Brandi Lynn, however that didn't always extend to Kelsey. The teen seemed to enjoy calling her by the double first name, it just made Brandi like her even more. "How many times have I told you, it's just Brandi?"

"I don't know, how many times have I continued to call you that?"

Brandi simply rolled her eyes "Ready to hit the books?" A sigh was all she received in response. As they headed to one of the tables in the corner away from the other patrons Brandi took a moment to observe the young girl. Kelsey was tall, not quite as tall as she was, long blonde hair and light blue eyes. It wasn't lost on her that the girl somewhat resembled her as a teen. Once seated she waited as Kelsey laid her book and notes out "So, how'd you do on your last English test?"

Kelsey reached into her binder and hesitantly handed the paper over.

Brandi smiled brightly "An A? Great job!"

Kelsey smiled "Obviously you're getting through better than my teacher does."

"I'm sure your teacher is fine, but thanks for the compliment."

"I've always struggled with Grammar in school, well that and Math."

"Don't even ask me about Math. Grammar I can help you with all day, but Math…you'll fail if you rely on me for help."

About thirty minutes into the tutoring session Kelsey excused herself to the restroom. Brandi noticed the girl trying to conceal her phone as she slipped it from her backpack and into her pocket. When the young blonde returned there was a visible change in her demeanor. Brandi looked at her quizzically, she was almost sure the girl was trying not to cry. "Kelsey, are you okay?"

"Mmm hmm, fine. Where were we?" she swiped at her eyes as she took a seat.

Brandi chose to ignore it for the moment, but it wasn't forgotten.

As the lesson continued Kelsey's phone, which was set to vibrate, went off several more times. The teen tried to look at it each time but feeling Brandi's eyes on her made it difficult. With each glance at her phone though, Brandi noticed the unshed tears that continued to grow in her eyes.

"Kelsey." Waiting till she had her eye "Are you sure you're okay?"

The young girl looked around then looked down at the table "I'm not sure I can talk about it."

Immediately her prosecutor instincts went on high alert. "Sweetheart, who keeps texting you?"

A lone tear slid down Kelsey's cheek. "I can't talk about it here." She looked at the few people scattered around, some were kids that she went to school with.

"Okay, you wanna come back to my office? The other lady I share with isn't working today. It'll be just the two of us."

"Okay."

After gathering her things Kelsey followed Brandi to her office. Brandi pulled out the chair from the desk on the other side of the room before pulling one from behind her own and sitting down opposite her. She sat quietly wondering how she was supposed to say what she wanted to say, what she was afraid to say.

"Just take your time."

Seeing the kind smile on the older woman's face gave Kelsey enough courage to begin speaking. "My boyfriend was texting me." she took a deep breath "We've been dating for several months, since about the first of the year. He's a nice guy, he's cute too."

Brandi simply nodded, a sympathetic smile on her face. Years of experience told her this was leading somewhere but she couldn't rush it. She reached over and lightly pat Kelsey's knee, reassuring her she was there.

"But, he gets mad sometimes. Like, if I don't text him back in a certain amount of time, or if I'm not waiting on him where he asked me to meet him after class or school. He doesn't mean it, he tries not to get mad, really, but he just…he just can't help it sometimes."

Brandi took a deep breath as she slid her chair closer, and carefully chose her words. "Kelsey, people get mad sometimes, but he shouldn't get angry every time you don't answer him when he wants you to, or if you're not exactly where he wants you when he wants you."

"I know, but he apologizes once he calms down."

She reached out and took the girl's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze "Kelsey I have to ask, has he ever hit you?" the tremble she felt in the teen's hand and the tears on her cheeks was all the answer she needed.

Kelsey slowly nodded her head "A few times, it just started recently." Suddenly her eyes went wide as she looked up "But he doesn't mean it! He told me he really likes me, he cares about me. He's apologized every time."

"And yet he's hit you again after apologizing?"

"Yeah." Her voice barely a whisper.

Brandi slid to the edge of her seat, reached out and took both of Kelsey's hands in her own. "Sweetheart, what he's doing to you is not okay. And just because he says he cares about you and apologizes doesn't make it okay either. If he truly cared he wouldn't be hitting you, or being verbally abusive."

"But he just can't help it sometimes." The teen cried quietly.

Brandi walked around her desk and took a few tissues from her purse and handed them to the girl as she sat back down. "That's just an excuse he uses, he can help it."

"But, if I would just answer him back it wouldn't happen. I mean it's my fault too."

Brandi tilted her head to make eye contact, knowing it was important to get through to her "Kelsey. Look at me honey." Certain she had her attention she continued "This is not your fault. None of it. I don't care what he says, it's not your fault." waiting a moment she decided to continue "Have you talked to your parents?"

"Oh God no! My Dad would probably kill David. Plus, they weren't overly thrilled that I started dating him. They'll probably say it's my fault too."

This concerned Brandi, but she also knew how an abuse victim's mind perceived the world around them. "I've only briefly met your Mom once, and it was clear how much she loves you. I doubt they would blame you for how David has been treating you."

They remained in the office for a few more minutes. Mostly they sat in silence, every little bit though Brandi reassured Kelsey that what she was going through was not her fault. "Do you want a ride home?" Brandi asked as they walked out together.

"I can walk." She nervously glanced at her phone.

"Where's David?"

"He plays basketball in a rec league. He should be there this evening."

Brandi nodded as she saw Persephone pulling up to the sidewalk "I want you to ride with us." seeing the young blonde hesitate she pat her shoulder "I would feel better knowing you've made it home."

"Okay."

Persephone could immediately tell by her partner's demeanor that something was off but the look she was receiving told her not to mention it. She smiled and leaned in for a quick kiss then turned to the teen in the back as Brandi introduced them. It was a short drive to Kelsey's home, the teen's mood seemed to lighten as she listened to the light hearted banter between the couple in the front seat. By the time they pulled into her driveway Kelsey had asked multiple questions about how they met and their relationship.

"I'll be right back." Brandi whispered as she climbed from the car.

"You two are so cute." Kelsey grinned.

"Thank you." Brandi could never help the smile that was on her face when talking about the brunette.

"And how long did you say you've been together?"

"About a year and a half."

"She loves you, it's easy to see."

"I love her too. More than anything in the world. I trust her with my life." the words secretly having more meaning based on their history together. Seeing the look in the girl's eyes she continued "Kelsey, you are a wonderful young woman and I hope that one day you can have the kind of love Persephone and I share. You're still young, you have your whole life ahead of you, please don't let someone like David tear you down. You deserve so much better than him."

"I don't know."

"I think you do, don't be afraid to admit it to yourself." She lightly rubbed Kelsey's upper arm "You need to tell your parents."

"I don't know."

"Do you want me to go with you and tell them?"

"No, I can do it on my own."

Brandi reached into the car and came back with a pen and piece of paper. She quickly wrote her number down and handed it over. "Here's my number. If you need me, call me. I don't care what time it is, day or night."

"Okay." She smiled a little then leaned in for a light hug "Thank you."

"Anytime."

Inside the car Persephone was quiet as she backed out of the driveway and started home. She watched as Brandi sighed and stared out the window. She reached over and laid a hand on Brandi's thigh "You wanna talk about it?"

"Can we wait till after we're home?"

"Of course." Giving the blonde's thigh a reassuring squeeze.

Later, after dinner was over, Persephone turned the lights off and walked from the kitchen to see Brandi curled up on the couch staring at the fire. Even though the days were getting warmer there was still a chill in the air at night that invited the warmth of a fire. Plus, both simply enjoyed the glow it cast across their living room and the coziness that came along with it. The brunette leaned in, kissing Brandi on the top of her head, before taking a seat opposite her on the couch. She pulled her legs up under her as she draped her right arm across the back of the couch, mirroring her partner's position. She placed her hand over Brandi's, smiling as the younger woman linked their fingers together.

"It never ends, does it?" her eyes never leaving the fireplace.

"What doesn't?" brown eyes furrowed a bit.

"The violence." Brandi sighed as she turned to meet her partner's gaze "The abuse; physical, emotional, mental and verbal, the rape, the assault, all of it."

Now the brunette was concerned. She took a steadying breath and spoke slowly "Did someone hurt you?" Already forming plots in her mind as to how she could take care of whomever hurt her love.

Brandi's head snapped around as she realized where Persephone's mind had gone. "Oh, no, no, not me." she reached out her free hand and placed it on the older woman's leg "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." When there was no reply she pushed on "So, what brought this up. Does it have something to do with Kelsey?"

"She told me today that her boyfriend is abusive."

"She's just a kid." Persephone sighed.

"She's sixteen, almost seventeen, but yeah, she's still just a kid."

"What kind of abuse is it?"

"All of it. She said it started as verbal and emotional, but it has now progressed to physical. She said he's hit her a couple times."

"And let me guess, he's apologized every time and swore he'd never do it again." she rolled her eyes in disgust. If she'd gotten a nickel for every time she heard that excuse as a cop she would've been able to retire years ago.

"And she believes him." Brandi ran her hand through her hair "And I'm not blaming her, she's just so young it's hard to get her to understand. He's not her first boyfriend but he's more serious than her previous ones. I think she's afraid of what might happen if she does try to break it off."

"What about her parents?"

"That's why I got out of the car with her. I offered to go with her to tell them but she said no, said she could do it herself."

"We know how this goes, we can talk till we're blue in the face but we can't make her leave him. She has to want it for herself."

"I know, but what about in the mean time?"

"Do you tutor her anymore this week?" Brandi shook her head no. "Maybe you can get in touch and ask to meet up, maybe I could try and talk to her?"

"That might work, I just don't want her to feel like we're ganging up on her." a momentary pause "I gave her my number if she needs to talk, but I'll give her a call tomorrow and see if she wants to meet up." she leaned forward "But right now, I just want you to hold me, and remind me how wonderful I have it that I have a partner who loves me more than anything."

Persephone smiled as she leaned back and pulled the blonde with her, wrapping her in arms once she was settled against the arm of the couch "I do love you, more than anything. And I'm so blessed to also have a partner who loves me unconditionally."

They had been laying there in silence for a while, the pops and cracks from the fire the only sound in the room. "I think I'm gonna start volunteering some with you at the shelter." Brandi whispered out of the blue.

"They can use all the help they can get." Persephone lightly running her fingers through blonde hair while Brandi drew light patterns on her stomach. "What made you decide to do this?"

"Well, school will be out soon so no more tutoring, plus I just feel like I need to do more. We've both been away from our jobs for so long, I guess not having a daily reminder of the violence that's out there has made it easy to not think about it. Does that make sense?"

"It does. Back in Wisconsin I'd see it in the paper or on the news, but it was different than dealing with it all day every day. Going to the shelter has brought it back to the forefront and reminded me how much work still needs done."

"We're gonna fix it though, right?"

At that Persephone smiled and held her love tighter. "Absolutely. It may not happen in our lifetime, but it will happen. We're gonna fix it."


	45. Chapter 45

**A/N: As always thank you for the reviews. I'm glad so many of you liked the addition of Kelsey and her story, and this chapter is a continuation of the last one. I like writing our ladies in a different environment than we're used to them being in, but at the same time I miss writing the detective and ADA. I figured it couldn't hurt for them both to come out from time to time. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter 45

As the day passed Brandi grew more anxious at hearing from Kelsey. Eyeing the clock nervously as it inched closer to three o'clock she willed it to move faster. She tried to call the teen before school that morning but didn't get an answer, leaving a voice mail asking her to call back. She and Persephone decided the night before to invite the teen out for dinner that evening, hoping to get through to her about the danger of her situation. Both knew that if David was already being abusive this early into the relationship it was only going to get worse.

Brandi stood behind the desk smiling and nodding while pretending to listen to the elderly lady in front of her. The lady was a regular patron, and while very kind, had a tendency to want to share everything that had happened since she'd last visited. Brandi knew it stemmed from the older woman living alone and not having someone to talk to, which only made it harder to try and get away from her. She felt relieved though when she saw Kelsey walk through the door. Not expecting the teen she wasn't sure what she was about to hear. She said goodbye to Mrs. Keller then followed Kelsey to the table she'd set up at near the patio exit. "Hey. I wasn't expecting you this evening."

Kelsey smiled "I know."

"Everything okay?" she asked while taking a seat.

The teen nodded "I just thought I'd come here and work on some homework."

"Did you talk to your parents?"

Kelsey shook her head no. She simply kept her head down, afraid to make eye contact with the blonde.

Brandi immediately knew what she was thinking "I'm not mad at you." when the teen looked up with teary eyes her heart broke, the mental and emotional abuse was already taking its toll.

"You're not?"

"No, honey, no. Do I wish you would tell them? Yes, but I'm not about to force you to do it. You need to do it when you're ready, and I'm gonna stand by you and support you until you're ready and even afterwards. So no, I am in no way mad at you." she waited a minute before continuing with her next question "Does David know you're here?"

"Yeah, but he won't come here. I told him I picked up an extra tutoring session this week. I told him you thought I needed it." then giving the older woman a remorseful look "I hope you're not mad I brought you into it."

"Not at all." she pat Kelsey's hand "Trust me, I've dealt with worse than David. He doesn't scare me at all."

Brandi chatted with Kelsey for a few more minutes before returning to her work. She made sure to keep an eye on the main door. Even though she'd never seen David, she was certain she'd know him if he entered. As it neared five she approached Kelsey who was lost in her work. "Hey. I'm going to be heading out soon, I wanted to ask if you would like to go out to eat with Persephone and I this evening?"

"Are you sure? I wouldn't want to intrude on your time together."

"Sweetie, it's just the two of us, it would be nice to have someone else to talk to for once." She grinned.

Kelsey laughed "You're sure?"

"Positive. Even Persephone mentioned last night that you should have dinner with us."

Kelsey gathered her things and followed Brandi to her car. They talked and made jokes on the way to the shelter to pick Persephone up. Brandi explained about Persephone's job and the volunteer work she did. The brunette was waiting outside when they pulled up to the shelter. Climbing in the passenger seat she glanced back and said hello before leaning over for a kiss.

"Aww!"

Both women blushed slightly as they looked back at a smiling Kelsey.

"So how's school going?" Persephone asked. She listened as the teen went on about school, but her detective mind was working overtime picking up on any info she could. It had been a long time since she'd needed her skills, and as much as she hated having to use them on the girl, she had to admit she missed it.

By the time they arrived at the restaurant Persephone and Kelsey had hit it off as quickly as the two blondes had. As they walked in Kelsey hung back slightly and tapped Brandi's arm. "I like her." she nodded toward the brunette.

Brandi grinned brightly and bumped the teens shoulder with hers "I like her too."

"We need to invite you out more often." Persephone said as she took another bite. "These are the best tacos I think I've ever had!"

"I didn't even knew this place was here." Brandi replied.

"It is a kind of hole in the wall place." Kelsey answered. "It's been here for years. My family and I are usually here once every couple weeks, and have takeout from here about once a week."

"We're gonna have to hire you as a tour guide," Persephone grinned "Or at least as a food tour guide."

"There's a lot of good places here to eat that are a little hidden."

"I'm a firm believer in asking the locals where to eat." Brandi said.

"Well, there's a barbecue spot that's really good, and a great Indian place. Oh, and over in Billings there's a really great Middle Eastern restaurant. What about Thai food?"

Persephone laughed and pointed at her partner "She could eat her weight in Thai food."

"I'll point that one out to you too, plus a great little Greek place."

At that both smiled "We love Greek." Persephone made eye contact with Brandi, remembering their favorite Greek diner back in Wisconsin.

After leaving the restaurant Persephone was doing her best to find a way to broach the subject of David. She hadn't wanted to while eating for fear of upsetting the teen, as well as avoiding discussing it in a public place. She was about to mention stopping for coffee, a coffeehouse would be more private that a bustling restaurant, when Brandi asked Kelsey if her parents were home.

"No, they're both out tonight. My brother has a baseball game and my sister has a softball game."

Both woman shot each other a nervous sideways glance "So, you'll be home alone?"

"Yeah, but I'll be fine."

Neither missed the slight nervousness in her voice.

Before getting out of the car Kelsey leaned forward "Um, would you two like to come in?"

"Sure." Persephone knew now the teen was afraid to be alone, but she also knew this was her opening.

All three were now seated, a cup of tea for each. Persephone glanced to Brandi, the blonde reading her look and nodded her head. The brunette slid forward on the couch and sat her cup on the coffee table "Kelsey, is there a reason you didn't want to be alone this evening?"

Brandi prayed the teen wouldn't be mad at her for betraying her confidence. She'd hate to lose contact with her, but even more it could shut her down in getting away from David.

"Um…" she looked to Brandi and knew the blonde had told her partner. "I wasn't sure if David might come by."

"Kelsey, trust me when I say that if he's treating you like this now it's only going to get worse. Now I know that I don't know David, but I've known plenty of guys like him. You are a very intelligent young woman and I'd hate to see you stuck in a relationship like this."

"But, maybe I can change him. If I'd just try a little harder."

Persephone walked over and squat down in front of her, placing a hand on Kelsey's "Sweetheart, you can't change him. He's the only one who can change himself. And sadly, if he's like this at such a young age he's not gonna change."

As Brandi watched she flashed back to New York and the Connors trial, remembering Olivia saying she felt like she'd gotten to watch ADA Cabot in action. She felt tears sting her eyes as she realized she was now watching Detective Benson in action. There wasn't a doubt in her mind this was what the older woman was meant to do.

"I'm just afraid of what he might do if I break up with him."

"I know you are, but you won't be alone. Brandi and I will be right here to support you, and I'm sure your parents will too. Plus, there are legal options."

"I don't want to get the cops involved."

"That may not be necessary. But there are options there if you need them."

They continued to talk, both women reassuring the teen that she would be fine and that she would always have support from them. Brandi hesitantly asked if Kelsey was upset with her for sharing her story. She breathed a sigh of relief when the teen said she wasn't.

Seeing the time Kelsey looked toward the door. "I'm sure you guys are tired after working today. You can go home, if he was gonna come by he would've done so by now. He knows my parents should be home soon and he doesn't come by when they're here."

"Are you sure? We don't mind staying."

"No, I'm good." She smiled as they all stood. "I'm also gonna tell my parents tonight. I'll tell them and then I'll break up with him."

Brandi hugged her, followed by Persephone "Well, you have my number, let me know if you need us for anything."

They waited by the door until they heard the lock click then went to their car to leave. Brandi backed out of the drive and was about to pull away when Persephone put a hand on her leg. "Circle the block and come back."

"Why?"

"Just do it."

Brandi made a quick circle of the block and parked just down from Kelsey's, giving them a clear view of the house. "What is it?"

Persephone watched down the street. As they'd left the house she'd noticed a car driving slowly by. It could've been a neighbor but her instinct told her different. Putting her detective skills to use earlier seemed to put all her old instincts on high alert. She pointed as a figure passed under the street light and walked up the sidewalk to the porch "There! Is that David?"

"I've never seen him, but who else could it be?"

They watched as he knocked and Kelsey opened the door. The car now turned off, Persephone rolled her window down a bit to see if she could hear what was said. They watched as the pair talked but based on their movements it was clear it had now turned to an argument. David grabbed the handle on the glass door and tried to pull it open further as Kelsey pulled back and attempted to close the inner door.

"Shit!" Persephone jumped from the car and ran toward the house, Brandi right behind her.

"Dammit, Kelsey, open the door!"

The teen jumped when she saw a figure rush up behind David and grab him. His grip on the door gone, she stumbled back into the house. When she looked up she could see Brandi entering the house.

"Are you okay?!"

Kelsey stood shakily "Yeah, um yeah…I'm alright." She rushed out to see what was happening.

Persephone and David were standing a few feet apart as the brunette told him to leave.

"I just need to talk to Kelsey." His demeanor now had changed, he appeared to be a kind young man.

"Nope, you're not talking to her." the brunette never wavering.

"Ma'am, this is all just a misunderstanding. We haven't seen much of each other outside school lately and I wanted to come by and see her." He had a charming smile that neither adult was falling for.

"Oh I don't think it was a misunderstanding. You were trying to open the door even though she was trying to pull it closed. I also heard her ask you to leave as I ran up." she raised her eyebrows "So...what am I misunderstanding?"

Brandi stayed close to the teen, her arm around her waist, hoping to convey her support.

"Kelsey, honey, tell them it's just a misunderstanding."

"I want you to leave." Her voice was low and shaky but they all heard her. Persephone and Brandi couldn't have been more proud.

"What?"

Feeling her confidence grow with the two women supporting her she raised her voice and met his gaze "I said, I want you to leave. We're over David. I'm not gonna be your punching bag. I'm tired of being told how worthless I am, how it's my fault you get so mad, and then listening to you beg forgiveness and promise it'll never happen again." she was shaking now "It's over."

"It's not over till I say it's over."

David rushed toward both blondes. Before he knew what had happened Persephone had one arm behind his back and his face pressed up against the side of the house. She leaned in holding him in place "She said it's over." Feeling him fight, and fail, to free himself she pushed against him tighter "You're gonna leave now and you're not gonna bother her ever again. Am I clear?"

David grunted, still unable to move in the brunette's grasp.

"I said, am I clear?!"

"Yes." he growled.

She stepped back and released her hold, her body still on high alert in case he tried something.

David stepped back and adjusted his clothing, trying to keep up his tough persona but failing. He started to step away then glanced back at Kelsey "Maybe in a few days once everyone has calmed down we can talk." he glanced to the two older women "You know, when your police dogs aren't around."

In an instant Persephone was back in his face "What did I just say? You will not contact her, at all." she grinned slightly, intimidatingly "And you think you've insulted us by calling us her 'guard dogs'? You know how guard dogs can be, once they get hold of something they rarely let go. So remember that. Every time you think of contacting her remember my face and what just happened. Got it?"

"Yeah, whatever. Just move."

Now she was smirking "Make me."

A quick sidestep and David made his way back to his car and left.

When his door slammed Kelsey broke down. She leaned into Brandi as she cried. "Thank you." she repeated over and over.

They stayed a little longer, waiting until Kelsey's parents returned. They offered to stay while she told them, but she assured them she wanted to do it on her own.

As they were getting ready for bed Brandi's phone chirped with a text. She smiled as she read the messages aloud. _"Told Mom and Dad. You were right, they're being so supportive. Mom's considering slipping Dad something to knock him out so he doesn't go out and kill David tonight." _

"I like her Dad." Persephone chuckled. She sat on the edge of the bed and began applying lotion to her hands "You know, we're going horseback riding this weekend, why don't we invite Kelsey? We both agree how relaxing it is, maybe it'll do her some good. Get her mind off things for a bit."

"I'll call her tomorrow and ask." Brandi walked around the bed and pulled the brunette up to stand in front of her. "I hope this doesn't sound inappropriate given the evening we had, but when you had him restrained…it was so hot."

Persephone laughed "Oh really?"

"Oh yeah. I now understand what you meant when you said watching me on the stand felt like you were watching Cabot. I felt like I was watching Benson and I have to say…I was very impressed."

"Mmm…so seeing me in action as a detective is hot?"

"Incredibly hot." Her eyes flicked down the front of the brunette's shirt.

"Maybe I'll need to find a cop uniform and wear it one night."

"Absolutely." Her lips inching closer to her lover's "Now, let me do what I wanted to do to you earlier." She pressed their lips together in a passionate kiss.

Persephone laughed as they fell back onto the bed, Brandi's hands working their way up under her shirt, she made a mental note to find that uniform as soon as possible.


	46. Chapter 46

**A/N: This is a little bit longer than usual, but there's a lot to cover. Glad you liked the last chapter, and the 'appearance' of Alex and Olivia. No matter who they are, they will always be the same people deep down. As always thank you so much for your reviews, follows and favorites. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 46

As the weeks moved on they were more than happy to welcome the summer weather. The nights were still cool at times but the days were warm, encouraging both ladies to spend more time outside. They'd taken up running again, both missing the runs they enjoyed together in Wisconsin. Their love of horseback riding was also growing. They went as often as they could, sometimes with their neighbors the Adams and sometimes at a nearby ranch that offered riding to the public.

Kelsey also joined their rides from time to time. The teen hadn't ridden in years when they invited her to go with them after ending her relationship with David, but quickly fell back in love with the hobby. She was progressing well after the breakup, leaning on the ladies in addition to her parents for support. Now that school was out for the summer Kelsey had begun volunteering at the shelter to work with the children. She'd even gotten a few of her friends to start volunteering as well. The group of teens, mostly girls but a few boys, were dedicated to what they were doing. Watching how involved the teens had become, Persephone and Brandi were certain they were looking at the next generation of advocates.

This evening they'd fixed dinner on the grill and ate on the back patio. Now they were relaxing on their front porch watching kids ride up and down the street on their bikes, a few neighbors out for an evening walk. "So, you've been awfully quiet today. What's up?"

"Nothing." Persephone replied with her signature smile.

"Okay, now I know something is up."

The brunette continued to smile before leaning over the small table between them "I have a secret."

"Well, you better not be knocked up. I mean, I know I'm good, but I'm not that good."

Both laughed at Brandi's comment.

"Trust me, I'm not knocked up." she turned slightly in her chair "I have plans for us this weekend."

Brandi raised her eyebrows in question.

"I've already spoken to your boss, so you're in the clear. Thursday morning you and I are headed out to Yellowstone to spend the weekend. I've reserved us a little cabin at one of the lodges there; we can go swimming, horseback riding, hiking, or we can just relax and enjoy the scenery."

"Seriously?"

"Yes ma'am."

* * *

Thursday morning they were up early and on their way to Wyoming. Four hours later they pulled up to the Beaver Creek lodge. "Look at that!" Brandi stepped from the car and pointed to the horizon just beyond the lodge. Stretched out before them was a clear blue sky, the mountains rising to meet it.

Persephone stood next to her, looking out at the view "I know we both wanted somewhere warm when we were relocated, but I hate to think we would've missed out on seeing this."

They took time to take in the building as they entered. From the outside it looked like a large log cabin from days gone by, but on the inside it was warm and welcoming. It was a large, open space the check in desk at one end with a large stone fireplace with a seating area at the other. Just beyond the fireplace was the bar and restaurant which opened up to an outdoor sitting area. A stone walkway led down to the swimming pool.

"Okay, I'm in love with this place already." Brandi said as she looked around.

"I did well, didn't I?"

"You did great." She placed a kiss to the brunette's cheek "And I will be sure to show you my appreciation later."

"Lucky me!" Persephone replied with a waggle of her eyebrows.

After a quick check in they drove a short distance down a gravel lane that led to the cabins. A handful were scattered around their location, but it also provided them with the quiet and privacy they'd hoped for. A small porch on the front of the cabin held two chairs and a small table, and faced the West, leaving them with hopes of amazing sunsets. Inside the cabin was one room; a small breakfast table was in front of the window with a sofa and chair in front of the fireplace in the corner, the queen size bed was against the far wall. The bathroom was modest yet comfy with a claw-foot tub and shower.

"I like our little house, but I wouldn't mind living in a log cabin." Persephone said as she collapsed on the bed.

"It would be nice." Brandi fell onto the bed and rolled on her side to face the brunette "There was a brochure with lists of activities we can do, plus another flier with events going on in town if we want to go."

"I'm up for anything you want to do, but how about we just go out and wander around for a bit."

They walked hand in hand down one of the trails that followed alongside the creek that cut a path through the property. They passed other couples, a few families, everyone nodding in passing or sharing a smile. They took a seat on a little two-person wooden swing that sat along the trail, looking out over the valley that spread out before them as it led to the mountains.

"Look!" Brandi said while pointing at the mountain tops "There's still snow on them."

Persephone pulled their camera from around her neck and took a few pictures. Over their time together, the trips they'd taken, she'd discovered she quite liked photography and it had become a hobby. She snapped a few pictures of the scenery but her mouth dropped open as she looked across the water to the opposite bank "Oh shit, look!"

A lone buffalo walked down to the water's edge and began drinking from the creek.

"Not something you'd see in New York or Los Angeles, is it?" Brandi whispered into the brunette's ear.

Persephone turned to meet the blonde's gaze "No," she whispered "It's not." She realized more and more with each passing day that while she missed LA since it was her home, she was no longer homesick for the city. She slowly began to smile when she realized the same thoughts were being reflected back at her in Brandi's eyes.

The rest of the evening was relaxing and romantic; drinks at the outdoor lounge, followed by a sunset dinner at the lodge's outdoor dining area, then they headed to the nightly campfire. Both had opted for long summer dresses for dinner, grateful for the heat coming from the campfire to ward off the evening chill. "You are so incredibly beautiful." Brandi said out of the blue as she faced her partner.

Persephone smiled "The things you say."

"The things I say are true." She slipped her arm around the brunette's waist and pulled her close "What do you say we head back to our cabin? It's getting a little chilly out here. Plus, I think we're a little overdressed." Both chuckled as they looked at the people seated around the campfire, most were in jeans and tees but a few were dressed up from dinner.

"We can build a fire, try out that nice bathtub." Persephone smirked as they began the walk back to their cabin.

"Sounds good to me." she pulled the brunette closer "But don't forget, we're going riding tomorrow…we need to go to bed early." She placed a kiss to Persephone's neck.

"We definitely need to rest up."

Brandi locked the door behind them once inside and turned to her lover "So, bath, bed and…"

Persephone simply waggled her eyebrows as she pulled a laughing blonde in for a kiss.

* * *

The following morning Persephone shook her head as she stood in front of the bathroom mirror "At least they're not in a visible area." She glanced down at the few little marks that were scattered across her torso. A slight smile forming as she remembered how passionate Brandi had become the night before. Hearing footsteps behind her she looked up to see Brandi's reflection staring back at her. "I guess you're pretty proud of yourself, huh?"

The blonde smirked "You know it. And don't act like you didn't enjoy it."

She turned and pulled the younger woman in for a kiss "Every single second."

Brandi pulled back as the kiss ended. "I'm gonna run up to the lodge and grab us some breakfast. I'll be back in a few." Another quick peck and she headed out.

"I'm starving, so make it quick!" Persephone called out as she pulled a t-shirt on.

"Persephone!"

Brandi's scream followed by the slamming door had the brunette running from the bathroom in just her sleep shirt and panties. Her hand instinctively went to her right hip for her gun. A hard habit to break even after all this time. "What happened? What is it?" she grabbed the blonde and pulled her away from the door.

"Oh God, it was right there!" Brandi's hand was on her chest as she willed her breathing to slow down.

"What was?" Persephone stepped over to the window when the blonde pointed to it. She slowly pulled the curtain back and peeked out the window. A smile spreading across her face till she was laughing.

"It's not funny! Would you be laughing had it been you?"

Persephone looked at the moose that was standing on the porch right at the door. "Well based on the way it's looking around you probably scared it as much as it scared you, if not worse."

She swat the brunette on the arm "It's not funny! How are we supposed to get out?"

They waited a few moments, and seeing the animal wasn't about to move, Persephone called the main desk. Within minutes a young man was at their door and after a little coaxing managed to get the animal to leave.

After breakfast, and several rounds of good natured teasing from Persephone, they were ready to hit the trails. As Brandi exited the bathroom she couldn't help the heat that spread through her body when she saw her partner. Persephone was dressed in jeans, white tank and a chambray shirt. However it was the brown hat and brown ropers that got her excited.

"See something you like?"

"Definitely." She placed her hands on the brunette's waist "Just remembering the first time I saw you wearing this hat and boots."

Persephone grinned mischievously "You liked that, didn't you?"

Brandi's mind flashed back to coming home from work that particular evening and finding her partner wearing her newest purchases. "I also liked you riding me that night wearing nothing but your boots and hat." Both grinned but blushed at the memory.

"And I liked when you rode me a few days later after buying your own boots and hat." She glanced at the blonde's outfit; Brandi wearing a blue and white plaid shirt with jeans, a pair of boots like Persephone's and a hat that was similar to the brunette's only it was a lighter shade of brown.

Brandi kissed the older woman again "If we don't leave we won't be wearing anything but our boots and hats."

They joined a group of seven others and a guide on a trail ride. The trail followed along the creek that ran through the property before it started up along the hillside, coming to a clearing that overlooked the valley below. While eating the brown bag lunch provided by the lodge they listened as their guide gave a history lesson of the area. Before heading back down they had time for some exploring and taking photos. Persephone captured several shots of her favorite subject, Brandi, without the blonde's knowledge. The candid, unknown shots always ended up being her favorites.

After returning from their ride they decided to spend the rest of the afternoon swimming and lounging by the pool. While Brandi had hoped for a two piece to show off her lover's figure, the brunette had opted for a black one piece instead. It was Persephone who was surprised when the blonde pulled her tee off to reveal a black and white one piece suit. She knew the younger woman was still conscious of her scar so it surprised her that Brandi was willing to go without a cover up as she had in the past. She reached her hand out and squeezed Brandi's "You look amazing."

The blonde averted her eyes momentarily "Thanks." She then quickly scanned the others "You think they are looking or wondering?"

At that Persephone chuckled "If they are looking, the only thing they are wondering is how I ended up with the most gorgeous woman on the planet."

The blonde smiled "Normally I'd argue that I'm with the most gorgeous woman on the planet, but today I'll take your word for it."

A leisurely afternoon turned into another leisurely evening. Dinner was again outdoors but instead of dressing up as they had the night before they opted for casual to be more comfortable attending after dinner activities.

Brandi took a seat on one of the logs that circled the campfire, Persephone taking a seat to her left. The blonde caught sight of the elderly woman next to her looking at how closely they were sitting. She sighed and was about to move when she could see the woman was actually smiling at her. She reached down and squeezed her partners hand, returning the smile when she watched the elderly woman gently squeeze the hand of the woman sitting next to her.

They watched in rapt attention as several members of the Crow tribe gave a history of their people and the area. Both were fascinated but Persephone couldn't help but smile at how attentive her partner was being. Persephone herself was enjoying the history of the native people, the stories they told and the traditional dress the men and women wore. The evening closed with the traditional music and dancing of the tribe.

As they were about to leave the older woman who'd sat next to Brandi stopped in front of the couple and smiled "You look so in love."

The young couple smiled to one another then faced the older woman "We are."

The older woman glanced over at the woman who'd been sitting next to her and was now speaking to a member of the tribe, then back to Brandi and Persephone "Enjoy it. We can enjoy one another's company in public now, but at one time we couldn't. Be grateful for the time you have, it flies by."

"We will." Brandi replied before they turned and headed back to their cabin.

* * *

As the early morning sun broke, the two women sleepily climbed from their warm bed to head out for their last day on the ranch. Their plans included a fly fishing lesson, a horseback ride through Yellowstone and going into town for a festival that evening.

Standing on the bank of the creek Brandi couldn't help but think how ridiculous she looked as she glanced down at the chest high waders she was wearing. "I look stupid." She whispered when she saw the brunette eyeing her sideways.

"I think you're kinda cute."

They waded out into the water, both gasping at how cold the water felt even through the rubber waders they were wearing. Fly fishing they quickly learned was not quite as easy as the fishing they did on their first camping trip. While Persephone had taken to it quickly on that trip, this one she struggled with slightly. Brandi however picked up the casting in no time and found she quite enjoyed herself. She laughed gleefully when she caught her first trout and in a matter of minutes caught a second.

"Do you want to keep them or release?" their guide Andy asked.

"What would we do with them?" Persephone asked, having grown frustrated with her inability to catch anything.

"I'll show you how to clean them, and you can take them to the kitchen and they will prepare them for you."

"Sure."

After seeing how to clean the fish both wished they'd skipped that part of the lesson. Years of crime scenes and crime scene photos they could handle, but seeing a fish gutted nearly turned their stomachs.

They rushed back to their cabin to clean up and took a short drive to another ranch that was just inside Yellowstone Park. There they joined a group for a horseback ride to see the geysers, most notably Old Faithful. As they rode across the open plain both shared looks from time to time, those quiet moments conveying how happy they were and how much they loved one another.

"I would be content spending the rest of our lives like this."

"Me too." Brandi replied "Me too."

They arrived back at the ranch in time to clean up and have a late lunch at the lodge. The fresh trout Brandi caught that morning their meal. "This is so good."

"You're quite the fisherman." Persephone answered "Maybe you could start stocking our fridge with fresh fish more often."

"That's fine, but we'll have to find someone else to clean them." her nose wrinkling as she spoke.

As they drove into town that evening both talked excitedly at how their vacation had been so far, as well as plans to attend a rodeo with the Adams' the next weekend. They had already attended a couple rodeos with their neighbors and found they enjoyed them. Their first rodeo having been the reason both purchased their boots and hats. For the evening's outfit Persephone had opted for an olive green long sleeve top and jeans, her boots and hat completing the look. Brandi had chosen a cream sweater with dark jeans along with her own hat and boots.

They strolled around the small town a bit, taking time to do a little shopping in the shops that had stayed open later due to the festivities. Their favorite stop being a book store where both picked up a few novels, Brandi also choosing a book on some of the native tribes of the area. They returned their purchases to the car before heading to the middle of town where the street was blocked off for the Barbecue Cook Off festival. They made their way through the vendors sampling as they went. Some were delicacies they weren't so sure about, but they decided to be slightly adventurous and tried both bison and wild boar. They finally picked out their dinner for the evening and took a seat at one of the tables under a tree that was lit with white lights.

As they ate they listened to music from the live band that was playing, and watched other couples as they danced. Finishing their meal Persephone stood and held her hand out "Wanna dance?"

Not that she was ashamed of who she was or whom she loved Brandi unconsciously glanced around at the other festival goers. "You sure?"

Persephone shrugged her shoulders "If they don't like it screw em', they don't have to look." She smiled as the blonde took her hand and they walked to the dance floor.

The music had been upbeat but shortly after they hit the floor the band chose a slower song. Neither knew the name or who sang it, but as they danced closer the words spoke directly to their souls.

'_Our love is unconditional, we knew it from the start.'_

Brandi lost herself in the words of the song as they danced, their bodies pressed together, one hand on Persephone's shoulder the other in the brunette's hand, Persephone's free hand resting on the small of her back. Both whispering 'I love you' as they felt the song was speaking directly to them.

'_I cross my heart_

_And promise too_

_Give all I've got to give_

_To make all your dreams come true_

_In all the world_

_You'll never find_

_A love as true as mine'_

"If we spend the rest of our lives like this I would die a happy woman."

"I couldn't agree more." Persephone whispered as she tried to hold her tears back.

Arriving back in their cabin they were sad their weekend was coming to an end. However they had enjoyed their time together and couldn't help but feel their time away had only brought them closer, solidifying their love even more. Climbing into bed they fell into one another's arms. While it wasn't the passionate, intense love making of their first night there, it was the slow, loving and sensual lovemaking that always reconnected them on a spiritual and emotional level.

Later, lying wrapped in one another's arms, Brandi spoke quietly as she held her lover. "Remember that older couple we saw last night?" she felt Persephone nod against her chest "You think that'll be us when we're their age?"

Persephone tilted her head and placed a kiss to the blonde's shoulder, just beside her scar "I know it will." she looked up smiling, brown eyes meeting blue "I'm gonna love you forever."

"Even when I'm old and gray, my boobs down to my knees, and covered in wrinkles?"

Persephone grinned brightly "Even when we're keeping our teeth in a glass on the bathroom sink."

Brandi laughed loudly and held the brunette closer "You're so not right." Then looking her in the eye again "But you know what? That's one of the many things I love about you…you make me laugh."

"And I love making you laugh."

Silence settled over the room again, both beginning to drift off to sleep. Brandi pulled the blankets up tighter around them "I'm so glad you found me."

Persephone sighed, already drifting off "I searched my whole life."

* * *

**A/N: Lyrics are from 'Cross My Heart' by George Strait. I own only my own characters, no infringement intended.**


	47. Chapter 47

**A/N: As usual, my normal apologies for taking so long to update. I've had a few other ideas bouncing around my head lately so I had to take care of them before I could get to this one. I will also hopefully have an update for Ladies Weekend soon. I knew how this chapter was going to end, I just couldn't get from the beginning to the end. So a huge thank you to my partner in crime (Little Miss Nicap) for helping me along. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 47

Brandi walked through the stable, a smile spreading across her face as she could hear the laughter coming from just outside. She stopped and leaned against the doorway watching as Persephone and Kelsey made the final preparations for their ride. The pair were just finishing saddling their horses, both laughing at…well at what Brandi didn't know, but it warmed her heart nonetheless. Over the months since Kelsey had become part of their lives the teen had formed a tight bond with the brunette as well. Brandi had seen Persephone interact with children in their previous situation and knew how wonderful she was with them, but this was different. Brandi caught herself imagining she was watching Persephone with their teenage daughter. It started giving her thoughts and feelings about the future she hadn't thought about in a while. Life was good here, it was stable and they were now in a comfortable routine. The thoughts of a family and children may not be the most appropriate at the moment. Seeing she'd earned the pairs attention she pushed the thoughts back for a later time and headed out to join them.

Persephone watched as Brandi climbed into the saddle, the blonde taking a moment to lean forward and lightly rub the horse's neck as she spoke to it. It always made her chuckle how Brandi would talk to a horse after getting in the saddle. She found herself suddenly wishing she had her camera, the fog had finally lifted and the late morning sun was casting a beautiful glow over her partner. She climbed onto the horse she was riding and guided it closer to the blonde's, leaning over to whisper "You are stunningly gorgeous."

Brandi blushed slightly at the surprise comment "What?"

Persephone smiled "You're always beautiful, amazing, but something about the way the sun was shining on you just…" a few tears began to well in her eyes "You just looked perfect."

Loud kissing noises broke the spell they were under. Kelsey rode by them, laughing and puckering her lips "Save it till you're home!"

It was a beautiful fall morning as they headed across the open field. They had become regulars at the Silver Bend Ranch, a ranch open to the public for riding. It was their first time on horseback in a few weeks due to an early cold snap. After their time in Wisconsin they knew fall came earlier than it did to other parts of the country but it seemed to arrive even earlier here. The trees were now covered in bright yellows, oranges and reds. The hillsides appearing to be on fire with color, the mountain peaks covered in white.

Brandi had started volunteering at the shelter once school was out, loving that not only was she able to help others she was able to work alongside her partner as well. Now that school had started back she planned to cut back a bit on her volunteering in order to tutor again this year.

Persephone for her part had fallen in love with what she did. While it was completely different in terms of pace and type of work as compared to being a detective, it drew on her want and need to not only protect others but to help them as well. Most days the worst thing they had to deal with were harassing phone calls from abusive partners, occasionally an ex showing up threating a person staying at the shelter or the workers themselves. Persephone took this all in stride as did the other security guards, most were former police or military so they didn't scare easily.

"So I'm thinking about trying out for either basketball or volleyball this year." Kelsey announced as they were returning to the stable.

"Really?" Persephone asked excitedly. "That's great."

"The only thing I worry about is will I still have time to volunteer." She smiled "I really enjoy it."

Persephone gave her a sympathetic smile "If you have to cut back or stop its okay."

"I know." She then brightened "If I make a team, will you guys come watch?"

Brandi looked to her partner then smiled at the teen "We wouldn't miss it for the world!"

They had just entered the small arena at one end of the stables when Persephone's horse startled, rising to its hind legs suddenly.

"Woah!" Persephone shouted as she held onto the reigns, trying to keep her balance as the horse reared again.

Brandi and Kelsey jumped from their horses as one of the ranch hands ran toward the brunette attempting to get control of the animal.

It happened in slow motion, or that's how it seemed to Brandi. The horse reared one more time, Persephone leaned forward but it wasn't enough. The brunette went backwards and hit the ground with a thud. The man managed to grab the reigns, at least stopping it from possibly trampling the brunette.

"Persephone!"

Both Brandi and Kelsey raced over to the older woman, Brandi dropping to the ground next to her. Persephone's eyes were closed but she was breathing much to Brandi's relief. She was vaguely aware of someone telling her they were calling 911 but her only focus was her partner. Tears fell from her eyes when Persephone moaned and began to move.

"Baby? Persephone, just stay still. It's okay, you're gonna be okay."

Suddenly the brunette gasped for air, the landing so hard it had knocked the wind out of her. She opened her eyes for a second then closed them again.

When the ambulance arrived Brandi tossed their keys to Kelsey and climbed into the back of the ambulance to ride with the brunette.

In the ER Brandi had been asked to wait while the brunette was examined. She nervously paced the waiting room while Kelsey did her best to try and keep her calm.

"James family?"

Brandi introduced herself and was ushered back to a curtained off area. Persephone hadn't said much on the ride in, a few mumblings here and there but that was about it.

"How is she?" she asked the young man who'd introduced himself as the physician who'd treated her partner. In her opinion he looked a little too young to be a doctor but she decided to keep that to herself for the moment.

"She's fine. Nothing's broken, she did have a rib that had popped out of place but we put it back. I ran a CT scan and did a quick neuro check, both came back clear so no head injury. All in all she's pretty lucky for a fall from a horse. However, she is gonna be very sore for a few days."

Brandi breathed a sigh of relief and wiped a few stray tears. "She was unconscious though, for a second, or at least I think she was. Are you sure there's no concussion or anything? I mean she really hasn't spoken much either."

"She's just a little out of it that's all. I want to keep her here for a little while longer just to be sure, but if all goes as I expect you can take her home in a couple hours."

Brandi thanked him then ran back out to relay the news to Kelsey. The teen said her mom was on her way to pick her up, and if it was okay she'd call later to check on the brunette. Once back in the exam area Brandi walked in and took a seat on the edge of the bed. Persephone appeared to be asleep which worried Brandi. She motioned for a passing nurse "Excuse me, but should she be sleeping?"

"She's okay, we gave her some mild pain relievers to help with the soreness from the fall."

"Alex?"

Brandi whipped her head around at the sound of her real name falling from the brunette's lips. A sudden wave of panic coursed through her, what had the brunette said while she wasn't around? "Persephone, baby? It's me, Brandi." Making sure to add extra emphasis to her name. "Are you okay?"

"Alex?" her voice still not strong but loud enough for the nurse to hear.

The nurse leaned over "Is there someone I can call for you?"

"No." Brandi said a little more quickly than she intended. She gave the nurse an appreciative smile "Um, no, it's just us. But thank you though."

"Alex?" Persephone grinned that time, almost flirtatiously.

Brandi groaned internally. She leaned down and whispered so the nurse couldn't hear "Yeah baby, it's me, Alex. I'm here."

At that Persephone seemed to relax a bit. Brandi looked to the nurse who was now trying her best to appear as though she wasn't listening. "Thank you, we're good now. If she needs anything I'll call." She breathed a sigh of relief once they were alone again.

A little time passed, Brandi wasn't sure how much, when Persephone groaned and began to stir. She held her head as she attempted to sit up.

"Take it easy." Brandi sprung from her seat next to the bed. "Do you know where you are?"

"Based on the smell and the obnoxious lights I'd guess the hospital." she groaned as she covered her eyes.

Brandi grinned "Well, you're still a smart ass so you must be okay."

"Huh?"

"Do you know who you are?"

"Yeah, do you?"

Brandi laughed now as she helped her partner sit up a little better in bed. "Do you remember what happened?"

"I remember falling off the horse."

Brandi launched into relaying the events of the last couple hours. "You're gonna be sore for a few days, but thank God you weren't injured seriously."

"Awesome. Now, can we get out of here?"

"The doctor is gonna check you again first."

Persephone's bottom lip pushed out in a pout "But you know how much I hate hospitals."

"That's true, but you're gonna see the doctor again before you leave." She lightly ran her hand over the brunette's thigh "For once, I'm gonna get my way."

Brown eyes widened as her mouth dropped open "For once _you're_ getting your way?! You always get your way!"

Brandi pretended to be offended, leaning back and placing a hand on her chest "I always get my way? Since when?"

"Since always."

* * *

Nearly an hour later they were walking through the door of their home. Brandi helped the brunette get settled on the couch then began breaking out the takeout they had ordered. Neither having eaten since that morning both were now starving.

As Persephone dug into her vegetable lo mein she glanced out of the corner of her eye "You still always get your way." resurrecting their earlier conversation.

"And again I ask, since when?"

At that Persephone smiled brightly "Since you first saw me and wanted me, and now you got me."

Brandi laughed, nearly choking on her food. She leaned in for a kiss "That's right, I've got you and I'm never letting go."

Later as they were lying in bed Brandi debated telling the brunette about her utterings in the ER.

"What are you thinking?"

"Today, when you were still a little out of it?" Persephone nodded "You said my name…Alex."

Persephone's eyes went wide "Oh God! What did I say?"

"You just said my name a few times. I told you I was there but you kept saying it. I finally leaned in and whispered that I, Alex, was there with you. You stopped saying it after that."

"Did anyone hear?" she was beginning to panic.

"I'm pretty sure the nurse did. She tried to pretend she wasn't listening, but she was."

"Oh God, I'm so sorry!"

"It's okay. I did the same thing, remember?"

"Yeah, but you were drunk and I was able to easily explain it away."

"You'd taken a pretty hard fall, you were on pain relievers, and I think she just assumed you were talking about someone else. She asked if there was someone she needed to call." Trying to lighten the moment she grinned "She probably thinks you're cheating on me. I guess I should've thrown a little fit and asked who Alex was."

Persephone chuckled but she still hated she'd done it. She kissed the blonde goodnight and snuggled closer to her "I love you, and I really am sorry."

"I love you too, and there's nothing to be sorry about."

* * *

Persephone moved and twisted as she walked down the hall toward the main desk. It had now been almost a week since her accident and while it wasn't as bad as the first couple days, her body was still sore. Her back and legs bothered her the most and she had multiple bruises from her hips to her shoulders. Brandi of course had been nothing short of wonderful over the last week. She drew a relaxing bath every night for the brunette, even on the couple days she took off from work, to allow her to soothe her aching muscles. It was the thoughts of that relaxing bath that was going to get her through the last little bit of her shift.

Brandi walked into the shelter, ready to take her lover home. Even though they had finally purchased a second car they still enjoyed riding to work together on the days their schedules permitted. Knowing when she didn't see the brunette in the reception area she nodded to the woman working the front desk, and was buzzed into the actual shelter area. There sitting in a chair was Persephone speaking to a young woman who had visibly taken a beating recently. She hung back to allow the pair their privacy, marveling at how Persephone could put any one at ease.

Persephone smiled when she saw Brandi waiting for her. The blonde had taken a seat while waiting and was now reading to a couple of the children in residence. Brandi hadn't struck as the children type, but she was a natural. She remembered their conversation, before they found out their true identities, about a family and kids. Brandi looked up and made eye contact as she finished the book and said her goodbyes to the kids. Persephone wondered if maybe it was time to bring up the subject of kids again.

"So dinner, do we want to cook or go out?" Brandi asked as they made their way out.

"I was thinking take out. I've had a craving for pizza lately, and we haven't had it for a while."

"Mmm…pizza sounds good." She had found good pizza in both places she'd lived since entering the program, but none of them were as good as a New York City pizza.

Their thoughts of food were interrupted by the sound of shouting coming from the reception area. Persephone took off running to see if she could help, Brandi right on her heels. As she burst through the door the brunette could see a couple of the on-duty guards were already attempting to get control of the man. The flashing blue lights coming through the glass were a welcome sight to the guards attempting to control the situation.

"Stay back." Persephone cautioned her partner as she tried to help.

Brandi watched from the corner as the man was finally handcuffed even though he was still putting up a fight. Even though Persephone was injured right after she began volunteering at the shelter it was something that still concerned the blonde every day. She was almost certain she would go crazy with worry if they were together while the brunette was an officer. She was shaken from her thoughts however when she realized everyone in the room was staring at her. She glanced to Persephone, her partner's expression a mix of fear and shock.

"I know who you are!" the man shouted as he looked at Brandi. "I know who you are!"

"Get him out of here." Persephone shouted suddenly. She walked quickly to her partner's side, but trying not to give away exactly how worried she was in that moment.

Brandi was froze in her spot, she wasn't sure what to do.

"I found you! I found you!" he shouted as they finally pushed him out the door. The man was still shouting as they dumped him into the back of the squad car.

"Probably some nut job." Mike, one of the guards said as he passed "I wouldn't worry about him."

Persephone nodded "Yeah."

They walked out the door toward, the squad car pulling from the lot. Persephone had her arm wrapped protectively around the blonde. Brandi hadn't said a word as they left, but her body trembling told the brunette all she needed to know. "We're fine, you're fine." She whispered "I'll never let anyone hurt you."

Brandi nodded and attempted a smile but it didn't reach her eyes. As she buckled her seatbelt she felt Persephone reach over and take her hand, squeezing it lightly. She was comforted by her love holding her hand but the last few minutes were on replay in her mind. _'I know who you are! I know who you are!'_


	48. Chapter 48

**A/N: I know it's been a while since I updated this. I promise you it's not because I've lost interest, I hope you haven't either. I hit a bit of writer's block with this. I hope to now be back on track with writing. As I've said before, I won't give up or leave a story unfinished. Thank you to everyone who has favorite, followed, reviewed. It means so much. A little resolution to the previous chapter in this one, and some angst as well. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 48

Three days. It had been three days since the incident at the shelter, and three days of Brandi staying on edge. So far they had been unable to find a connection between the blonde and the man from the shelter, but that didn't do anything to ease their minds. Persephone had been in contact with the officers she'd come to know from working at the shelter, gaining any info she could, but it seemed to be a dead end.

Brandi took her time replacing the last few books on the cart, she was enjoying being alone at the moment and was in no hurry to get back to the main desk. She was sure the others she worked with knew something was bothering her but thankfully none had been too prying in their questions.

"Hey."

Brandi jumped at the voice, knocking a few books to the floor. She placed her hand on her chest in an attempt to slow her heartbeat as she turned to see Persephone at the end of the aisle.

"I'm sorry." Persephone whispered as she started toward her partner.

"It's okay."

Persephone crouched down to help Brandi pick up the books she'd knocked down. She could see the tremble in the blonde's hands and kicked herself mentally for startling her. "You okay?" she asked as she cautiously reached out and placed her hand on Brandi's trembling one.

"Fine. I'm fine." She gathered the books and stood to place them back on the shelf.

Persephone stood, and took a step back. She knew Brandi had been uneasy the last few days but she'd hoped it was getting better, obviously it wasn't. "Um, so, I was thinking maybe we could go out for dinner this evening?"

"I'd…" she sighed and looked at the ground before looking the brunette in the eyes "Can we just go home?"

"Sure. Whatever you want."

"It's not that I don't want to go out, it's just I'd rather us spend the evening at home." then giving her an apologetic smile "I'm sorry."

Persephone smiled as she stepped closer and slowly placed a hand on Brandi's waist, breathing a sigh of relief when she didn't pull away. "And that is fine with me." she stepped closer now "We can do whatever you want. You know there's nothing I wouldn't do for you."

"I know." Brandi smiled sincerely now "It's one of the many reasons I love you."

"So I went by the hospital today." Persephone said out of the blue as they cleaned up from diner.

"Why?" Brandi's voice laced with concern.

"I wanted to see if the nurse was there who was on duty the day I went in." she averted her eyes briefly "The one who heard me say 'Alex'."

"But why?"

"I just needed to."

Brandi nodded slowly as she realized why the brunette had gone "You wanted to know if she heard you say my real name." she closed the dishwasher and leaned back against the counter "You wanted to know if there was a connection to what happened at the shelter."

Persephone nodded quietly.

Brandi blew out a shallow breath "Well?"

"No connection from what I can tell. She was there, I just played it off as though I was there to thank her for taking care of me and being so helpful to you. I didn't get the impression she was lying at any point or that she even heard what I said."

Brandi smiled and reached for her partner's hand "That's good though, it means you had nothing to do with it."

"But I could have. I could've easily blown your cover."

"But you didn't." she took both of Persephone's hands urging her to look at her "We've been through this already, either one of us could possibly blow our cover."

"I know, but I can't." she had tears in her eyes "I can't be the cause of something bad happening to you."

"You won't, I trust you more than anyone in the world."

"I'm gonna go outside and sit for a bit." With a sigh Persephone left a confused Brandi standing in the kitchen.

Brandi milled about inside for a while, deciding it would be best to allow Persephone some time alone. It was wearing on both of them not knowing for sure if there was any connection between the man and the cartel, but she was also worried that the uncertainty of their future was wearing on them more than either cared to admit. She glanced out the window and saw the brunette was still sitting on the swing staring into space. Brandi fixed them both a cup of tea, grabbed a blanket from the couch and walked outside. "Hey." She said as she stepped onto the porch "I brought you some tea."

"Thanks." Persephone said with a smile.

Brandi sat down and draped the blanket around them both as they quietly sipped their tea. Both were lost in their thoughts, barely paying attention the comings and goings of their neighbors.

"It's getting cooler." Brandi said out of the blue, hoping to initiate some conversation.

"Yeah."

Brandi turned slightly "Sweetheart, talk to me."

Persephone stayed quiet for a moment as she tried to gather her thoughts. "I just don't know. I guess I'm just worried that's all."

Brandi tried her best to be reassuring "We're gonna be fine. As long as we're together we're good."

"That's just it though, what if us being together causes the problem?"

"Huh?"

"What if I screw up and out you? What if someone else at the hospital heard me say your name? What if I'm somehow the reason he found you?"

"We don't even know who he is let alone if he found me. He could have me confused with someone else, or mentally ill, we just don't know." Brandi found she was now repeating the same words Persephone had been saying to her.

"I just keep thinking back to that day at the hospital, and how easily I could've screwed it all up for us."

"Well like I said earlier, you didn't."

"But what if I do in the future?"

"You won't."

"But…"

"I said you won't." a little more forcefully this time. "Besides, the only way that could happen is if we weren't together." she said it jokingly but was surprised to see Persephone hang her head. Brandi suddenly felt as if the air had been knocked from her lungs. "Surely you're not…" when the brunette didn't answer she quickly stood and walked inside.

Persephone sighed before getting up and following. "I didn't say-"

"I can't fucking believe you!" Brandi yelled as she whirled around to face the older woman. "After everything we've been through, everything we've done to stay together, and you're gonna tell me you've considered us breaking up?!"

"No!" she saw the look Brandi was giving her and ran her hand through her hair "Okay, maybe the thought crossed my mind in the last few days." seeing the tears welling in the blonde's eyes she continued "It was just a thought though! I just thought that if my mumblings while I was out of it caused any problems for you then maybe you'd be better off without me. I don't want be the reason for more problems for you. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone or anything, and my only concern is your safety. And if I compromised that I couldn't live with myself. If not being with me meant you would be safer then I would go."

"So you're saying, that because you're so concerned for my safety you'd consider leaving me on my own instead of staying with me to be sure I was safe?"

"If not being with me meant your safety then yes, I would."

"I can't do this right now." Brandi replied tearfully as she started toward the stairs. Seeing Persephone was about to follow and say something she held her hand up "Don't follow me." the tears began to fall as she walked up the stairs.

Persephone finally let her own tears fall as she watched the blonde walk up the stairs.

It had been almost an hour since their fight and Brandi was surprised Persephone hadn't tried to come up and talk to her. While in a way she regretted yelling at the brunette, another part of her was hurt, and even angry, that Persephone had even entertained the thought of a break up. Now that she had calmed down a bit she could see where her partner was coming from, it didn't mean it didn't hurt any less though.

Persephone sat curled on the end of the couch. She'd considered giving Brandi a few minutes then going up to talk to her, but decided to respect her privacy and allow her time. The more she thought about it, the more she knew she'd be hurt and upset as well had the situation been reversed. Hearing a noise she looked up and sighed in relief seeing Brandi coming downstairs. "Hey."

"Hey." Brandi took a seat on the opposite end of the couch, pulling her legs up and sitting quietly as she faced her partner.

Several long minutes passed as both tried to decide what they wanted to say, and how they wanted to say it. Persephone was about to speak when Brandi held her hand up.

"Please, can I go first?"

Persephone nodded "Of course."

"I'm sorry I flew off the handle like I did. Also, after giving it more thought I understand where you were coming from in your concern for my safety. However, I won't apologize for being upset about it." she cleared her throat as she wiped a tear "I know you love me, I do, and I appreciate your concern for me, but it still hurt to hear you say you would leave."

"I don't expect you to apologize for being upset." This earned a surprised look from the blonde. "I understand how it would upset you, and if the situation were reversed I can't say I wouldn't have been upset. It was just a thought. Not one I entertained seriously, but it did cross my mind."

"I know you can't help your thoughts any more than I can." She now slid closer and reached for Persephone's hand "We have fought too hard, and came too far to give up now."

"I swear I don't want to lose you. I was just scared." Persephone broke as she pulled the blonde into her arms.

They held one another and cried.

"I know I've said it before," Brandi pulled back and wiped her tears "But I honestly feel safer with you than with anyone I've ever known."

It was now getting late, both ladies had spent the rest of their evening discussing their fears and concerns about their future and their safety. They also reinforced their love for one another and their commitment to one another.

A knock at the door caught both by surprise, especially considering the late hour. Persephone quickly pushed Brandi from the room before stepping up to the door. She looked out the window and was surprised to see a police cruiser sitting in front of their house. She cautiously opened the door, sighing in relief when she recognized one of the officers whom she'd come to know from working at the shelter.

"Hey Jimmy." She opened the door and welcomed the younger man in.

Brandi walked into the living room and quickly reached for her partner. She was unsure why the officer was there, and she needed the physical connection with Persephone to keep herself grounded.

"I'm sorry to come by so late, but I was in the neighborhood when I got the call."

"What call?" Brandi asked nervously.

"The guy from the shelter the other day, we found out who he is."

"And?"

"No connection to either of you."

Persephone breathed a sigh of relief, she felt a few tears trying to form but she managed to hold them at bay. Brandi however wasn't able to hold her emotions quite as well as the brunette. She blew out a breath as a couple tears escaped. "Then…" Brandi attempted a question but couldn't find the words.

Persephone slipped her arm around the younger woman's waist "Then why was he shouting that he knew her and had found her?"

"He's mentally ill." Jimmy said as he took a seat "As you know he's been in the psych ward at the hospital for the last few days. This morning they received a missing person's report for a mentally ill man. He'd gone off his meds recently, and left his home in Wyoming."

"How did he get here?" Persephone asked as she relaxed a little more.

"We're still unsure about that. After seeing a patient matched the missing person's one of the Docs contacted the police there. His sister is on her way here to get him."

"But why did he think he knew me?"

"Turns out his girlfriend died unexpectedly a few years ago. He was already suffering from schizophrenia but he stayed on his meds for her. After her death he fell into depression that didn't help with his mental illness. After spending time in a hospital he got back on his meds, but like a lot of people who suffer from schizophrenia he sometimes goes off his meds. His toughest times are around her birthday and the anniversary of her death. This time it was their anniversary that set him off. The sister said when he goes off his meds he's convinced she's still alive and left him, so he goes looking for her."

"So every time he goes back on his meds he either remembers she's dead or has to be reminded?" Persephone asked.

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Having to relieve his girlfriend's death…I can't imagine." Brandi leaned closer to her partner.

"Turns out you bear quite a resemblance to her. His sister said it's not the first time he's thought a woman was her."

"So, Brandi is safe?" Persephone asked, needing to hear it herself but knowing Brandi did as well.

"Yes."

As he was about to leave Jimmy turned to the couple "His name is Randy, and he is back on his meds now. He asked that we extend his deepest apologies for upsetting you."

"Tell him we accept and we wish him well." Brandi replied.

"How are you feeling?" Persephone asked later as they were getting ready for bed.

"Relieved, grateful we're okay." She scrunched her nose a bit "Still a little worried, like in the back of my mind."

Persephone rounded the bed and pulled the blonde into her arms. "I get that. I think with everything we've both been through that little bit of fear and worry will always be in the back of our minds." They held one another for a few minutes before finally getting into bed. "You know," Persephone said as she rolled onto her side facing the blonde "I was actually considering buying a gun."

"You realize that Kelli would've found out when your prints went through the FBI for the background check."

"I do, that's why I was also considering going to a gun show to get one. Legal purchase, but without the background check."

"The day it happened." Brandi said quietly "I had a nightmare that night, someone had found us and was going to kill us." she sighed "I knew Kelli would know if you bought a gun, so I actually considered one of us buying a gun…illegally."

Brown eyes widened in surprise, she couldn't believe her law-loving partner had considered an illegal purchase. It proved that no matter how confident Brandi appeared outwardly, deep down she was still scared. "You know I'll keep you safe no matter what, gun or no gun. Right?"

"I know." she draped her arm over the brunette's waist and slid closer.

Persephone tangled their legs together then leaned in for a kiss. She pulled back briefly before leaning in for another. "I love you." she whispered when the kiss finally broke.

Brandi rested her head on Persephone's pillow, a peaceful feeling coming over her as she could hear the brunette's heartbeat "I love you too."


	49. Chapter 49

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews of the last chapter, so glad you enjoyed. My apologies for the delay in posting this one. This chapter may seem a little confusing at one point but its brief &amp; I ask that you bear with me, besides I think you'll enjoy it ;) Let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 49

The early morning chill caused Brandi to shiver as got ready for work. Glancing out the window and seeing the sun glistening on the frost she groaned at the thought of colder weather approaching. Since it was Friday, a day she could dress down a bit at work, she grabbed one of Persephone's sweatshirts and slipped it on. Smiling as she inhaled the brunette's scent, Brandi figured since she couldn't have her partner with her all day this would be the closest thing.

As she made her way downstairs she could hear music coming from the kitchen, a fire burning in the fireplace made her feel even more relaxed to start her day. Walking into the kitchen she held back a chuckle at the sight in front of her. Brandi leaned against the door frame and grinned as she watched Persephone dance to Prince's 'Raspberry Beret'. She always enjoyed watching the older woman move, but she especially enjoyed watching her move from behind. The song was nearing its end when Persephone turned and startled to see she had an audience. Before Brandi knew what was happening the brunette grabbed her hand and pulled her close.

The pair danced as the song came to an end and were about to part when The Beach Boys 'Kokomo' started. "Just a little longer." Persephone asked as she spun the blonde and pulled her back. "Pretend we're somewhere warmer."

"We have plenty of time."

After their impromptu dance ended they sat down for breakfast, discussing the day ahead.

"It really sucks that you have a three day weekend and I have to work today." Brandi pouted slightly.

"I know, but you're off this weekend so we'll have plenty of time together. I'm gonna run errands and get the chores done today so we don't have anything to do but spend all weekend with each other."

As they were finishing up breakfast Brandi looked up with a hesitant smile "I've been thinking."

"Uh oh." Persephone grinned.

"It's not bad, well I don't guess it's bad." She smiled a little more "How would you feel about adding to our little family?"

Persephone's eyes went wide.

"Oh, I don't mean that way!" the blonde rushed to explain what she meant. "I mean, yeah I'd like to discuss that at some point but right now still probably isn't the best time. I meant maybe getting a pet."

"Oh, okay." Persephone now breathed a sigh of relief. Even though the topic of children had been broached a time or two, both agreed it was something they should wait a while on making a decision. "What kind were you thinking?"

"Well, a cat or dog. Do you have a preference?"

"I'm allergic to cats."

Brandi nodded at this new bit of info about her partner "Okay, so how about a dog? Did you have one growing up?"

"With my mother? She could barely take care of me, let alone an animal." She smiled when Brandi placed a comforting hand on her own. "I always wanted a dog though."

"So, we want to consider it?"

"Yeah, I think it would be fun. Plus, our careers aren't as demanding as the ones we had in our old lives."

"You think we could maybe go to a shelter tomorrow and have a look around?"

Persephone squeezed the blonde's hand "Sounds like a plan."

Later that afternoon Brandi sighed in relief as she walked through the front door. It was nice to be home and know she had an entire weekend to spend with her love. Recently their weekend schedules had not worked in their favor, meaning they typically only had Sunday to spend together. She was simply relieved they finally had a whole weekend together. She was also looking forward to their trip to the shelter the next day. She'd had a dog growing up and remembered how much fun it was. She also remembered that they were a lot of work, but the unconditional love she received in return more than made up for it. "Hey babe, I'm home!" she called out as she made her way through the house.

The blonde entered the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, an apple from the counter, and pulled a knife from the drawer. Hearing footsteps behind her she called out "I'm cutting myself an apple, you want some?"

"I'm gonna need you to put the knife down."

Brandi furrowed her eyebrows and was about to turn when she felt her partner's body close to her own. "What?"

"I said, you need to put the knife down."

Brandi laid the knife down and turned her head just enough to see a flash of black material over her shoulder. Before she could turn any further, in one swift motion she felt Persephone grab both her arms and pull them behind her.

"Is this okay?" Persephone's voice was softer now than it had been.

"Huh?" she was still confused.

"Your arms, is this okay? I'm not hurting your shoulder, am I?" the concern and compassion evident in the brunette's voice.

"Uh…no, no…I'm fine. It doesn't hurt." She took advantage of the sudden break in the moment to quickly turn and face the older woman. Nothing could've prepared her for the sight of Persephone wearing a police uniform. A soft groan escaped her lips. She didn't fail to notice the satisfied look on the brunette's face.

Persephone quickly retook control of the situation and spun the blonde back around so she was facing the counter. "You're gonna need to come with me." she said as she pulled Brandi's hands behind her back again.

"What for?" the words barely left her mouth when she felt a pair of handcuffs quickly, and expertly, being slapped on her wrists.

"Keep it up." Persephone said as she led the blonde through the living room and carefully began walking her up the stairs, being careful to keep her from tripping. Feeling the blonde jerk slightly, and noticing she seemed to be moving her right shoulder more she broke character for another brief moment "Are you sure your shoulder is okay?"

"It's fine."

They stopped at the top of the stairs "If you want to stop, just say so and it's over." Her voice soft and loving.

"I know, but that's not gonna happen."

Persephone gave the blonde a gentle shove forward into their bedroom and began reading her rights. Brandi's mind was racing as it tried to catch up to all the sensations her body was feeling. She'd remembered joking at some point about wanting to see the brunette in uniform but never did she imagine it would happen, especially this way.

They stood a few feet from the bed, Brandi facing the wall with Persephone right behind her. "Now, I'm gonna take the cuffs off. You're not gonna try anything, are you?"

"No."

Persephone undid the cuffs, taking a moment to gently rub the blonde's wrists and ease any discomfort. "Hands against the wall and spread 'em."

"What?!"

"Hands on the wall."

Brandi placed her hands against the wall in front of her as she waited for what would happen next. Her heart was already racing and the moisture in her body had begun flowing southward.

"I said, spread 'em!" Persephone put her foot between Brandi's and pushed them apart, a move she'd done many times over the years.

"Look," Brandi finally getting into the game "I don't know who you think you are officer but…" she was cut off.

Her mouth was against the blonde's ear as she whispered "That's Detective Benson to you, Ms. Cabot."

Brandi whipped her head around, her eyes wide and her mouth hanging open.

Persephone gave her a small smile "Just this once." It was a statement not a question.

"Just this once."

Their lips met in a soft kiss.

"Now, hands on the wall and spread 'em." She leaned around and held the blonde's gaze "If I'm gonna find something, you'd be better off telling me now."

"I have nothing to hide." Her voice defiant.

"You better hope not." The brunette replied as she placed her hands on the younger woman's arms and slowly worked her way down. She pat her arms, slowly working under them and around her torso, then over her breasts.

She couldn't help the groan that escaped her lips.

"Are you forgetting that anything you say will be used against you, Ms. Cabot?"

"I know my rights!"

"Yeah, they all do." the brunette continued her hands down the younger woman's body; patting her legs to her ankles then working her way back up her inner thighs, but making sure to stop just before arriving at the juncture of her thighs. She grabbed the younger woman's arm and turned her around, surprised by the look she was receiving.

"Look, Detective Benson, I'm sure this is all just one big misunderstanding." A seductive smile on her face.

"A misunderstanding, huh?"

"Yes." she stepped closer and looked down at the uniform, then back into darkening brown eyes "I'm sure we can work something out…."

"What would that something be, Ms. Cabot?"

The blonde trailed the tip of her finger down the center of the brunette's shirt "You're a smart woman," a flirtatious grin "I think you know what I mean."

"Are you propositioning me, Ms. Cabot?"

"That depends Detective, are you accepting?"

She couldn't hold back any longer as she pressed her body against the one in front of her "In that case, maybe you should call me Olivia." the words barely left her mouth before she felt Alex's lips on her own.

"God, Olivia!"

Olivia felt her knees go weak at the sound of her name coming from the blonde. Feeling Alex's hands beginning to undo the buttons of her shirt she pulled back slightly "Careful, I don't want to have to explain how it got ripped when I take it back."

Alex chuckled as she quickly undid the buttons and tossed the shirt on a chair in the corner of the room. She sighed at the sight of a tank under the shirt "Seriously, layers?" as took a moment to admire her lover in black pants and a white tank.

"All part of the uniform."

Alex tossed the tank, followed by the pants, on the chair as well.

"You're way overdressed at the moment." Olivia pulled her sweatshirt off the blonde then slowly slid her jeans down her legs.

Standing in front of one another in just their bras and panties Olivia stepped closer and placed her hands on Alex's waist "Ms. Cabot…"

"Huh uh." Alex placed her finger on the brunette's lips "No more role playing. You said 'just this once', and that's what it's gonna be. Just this once we're gonna be Alex and Olivia."

"I love you so much, Alex."

Alex felt her knees go weak at the words. "I love you more than anything." her voice a whisper as she pressed their lips together.

They settled onto the bed, taking their time with removing their remaining clothing, allowing their hands to roam. Finally completely naked Olivia lowered herself onto the blonde, leaning in to place light kisses across her neck, making sure to stop and linger on the spot she knew drove Alex crazy.

"Dear God." Alex groaned while tilting her head to give the brunette better access. She tangled one hand in Olivia's hair while sliding the other across the older woman's back, finally grasping her backside with a firm squeeze.

Olivia chuckled as their lips met for another kiss.

Hands roamed, along with lips, as they tasted and felt their way along the familiar territory of one another's bodies. It was slow, it was passionate, and it was everything they felt for one another. Both expressing their passion and love for one another without having to say a word. As they crept closer and closer to their climax, both working their fingers inside one another Olivia pulled back to watch the blonde "I just want to hear you say…my name." she panted between breaths.

"And I just want to hear you scream mine."

It was only a matter of minutes; hands and hips thrusting at an increased pace, words of love spoken mixed with cries of pleasure, before they reached the top and tumbled over the edge.

"Alex!"

"Olivia!"

Minutes passed, neither were sure how many, as they lay side by side slowly catching their breath. The early evening shadows had begun to fall across their bedroom, but still enough of a glow from the sun to illuminate one another. Olivia rolled onto her side, smiling as Alex tilted her head to look at her "That was…"

"Yes it was." Alex chuckled lowly. "How much was the rental on that costume?"

"Not nearly what it was worth." She kissed Alex's forehead "I'd have gladly payed double if I'd known this would be the result."

"It was amazing, but just hearing you say my name…" she trailed off. She smiled when she felt Olivia wipe away the stray tear that had escaped her eye "Just hearing you say my name while we're making love made it so wonderful."

"It was wonderful."

They were quiet again for a bit when Olivia smirked "So…where'd you learn to do that thing with your tongue?"

"Which thing?" Alex asked innocently as she placed a hand on Olivia's breast "The thing I did here," her hand slid down Olivia's abdomen and lightly cupped her center, causing the brunette to jump slightly "Or here?"

"Both."

"I can't tell you all my secrets." A self-satisfied grin spread across her face causing Olivia to laugh. "You liked that though?"

The brunette held her hand as if being sworn in "I swear, my eyes were closed but I saw stars."

"You're good for my ego."

"You're good for my whole being."

They stayed cocooned that way, whispering words of love while sharing gentle kisses, and giggling over their afternoon. Of course they'd shared many moments like this, wrapped in one another's arms, pretending they were the only people in the world, this moment however was more special. Even though they'd had a few moments as their true selves before arriving at their current destination, something about this time felt different. Of course it was even better to be able to be themselves without the interruption of a well-meaning US Marshal.

The sound of a car door slamming from the street below broke the stillness of the bedroom. "I guess one of us is gonna have to get dressed and go down to get the food."

Alex smiled sweetly and pulled the sheet up a little further.

"I guess that means I'm going." Olivia said as Alex nodded. The brunette was about to climb from the bed when she felt Alex's hand on hers.

"You know, as soon as your feet hit the floor this is all over." A sadness now in her voice.

"I know." Olivia replied sadly. "So that's why I'm doing this." she leaned over the blonde, her voice and expression sincere "I love you Alex Cabot, with all my heart." she said before pressing her lips to the blonde's.

"And I love you Olivia Benson," she said as their lips parted "Forever and always."

Hearing the knock at the door the brunette climbed from the bed and pulled on sweat pants and a zip up hoodie.

"Persephone?" and there it was, they were now back to their reality.

"Yeah?"

"No shirt or bra?"

The mood lightened Persephone laughed "I didn't hear any complaints."

"And you never will from me." Brandi smiled brightly "I just don't want you giving the delivery guy anything to fantasize about."

"And what if it's a delivery woman?"

"No fantasies for her either." She stood from the bed completely naked and walked over to stand in front of her partner, admiring her tousled after sex hair and an expression that clearly said 'I just got laid' "You're all mine."

"All yours for all eternity." She said with a quick kiss before running off down the stairs to the sound of another knock.

Later, curled on opposite ends of the couch, pizza, breadsticks and dessert spread on the coffee table Persephone stared wide-eyed as the blonde grabbed another piece from the box.

"What?"

"That's your fourth piece!"

"And?" Brandi asked with a mouthful of pizza.

"You've had 3 breadsticks, the pizza, and you keep eyeing that pan of brownies."

"I'm hungry! I didn't have lunch, and someone rudely interrupted my snack when I got home."

"I so rudely interrupted your snack, huh?" she smirked as Brandi grinned and nodded. "I'll remember that. When it comes to food or sex you prefer food."

Brandi sat her plate on the coffee table and leaned over, looking Persephone in the eye "I love you, and I _really_ love having sex with you, but sometimes…a girl just wants food."

Persephone laughed loudly as the blonde leaned back to her end of the couch, grabbed her plate, and smiled as she took another large bite.

"So I gotta ask," Brandi said later as they were getting ready for bed. "What brought this on?" she nodded to the costume now in a bag to be returned to the costume shop.

"Well," Persephone wrapped her arms around the younger woman's waist "I just thought we needed to unwind and have some fun." She smiled flirtatiously "Plus, I seem to remember you saying once you couldn't wait to see me in uniform."

Brandi smiled, her partner never forgot anything about her. "It was definitely worth it."

Settling into bed they faced one another. "So, are you sure about our plans tomorrow?"

"I am. Do you know what kind of dog you want?"

"No, I just figured we'd have a look. Who knows, it might pick us."

"That's what I was thinking." Persephone smiled now, her eyes sparkling "I know it's just a pet but I love the thought of 'adding to our little family' as you put it."

"Do you know how much I love hearing you refer to us as a little family?"

"Yep, I love it as much as you do." she leaned in for a light yet loving kiss "Goodnight, I love you."

"I love you too."


End file.
